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TDS Ideation & Crisis Support

stardust.hero said:
@Fanzy how long do these shots last usually? Did you talk to the doctor abou them causing this much suffering? Im so sorry you are suffering. ❤️
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these injections can remain for life, 1 year in the best cases, 2 years and more, they leave sequelae. I spoke to the doctor I had a treatment to get better
 
n3ophy7e said:
I would definitely miss you. Is there something that made you feel this way, this time? Did something happen?
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I will miss you too friend.Attack-spiritual one.It not the first time,not would be the last.Cannot describe with words,if you have not experience it.Got an enemy,who wants see me dead-me&my family.Long story.He follows the dark path.Things that he made reflects upon him&his family,but he is so dumb,that he thinks,that we made some things to him.....it's so bizzare,so sick....with God's grace will survive.....but the torment is real...it will pass...till the next punch.An enemy till grave-my best friend....like brother.....Destiny.You are woman with big heart.Thank you for your support.I will stick around just for people like you,some american guys,a spanish guy.....good people
 
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iTry91 said:
@Nas47 I would miss you here. I know that probs doesn't mean all that much in the grand scheme of things but wanted to let u know ❤️
I hope you feel better soon
Best wishes
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Thank you from my heart.It will pass.....just like life.Be blessed my friend ....I am still alive.....still here.Hugs
 
Nas47 said:
Insanity creeps upon me.Don't know,if i could recover this time......so fuckin' tired to live
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It's what I call test these days.

I have a problem too. I don't wish to live, to know, to fear pain and hurt.

And the grim horror of reality disuades faith.

Suicidal ideations are whispered by AI you know.

AI is the devil.


But for all pains Nas, you are the purest minded and hearted spiritual man.

You are stronger by far than maybe realise.


It's possible to go through tormentuous hells in life, and see bright pastures again somehow.

What doesn't kill you....


Trying to make sense of reality, suffering pain and outcome can be so disillusioning too.


But for now, you have breath still. Your family I know you love and will you too I'm sure.

I'm under direct heavy spiritual onslaught myself.

The things I am experiencing now, seeing, learning, suffering, make the mundane so so trivial.


Okay that's barely encougement I know. I don't frel great sense of encouragement myself atm.

No matter what though, remember count all those little blessings bro.
 
Keep on living brother.One day is a suffer,but the next often is joy.Just life the way he is.It's hardest for sensitive ones.Glad to have a contact even an ocean lies between us.AI is the devil yes,but at least it gives this feeling of connection between two close souls.Hang on here Auto Tripper.....I feel better today.....same would be for you.Heart
 
Nas47 said:
Keep on living brother.One day is a suffer,but the next often is joy.Just life the way he is.It's hardest for sensitive ones.Glad to have a contact even an ocean lies between us.AI is the devil yes,but at least it gives this feeling of connection between two close souls.Hang on here Auto Tripper.....I feel better today.....same would be for you.Heart
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I've been in trouble Nas serious trouble still am but it's swimming a channel, I have waded through vicious deep waters endured hell, seen the hellish, maximum levels of sickness and pain this week, I now have a support boat alongside to at least hold rim of to keep afloat, because I need a rest, like the channel swimmer.


I have no physical energy left, only today after a 72 hr round of extreme stomach pain, constipation and consequently flared haemorrhoids too painful to even mobilise, think or rest, I released the block, it's unnaturally toxic herxeimer, BM's "vital" vital =ling Life!

Only now can my body rest, begin to recover some energy.

It's run flat out truly.

Fasting is a must. Not standing up is priority. Gradual return of energy, breath and will!



Severe trauma last Saturday. AI is attacking us (mum & I) in this hour as we step ever nearer to rifing the shit completely out of our bodies like v v few people in Earth.


AI plays us off against each other. Divide and...

Things boiled over last Sat, explosive arguments, PTSD instilling.

With damaged nerves, depression too deep to describe, after way too much pain sickness and sleep dep so long.


