Men's feelings about sex workers

[LordOfThisWorld]

I've had alot of time clean with some fuxk ups here and there. But why do you think what I've done is so unforgivable that I don't deserve a 2nd chance after being out of that life for so long? "Once a whore, always a whore"? Is it just the end for any female that's been through that hellscape of a life?

You deserve a second chance, "may he without sin cast the first stone, no one cast a stone they all dropped their stones they were gong to stone the adulteress with, and the Lord Jesus said to the adulteress you are forgiven, go and sin no more.

We all deserve a second chance, I don't know your religious background or if you are religious at all, but my belief in our Lord Jesus Christ has gotten me past a lot of things, he keeps me going.

Today he died on the Cross for us to wash away the sins of the world with his blood. For God so loved the Earth that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him shall have everlasting life and not perish 3:16

 

[Jabberwocky]

Man, I really wish I could feel that way. I was raised catholic but we tend to shy away from it later in life. I wish I could just say Jesus is the answer. It would make life alot easier for me I'm sure.

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

I appreciate it. Unfortunately, he's leaving me. Not only because of my past, though that definitely plays a big part in it...

I'm so sorry to hear that, I don't know your real name but will be praying for you to find someone who loves you and some one you deserve and treats you with respect for the great person you are, you are not a whore, but a woman who has turned her life around for the best and has left he past behind, you care about yourself and the man who is now leaving you, that to me is not a whore, it's a woman with a beautiful heart who want to be loved and love in return.

I love you my sister Albertosal.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I just got back from being out all night as he was leaving for work. He asked me to come home at some point last night apparently. I didn't. I told him he officially broke up with me last night and he had a fit.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'm so sorry to hear that, I don't know your real name but will be praying for you to find someone who loves you and some one you deserve and treats you with respect for the great person you are, you are not a whore, but a woman who has turned her life around for the best and has left he past behind, you care about yourself and the man who is now leaving you, that to me is not a whore, it's a woman with a beautiful heart who want to be loved and love in return.

I love you my sister Albertosal.

Wow. That really touched me thank you.

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

And for the record I hate myself. I hate that this man would have married me if I hadn't done what I've done. If I hadn't been through what I have. I didn't learn anything from being a piece of shit, it didn't make me a stronger person, it just made it to where the men I fall in love with from this point on will end up leaving me because I was a whore.

You were not a whore, you did what you had to do because of something you were forced into and a habit you had, you are a good human being, please listen to my words, though I don't know you I LOVE YOU, we are all Gods children whom he has plans for, I trust you will meet someone you deserve and will be good to you and you to him and will be praying for you, if you want send me a PM with your first name so that I may say it in prayer.

Blessed is he who believes in the Lord our God.

 

[Meth novice 79]

My kids father was with an ex stripper/sex worker/whatever the heck else she had to do to feed her kids as a single mum with no education.

He always SAID that it didn’t bother him, he respected her for what she sacrificed to raise her family.

But, he didn’t mean it.
He treated her like garbage. Every time they argued he would bring it up and throw in her face as if to say that her job made her untrustworthy or unclean somehow and made her value in society less than others.
She once told me when I spoke up to him on the issue that literally every man she had dated since would suddenly start treating her differently when they heard about her past career.
8/8 men, all whom admitted to having employed the services of a sex worker themselves at one point in their lives, looked at her as less once they knew she had been one.
But so did all the women in her life she chose to tell.

 

[LordOfThisWorld]

Man, I really wish I could feel that way. I was raised catholic but we tend to shy away from it later in life. I wish I could just say Jesus is the answer. It would make life alot easier for me I'm sure.

Just believe in our Lord Jesus and pray the Our Father sister, everyday, every single day and believe in yourself as well.

 

[JessFR]

My kids father was with an ex stripper/sex worker/whatever the heck else she had to do to feed her kids as a single mum with no education.

He always SAID that it didn’t bother him, he respected her for what she sacrificed to raise her family.

But, he didn’t mean it.
He treated her like garbage. Every time they argued he would bring it up and throw in her face as if to say that her job made her untrustworthy or unclean somehow and made her value in society less than others.
She once told me when I spoke up to him on the issue that literally every man she had dated since would suddenly start treating her differently when they heard about her past career.
8/8 men, all whom admitted to having employed the services of a sex worker themselves at one point in their lives, looked at her as less once they knew she had been one.
But so did all the women in her life she chose to tell.

There are non judgemental people out there. Maybe they're a significant minority. But I honestly think they're out there.

 

[Meth novice 79]

There are non judgemental people out there. Maybe they're a significant minority. But I honestly think they're out there.

Oh definitely
I’m over here

They’d only judge louder if she sat at home collecting welfare.
If my boobs weren’t 42 years old and showing it now I would SO have an OnlyFans account.
Sit back on the lounge in my undies and get paid?
fuck yes

 

[JessFR]

Oh definitely
I’m over here

They’d only judge louder if she sat at home collecting welfare.
If my boobs weren’t 42 years old and showing it now I would SO have an OnlyFans account.
Sit back on the lounge in my undies and get paid?
fuck yes

Ehhhh. I can't attest to that kinda sex work (the at home online or over phone kind) But in my experience, this kinda thing can sometimes fuck you up in ways you wouldn't have previously expected. It's weird.

Not everyone mind you. I think it depends a bit on how you already think of yourself and you're existing relationship with yourself and with sex.

 

[Meth novice 79]

Ehhhh. I can't attest to that kinda sex work (the at home online or over phone kind) But in my experience, this kinda thing can sometimes fuck you up in ways you wouldn't have previously expected. It's weird.

