Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

[Painful One]

ShroomySatori- I sent you an e-mail with some important information.

Summary:
Epsom salts- for Magnesium (helps with aches and pains as well as confusion)
Orange juice- for your sugar levels
Bananas- for your potassium levels
Salt- sodium levels
Potatoes- good source of carbohydrates

You have got to keep all these levels up. You are low on all of this. You will feel much better if you help your body to regulate itself.
Going through such heavy withdrawal depletes your bodies reserves rapidly.

I just discovered that I got an aromatherapy candle that is sage and mint for Christmas. I have it going now and I love it!
Very nice combination. Very soothing. It is called "Recharge" and that is a good name for it.
This aromatherapy combination is helping me ALOT!

I am feeling much better today. My lower back still has a very sharp pain in it but the rest of my body feels much better.
I don't think I had a seizure. If I did, it was minor.

I'm going to get out of the house and do a bit more shopping today but I will keep checking my e mail and here regularly.
Hang in there!

 

[Painful One]

One more thing- for everyone-

Mushrooms (no, not hallucinatory ones lol) are a superfood and I actually healed Liver Failure with mushrooms.
Saut? some mushrooms up with some butter and garlic salt, put them on pizza, bake a nice big one with some cheeses. Etc.

Nutrition is very important and will help you to recover much, much quicker and can prevent things. The right foods can make you feel instantly better.

I hope everyone is doing alright today.
Take care of yourselves.
Much love ALL!

 

[ShroomySatori]

Today was one of the craziest days of my whole entire life. The confluence of events, how everything connected together. My whole community came together to help me. For example, I was expecting to see a psychiatrist in 3 months but I am next week. I need to be honest and get on a real taper they won't leave me hanging. I'm not suicidal I am just not myself in extreme benzo withdrawal. I am holding by the way. No dose increases, it has been like ten days. It can't go on for much longer without stabilizing.

I am fighting this. Today was spiritual though looking back. There were so many coincidences that tied together. I will never understand, but someone or something a Higher Power is protecting me from death. I truly have faith in this because there is no explaining what I went through today and continue to go through. It is like a fucking wild acid trip without being high. Well, I am smoking really strong weed but that's it. Tapering and feeling rough as rusty nails on the floorboard.

 

[ShroomySatori]

Yeah so I've been in absolute hell. It should be ending soon in a good way, reached out for help. It's not over yet but I got this. I had I think what they call a bottom. I snapped, it took a lot but I finally broke the down. I can no longer use those drugs the same way. Knowing what I know now. I'm still in a daze about it. I'm not out of danger yet either I still have a crazy low supply.

 

[Painful One]

Well HALLELUJAH!!!

I have been praying for you like crazy.
There just was really nothing more I could do for you my friend.
You had to reach out for help and I am SO, SO grateful that you did!

And yeah, you now know there is a higher power! It is absolutely what has and is saving you!
You know this for yourself now.

Good for your community! Thank God for good people everywhere. I could just kiss them!

Benzo's is the absolute worst of the worst thing I have ever experienced myself. I crash landed at the hospital unconscious with my psycho sister, ex-husband, and daughter telling the doctors a bunch of bullshit. They had no idea about what they were saying and I gained consciousness to a shitload of trouble and no defense against 3 family members.

I know you feel like living hell but it will pass Shroomy. It will. You are almost there. Keep fighting through it.

Much Love My Brother!
You got this!

 

[ShroomySatori]

That explains it. I wanted to let you know what was up but I was in chaos. I'm working as hard this week to keep myself alive 24/7 seriously as I can.

I slept 4 hours last night... I feel stupid, but that should keep me from breaking down right? Since that was like the first in many many days I can't remember how many. It's like day 11 now.

Yes, everything will work out. Tomorrow, things could go wrong but it's unlikely. This week has changed my life.

Thanks. Yeah. I am coming around but again, my supply is STILL low which is not affecting the tapering right now but I could still run out. Like how the supply isn't in your hands until it is. They are taking so fucking long. So I'm not in the clear yet but things are looking good.

 

[Painful One]

Nah...everything is going to go just fine.

No worries.

Relax and try to sleep for awhile.

I need to do the same.

 

[dopiejay]

Hey guys. I had to check out for a bit. I've been really depressed lately and hating my life. I don't wanna finish school. I don't wanna do anything. I just don't want to wake up anymore.

I sincerely hope you are all doing better than me. Shroomy, u ok man? Seems like ur having a very hard go of it.

Ash and painful one; how are you ladies doing? Hopefully all is well.

