Hey guys. I rarely am on BL these days and generally only follow the What Is Wrong With MDMA Today? and related threads, and a few Big & Dandy and Small & Handy's, but.... I hope you all are doing well and having a good holiday season 
☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: If 2020 Was the Dumpster, Can 2021 Be the Fire?
- Thread starter cosmic charlie
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Buzz Lightbeer
Bluelight Crew
Thank you very much psy :D good thinking, I have a smile on my face because of it, but I'll keep the overly specific reasons to myself. Same to you!
I tend to dislike this time a year but eh, we make the best of it. A little sun would do wondere though, that's all I'm gonna say...
I tend to dislike this time a year but eh, we make the best of it. A little sun would do wondere though, that's all I'm gonna say...
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
I dislike the season because of the short days and lack of light and cold, but I love the Christmas week or so, because I go visit my family and I don't get to see them very often.
Speaking of that though, getting ready to leave and traveling is stressful. It's extra stressful this year because my cat won't stop trying to fight my girlfriend's new(ish) cat. She adopted the cat from a friend because he wasn't being very well taken care of, she's known him for years and is very attached to him. He's a great cat, the problem is my cat, it turns out, is a huge asshole to other cats. He was an asshole to my other cat who passed too, but she was his mom and I didn't worry about their safety, he would just do annoying stuff and sometimes they'd scuffle but it wasn't a concern. But he gets really aggressive with the new cat and I am afraid to leave them alone together for too long. I mean we do leave them alone for short times when we go somewhere, but even during the day, if possible I let the other cat outside to avoid any issues. I've had to pull them apart a few times, and just 2 days ago, it was the worst yet. I had to separate them and lock my cat in my bedroom for a while, and the new cat was cowering afterwards. I was really hoping it would have gotten better by now (it's been like 4 or 5 months). So, I have to lock my cat in my bedroom while we're gone for 8 days. We have someone coming over twice a day to feed them and hang out with them, but I feel bad that he's going to be locked up. But I don't want to come home to bloody cats either. I don't know if it would go that far but being gone for 8 days is not the time to find out.
Also work has been brutal this past week and I haven't had time to stop and take a breath. Been staying up late too. And to top it off, earlier today I randomly started getting sciatica pain out of nowhere, which is going to suck tomorrow when I'm sitting in a car for 13 hours.
The cat thing is definitely the biggest stress though...
I don't get it, my cat is almost 17 years old. He's too old to fight! But he disagrees.
Speaking of that though, getting ready to leave and traveling is stressful. It's extra stressful this year because my cat won't stop trying to fight my girlfriend's new(ish) cat. She adopted the cat from a friend because he wasn't being very well taken care of, she's known him for years and is very attached to him. He's a great cat, the problem is my cat, it turns out, is a huge asshole to other cats. He was an asshole to my other cat who passed too, but she was his mom and I didn't worry about their safety, he would just do annoying stuff and sometimes they'd scuffle but it wasn't a concern. But he gets really aggressive with the new cat and I am afraid to leave them alone together for too long. I mean we do leave them alone for short times when we go somewhere, but even during the day, if possible I let the other cat outside to avoid any issues. I've had to pull them apart a few times, and just 2 days ago, it was the worst yet. I had to separate them and lock my cat in my bedroom for a while, and the new cat was cowering afterwards. I was really hoping it would have gotten better by now (it's been like 4 or 5 months). So, I have to lock my cat in my bedroom while we're gone for 8 days. We have someone coming over twice a day to feed them and hang out with them, but I feel bad that he's going to be locked up. But I don't want to come home to bloody cats either. I don't know if it would go that far but being gone for 8 days is not the time to find out.
Also work has been brutal this past week and I haven't had time to stop and take a breath. Been staying up late too. And to top it off, earlier today I randomly started getting sciatica pain out of nowhere, which is going to suck tomorrow when I'm sitting in a car for 13 hours.
The cat thing is definitely the biggest stress though...
I don't get it, my cat is almost 17 years old. He's too old to fight! But he disagrees.
Dreamflyer
Bluelighter
"Naughty little Pootums!"