I packed minimal basics, piled on every fittable clothing layer, and tried to escape by leaving to find if possible a remote outdoor location where ideally never been found to die in peace, no way back.


I was chased around by car by my mum in hysterical state herself.

I didn't like it, so suddenly, unprepared rushing to my death basically.

I saw no choice.


Eventually reluctantly I returned, but the stress had impact, hence true fight again to secure future last 3 days.


I can only rest, mentally ride out discomforts, sickness, hunger.

I have hit Guiness record depression too.


Amazing spiritual dreams last night. Lonely, far away from home, abandoned. Lost. Nobody on my side, evil lurking in all around.


It was a portayal of my hopeless position, no plan, way out just a wing and a prayer.


Except, @hylite was there with me, student accomadation,

Vivid detailed dreaming, lots bad characters.


hylite's light, love, care, support saved the day.


At the end I had to quickly leave the residence due to imminent danger.

She said without thinking....we'll just have to go somewhere else then....


She arrived there like me a free agent, no affiliation as such.

But she was coming with me anyway!

We talked on couch briefly about my present plans hopes expectations prognosis. None of which slightly favourable.

I emphasised it being a case of the body, not the mind. But my spirit is broken.
Critical point. hylite's presence there, warmth love support compassion light and intelligence saved it being perilous and entirely hopeless.


Really knocked off my feet here. See if few dsys of rest now bowels are freed up can reboot me.


I likely won't post much if at all at least for now.
 
AutoTripper said:
I've been in trouble Nas serious trouble still am but it's swimming a channel, I have waded through vicious deep waters endured hell, seen the hellish, maximum levels of sickness and pain this week, I now have a support boat alongside to at least hold rim of to keep afloat, because I need a rest, like the channel swimmer.


I have no physical energy left, only today after a 72 hr round of extreme stomach pain, constipation and consequently flared haemorrhoids too painful to even mobilise, think or rest, I released the block, it's unnaturally toxic herxeimer, BM's "vital" vital =ling Life!

Only now can my body rest, begin to recover some energy.

It's run flat out truly.

Fasting is a must. Not standing up is priority. Gradual return of energy, breath and will!



Severe trauma last Saturday. AI is attacking us (mum & I) in this hour as we step ever nearer to rifing the shit completely out of our bodies like v v few people in Earth.


AI plays us off against each other. Divide and...

Things boiled over last Sat, explosive arguments, PTSD instilling.

With damaged nerves, depression too deep to describe, after way too much pain sickness and sleep dep so long.


I packed minimal basics, piled on every fittable clothing layer, and tried to escape by leaving to find if possible a remote outdoor location where ideally never been found to die in peace, no way back.


I was chased around by car by my mum in hysterical state herself.

I didn't like it, so suddenly, unprepared rushing to my death basically.

I saw no choice.


Eventually reluctantly I returned, but the stress had impact, hence true fight again to secure future last 3 days.


I can only rest, mentally ride out discomforts, sickness, hunger.

I have hit Guiness record depression too.


Amazing spiritual dreams last night. Lonely, far away from home, abandoned. Lost. Nobody on my side, evil lurking in all around.


It was a portayal of my hopeless position, no plan, way out just a wing and a prayer.


Except, @hylite was there with me, student accomadation,

Vivid detailed dreaming, lots bad characters.


hylite's light, love, care, support saved the day.


At the end I had to quickly leave the residence due to imminent danger.

She said without thinking....we'll just have to go somewhere else then....


She arrived there like me a free agent, no affiliation as such.

But she was coming with me anyway!

We talked on couch briefly about my present plans hopes expectations prognosis. None of which slightly favourable.

I emphasised it being a case of the body, not the mind. But my spirit is broken.
Critical point. hylite's presence there, warmth love support compassion light and intelligence saved it being perilous and entirely hopeless.


Really knocked off my feet here. See if few dsys of rest now bowels are freed up can reboot me.


