cj
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2008
- Messages
- 9,823
H
I've been working so much lately. 35 hours last week and 45 hours this week. It's great but I am ducking exhausted. Not used to this at all
Crazy how when shot goes bad in addiction it goes very very badgood luck opi! are you going to rehab after your detox? (over here detox and rehab facilities are often separate as detox is in hospital)
i'm settling into my new house though can't wait to get my bed cos i'm not sleeping too well and i'm sure not being comfortable isn't helping.
all my towels, which came straight from my old house where i was using to here, stink. i couldn't understand it at first cos i knew i did loads of laundry cos of how i was making money. then i remembered one of the worst days in my life. i don't know how long i'd been awake but i'd not slept the night before, and it started at 7am when i put some laundry in, and realised, i'd been using water softener as laundry detergent, and that's why my things had started to smell (i'd noticed this and not understood it since i was washing them). this guy i'd let stay over had used all mine and replaced it with an approximately similar box of not soap. then i managed to drop it on the floor, and drop my last pipe in with the white powder, so it was gone. then i accidentally texted my mum a rant about that instead of a friend.
then, i tried to rip a guy off cos i badly needed more money than he was gonna give me, and got nothing. then i went home, figured i should eat while i hadn't smoked for a bit so it was possible. managed to touch my eyes and face with chilli sauce on my hands and that killed for an hour. got 30 quid, went to score. was speeding down a hill on my bike thinking only about one thing, then saw a car coming up. braked, went over the handlebars, grazed myself badly and smashed my phone so couldn't score. got home. luckily someone knocked on me with a free sample of dark. borrowed his phone so i could try to make some money. arranged to make some money. his phone died 5 mins before the guy was gonna arrive, so made no money. called my best friend begging to borrow some money, he went on a massive rant at me about only calling when i want something. which was true. i got fed up of him ranting so just told him i didn't need his money i'd just go to get money in the red light district. at which point he transferred me the money, he didn't know i was prostituting myself anyway. then used the wrong card so i couldn't get the 30 quid, and thought it\d broken in my fall. frantically go round trying to find someone with a phone and bank card so i can get the money transferred and withdraw it. finally find someone after midnight. a direct debit has gone out and the £30 is gone. in desperation swap a whole strip of clonazepam for the tiniest pipe ever, then resign myself to not scoring and go to sleep.
i do not miss that life.
I've been working so much lately. 35 hours last week and 45 hours this week. It's great but I am ducking exhausted. Not used to this at all