Buzz Lightbeer
Bluelight Crew
Man, one day of hypomania (Friday) and depression hit back hard, I thought I was done with this shit
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
My lower back really hurts... a combination of sciatica and ankylosing spondylitis from psoriatic arthritis. Seems like my medication for that has been less effectively lately. I'm really hoping that's temporary. I don't get any side effects from it, and I don't want to have to try one of the more side effect heavy ones... those biologic medications that shut down parts of your immune system have the potential to be super sketchy.
perpetualdawn
Bluelighter
Yikes @Xorkoth I hope it's temporary too, and that you don't need to use immunosuppressants, the risks and side effects are higher. But of course if that's the thing you need to help you condition..
I had some really major back issues about 8 years ago, and I decided to switch to a standing desk for work and began running every day and the problems have vanished. I don't want to be that guy giving trivial advice ("oh you broke your arm? you should try arnica") but also can't help wanting to share what has helped me so much. It does sound like whatever you have going on is a lot more advanced that what I was dealing with though.
I had some really major back issues about 8 years ago, and I decided to switch to a standing desk for work and began running every day and the problems have vanished. I don't want to be that guy giving trivial advice ("oh you broke your arm? you should try arnica") but also can't help wanting to share what has helped me so much. It does sound like whatever you have going on is a lot more advanced that what I was dealing with though.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
A 1914 Trip Report of Psilocybin Mushrooms from Science Magazine - Psychedelic Frontier
In the treasure troves of Erowid I found a very old experience report for psilocybin mushrooms — a ‘trip report’ from long before that term was coined. It predates mycologist R. Gordon Wasson’s groundbreaking article, Seeking the Magic Mushroom — which exposed psilocybin mushrooms to a much...
Mushroom trip report from 1914! Very interesting and well written report!
The OG psychonauts
Honestly a better read than a lot of modern trip reports. Doesn't mention how much they took but judging by the report it sounds like 10g at least.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
So like you stand at your desk for work, instead of sitting? I have considered whether maybe I could get some sort of "chair" where I am leaning forward with something supporting my chest and knees, hard to describe but I have something in mind. Seems like standing all day would suck.
But yeah, psoriatic arthritis is pretty serious. Ankylosing spondulitis is often the first thing to happen, which causes the lower back vertabrae to fuse. I unfortunately didn't react when I first started noticing the symptoms so there is likely some damage already (in fact I know there is, but not sure exactly how much). I just want to avoid there being more damage.
I am already on an immunosuppressant, but it is a highly targeted 3rd generation one with a very specific pathway that doesn't affect anything more broadly. I don't want to have to go on a broad immunosuppressant.
Buzz Lightbeer
Bluelight Crew
Have you looked into dosing testosterone? I recall reading that it could help with your problems.
You probably have but can't hurt to mention, right..
My father has similar issues, I once casually brought up something testosterone related to it and he got all defensive lol, so I'm not implying anything of the sort here
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Haha no worries, I have in fact thought about testosterone, pretty sure mine is low, if for no other reason than I have been on opioids again for a while now. It definitely feels low, plus I'm pushing 40 now.
Are you saying testosterone would help with back and/or joint pain? What is the mechanism for that? It seems like it would probably just overall improve the way I feel.
Are you saying testosterone would help with back and/or joint pain? What is the mechanism for that? It seems like it would probably just overall improve the way I feel.
Buzz Lightbeer
Bluelight Crew
You'd have to look it up, but there's definitely a theory behind it, some steroids also reportedly kinda 'lube' the joints so to say. It has something to do with repairing cells and probably some other mechanisms. Testosterone also has some anti-inflammatory effects.
I was reading up on steroids and PEDs in general (great stories and incredibly interesting) and some guy on some Dutch forum was going on about how they should be legal and could possibly really help people with arthritis specifically. Then I read about how my country are almost nazis when it comes to PEDs, even going as far as doing random testing in gyms (followed up by house searches if positive) and house searches for any intercepted package.
Man am I glad I got away with ordering all sorts of drugs for years.
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Buzz Lightbeer
Bluelight Crew
Some of the trenbolone stories are so mad, a high dose trenbolone cycle seems like the biggest fucking trip.
