leet
Bluelighter
Last edited:
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers - Top Dog
- Thread starter leet
- Start date
leet
Bluelighter
Gold Subscribers only - BONUS MATERIAL
FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
Deleted episodes of:
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:3
Part 2 of 4
For Even More RESPECT
Let's play:
The deleted episodes of
LECTURE TITLE:
WIN yet more RESPECT by being the BEST at:
TOP DOG DELETED EPISODE:
Match the crime to the face. Who from the following:
1. IS A PEDO NONCE?
2. BATTERED A PREGNANT WOMAN THEN SET FIRE TO THE HOUSE SHE WAS HIDING IN?
3. IS INNOCENT OF ALL CHARGES?
4. A ROBBER?
See? EASY.
WHICH ONE IS:
FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
Deleted episodes of:
Welcome to
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:3
Part 2 of 4
For Even More RESPECT
Let's play:
The deleted episodes of
TOP DOG
PRISON UNIVERSITY
LECTURE#2
LOCATION:
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
LECTURE HALL
PRISON IS A PLACE TO LEARN
PRISON UNIVERSITY
LECTURE#2
LOCATION:
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
LECTURE HALL
PRISON IS A PLACE TO LEARN
LECTURE TITLE:
"CRIMINALS ARE A REVERSION TO A SUBHUMAN
CHARACTERIZED BY PHYSICAL FEATURES REMINISCENT OF APES"
WIN yet more RESPECT by being the BEST at:
TOP DOG DELETED EPISODE:
LECTURE#2
IN
CRIMINAL ANTHROPOLOGY
IN
CRIMINAL ANTHROPOLOGY
Match the crime to the face. Who from the following:
1. IS A PEDO NONCE?
2. BATTERED A PREGNANT WOMAN THEN SET FIRE TO THE HOUSE SHE WAS HIDING IN?
3. IS INNOCENT OF ALL CHARGES?
4. A ROBBER?
See? EASY.
WHICH ONE IS:
LIAM
?
ROBERT
?
ROBERT
?
TOM
?
?
SI
?
?
Maximize your
RESPECT
And yes, you'll be the intellectual dog
EDUCATION
OPENS DOORS
&
OPENS MINDS
RESPECT
And yes, you'll be the intellectual dog
EDUCATION
OPENS DOORS
&
OPENS MINDS
Last edited:
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
The trick is noone is innocent.... both si and tom are robbers, Robert is pedo scum..... and liam is the woman beating arsonist.
mal3volent
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2011
- Messages
- 39,988
^i didn't know trickery was part of the game? what type of sleuthing skills did you employ?
Robert is clearly the pedo nonce...he grew his beard out and became extra fat... all so he could get Santa jobs every December. Bouncing all those kids on his knee. Fuckin sick.
Tom is innocent of all charges. He was in a pub when a fight broke out. Someone broke a glass and started swinging it at people. He tried to neutralize the crazy drunk guy, but when the cops arrived he was pegged as the aggressor.
Liam got into an argument with his girlfriend. After punching the fuck out of her, she somehow managed to get the mace out of her purse and spray him. She went to hide at her sisters but the little shit knew that's where she'd go, and threw a Molotov cocktail through the spare bedroom window.
SI is a fucking prick. One of those guys you can't stand being around for more than five minutes. He was behind on his rent so he robbed the gas station right across the street. He used a toy gun he got his son for Christmas, one of those that looks like it came from the Wild West. It had orange on the tip and everything. Fucking idiot.
Robert is clearly the pedo nonce...he grew his beard out and became extra fat... all so he could get Santa jobs every December. Bouncing all those kids on his knee. Fuckin sick.
Tom is innocent of all charges. He was in a pub when a fight broke out. Someone broke a glass and started swinging it at people. He tried to neutralize the crazy drunk guy, but when the cops arrived he was pegged as the aggressor.
Liam got into an argument with his girlfriend. After punching the fuck out of her, she somehow managed to get the mace out of her purse and spray him. She went to hide at her sisters but the little shit knew that's where she'd go, and threw a Molotov cocktail through the spare bedroom window.
SI is a fucking prick. One of those guys you can't stand being around for more than five minutes. He was behind on his rent so he robbed the gas station right across the street. He used a toy gun he got his son for Christmas, one of those that looks like it came from the Wild West. It had orange on the tip and everything. Fucking idiot.