Everyone else; I'm here if you need me, pm anytime. I've been going down this road a long time and I may have some knowledge in my messed up fucking head somewhere.

 

[ShroomySatori]

I did sleep for 3 hours. It's becoming more common.

Man, I forgot you. My memory is already better though. Dude this has been the worst and best experience of my life. It has brutally tortured me for 11 days straight now with little to no sleep whatsoever. I have been reduced to a skeleton. I had to tell my family, not everything yet but they know what's up. I luckily got an emergency psychiatrist appointment booked because at one point I was thinking of ending my life I just wasn't thinking straight it's dangerous.

I'm not out of the woods yet. I have an extremely low supply that I have been chasing after for over a week now. It had to happen, the only way I could get on a real taper was to suffer this much. Man I had an anxiety disorder before I took benzos and stayed on them for 6 years non stop. Every day all day. Before that I had been having life ruining panic attacks, extreme ones I couldn't handle. After a year of that, got on them.

This is been HELL. I was already skinny from all the sickness before and now I've lost SO much weight. And I keep eating and eating a lot of food and nothing is changing. There have been times when I felt and was on the brink of death. I can't take it anymore. Even with my supply, I cannot take higher doses. It's like how I have never had a heroin craving in since a year and a half ago that I was worried about at all. That shit made me suffer so much too, that it is worthless to me now. I wish I had quit while I was ahead. It progresses, gets so much worse after several years.

So, I can't run out before I see my psychiatrist and be 100% honest for once. Apart from that running out part which is pretty much entirely paranoia, I should be good to get started on a taper plan while getting therapy. I want it to be outpatient because I need to be in society right now. I've been disconnected for so long already. Anyways, I should have time to have options to explore with my psychiatrist.

This week has changed my spirituality permanently. There is no coming back the same from suffering like that. This has been the trip of a lifetime just when I realized I didn't feel the need to trip out ever again in my life and probably wouldn't if offered. Unless it was that bc bud of course. Man the shit I am getting is absolute fire, not the recreational stuff.

 

[ShroomySatori]

"I used to wanna kill myself
Came up still wanna kill myself
My life is going nowhere
I want everyone to know that I don't care"
-peep

I DO CARE. I am still at war with myself and I'm trying to reach safe battle ground today for the time being until I can acquire some medical assistance come Monday when they have me booked for that ptsd stuff. Otherwise I am going to have to SOS today here and helicopter to the nearest hospital for emergency treatment. The weather isn't looking good for that I probably wouldn't make it there to begin with. Presently in hiding in the forest communicating via secure GPS, so that I am not discharged for losing my mind.

 

[mtop2036]

Day three at 1.25mg! Definitely need to slow down though. In fact I'm doing this so quick that my doctor had to put me on meds for high blood pressure and I'm only 29 years old. I think I'll do a few more .25 jumps until I'm on .5 then start doing .13 till as close to zero as possible.

Don't give ups shroomy. Just keep up what your doing until you an get to your doctor atleast. But don't hesitate to go to the DR if you feel like a possible seizure is comming.

 

[dopiejay]

Day three at 1.25mg! Definitely need to slow down though. In fact I'm doing this so quick that my doctor had to put me on meds for high blood pressure and I'm only 29 years old. I think I'll do a few more .25 jumps until I'm on .5 then start doing .13 till as close to zero as possible.

Don't give ups shroomy. Just keep up what your doing until you an get to your doctor atleast. But don't hesitate to go to the DR if you feel like a possible seizure is comming.

Take your time boss you'll get there, there's really no need to rush with subs because they aren't intoxicating so you can really go at your own pace. but don't go too fast. My buddy just recently tried to relapse because suboxone wasn't doing it for him. He asked me where to look for 200 dollars worth of oxy after being quit for years. So don't put yourself in that situation and you'll be alright. You got this!

And shroomy. I'm glad your seeing a doctor bud and your finally thinking somewhat straight again. They've seen this before don't you worry, they'll take care of you and if they don't? Then maybe try a rehab. They've definitely seen this before and know what to do but honestly I don't think it'll come to that. Good luck my brother

 

[ShroomySatori]

I am not just seeing a doctor man. There is more to it than that. I am getting everyone and every thing involved to raise awareness about this monster of a drug. If they don't listen to me at the hospital, I will preach on the sidewalk. People need to know before it's too late. Nothing whatsoever has been done for 10 years. Prohibition needs to stop before anyone else dies and doctors need to stop handing out poison without any warnings or information.