I got kinda turned off by the peak alpha male vibes throughout everything though lol, felt weird to be so invested in these things when I'm just a gym noob.
But someday... I'll do the things right, research, strict regimen, extremely cool stuff. It's like regular drugs but in a whole other dimension. I just don't like the idea of being so obsessive about my body, which is what seems to happen to a lot of PED users.
I got kinda turned off by the peak alpha male vibes throughout everything though lol, felt weird to be so invested in these things when I'm just a gym noob.
But someday... I'll do the things right, research, strict regimen, extremely cool stuff. It's like regular drugs but in a whole other dimension. I just don't like the idea of being so obsessive about my body, which is what seems to happen to a lot of PED users.
Deleted member 521610
Bluelighter
steriods are acutally prescribed in NZ for back pain.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Holy shit, that's so invasive, wow.
Yeah my good friend does steroids and is quite obsessed with his body image, muscle mass, body fat, weight gain, etc. It's a hobby for him, and I can't fault him for being obsessive/addicted to something, that would be massively hypocritical. But it is striking, I can't help but think that sort of extreme focus is somewhat unhealthy, but it seems to make him happy.
He uses testosterone and some other stuff. I think if I ever go on testosterone, it will be under the direction of a doctor. You can really mess yourself up when messing with your hormones. he takes a variety of them because otherwise his hormones get really out of whack. He also deals with an increase in his aggression and anger response and talks/thinks about sex like an 18 year old young buck
Buzz Lightbeer
Bluelight Crew
Yeah my good friend does steroids and is quite obsessed with his body image, muscle mass, body fat, weight gain, etc. It's a hobby for him, and I can't fault him for being obsessive/addicted to something, that would be massively hypocritical. But it is striking, I can't help but think that sort of extreme focus is somewhat unhealthy, but it seems to make him happy.
He uses testosterone and some other stuff. I think if I ever go on testosterone, it will be under the direction of a doctor. You can really mess yourself up when messing with your hormones. he takes a variety of them because otherwise his hormones get really out of whack. He also deals with an increase in his aggression and anger response and talks/thinks about sex like an 18 year old young buck
yeah this is a problem within the PED users, it's not only that, it's a whole shift in the way of approaching everything, like really alpha male-ish, it shines through how people talk about things. It leaves a bad taste, but I stick around regardless. It is possible to do everything on your own, if you do regular bloodwork, if you're read up on everything and do proper cycle and off cycle therapy, and figure out over time how things affect you, then I believe it's highly unlikely you end up ruining your natural testosterone production. Anyway, I'm just saying lol...
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
maybe you skallywags will like this fan made video
it's trip worthy
and I love sublime
perpetualdawn
Bluelighter
Yeah, I try to. I have a desk up at standing height (I took a drafting table and put it on some blocks), and then I have a stool that I can use if I'm tired of standing. Sitting posture is really terrible for your lower back, and standing forces you to engage your core which helps stabilize your back. I have a thick carpet under my feet which makes it comfortable. And some good speakers!
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
We just found out my mom's cat has a huge tumor in his chest. My girl and I could tell something was wrong with him as soon as we saw him. Convinced my mom to bring him in. They took 125mL of liquid from his lungs. The tumor is like 99% likely cancer, but they sent it in to get checked. The vet tried to get my mom to put him down right then, but she called me crying and I convinced her to let him come home and see, he is loving that my girl and I are here because my mom doesn't really "get" cats, even though she thinks she does, and her dogs basically demand 100% of all of the attention and somewhat terrorize the cat. So when we're here, he gets lots of love and affection from us. I'm really fond of him, and he doesn't seem like he's in a bunch of pain or anything, he's active and purring a lot and hanging out. The vet said he would be lucky to make it a few days. We're spending as much time with him as we can and giving him lots of love. He does seem to be sick, I don't get the vet's sort of casual, dismissive view though, no way are we putting him down right now. You do that when an animal is suffering greatly.
He's quite a lot younger than my cat. But clearly he is on his last legs. It's sad, he's such a sweet kitty and he's had a pretty rough life,
He's quite a lot younger than my cat. But clearly he is on his last legs. It's sad, he's such a sweet kitty and he's had a pretty rough life,
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