You may be right as I talk about in and out of consciousness out of my highest dose
Yeah there was no way of knowing them doses I think with them double and triple stacks especially we're up there in milligrams that's why I say like 250 to let's say 600 may have been my highest dose
Currently with no x pills around it's potentially safer that you can wear your stuff out and test it and testimon batches and see how that reacts how you react to that then test it again at a larger dose
Did you experience massive side effects not the next day but two days after?
It seems for me it wasn't the next day I was okay but two days after always seem to hit me
It was a lifetime ago. Of course I experienced all the most extreme imaginable negative mish mash headfuck ecstasy side effects.
Indeed typically delayed. I liked the comedowns, really a positive afterglow if you took enough quality MDMA.
It's just so far back in time, I've zero trauma or mental scars from it, I can't even get my teeth into a memory of what those midweek often, Tuesday Wednesday major emotional downs and other very physical side effects.
Which always passed. It's strange because the level of this which is repotred like a horror story often, I experienced to the fullest degree and intensity.
But I can't really remember what it felt like. I remember crystal clear my past psychedelic experiences and can visually revisit almost every one and walk around my thoughts feelings and all subjective aspects of it.
But I just didn't interest myself in keeping a drive for the comedown side effects.
And it's really water under the bridge, it was before I even stopped using MDMA 16 years ago, it wasn't like- MDMA still heavily and regularly, like easily 0.5-0.7 grams a week average minimum all 2004 still until May 2005, then forced stop, and period of side effects.
I just couldn't take MDMA anymore but I didn't have any difficulty stopping it or feeling restricted or debilitated by it at the time.
So I have not taken MDMA or a single stimulant except caffeine since 2005.
Lyme Disease struck then you see, made me allergic to everything, and really stole my life away. Every day since has been a harder battle than any day, before that point,
So maybe that is an element the extreme and indescribable difficulty in simply Surviving and living another day one day at a time ever since then is so much harder and more and present and less rewarding than simply riding out side effects of drug use but basically capable of a normal life, can eat, breathe, no allergies, can sleep, friends abound, life livable, vs being debilitated by multiple chronic conditions, severe allergies, no immune system, permanent multiple infections and full on chronic fatigue.
That is just the gist but not of the entirety.
So it's an unfair comparison. If I took the same amount of ecstasy now or has been doing so over the past decade, I would have no chance in life. But I did it when I could handle it, and got away just fine really, time healed.
I do have two modern Dutch MDMA pills at 220 mg's each, but I would risk my life to take them, at best have an awful allergic reaction and a miserable few days of malaise, but my nervous and immune system are ultra sensitive and prone to harm and disorder.
I have been taking huge quantities of LSD again since 2019, which can be completely safe for me, except for a miscalculated or underestimated recatally administered dose of 1 milligram 11 days ago. No MDMA dose, night, weekend, week etc ever shook my off my feet anywhere near as much as this effective overdose of LSD has.
So that is the very untypical or less straightforward aspect in my own personal situation, journey and story, relevant to my outlook and perspective.
Lyme Disease destroyed my life. MDMA "victim" I no way see myself as, nor feel.
If I had my allergies, immune function, chronic fatigue, all impossible abnormalities to live with cured today, just normal options to live, eat, breathe and sleep, I would feel "scot free".
So it's a matter of perspective too. What we appreciate and also take for granted and where we are able to actually appreciate our blessings without making ourselves unhappy unnecessarily I think this is certainly one of the lessons I have learnt.