I am here and alive to do the work of the Lord. I do not know what that means. I may have to die. I will have my say. I don't care either way. I am beyond that, I have cracked to the point that I have full, 100% faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and I have not since the years 2000 - 2002. That is when my life started falling apart. I woke up this morning and finally picked up "rediscover Jesus" that someone had randomly placed in front of where I have breakfast like a week ago. I knew right away that I had faith. The more I read into this the more that I do.

And I am a scientist. People will listen. Science and religion must be merged and war shall be stopped. I proclaim this through the Son of God, the word of the Lord. I have many other life plans, but everything is on hold now until I discover God. This is going to be ongoing against the particular drug that needs to be stopped as every year more and more people are ending up like this and nothing is being done. I plan on starting an organization to simply raise awareness in a very serious way. People already know these prescription drugs are killing people left right and center and will listen to me. I have the scientific knowledge and other life experience to properly convey what is actually going on here. Because a lot of those suffering have so much anxiety and are so dysfunctional that they could not do this but I will stand up. I will be the one to stand up against this fucking bullshit. These prescription drugs need to change something has to change about them and I will show them my perspective. Exactly what the fuck has happened to my life since I was prescribed them, what happened to my brain, what happened to my fucking SOUL. I have not been able to see out of my very own eyes since the age of 15.

I see quite clearly now. I am going fucking crazy and I don't give a fuck! Because I know Jesus is looking out for me. I know this to be true and it deserves no basis other than faith. We do not need N number of basis vectors here to form an N dimensional vector space. What I personally needed has been a near death experience. A long, arduous, 2 week torture bringing me to the brink of insanity. It has changed me forever. I will not be a pussy though. I am telling the psychiatrist everything. That I got off fucking heroin without anyone even noticing after 6 years and was taking SO much and how this stuff I have finally met my match. This is one hell of a beast to wage war against. It has to be stopped.

I'm not really down with the institutions. I'm down with showing them just how fucked up they are and how much they need to change with my scientific knowledge, wisdom, etc etc etc I am putting everything positive and good in the world into fighting this and NOT just for myself and those who know me. For everyone who has suffered this fate. For those who have died before me.

And so that if it comes to it I may die in peace.

 

[Painful One]

I am not just seeing a doctor man. There is more to it than that. I am getting everyone and every thing involved to raise awareness about this monster of a drug. If they don't listen to me at the hospital, I will preach on the sidewalk. People need to know before it's too late. Nothing whatsoever has been done for 10 years. Prohibition needs to stop before anyone else dies and doctors need to stop handing out poison without any warnings or information.

I am here and alive to do the work of the Lord. I do not know what that means. I may have to die. I will have my say. I don't care either way. I am beyond that, I have cracked to the point that I have full, 100% faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and I have not since the years 2000 - 2002. That is when my life started falling apart. I woke up this morning and finally picked up "rediscover Jesus" that someone had randomly placed in front of where I have breakfast like a week ago. I knew right away that I had faith. The more I read into this the more that I do.

And I am a scientist. People will listen. Science and religion must be merged and war shall be stopped. I proclaim this through the Son of God, the word of the Lord. I have many other life plans, but everything is on hold now until I discover God. This is going to be ongoing against the particular drug that needs to be stopped as every year more and more people are ending up like this and nothing is being done. I plan on starting an organization to simply raise awareness in a very serious way. People already know these prescription drugs are killing people left right and center and will listen to me. I have the scientific knowledge and other life experience to properly convey what is actually going on here. Because a lot of those suffering have so much anxiety and are so dysfunctional that they could not do this but I will stand up. I will be the one to stand up against this fucking bullshit. These prescription drugs need to change something has to change about them and I will show them my perspective. Exactly what the fuck has happened to my life since I was prescribed them, what happened to my brain, what happened to my fucking SOUL. I have not been able to see out of my very own eyes since the age of 15.

I see quite clearly now. I am going fucking crazy and I don't give a fuck! Because I know Jesus is looking out for me. I know this to be true and it deserves no basis other than faith. We do not need N number of basis vectors here to form an N dimensional vector space. What I personally needed has been a near death experience. A long, arduous, 2 week torture bringing me to the brink of insanity. It has changed me forever. I will not be a pussy though. I am telling the psychiatrist everything. That I got off fucking heroin without anyone even noticing after 6 years and was taking SO much and how this stuff I have finally met my match. This is one hell of a beast to wage war against. It has to be stopped.