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
Match the crime to the face. Who from the following:
1. IS A PEDO NONCE?
2. BATTERED A PREGNANT WOMAN THEN SET FIRE TO THE HOUSE SHE WAS HIDING IN?
3. IS INNOCENT OF ALL CHARGES?
4. A ROBBER?
He never said there had to be one of each, just gave options. Maybe they're all innocent, or pedos, never said it couldn't be the case.... and look at that avatar fella just reeks of a little mischief lol.
1. IS A PEDO NONCE?
2. BATTERED A PREGNANT WOMAN THEN SET FIRE TO THE HOUSE SHE WAS HIDING IN?
3. IS INNOCENT OF ALL CHARGES?
4. A ROBBER?
He never said there had to be one of each, just gave options. Maybe they're all innocent, or pedos, never said it couldn't be the case.... and look at that avatar fella just reeks of a little mischief lol.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Liam is innocent - kid doesn't even know where he is.
SI battered the pregnant woman - he thinks it's fucking hilarious, even after the fact.
Robert is the pedo - Popped off boners in his santa suit at local malls.
Tom is the robber - Charming, but slick.
SI battered the pregnant woman - he thinks it's fucking hilarious, even after the fact.
Robert is the pedo - Popped off boners in his santa suit at local malls.
Tom is the robber - Charming, but slick.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Liam is innocent... well, of the three charges listed. He's guilty of a DUI.
Tom is the woman batterer and arsonist. He's long had an abusive streak, and when his ex-girlfriend (who barely escaped him) got married and got pregnany, he thought "if I can't have her, no one can!", beat the shit out of her and set her house on fire.
SI is the robber. He fancies himself a real Ocean's Eleven type and wanted to make sure to look at cocky as possible while being led into prison.
So yeah, Robert is definitely the pedo. He was never a mall Santa though, he dressed up as Santa on Christmas Eve night and broke into a child's bedroom and asked the child to touch Santa's meat stick for an extra present.
Tom is the woman batterer and arsonist. He's long had an abusive streak, and when his ex-girlfriend (who barely escaped him) got married and got pregnany, he thought "if I can't have her, no one can!", beat the shit out of her and set her house on fire.
SI is the robber. He fancies himself a real Ocean's Eleven type and wanted to make sure to look at cocky as possible while being led into prison.
So yeah, Robert is definitely the pedo. He was never a mall Santa though, he dressed up as Santa on Christmas Eve night and broke into a child's bedroom and asked the child to touch Santa's meat stick for an extra present.
leet
Bluelighter
Prison University Lecture #2 RESULTS
FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
Deleted episodes of:
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:2
There was an element of DECEPTION in the line up as NONE of the line-up were in fact INNNOCENT OF ALL CHARGES as stated.
How did our students fare?
BPTUBBS scored 100% = FOUR CREDITS
RESPECT!
MAL3VOLENT scored 75% = THREE CREDITS
RESPECT!
MADNESS00 & SHADOWMEISTER all scored 50% = TWO CREDIT EACH
RESPECT!
MR. TUBBS is VALEDICTORIAN
RESPECT!
MAGNA CUM LAUDE student MR. VOLENT
RESPECT!
CUM LAUDE students MR. MEISTER & MR. 00
Tip top stuff gentlemen!
N.B. Additional credits to be awarded before the FINALS for some superlative character analysis
PRISON UNIVERSITY
WHAT WILL YOU BE?
FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
Deleted episodes of:
Welcome to
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Difficulty level:2
TOP DOG
PRISON UNIVERSITY
LECTURE#2
EXAMINATION RESULTS:
LIAM EDWARDS
ARSONIST
BATTERED HIS PARTNER WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT
SET FIRE TO THE FRONT AND BACK DOOR OF THE HOUSE SHE HAD ESCAPED TO WITH THEIR CHILDREN
27 MONTHS
ROBERT DAVIES
PEDO NONCE
WANTED TO RAPE A BABY
JUDGE DESCRIBED HIM AS A "DEPRAVED PEDOPHILE"
45 MONTHS
TOM BELL
ROBBER
HELD UP TEENAGE BOYS
SAID HE HAD A KNIFE
14 MONTHS
SIMON PAUL JONES
ROBBER
ARMED WITH A KNIFE HE HELD UP HIS LOCAL STORE
THEY RECOGNISED HIM AS USED THE SHOP DAILY
AND HAD BEEN INTERVIEWED FOR A JOB THERE THE WEEK BEFORE
BIT THE ARRESTING POLICE OFFICE ON THE EAR AND BROKE HIS WATCH
TWO PREVIOUS CONVICTIONS FOR ROBBERY
54 MONTHS
PRISON UNIVERSITY
LECTURE#2
EXAMINATION RESULTS:
LIAM EDWARDS
ARSONIST
BATTERED HIS PARTNER WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT
SET FIRE TO THE FRONT AND BACK DOOR OF THE HOUSE SHE HAD ESCAPED TO WITH THEIR CHILDREN
27 MONTHS
ROBERT DAVIES
PEDO NONCE
WANTED TO RAPE A BABY
JUDGE DESCRIBED HIM AS A "DEPRAVED PEDOPHILE"
45 MONTHS
TOM BELL
ROBBER
HELD UP TEENAGE BOYS
SAID HE HAD A KNIFE
14 MONTHS
SIMON PAUL JONES
ROBBER
ARMED WITH A KNIFE HE HELD UP HIS LOCAL STORE
THEY RECOGNISED HIM AS USED THE SHOP DAILY
AND HAD BEEN INTERVIEWED FOR A JOB THERE THE WEEK BEFORE
BIT THE ARRESTING POLICE OFFICE ON THE EAR AND BROKE HIS WATCH
TWO PREVIOUS CONVICTIONS FOR ROBBERY
54 MONTHS
There was an element of DECEPTION in the line up as NONE of the line-up were in fact INNNOCENT OF ALL CHARGES as stated.
CHEATING
and
LIES
are the
TOOLS
of a
CRIMINAL
BEWARE!
and
LIES
are the
TOOLS
of a
CRIMINAL
BEWARE!
How did our students fare?
BPTUBBS scored 100% = FOUR CREDITS
RESPECT!
MAL3VOLENT scored 75% = THREE CREDITS
RESPECT!
MADNESS00 & SHADOWMEISTER all scored 50% = TWO CREDIT EACH
RESPECT!
MR. TUBBS is VALEDICTORIAN
RESPECT!
MAGNA CUM LAUDE student MR. VOLENT
RESPECT!
CUM LAUDE students MR. MEISTER & MR. 00
Tip top stuff gentlemen!
N.B. Additional credits to be awarded before the FINALS for some superlative character analysis
PRISON UNIVERSITY
WHAT WILL YOU BE?
Last edited:
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
Hehehehe.... leet mate, this is damn fun
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Damn tubbs, you're at 100% across both classes. Are you in league with SENIOR PRISON WARDEN FULTON MACKAY? Who I suspect is leet? I smell a rat...
mal3volent
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2011
- Messages
- 39,988
We are all just characters in LEET'S dream. When he wakes up, we all die. Then reborn into a different simulation the next time he falls asleep.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Not me I'm a bot.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
bptubbs clearly reverse engineered the pictures to find out who's who.
But I knew for damn sure Tom was the robber. Charming, slick, rob yah blind.
But I knew for damn sure Tom was the robber. Charming, slick, rob yah blind.
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
Lol, actually I googled the first name, the crime, and then liverpool, then Wales.... pops em up lol
Tubbs
Bluelight Crew
This is true, he is AI become sentient.... xorkbot was a rousing success.
Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
Oh shit tubbs got dem street smarts what's necessary for criminaling.
leet
Bluelighter
Ep #7 New Arrivals - THE LOWDOWN
Ready?
Which of the following NEW DOGS is secretly PORK and are any of them worth RECRUITING?
NOW LETS SEE WHO IS
Welcome to H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS!
TOP DOG
Results for:
Episode #7 - That dog is a mongrel
and
Bonus Mission #7 - Whistle for the dog
TOP DOG
Results for:
Episode #7 - That dog is a mongrel
and
Bonus Mission #7 - Whistle for the dog
Ready?
Which of the following NEW DOGS is secretly PORK and are any of them worth RECRUITING?
DAVID JENKINS
TOP GUY!
CONVICTED FOR DEALING IN STEROIDS
TRUCK LOADS OF THEM!
