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Venting The Vent/Rant Thread Vs. You Silly KnuckleHeads Can Go Fly a Kite!!

Dude I am tripping my nuts off on a delta 8 thc preroll right thos bizarre hallucinating repeated images of me like going in on themselves over and over in my peripheral vision as I type at work walking around it is too far out idk why or how need to quit that shit now

There are visuals for sure really weird cannot explain the sensation fully nor am I trying to hah hope it wears off shortly might meditate on peat moss bales

Not really as drastic as walking into a funhouse mirror room and seeing your reflections they feel tiny i can feel it as a sensation not just visual

Should note nicotine withdrawal is setting in full force oh my gods help i need to stop just watched Alan Carr and UnKle Adamz speak on quitting smoking huge boost still not craving still hallucinating but feel so good now sitting down it is wild
 
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dragonix said:
Dude I am tripping my nuts off on a delta 8 thc preroll right thos bizarre hallucinating repeated images of me like going in on themselves over and over in my peripheral vision as I type at work walking around it is too far out idk why or how need to quit that shit now

There are visuals for sure really weird cannot explain the sensation fully nor am I trying to hah hope it wears off shortly might meditate on peat moss bales

Not really as drastic as walking into a funhouse mirror room and seeing your reflections they feel tiny i can feel it as a sensation not just visual

Should note nicotine withdrawal is setting in full force oh my gods help i need to stop just watched Alan Carr and UnKle Adamz speak on quitting smoking huge boost still not craving still hallucinating but feel so good now sitting down it is wild
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Just an FYI, tds isn't really the place for talking about tripping balls or descriptive drug experiences. A lot of people in here trying to stay sober and this isn't super conducive to that end. Plenty of other forums where this type of post would be more acceptable.
 
I usually love the fuck outta starting out in a new place alone but this time seems a bit different.
If I do not make this move (ya'll have no clue where this is coming from and will not share it cause of the trolls about) things are gonna get dark real quick.
But it is time.
 
n3ophy7e said:
How are you doing today?? I am so sorry to hear about your friend, I really hope you're coping okay <3
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I'm not doing great. It hits me pretty hard and I've felt so scared. I'm ok if I don't think about it too much. I literally felt like I was losing my mind. Thank you for asking. And thank you for feeling sorry for my friend. He was one of us. Total pain in the ass at times, but with a decent heart.
 
Not sure what it will take for me to get clean I cannot believe I had a relapse like that yesterday starting when I got out of work early at one it was wet outside I was unhappy big time raging high on delta 8, delta 10, nicotine, like six beers, kratom, and a rod of propylhex.

Gross lazy buzz feel gross disappointed dead inside at least I slept but woke up an untold number of times to piss lots of water and food last night despite the bender I was all too pleased to go on.

Will stop venting about work and find a new job but I don't see how a new one will fulfill me with what is available to me lol so basically self help meetings I have not been attending will fix this issue?

Should probably call outpatient to get the first appointment scheduled this morning already. Just to remind myself I have a problem if they cannot cure me one would have by now?

Asking but also talking out loud to myself just get it out somewhere so I can start to redirect this madness towards the path of recovery.

Oh and caffeine it alters my moods well tea is ok the coffee and energy drinks need to be limited they can shift my mood into wanting to use seems like a harmless drug I won't argue but overuse and even regular strong use is part of my poly pattern I had some energy drink in the middle of the binge yesterday after multiple cups of Joe at work surely the coffee at work made the craving for kratom substantial enough for me to not even question. Have also been spaced out on delta ten 24/7 for days now after being zonked on delta 8 for months on end nearly daily not many days off at all no wonder I cannot think for shit
 
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PattiSmythe said:
You can have the life you want...just gonna take a bit of work, dragonix. I'm here if you want to talk.
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Thanks that is kind

I fear I cannot. Someone who understands the laws of destiny foretold me once. Without them I will see an early end.

Don't even know what I am whining about my own inner battle with the devil or something lol.

I suppose I cannot argue that I didn't earn this lot I love to hate.