I'm not really down with the institutions. I'm down with showing them just how fucked up they are and how much they need to change with my scientific knowledge, wisdom, etc etc etc I am putting everything positive and good in the world into fighting this and NOT just for myself and those who know me. For everyone who has suffered this fate. For those who have died before me.

And so that if it comes to it I may die in peace.

WOW! I must say- I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

You see why I refused to stop calling it a "research chemical" when you asked me to? Yes you do.

I will help you and I agree!

Well done brother !

*smiles at you

 

[dopiejay]

I am not just seeing a doctor man. There is more to it than that. I am getting everyone and every thing involved to raise awareness about this monster of a drug. If they don't listen to me at the hospital, I will preach on the sidewalk. People need to know before it's too late. Nothing whatsoever has been done for 10 years. Prohibition needs to stop before anyone else dies and doctors need to stop handing out poison without any warnings or information.

I am here and alive to do the work of the Lord. I do not know what that means. I may have to die. I will have my say. I don't care either way. I am beyond that, I have cracked to the point that I have full, 100% faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and I have not since the years 2000 - 2002. That is when my life started falling apart. I woke up this morning and finally picked up "rediscover Jesus" that someone had randomly placed in front of where I have breakfast like a week ago. I knew right away that I had faith. The more I read into this the more that I do.

And I am a scientist. People will listen. Science and religion must be merged and war shall be stopped. I proclaim this through the Son of God, the word of the Lord. I have many other life plans, but everything is on hold now until I discover God. This is going to be ongoing against the particular drug that needs to be stopped as every year more and more people are ending up like this and nothing is being done. I plan on starting an organization to simply raise awareness in a very serious way. People already know these prescription drugs are killing people left right and center and will listen to me. I have the scientific knowledge and other life experience to properly convey what is actually going on here. Because a lot of those suffering have so much anxiety and are so dysfunctional that they could not do this but I will stand up. I will be the one to stand up against this fucking bullshit. These prescription drugs need to change something has to change about them and I will show them my perspective. Exactly what the fuck has happened to my life since I was prescribed them, what happened to my brain, what happened to my fucking SOUL. I have not been able to see out of my very own eyes since the age of 15.

I see quite clearly now. I am going fucking crazy and I don't give a fuck! Because I know Jesus is looking out for me. I know this to be true and it deserves no basis other than faith. We do not need N number of basis vectors here to form an N dimensional vector space. What I personally needed has been a near death experience. A long, arduous, 2 week torture bringing me to the brink of insanity. It has changed me forever. I will not be a pussy though. I am telling the psychiatrist everything. That I got off fucking heroin without anyone even noticing after 6 years and was taking SO much and how this stuff I have finally met my match. This is one hell of a beast to wage war against. It has to be stopped.

I'm not really down with the institutions. I'm down with showing them just how fucked up they are and how much they need to change with my scientific knowledge, wisdom, etc etc etc I am putting everything positive and good in the world into fighting this and NOT just for myself and those who know me. For everyone who has suffered this fate. For those who have died before me.

And so that if it comes to it I may die in peace.

Ur totally right bro and that sounds like a noble cause, raising benzo awareness. As far as I'm concern nobody knows fuck all about benzos, not even really the doctors handing them out. I know I didn't know what I was getting myself into first when I started taking them, and had I known I never would have started.

My anxiety is worse than it ever was since starting with benzos and now I'm forced to taper off, so what did I gain? Not a god damn thing that's what.

And we're in the middle of an opioid crisis then. HA. The opioid crisis doesn't exist. The benzo crisis is certainly spreading like a god damn plague tho isn't it.

 

[Xorkoth]

Well I think we are in the midst of an opiate crisis, mostly because the huge prevalence of fentanyl is massively increasing overdoses (and it's even showing up in drugs like cocaine). But yeah, also a benzo crisis. It's unbelievable to me that there are still doctors claiming they're not addictive, when anyone who actually knows about drugs knows they have one of if not the very worst withdrawal syndrome of any drug out there.

 

[Painful One]

Well I think we are in the midst of an opiate crisis, mostly because the huge prevalence of fentanyl is massively increasing overdoses (and it's even showing up in drugs like cocaine). But yeah, also a benzo crisis. It's unbelievable to me that there are still doctors claiming they're not addictive, when anyone who actually knows about drugs knows they have one of if not the very worst withdrawal syndrome of any drug out there.

Yes. Very true!
The fentanyl is the problem with the opiates and other drugs people are unknowingly getting laced stuff!