HEAD OF A GANG THAT IMPORTED TWO MILLION POUNDS OF RAW STEROIDS
BASHED THEM UP AND PUNTED THEM OUT
THE OPERATION WAS SO SUCCESSFUL, THE FILTH "DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE"
IT ONLY COLLAPSED BECAUSE OF A GRASS
MASOOD MASOURI
FOUL RAPIST NONCE
THIS PIECE OF FILTH NEEDS TO SLEEP WITH THE FISHES
ANTHONY LOWRY HUWS
BULLSEYE!
PEDOPHILE COPPER
PREYED ON LITTLE GIRLS AND LITTLE BOYS
TRIED FRAMING AN INNOCENT MAN FOR IT
ALSO HEAD OF A 22 MILLION POUND FRAUD
DIES HARD WITH A VENGEANCE
PLEASE!
WILLIAM FIGIEL
CONVICTED FOR DRIVING LIKE A MANIAC
&
POSSESSION OF A STUN GUN
BRAIN DEAD DICKHEAD
GOT A COLLECTION OF BB GUNS AT HOME IN HIS MUMS PLACE
MARK LEWIS
CONVICTED FOR BEING STABBY
RAN AROUND TOWN TOPLESS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT WAVING A MACHETE
STABBED THREE GUYS WHO OWED HIM MONEY
THEN GOT A TASTE FOR STABBING PEOPLE
HEY, COKE CAN GET YOU LIKE THAT SOMETIMES
MARTIN TATE
CONVICTED FOR ASSAULT
ALSO A GRASS
GIVES IT ALL THE BILLY BIG BOLLOCKS ACTING THE FUCKING HARD MAN ON THE OUTSIDE
CRUMBLES LIKE A DIGESTIVE BISCUIT ON ARREST
BUBBLES UP EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THEN SHITS HIMSELF IN JAIL
THE ORIGINAL STOOL PIGEON
"SNITCHES GET STITCHES"
TOP GUY!
CONVICTED FOR DEALING IN STEROIDS
TRUCK LOADS OF THEM!
HEAD OF A GANG THAT IMPORTED TWO MILLION POUNDS OF RAW STEROIDS
BASHED THEM UP AND PUNTED THEM OUT
THE OPERATION WAS SO SUCCESSFUL, THE FILTH "DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE"
IT ONLY COLLAPSED BECAUSE OF A GRASS
MASOOD MASOURI
FOUL RAPIST NONCE
THIS PIECE OF FILTH NEEDS TO SLEEP WITH THE FISHES
ANTHONY LOWRY HUWS
BULLSEYE!
PEDOPHILE COPPER
PREYED ON LITTLE GIRLS AND LITTLE BOYS
TRIED FRAMING AN INNOCENT MAN FOR IT
ALSO HEAD OF A 22 MILLION POUND FRAUD
DIES HARD WITH A VENGEANCE
PLEASE!
WILLIAM FIGIEL
CONVICTED FOR DRIVING LIKE A MANIAC
&
POSSESSION OF A STUN GUN
BRAIN DEAD DICKHEAD
GOT A COLLECTION OF BB GUNS AT HOME IN HIS MUMS PLACE
MARK LEWIS
CONVICTED FOR BEING STABBY
RAN AROUND TOWN TOPLESS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT WAVING A MACHETE
STABBED THREE GUYS WHO OWED HIM MONEY
THEN GOT A TASTE FOR STABBING PEOPLE
HEY, COKE CAN GET YOU LIKE THAT SOMETIMES
MARTIN TATE
CONVICTED FOR ASSAULT
ALSO A GRASS
GIVES IT ALL THE BILLY BIG BOLLOCKS ACTING THE FUCKING HARD MAN ON THE OUTSIDE
CRUMBLES LIKE A DIGESTIVE BISCUIT ON ARREST
BUBBLES UP EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THEN SHITS HIMSELF IN JAIL
THE ORIGINAL STOOL PIGEON
"SNITCHES GET STITCHES"
NOW LETS SEE WHO IS
TOP DOG
EPISODE #7
AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON DACHSHUND!
EPISODE #7
AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON DACHSHUND!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
Ep#7 Bonus Whistle for the dog
Whistle for the dog
LOOKING GOOD TOP DOG!
RESPECT!
