What does your doctor feel a about you taking them as and when rather than every night? It's saving them up that worries me if I'm told to take one when required than every night. Also sorry to hear about your PTSD I too think I have that and it's a horrible thing. I'm here if you need to talk I'm going through a bad time. Also I have a long history of alcohol and drug abuse so I'm really paranoid. I'm also trying to get 8 cocodomals only on 4 but have been taking 8 but now it's 2 paracetamol then 2 cocodomals 4 hours later then 2 cocodomal after. Ideally 7 zopiclone and an extra 4 cocodomal would all I'd want buy due to my drug abuse I have been getting knock backs for 4 extra cocodomal. I don't drink or abuse illicit drugs anymore and need these drugs.
I truly appreciate that man. Seeing death in real life changed my perspective on the world but I have spent the last decade regrouping and am in a much better place. I am always here to talk as well brother!
I lucked out with my Psychiatrist and we have full transparency. In the US, although I am prescribed 30 of the Temazepam and 60 of the Clonazepam, both are labeled "take as needed". I am very open with her and she is actually proud of me when I go a few days without them. She was the one who originally informed me that nightly use might make long-term insomnia worse. In the past 6 months I have went from my full 4MG of Clonazepam to 1-3MG a day depending. The past week was 1MG daily!
If you truly are passed the point of wanting to be an "addict" (hate that word, especially in cases where we are getting therapeutic benefits from drugs that we become addicted to), I would not worry about "stockpiling". The PTSD and chronic pain do sometimes make me consider taking my own life but I have never once went back and abused extra meds.
I truly feel for you man and understand your position. I can tell you just want peace and fear it may be taken from you. I am unsure if you are subjected to monthly urinalysis but that alone should show you are not abusing anything and can be trusted. The fact you are given a monthly supply of Diazepam says everything! Just this specific sleeping med seems to have high risks and they tend to avoid monthly scripts even here.
In terms of your chronic pain... man that is my real battle. It seems my mental health deteriorates the worst on days I can't control it. You are prescribed the co-codamol? I just learned from a Moderator that DHC is a form of Codeine and is legally obtainable in the UK. I am not entirely sure how a urinalysis reads it but instead of running out of pain medication early, the DHC might be able to help you with your pain! I am not knowledgeable on Dihydrocodeine and am reading up on it but if Codeine helps your pain it seems that DHC would also help and maybe even moreso! If you use the medications just to treat your pain, anxiety and insomnia and not to seek any euphoria then you will never have to worry about that mental addiction again. Our past demons do not have to come to light in the future brother!
Again, I am here to talk whenever man. I chose to reduce my Benzo intake to cut down on tolerance and it worked tremendously! If possible, try taking slightly less than normal just to reduce tolerance and also so you have the peace of mind knowing you will never be without anything! Please don't hesitate to reach out man. Life hit me hard and I can tell it has done the same to you but I can also tell you are a fighter. Saving a few pills monthly does not mean we are doing so to binge. Again brother we are in control and I have faith in you. I hope somebody else has a bit more knowledge on DHC to determine if it would help you and possibly reduce the need for your co-codamal. You got this man!