So I was extremely nervous before the phone call. I was at first reading everything from sheets of paper, I wrote two pages with size 8 font, so there was a lot of reading. I was really scared at first, then my reading out loud wasn't so bad, but after a couple of minutes I started to stutter a bit and my voice cracked, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be though. The therapist was quite understanding, but I felt like she was being a little cold towards me, but that may be because she's a professionalist and she didn't want to show her emotions. She said that there's definitely a problem, especially with doctors misdiagnosing me which caused me a lot of trouble. To my surprise, my speech wasn't so bad when I talked to her, that was really, really weird. She noticed that, because I told her I'm extremely dumb after this drug, so she said that if she didn't know about my illness, she wouldn't have ever thought that I have such problems with speech and said that my statements were very logical. She asked me if it's tough talking to her, I said it's extremely tough. I explained that if I talk to my family I don't really know what to say and that I say a few words at most, but when I try to talk to her (therapist) or my psychiatrist, I tend to pretend that I'm not so mentally ill, I subconsciously try to look healthy, because I'm scared of what other people think of me, so even when it's extremely difficult for me to talk, I try to act like there's not so much problem, because I'm scared of being judged and I'm ashamed of my problems with speech and stupidity. Of course when we spoke for about 20-30 minutes already, I started to lose my words etc, I was getting more dumb with time, because my brain was sick of trying to look normal. She agreed that I probably am right about my hypothesis, but in the end she said that I need a therapist "face to face" and that phone calls will not be enough for me, she's from a city far distant from mine, so I can't visit her personally. She said that my psychiatrist seems like a really nice and trustful person, so I can ask her for some therapist around my place. I was looking around the Internet for a therapist around me and haven't found a single person that would admit patients face to face, so I have to stick to Skype with a camera, so a person can see my face and my emotions. A friend of mine recommended me a really good therapist from around my area, I called her yesterday and looked at her profile on the Internet, she really seems like a good and wise person, so I'll have an online chat on Friday or Monday.