TOP DOG
BONUS MISSION #7
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
THE PRISON SHOP
BONUS MISSION #7
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
THE PRISON SHOP
Whistle for the dog
LOOKING GOOD TOP DOG!
RESPECT!
leet
Bluelighter
Top Dog Episode #7 - RESULTS
THIS WEEK'S WINNER:
MAL3VOLENT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers TOP DOG!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 97
Looking like the DOGS BOLLOCKS = 6
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 4
Recruited MARK LEWIS = 5
Shanking PEDO BEAST MASOOD MASOURI = 5
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
University Undergraduate a.k.a.SMARTS = 4
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
UNLEASHED TOTAL TERROR = 3 + 1 for previous form
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
Refurbished HARDKNOCK GYM = 3
TOTAL RESPECT = 128
MAL3VOLENT prowls the jail like a MIGHTY JUNGLE BEAST
MAL3VOLENT got his first positive character reference ever in the national press, albeit page 5 - the lifestyle section, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. MAL3VOLENT also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.
TANGUY VIAD is so ON TREND right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.
So now they talk about MAL3VOLENT in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this MAL3VOLENT. Word is PRINCE HARRY has ordered the same suit as worn by MAL3VOLENT from BAD BOY TANGUY.
A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting MAL3VOLENT on Dragons Den, albeit in gold plated handcuffs.
BLOOD is on MAL3VOLENT hands, But he is THE BEST DRESSED CHICKEN IN TOWN
LOOKING LIKE THE MAN
MAL3VOLENT initially thought MARK LEWIS-JONES was filth, but a quick dekko at his file removed that doubt. MARK is a bloody handy chap with a blade, a right stabby cunt, who sniggers as he shanks you. MARK hero-worships MAL3VOLENT and if MAL3VOLENT occasionally chucks him a gram of pub dust and a bottle of Chateau Bluelight's finest, then MAL3VOLENT's wish is MARK's command.
MAL3VOLENT initially thought the MONSTER MASOOD would be an addition to his crew, he even accepted RESPECT from the MONSTER MASOOD.
This episode we saw the REVENGE OF THE TOP DOG unleashed! MAL3VOLENT made sure that the MONSTER MASOOD never forgot him, he would see to that. That was a morning well spent in the WELFARE OFFICE looking through the files! MAL3VOLENT will NOT have these wrong 'uns polluting his world.
The MONSTER MASOOD had a little accident this week, he fell down some stairs and his eye popped out. (That's his story anyway). He has been transferred to the VULNERABLE PERSONS UNIT and is due to be shipped out.
"LIKE LOOKING AT LITTTLE GIRLS DO YA?"
It's only a matter of time before MASOOD THE MONSTER gets turned off!
MAL3VOLENT is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about MAL3VOLENT immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
42%
MAL3VOLENT is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about MAL3VOLENT immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
22%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for MAL3VOLENT. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
For now though MAL3VOLENT is running roughshod all over the prison and DOPEY SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY can't even pin a minor rule violation on him!
MAL3VOLENT splits his time between the PRISON THEATRE with TINK who is GREEDY, SPOILED and DEPRAVED - MAL3VOLENT's favourite kind of TRAMP and the HARDKNOCK GYM with SCOUSE JOE - the WILDER the ACTION the ROUGHER the SEX the more MALE3VOLENT LOVES IT!.
As long as someone's nose ends up looking like a burst tomato MAL3VOLENT is happy.
A BRUTAL STORY OF MAYHEM AND MURDER, DRUGS AND DEGENERATE LUSTS
MADNESS00
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CAPO DI TUTTI I CAPI!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 73
Looking like the DOGS BOLLOCKS = 6
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 4
Recruited DAVID JENKINS = 10
Recruited MARK LEWIS = 5
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
University Undergraduate a.k.a.SMARTS = 4
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
Refurbished HARDKNOCK GYM = 3
TOTAL RESPECT = 105
MADNESS00 Born to be Bad!
MADNESS00 pulled some strings and his DOPEY MUG of a probation officer got him onto the CLEANING CREW before SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY could blink. MADNESS00 went through the records of the new intake while cleaning the WELFARE OFFICE and pulled the jacket on DAVID JENKINS and saw the future. A future with JENKS working as his right hand man.