The benzo withdrawal is absolute horror! Opiate withdrawal doesn't even compare!
I mean the doctors should have to tell you- "oh BTW if you ever stop taking that medication I just gave you so non chalantly, you will loose your mind, go psychotic, seizure, and possibly die after you have suffered incredibly."

They don't even warn you not to stop taking it abruptly. Nothing!

Who among us would have accepted any benzo's knowing what we do now?

Then, if you show back up at that same doctor who gave you the stuff, loosing your shit they turn you away. Accuse you of addiction and tell you "we don't treat that here." What kind of horseshit is that?! Ya know?

Most people have been brought up to trust doctors without question.

 

[Xorkoth]

Some doctors will even take people off abruptly or give them like a week of lower doses to taper with. Because when benzos came out, they were touted as being nonaddictive by the pharmaceutical companies (so was oxycodone). And I guess some doctors can't be bothered to keep up to date with information, preferring instead to prescribe whatever the pharmaceutical reps tell them to for kickbacks.

However I do think the benzo withdrawal syndrome is starting to become more common knowledge.

Another one that a lot of people don't understand or believe is SSRI withdrawal, which, though not as bad as benzos, is also horrible.

 

[Painful One]

Some doctors will even take people off abruptly or give them like a week of lower doses to taper with. Because when benzos came out, they were touted as being nonaddictive by the pharmaceutical companies (so was oxycodone). And I guess some doctors can't be bothered to keep up to date with information, preferring instead to prescribe whatever the pharmaceutical reps tell them to for kickbacks.

However I do think the benzo withdrawal syndrome is starting to become more common knowledge.

Another one that a lot of people don't understand or believe is SSRI withdrawal, which, though not as bad as benzos, is also horrible.

Yeah, I guess that is what it is. Some doctors cannot be bothered to do their job and research the medications they are giving people.
It never ceases to amaze me what harm people will do to their fellow human beings for money!
Shame on them.

Yes anti depressants most certainly has a bad withdrawal quite similar to benzo's actually with a bit of added weird torture to it.
When I was hurt in that auto accident and started going down with chronic pain, my doctor (at the time- he is fired!) tried me on everything. After taking Paxil for a couple days I knew I was in trouble. I threw that stuff in the garbage. I still went through major hell for so many months. So many different medications with different hell torture for months and months.

Like it is amazing how LONG the messed up, barely able to hold it together lasts for with benzo's and anti depressants. Not to mention that Effexor crap!

I finally got so pissed off and told him that I was not a Guinea pig research animal! I need some pain pills. I am in pain. Nothing else works and you have done untold harm to me!

One time I actually got called over to the city that we did the health insurance for as they called me to come deal with this situation and when I got there, one of the police officers wives was in her bathrobe, hair all messed up, eyes bulging out, crouched in the corner of the city hall completely loosing her mind. I guess she asked for me as I was the only person she trusted to help her.

I took off my coat and covered her up and got her to my car and took her to my office where at least everyone wasn't seeing her and I started asking her what had happened. She said "I don't know, everything was fine and I just woke up hallucinating" then she just totally broke down crying. I asked her if she had done anything different in the last few days. Had she stopped taking any medication or started any new medication? The answer was yes, she had stopped taking some anti depressants because she didn't need them anymore. I told her, that is what is happening. You are in withdrawal from that. I drove her to her house and had her take the medication and stayed with her until she was alright again.

 

[ShroomySatori]

The benzo withdrawal is absolute horror! Opiate withdrawal doesn't even compare!
I mean the doctors should have to tell you- "oh BTW if you ever stop taking that medication I just gave you so non chalantly, you will loose your mind, go psychotic, seizure, and possibly die after you have suffered incredibly."

The greed that fuels all of this disgusts me. You speak the truth regarding benzo withdrawal. What I just experienced nearly broke my brain and it was the first 12 days. Granted the drop has been heavy as fuck and yeah it was BAD. I slept 3 hours last night at least but this can't go on. And I'm not just being another psych patient taken advantage of I am going to raise hell, I will contact the news if I have to. I don't think I can make it through alive without severely damaging myself and cold turkey would be unspeakably horrific at this point.

I didn't need to rant, but, I think there needs to be more awareness about how bad these benzodiazepines are. There already is, now that the fools started to market xanax to teenagers in this area who can't control it at all. It's so crazy how young some of them are doing this stuff, like even weed effects the developing mind.

I am not really doing anything with my life while I detox, and I think raising awareness is an excellent idea because nobody seems to be. Everyone is either in hiding and enslaved (or the odd curious tripper... which really isn't worth this industry for all the extreme pain it causes) - or they are making too much money to care.