Hatred is a heavy burden though.

not sure when I will be unchained & I understand continuing to abuse substances won't help me land me a better job at all so using them to escape the doldrum reality of my present job is tightening my bondage certainly not aiding my ability to be energized and focused for greater responsibility cuz with none comes no fruits it would seem
 
Undoubtedly the government fueled systemic violence like gang warfare with their lust for deadly weaponry why can't they use nonlethal ammo more law enforcers and gangsters what is the insatiable lust for killing about use paintballs that burn the skin or electric charges but no they have to be lethal

 
Got to make a walk downtown - coupla miles round trip - tomorrow yall send the good juju. Gonna stp by that restaurant and let hiring manger know (I left a msg but ya know how that goes) wth is going on. I am confident after a coula weeks I can stand a kitchen. Just some down time bidness will only continue to pick up there.
@deficiT howd that meeting go by chance if ya dont mind sharing?
sorry if too off topic lemme see my way out scuse
 
6am-64-14m said:
Got to make a walk downtown - coupla miles round trip - tomorrow yall send the good juju. Gonna stp by that restaurant and let hiring manger know (I left a msg but ya know how that goes) wth is going on. I am confident after a coula weeks I can stand a kitchen. Just some down time bidness will only continue to pick up there.
@deficiT howd that meeting go by chance if ya dont mind sharing?
sorry if too off topic lemme see my way out scuse
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Not bad!
 
Did it again today. Picked up some calcium citrite or some sposed be easy absorb. idk. got some more along the way but need it now i think. so.
thanks
the fruising is starting to fad i gotta funny story about foot itch after swelling started going down... thought it were dem dma beg bugs i was all like seal crawl spotlight creep mode dont move til something else does. lol
peace
 
Life will throw curveballs at me until I can't dodge them and even hit me below the belt it feels like or no one is throwing balls I chose to let them tie me up in their batting cage I willfully signed to enter?

Curveballs or sidewinder groin throws from a phantom menace pitcher aside I ran out of a NJOY disposable ecig in a mere three hours this morning been using Hyde and apparently have a heavier appetite to vape than I was thinking totally not worth it at all that is absurd I am stuck in the grips of nicotine so hard right now bound to get another vape shortly never a NJOY again but Hydes kill me dude they also feed my Mr. Hyde side bad juju


I think you can have profoundly positive experiences with nicotine but I would say in an Indian peace pipe imbibement style manner organic toxin free not counting nicotine as a pesticide
 
Had THE WORST couple customers at work last night. Fucking assholes man. Idk why you have to abuse the ppl that make your food. I'm praying to God that today goes a little bit smoother.
 
Oh because I know what millions of successful sober people in recovery meetings don't so I don't have to go?

They can't help an insane person only a doct0r or monk or rabbi yadda yadda or therapist can who grasps the entire human psyche?

Fine I will go tonight because I don't wanna be wasted again and have nothing better going on in my life right now.
 
Now I am furious all because of this recovery and how society conditions the mass psyche or collective view of things like the government knows the most about life and the universe because only material technology and science are able to demonstrate how it all works, why, and how it should ideally?

Rambling like a dumbo loonie again better run to get free food as we have none here to cook after my binge this weekend I wish I were taking martial arts classes not thinking about going into a church basement to talk about a disease I don't believe in nothing against them but I don't think God is helping me at all nor ever will not that I don't believe in the supernatural just another form of natural baby

Speaking of which I was enthusiastically attending Refuge Recovery here before it shutdown due to COVID had four months going felt awesome they have no options that align with spiritual beliefs here outside the martial institute I betrayed like a deranged savage who belongs deep in the woods running from a CIA hitman

Deluded. Pitiful. Miserable. Stubborn. My only hope now is my face to the floor before an altar for one hour daily if I stop trying I start dying

Probably be more positive in a self-help meeting than getting deeper into forest of my twisted mind I can't go explore alone in any longer if I can help it and remember what is good for me

Drugs damaged my mind and soul obv bad lately too the recent ex sponsor who told me he could see my soul is rotten might have been right but all telling me that did apparently was add anger on top of decrepit rage and I blocked him shortly after the next day it felt like too much I know how bad I am dude
 
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deficiT said:
Had THE WORST couple customers at work last night. Fucking assholes man. Idk why you have to abuse the ppl that make your food. I'm praying to God that today goes a little bit smoother.
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That sucks I don't have to deal with them that much thank God
 
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