Fucking JENKS knows his ANDROGEL from his ANDRODERM and had huge experience in bashing drugs and dealing efficiently with cash. After a short chat with MADNESS00, JENKS happily came on board as JUNIOR PARTNER and now spends most of his time in the PRISON CHAPEL doing really good works for MADNESS00 and JENKS personally looks after trembly old FATHER INZO, who seems to walk into doors, fall down stairs and tip boiling hot water over his genitals most days twice a day, he's really aged.
POOR OLD FATHER INZO.
MADNESS00 initially thought MARK LEWIS-JONES was filth, but a quick dekko at his file removed that doubt. MARK is a bloody handy chap with a blade, a right stabby cunt, who sniggers as he shanks you. MARK hero-worships MADNESS00 and if MADNESS00 occasionally chucks him a gram of pub dust and a bottle of Chateau Bluelight's finest, then MADNESS00's wish is MARK's command.
MADNESS00 got his first positive character reference ever in the national press, albeit page 5 - the lifestyle section, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. MADNESS00 also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.
TANGUY VIAD is so ON TREND right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.
So now they talk about MADNESS00 in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this MADNESS00. Word is PRINCE HARRY has ordered the same underwear as worn by MADNESS00 from BAD BOY TANGUY.
A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting MADNESS00 on Dragons Den, albeit in palladium plated handcuffs.
BLOOD is on MADNESS00 hands, But he is THE BEST DRESSED CHICKEN IN TOWN
MADNESS00 is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about MADNESS00 immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
45%
MADNESS00 is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about MADNESS00 immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
27%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for MADNESS00. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
MADNESS00 HIS IS A LIFE OF THUNDER AND FURY, A LIFE OF PASSION AND PAIN
MADNESS00 is a LONE WOLF and he's going to be the TOP DOG
RESPECT!
BPTUBBS
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers THE MAN!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 80
Caught with knickers down = -3
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
Expelled from PRISON UNIVERSITY = 3
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
Branded a CHEAT = 3
Business as Usual ABDU = 5
Business as Usual ALEX = 4
Refurbished HARDKNOCK GYM = 3
TOTAL RESPECT = 95
BPTUBBS, he was YOUNG and HANDSOME but his TRICKS were OLD and DIRTY!
BPTUBBS and his crew ABDURRAOUF ESHATI and ALEX WILLIAMS were in THE LIBRARY and BPTUBBS was bragging about what an easy time it was in PRISON UNIVERSITY if you were SMART like he was. They all failed to notice a uniformed figure lurking behind them - SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY who overheard:
Aaaaaand as prisoners do not have LEGAL access to the internet BPTUBBS was put on LOCKDOWN in THE HOLE for the rest of the week after boasting about his internet use and how to cheat in PRISON UNIVERSITY.
In addition to this punishment SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY personally ensured that BPTUBBS was expelled from PRISON UNIVERSITY.
BPTUBBS will be released back into the General Population in time for Episode 8 THE GRAND FINAL and has also had another SIX MONTHS added to his jail term.
Despite being banged up BPTUBBS is still a force to be reckoned with in H.M.P. Bluelight Towers. His team ensured it was BUSINESS AS USUAL with ABDU organising the influx and distribution of the contraband and ALEX running credit control.
Complaints have been made to ABDU about the violent debt collection methods employed by ALEX but he says he only does it to make sure the RESPECT that BPTUBBS is held in by the other lags remains untarnished.
Because he was in THE HOLE for most of the week BPTUBBS is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about BPTUBBS immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
52%
Because he was in THE HOLE for most of the week BPTUBBS is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about BPTUBBS immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
32%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for BPTUBBS. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
The story of BPTUBBS is a story of SAVAGE JEALOUSY AND STRANGE PASSIONS IN THE ASPHALT JUNGLE OF THE PRISON.
This PROFESSOR in the UNIVERSITY OF HARDKNOCKS could still prove to be the ultimate TOP DOG
RESPECT!
THIS WEEK'S WINNER:
MAL3VOLENT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers TOP DOG!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 97
Looking like the DOGS BOLLOCKS = 6
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 4
Recruited MARK LEWIS = 5
Shanking PEDO BEAST MASOOD MASOURI = 5
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
University Undergraduate a.k.a.SMARTS = 4
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
UNLEASHED TOTAL TERROR = 3 + 1 for previous form
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
Refurbished HARDKNOCK GYM = 3
TOTAL RESPECT = 128
MAL3VOLENT prowls the jail like a MIGHTY JUNGLE BEAST
MAL3VOLENT got his first positive character reference ever in the national press, albeit page 5 - the lifestyle section, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. MAL3VOLENT also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.
