Are you wanting to be done with tramadol altogether Supersonic? May I ask why if you are so? ( I hope I haven't asked this already, lol my memory is a bit hazy at the moment lolol). I don't think I ever could have stopped tramadol. The only thing that stopped me even after about 12 years now is being cut off from them. lol Buprenorphine has been a major help too. It helps give me a vague semblance of my tramadol days. But I think tramadol has the power to be more euphoric than buprenorphine. Some of my FONDEST memories EVER were being high on trams back in my early 20's. Oh man, words can't describe it. lol It was like beautiful sunshine beating down on me all day. I became totally manic with music on it too, I just could NOT get enough music!!! lol trams + music use to be my ultimate get away from reality heaven. Always burning holes in shit from nodding out, that's how strong trams use to be on me back then. Then later heroin became my magical get away. And now i'm stuck with shitty buprenorphine.

lol
I'm not sure about those nurses there. My doctor seems pretty cool. It did take me 4 years to convince her to give me a benzo for my anxiety, but I can understand my doctors fear. She works with a lot of addicts and I'm sure a lot of them do stupid shit mixing their drugs. But I've made it a point to be honest with my doctor and the only thing I've ever really peed dirty for was weed. I told her straight up that i've never had a benzo problem or anything. And one day I went in for an appt and my blood pressure was in the heart attack / stroke territory. But I was also incredibly anxious that day (I get agoraphobia and anxiety from public places) and so I told my doctor that the blood pressure meds she had me on for anxiety weren't working for my anxiety and that it was probably important for me to be on a benzo at this point. And she agreed. I asked to just take them "as needed" to avoid dependence but she told me she's rather I take them daily. At first I was apprehensive, but I had always used benzos in the past intermittently (like for aborting bad trips or coming down off meth) and some times even used them days in a row & never noticed any withdrawals. Or at least nothing like opiate withdrawals. But now that I've started taking them as recommended, I've noticed a withdrawal and dependence. And you are right the rebound anxiety is incredible. Some times it feels like I'm gonna have a seizure unless I get a klonopin in me quick. Wasn't expecting to end up with a benzo dependence. So I'm not sure about that place, but it's imperative to me now that they don't fuck me over cause I've never quite experienced full blown benzo withdrawal like I have opioid withdrawal. Some how I was able to avoid it for the past 20 years of using drugs. Never really thought benzos felt "fun" anyways. Some times they can be pretty dysphoric and the sedation feels more irritating and brain dumbing, nothing like opiate sedation or euphoric bliss.
Thanks man.

My mom is a warrior & I think I might be too. lol I definitely wasn't able to handle taking care of her for the past year without drugs. I lived with my mom for a long time. lol Me & my mom went through hell together in my 20's together. And it's pretty different now having her live further away. Anyway, I should quit rambling and try to wake up some more. lol Hang in there Supersonic.

Cheers and have a great one man!