Not everyone mind you. I think it depends a bit on how you already think of yourself and you're existing relationship with yourself and with sex.

I see your point.
Possibly not the most healthy environment for building a womans self worth, the sex industry is it?

I spent most of my formative years GIVING SEX AWAY because of my self worth.
Just think how filthy rich I could be

 

[JessFR]

I see your point.
Possibly not the most healthy environment for building a womans self worth, the sex industry is it?

I spent most of my formative years GIVING SEX AWAY because of my self worth.
Just think how filthy rich I could be

This is probably another example of different people having very different experiences, but my experience was that selling sex was still a very different experience than regular casual sex.

Maybe it'd be different under different circumstances. My experience was with occasional street prostitution, which is probably among the most degrading kinds of sex work for various reasons.

Mine is certainly not the only kind of experience out there though.

 

[Meth novice 79]

Ehhhh. I can't attest to that kinda sex work (the at home online or over phone kind) But in my experience, this kinda thing can sometimes fuck you up in ways you wouldn't have previously expected. It's weird.

Not everyone mind you. I think it depends a bit on how you already think of yourself and you're existing relationship with yourself and with sex.

I see your point.
Possibly not the most healthy environment for building a womans self worth, the sex industry is it?

I spent most of my formative years GIVING SEX AWAY because of my self worth.
Just think how filthy rich I could bej

This is probably another example of different people having very different experiences, but my experience was that selling sex was still a very different experience than regular casual sex.

Maybe it'd be different under different circumstances. My experience was with occasional street prostitution, which is probably among the most degrading kinds of sex work for various reasons.

Mine is certainly not the only kind of experience out there though.

So were you able to separate yourself from the act under a financial arrangement but return to yourself at whim to maintain a healthy sex life?
I’ve read somewhere that a lot of women turn completely off from sex during their years working because they found that difficult.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a healthy view of myself sexually, which probably made meaningless sex easier.

 

[JessFR]

Something else that I'm not sure has been brought up here. Regarding feeling judged by other people I mean.

I'll talk to an extent about my experiences here on bluelight, because I know there are lots of other people who've also done lots of other really shitty things cause of their addiction.

But outside the drug world, with people I know in real life. I don't talk much about what I did to pay for my habit.

Not just because of concerns about being judged, but also simply because I don't want them to know. I don't want my family or close friends to know. Even if I know they wouldn't judge me

 

[Zephyn]

I told my mom I had seen a sex worker and our relationship has certainly become strained

 

[JessFR]

So were you able to separate yourself from the act under a financial arrangement but return to yourself at whim to maintain a healthy sex life?
I’ve read somewhere that a lot of women turn completely off from sex during their years working because they found that difficult.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a healthy view of myself sexually, which probably made meaningless sex easier.

Honestly no. I think it's difficult to keep experiences with sex work from affecting experiences in regular relationship. I wouldn't say I had an entirely healthy relationship with sex to start with either, which further complicates things.

 

[Meth novice 79]

Honestly no. I think it's difficult to keep experiences with sex work from affecting experiences in regular relationship. I wouldn't say I had an entirely healthy relationship with sex to start with either, which further complicates things.

All I can say is, you’re one tough chick JessFR.
Definitely no shame in surviving.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I feel bad for them. It is very sad when a woman, man, or whoever gets into prostitution or is forced into it, or does it as a means of survival to avoid being homeless, support a hard drug addiction, or because they feel they have no self worth, other options, have narcissistic personality disorder or other mental health issues, or out of desperation.

A lot of prostitutes even in countries or places where prostitution is legal, decriminalised, or legally tolerated in certain areas of a city, town, etc. are trafficked, forced into it, have pimps/madam, or give most of their earnings to the owner of a brothel, etc.

The prostitutes and former prostitutes and strippers I know and am friends with said it was by far the worst 'job' or 'work' they ever did. The clients made their skin crawl, it is basically legalised rape/sexual abuse as the clients will force them to do sex acts that they do not consent to, and many clients or tricks will rob them, try to not pay them, or manipulate them into charging less. Prostitution is also super dangerous and even in countries and places where it is legal, tolerated in prostitution zones, decriminalised, etc. the punters beat up, rob, and rape the prostitutes, or force them to have unsafe sex, etc. A lot of prostitutes or former prostitutes have been forced into it underage and/or sexually abused as children, or teens.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Certainly so in the US due to it being illegal and especially so with streetwalkers. Far less the case in Australia where it is legal and women work from their homes, in hotels, or in brothels. I’ve never in my life encountered a pimp and most of the working women I know are managed by another but much older women. There are certainly men in the industry though either as investors in brothels, security, drivers etc. And I’m sure that many women in the business have parasitic ‘boyfriends’ who live off their earnings. But that is a situation you see in other walks of life too. Amongst addicts I see more women supporting men than I do men supporting women.

I also rarely encounter full-on junky sex workers in Australia. 20 years ago there were streetwalkers who basically lived from next trick to next heroin shot and there were shady guys around then. But since de-criminalisation and the treatment of addiction as a public health issue that’s all been cleaned up. The internet helped too because women could connect with clients more easily and safely. The worst drug use I see is smoking ice and that seems mainly as a way to get through a 12 hour shift in a job you don’t like same as it is for many people on BL in other industries. I have not met an injecting sex worker for more than a decade. Although when I was an IV user none ever had a problem with me doing it in the room.

In fact given that Australia is a welfare state it is surprising the number of sex workers who do not have drug problems forcing them into that work. A woman has access to many government services before sex work is her only option to survive.

Those other women managers or madams, or brothel managers are the pimps.

The government also takes away earnings of €$£ via taxes, so it is like a pimp in that way.