TANGUY VIAD is so ON TREND right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.
So now they talk about MAL3VOLENT in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this MAL3VOLENT. Word is PRINCE HARRY has ordered the same suit as worn by MAL3VOLENT from BAD BOY TANGUY.
A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting MAL3VOLENT on Dragons Den, albeit in gold plated handcuffs.
BLOOD is on MAL3VOLENT hands, But he is THE BEST DRESSED CHICKEN IN TOWN
LOOKING LIKE THE MAN
AND
HITTING LIKE A HAMMER
MAL3VOLENT initially thought MARK LEWIS-JONES was filth, but a quick dekko at his file removed that doubt. MARK is a bloody handy chap with a blade, a right stabby cunt, who sniggers as he shanks you. MARK hero-worships MAL3VOLENT and if MAL3VOLENT occasionally chucks him a gram of pub dust and a bottle of Chateau Bluelight's finest, then MAL3VOLENT's wish is MARK's command.
MAL3VOLENT initially thought the MONSTER MASOOD would be an addition to his crew, he even accepted RESPECT from the MONSTER MASOOD.
This episode we saw the REVENGE OF THE TOP DOG unleashed! MAL3VOLENT made sure that the MONSTER MASOOD never forgot him, he would see to that. That was a morning well spent in the WELFARE OFFICE looking through the files! MAL3VOLENT will NOT have these wrong 'uns polluting his world.
The MONSTER MASOOD had a little accident this week, he fell down some stairs and his eye popped out. (That's his story anyway). He has been transferred to the VULNERABLE PERSONS UNIT and is due to be shipped out.
"LIKE LOOKING AT LITTTLE GIRLS DO YA?"
NOT ON MY WATCH!"
It's only a matter of time before MASOOD THE MONSTER gets turned off!
MAL3VOLENT is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about MAL3VOLENT immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
42%
MAL3VOLENT is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about MAL3VOLENT immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
22%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for MAL3VOLENT. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
For now though MAL3VOLENT is running roughshod all over the prison and DOPEY SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY can't even pin a minor rule violation on him!
MAL3VOLENT splits his time between the PRISON THEATRE with TINK who is GREEDY, SPOILED and DEPRAVED - MAL3VOLENT's favourite kind of TRAMP and the HARDKNOCK GYM with SCOUSE JOE - the WILDER the ACTION the ROUGHER the SEX the more MALE3VOLENT LOVES IT!.
As long as someone's nose ends up looking like a burst tomato MAL3VOLENT is happy.
A BRUTAL STORY OF MAYHEM AND MURDER, DRUGS AND DEGENERATE LUSTS
MAL3VOLENT IS TOP DOG
RESPECT!
MADNESS00
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CAPO DI TUTTI I CAPI!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 73
Looking like the DOGS BOLLOCKS = 6
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
BELOVED OF THE CHATTERING CLASSES = 4
Recruited DAVID JENKINS = 10
Recruited MARK LEWIS = 5
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
University Undergraduate a.k.a.SMARTS = 4
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
Refurbished HARDKNOCK GYM = 3
TOTAL RESPECT = 105
MADNESS00 Born to be Bad!
MADNESS00 pulled some strings and his DOPEY MUG of a probation officer got him onto the CLEANING CREW before SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY could blink. MADNESS00 went through the records of the new intake while cleaning the WELFARE OFFICE and pulled the jacket on DAVID JENKINS and saw the future. A future with JENKS working as his right hand man.
Fucking JENKS knows his ANDROGEL from his ANDRODERM and had huge experience in bashing drugs and dealing efficiently with cash. After a short chat with MADNESS00, JENKS happily came on board as JUNIOR PARTNER and now spends most of his time in the PRISON CHAPEL doing really good works for MADNESS00 and JENKS personally looks after trembly old FATHER INZO, who seems to walk into doors, fall down stairs and tip boiling hot water over his genitals most days twice a day, he's really aged.
POOR OLD FATHER INZO.
