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Men's feelings about sex workers

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I've been looking for this very thread, and I don't have time to read it right now, my "escort" is waiting for me impatiently. This is a reminder to myself where to find it.
 
albertosal said:
When I was a stripper/escort, my boyfriend at the time suggested I become a stripper, so that way we would have plenty of money to support both our habit. He eventually pushed me into the escort part of it.

I don't think I would've considered dating anyone else really. I think you're right. Because while a person is strung out, they do whatever it takes to make damn sure they will have the money for the fix. I loved my dude at that time. Now that I'm older looking back on it, I'm sure he just needed me to make the money so he could stay high, and he didn't care if I was putting my body or life on the line. He would hit me if I wouldn't go to work. But he was also an addict, so his mentality I'm sure, was " do whatever it takes."

But I could totally see that being a really difficult thing for someone to deal with.

My current boyfriend struggles with the fact that I used to do that. But he's also a totally normal dude, who doesn't have any experience with the desperation that comes with an addiction. I'm really in love with him, and I'm trying to see it from his side, like why exactly it's a struggle for him, if it's affecting his pride, etc.

Do you think that just as it's hard for a lover to imagine your lover with anyone else, it's harder when you consider the fact that the sex worker had meaningless sex with a number of people? And the fact that prostitution is taboo in the first place?

I will say I really regret that I did that. I think it did end up showing me that sex is something to be shard with someone you love, that it's important to make that connection with someone who truly means something to you, and that it can really be a sacred beautiful thing. I'm just scared that no one will ever be able to get over that part of my life, just as I've been struggling to reconcile with it myself.
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That makes me angry, on your behalf. You know, why didnt your boyfriend prostitute himself? If he wasnt charming or good looking enough that women would pay for his company, theres always gay old men looking for a fresh pair of cheeks. The fact that he would force you into that is just unacceptable, I hope you know that for the future.

My mom used to be a stripper, she was when she met my dad. I always thought that was awesome, my dad married a stripper. But she really enjoyed it, she really likes dancing/yoga and stuff like that so to her it was just dancing without clothes.
 
Anyway to answer your question, my instict is that I dont like the idea of prostitution.. but I really try to get over that cause I do know the desperation of drug use and also I understand with low wages these days some people just want a way out, a way to be free.. so how can I blame them for taking the only route avaliable to them? I know very few people grow up wanting to sell their bodies so I try to understand, try to overcome my instincts... I think I would consider dating an ex sex worker... every individual has their challenges in life, who am I to act all high and mighty?
 
Pickledlemons said:
Anyway to answer your question, my instict is that I dont like the idea of prostitution.. but I really try to get over that cause I do know the desperation of drug use and also I understand with low wages these days some people just want a way out, a way to be free.. so how can I blame them for taking the only route avaliable to them? I know very few people grow up wanting to sell their bodies so I try to understand, try to overcome my instincts... I think I would consider dating an ex sex worker... every individual has their challenges in life, who am I to act all high and mighty?
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I don't like prostitution either.

Do what I do, don't blame the sex workers, blame the customers. :D
 
Was it because I said EX-sex worker? Thats not out of principle, I just say that cause I'm a pretty sensitive and emotional person and I know I wouldnt be able to handle that. I would feel the same way if I had a partner that bought sex...
 
I have never been in a (serious) relationship with a sex worker, but find it'd be pretty shitty to judge someone on that basis.
 
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albertosal said:
I couldn't agree with you more. And my current boyfriend is nothing like him. I'm just scared that I'm not good enough for him I guess. He really struggles with every aspect of my past, and still watches me struggle trying not to use.

It can't really be easy for anyone in relationships like that I guess. Especially not for a normal person with an addict who did many unsavory things and still tries daily to stay away from it. But really, don't worry about offending me. Wow, the things that have been said to me in the past (a couple just popped in)were truly devastating. So I'm really a pretty tough girl. But you didn't say anything to offend whatsoever, I appreciate the kind words. I'm in need of support right now and I'm grateful to find it here!
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I wish you the best and that you have a great future with your new man, and that he gets past your past, sometimes we just need to put our past behind us, I know it's easier said than done, it's all we can do.
 
albertosal said:
This is all really good to know. I haven't stripped or turned a trick in over 10 years, but to this day it's something that haunts me. And it really is mainly because I'm afraid that I will be seen as less than human.

My current dude has had problems with it since I told him, but it does seem like he's starting to let it go more and more. I will say that since he's not a junkie, by addiction has definitely been the main problem lately... not surprising really.

I totally appreciate all the feedback though, sometimes those experiences make you feel extremely alone and it means the world that people can be kind and supportive of someone else's trauma.