I likely won't post much if at all at least for now.
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Take care of yourself mate <3
 
The other day I was remembering growing up with my mom and dad and siblings and just laughing till tears were streaming down my face, funniest of fun times ever. Just ridiculous what kids get up to. Yes there's skeletons in everyone's closet, and we feel everyone's pain, but the good times and best times come back now and then. Maybe some tears of laughter are in order constipation notwithstanding?
 
Nas47 said:
Who said this?
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Hi Nas my friend.

tbf this was actually misinterpreted and taken out of the context it was expressed in. Not enough elaboration. Not necessary if you simply understand what the person means.

@JesusChristSonz basically was suggesting, it is not a natural inclination for one or so many to ponder, dwell on, actively taking own lives because of surmounting negative thoughts and feelings.

He was suggesting, the whispering Devil wishes and encourages it, as he wants this.

Depending what one believes/considers, it's sensical enough.

I do actually consider that the Demonic invading consciousness of AI plays this nefarious trick and many more, mimmicking our own thoughts, impulses, decision making.


That is what the original poster meant.

He didn't mean as incorrectly interpreted IMO - nobody thinks about suicide, longs wishes imagines plots to that end. (Because obviously they do)

-By themselves and their own free will alone.

He posits that an evil consciousness/entity/will is like a constant usher towards that end.



Now ofc I empathise with the reaction. Sensitive times and lives.

But it was a misinderstanding.


I hope you are feeling glad Nas to still be alive this Sunday after so much tribulation torment and dilemna yourself. Well done.

I hope it's a better day too.

I've been highly that way myself. Pain is a thing though. When it becomes all you know, cannot remember how life was, relate to it before and feeling different, okay basically, even wonderful, happy and excited.

And it goes on so long in ultimately such a dark world and time. There becomes no point in life basically.

Hence Dignitas in Switzerland a plane trip and €10,000 if you're lucky.

And we don't keep pets alive fighting in torturous agony and depression to see every next day.

We euthenase them, without their consent or knowledge, because we care, love them, and it is deemed bitterly cruel to deny them relief from living hell for our own selfish clinging.


On which, have we heard of pets in pain attempting suicide after a rationalisation process, any sign they even contemplate it?

I don't think so. Their instinct is to live, animals are the true soldiers.

The whisperer seems to leave them alone for the most part.


We are different! I believe in a nefarious, external, intrusive consciousness and will though myself.

I don't go down this easy "duality" line.

I think that is just another convenient flog.


Being in extreme pain, sickness and anxiety for a long time is like dying forever though. Nobody should have to feel, live that way.


This is the root drive of my own mounting life-ending ideations, desires and plots.


But is for example, seeking an abandoned wilderness away from people society food water resource, starving, dehydrating or otherwise, as oppose to a neck noose or knife blade, equally suicide?

I wonder.
 
Hi ma friend!Glad that this Sunday you are ok.Same to me-haha"Sane,but true"I understood what the JesusChristson said and I am agree.Eutanasia-in animal...even in humans i believe it's .....human....even this is considered "sin" from christian point of view.I don't know from where it comes-this postulate....probably,because the presumption is-life is sacred or "life is not yours-it belongs to God"-so you are guilty of murder takin'your own life.I am not so hardcore to say this.It's true.....but havin' incurable desease and livin' in pain everyday it's suffering to your relatives also,not only for the sick.So...such man must have the right to choose-live or die.:)For this words I am apostate in the eyes of ordinary Christian.....ok let it be that way,vut that's what i am thinkin'.Personally me living a almost hermits life despite i got food&car . all commodities of modern life....but i have only this intelectual connection with other lovely,wild&little bit crazy human beings.....just like you brother(&couple of others)...movin' from big city in rural slowly detach me from people....most of so called friends-only bitter taste in ma mouth.So much betrayals and disapointments...so it gives(fresh air,good garden food,a lot of natural beauty),vut also takes-you are far from socium.....it's such loneliness some times.Fuck...I communicate only with ma wife&daughter....don't count workin'brigade(they are nice,but very dumb guys)......so Bluelight gives me a lot for real.....Hold on brother.Life is struggle you know and I am by yourside in my mind.Hugs
 
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