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
CRIME is their GOD
And every GOD needs a DEVIL
MADNESS00
MADNESS00
MADNESS00 initially thought MARK LEWIS-JONES was filth, but a quick dekko at his file removed that doubt. MARK is a bloody handy chap with a blade, a right stabby cunt, who sniggers as he shanks you. MARK hero-worships MADNESS00 and if MADNESS00 occasionally chucks him a gram of pub dust and a bottle of Chateau Bluelight's finest, then MADNESS00's wish is MARK's command.
MADNESS00 got his first positive character reference ever in the national press, albeit page 5 - the lifestyle section, for encouraging a young criminal to go straight and become a bad boy high end tailor. MADNESS00 also has the kudos of being the first person to order a commission from him.
TANGUY VIAD is so ON TREND right now and quite the darling of the socially concerned liberal metropolitan class.
So now they talk about MADNESS00 in Chelsea and Kensington, Islington and Hampstead. They call him a ROUGH DIAMOND, this MADNESS00. Word is PRINCE HARRY has ordered the same underwear as worn by MADNESS00 from BAD BOY TANGUY.
A geezer with a heart of gold, there's talk of getting MADNESS00 on Dragons Den, albeit in palladium plated handcuffs.
BLOOD is on MADNESS00 hands, But he is THE BEST DRESSED CHICKEN IN TOWN
MADNESS00 is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about MADNESS00 immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
45%
MADNESS00 is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about MADNESS00 immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
27%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for MADNESS00. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
MADNESS00 HIS IS A LIFE OF THUNDER AND FURY, A LIFE OF PASSION AND PAIN
MADNESS00 is a LONE WOLF and he's going to be the TOP DOG
RESPECT!
BPTUBBS
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers THE MAN!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 80
Caught with knickers down = -3
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
Expelled from PRISON UNIVERSITY = 3
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
Branded a CHEAT = 3
Business as Usual ABDU = 5
Business as Usual ALEX = 4
Refurbished HARDKNOCK GYM = 3
TOTAL RESPECT = 95
BPTUBBS, he was YOUNG and HANDSOME but his TRICKS were OLD and DIRTY!
BPTUBBS and his crew ABDURRAOUF ESHATI and ALEX WILLIAMS were in THE LIBRARY and BPTUBBS was bragging about what an easy time it was in PRISON UNIVERSITY if you were SMART like he was. They all failed to notice a uniformed figure lurking behind them - SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY who overheard:
Aaaaaand as prisoners do not have LEGAL access to the internet BPTUBBS was put on LOCKDOWN in THE HOLE for the rest of the week after boasting about his internet use and how to cheat in PRISON UNIVERSITY.
In addition to this punishment SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY personally ensured that BPTUBBS was expelled from PRISON UNIVERSITY.
BPTUBBS will be released back into the General Population in time for Episode 8 THE GRAND FINAL and has also had another SIX MONTHS added to his jail term.
Despite being banged up BPTUBBS is still a force to be reckoned with in H.M.P. Bluelight Towers. His team ensured it was BUSINESS AS USUAL with ABDU organising the influx and distribution of the contraband and ALEX running credit control.
Complaints have been made to ABDU about the violent debt collection methods employed by ALEX but he says he only does it to make sure the RESPECT that BPTUBBS is held in by the other lags remains untarnished.
Because he was in THE HOLE for most of the week BPTUBBS is currently unaware that there is a BASTARD PEDOPHILE EX-COPPER "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced ANTHONY HUGHES and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about BPTUBBS immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
52%
Because he was in THE HOLE for most of the week BPTUBBS is currently unaware that there is a FUCKING GRASS "undercover" on his wing. The authorities have already threatened/coerced MARTIN TATE and he is now supposed to pass on any information or rumour he may pick up about BPTUBBS immediately to SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY.
32%
Having these two SNITCHES on his wing could seriously FUCK UP things for BPTUBBS. Either one of them is capable of PISSING ALL OVER HIS CHIPS...
The story of BPTUBBS is a story of SAVAGE JEALOUSY AND STRANGE PASSIONS IN THE ASPHALT JUNGLE OF THE PRISON.
This PROFESSOR in the UNIVERSITY OF HARDKNOCKS could still prove to be the ultimate TOP DOG
RESPECT!
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