Yall are great.
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You are not less than human, you sound like a good hearted person, no one is perfect, the thing is to get past your mistakes, I know it's hard because I have things that hurt me really bad when I think about them, to the point where I wish I was never born, but then there are good things in my life that I'm glad I'm still on this Earth.
 
tubgirl.jpg said:
Fucking awesome to hear.
I turned to kratom for a few months, I have to admit though.

I'm off opiates, but stuck on Valium. But that's my "methadone" - it's what got me out of the house after over a year of isolation and paranoia, terror and anxiety. I'm ok with being addicted to that shit. I don't abuse it. I don't get high - I just function.
So I understand what you mean.

Keep it up Jess, you're a fucking role model for people who wants to get out of the game.
Hearing stories such as yours breaks my heart and mends it at the same time.

Stay safe :)
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Jess is a great woman.
 
So the original question was
albertosal said:
I'm curious how men feel about women who while in their addiction, ended up being sex workers out of necessity.
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I'm also curious because I've known strippers addicted to marijuana who I'd sometimes get product from. I've never known any sex workers outside strip clubs or intimately enough to know if they used any drugs. I personally don't care what drugs people do as long as they look relatively normal and don't act weird around me, but marijuana is still a drug and I think people might ignore it as an addiction; it's still an expensive habit
 
I had a 15 month relationship with a working girl but she just got used me up.
One argument we had was a classic as I would pick her up from work, also most times booking her for her last 2 hours and paying Obv.
Our Sex was unreal but I made the mistake booking 2 overnights back to back.
 
Crjskr said:
I had a 15 month relationship with a working girl but she just got used me up.
One argument we had was a classic as I would pick her up from work, also most times booking her for her last 2 hours and paying Obv.
Our Sex was unreal but I made the mistake booking 2 overnights back to back.
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She was too tired but still wanted same $$ haha.
I paid upfront each time but gave up on 2 nights in a row
Just book another lady as worked way better.
Never had a problem paying and have always paid last 5 years
We are all equal Never thought any less of any of the ladies
All good Respect & Understanding to all working Ladies.😜
 
I don't see sex workers anymore, because I tend to develop feelings for them (same goes for normal casual sex, which i avoid as well), and this usually, actually always ends badly (not for the casual sex but for other reasons i.e. ruined friendships) for a number of different reasons. Its a BAD idea to get romantically interested in a prostitute, and many of them prefer to avoid that sort of thing for their own reasons anyway. I've found most always they are independent, not supporting a serious drug problem, putting themselves through college or supporting a child. Of the few times I did it, I often felt awkward or guilty about it and just offered them a massage. Get paid to get a massage pretty good deal
 
Zephyn said:
I don't see sex workers anymore, because I tend to develop feelings for them (same goes for normal casual sex, which i avoid as well), and this usually, actually always ends badly (not for the casual sex but for other reasons i.e. ruined friendships) for a number of different reasons. Its a BAD idea to get romantically interested in a prostitute, and many of them prefer to avoid that sort of thing for their own reasons anyway. I've found most always they are independent, not supporting a serious drug problem, putting themselves through college or supporting a child. Of the few times I did it, I often felt awkward or guilty about it and just offered them a massage. Get paid to get a massage pretty good deal
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But as I originally stated, what if it was an EX sex worker? I've been out of it for 10 years now, and I'm trying to settle down, I just don't know if any man would be OK with my past as such. I am monogamous and loyal, if I'm with you I don't want anyone else, I've just been put into extraordinary situations during my deepest points of drug addiction that brought me to that place.

I just hope I'm not seen as damaged or unworthy of a caring and normal relationship..
 
LordOfThisWorld said:
I wish you the best and that you have a great future with your new man, and that he gets past your past, sometimes we just need to put our past behind us, I know it's easier said than done, it's all we can do.
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I appreciate it. Unfortunately, he's leaving me. Not only because of my past, though that definitely plays a big part in it...
 
albertosal said:
But as I originally stated, what if it was an EX sex worker? I've been out of it for 10 years now, and I'm trying to settle down, I just don't know if any man would be OK with my past as such. I am monogamous and loyal, if I'm with you I don't want anyone else, I've just been put into extraordinary situations during my deepest points of drug addiction that brought me to that place.

I just hope I'm not seen as damaged or unworthy of a caring and normal relationship..
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I also dated an ex sex worker, which is a lot of what I was referring to and it was a horrible idea. I found out multiple times she was still doing it, for no good reason or necessity not even drug related. Stds were a constant concern

I am sure people can change though, I wouldn't hold it against a new prospective partner if it were a thing of the past.
 
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