Got 4 days today....shit is great yet rough at the same time.
Congrats, man! Not sure what drugs you're clean from...are you detoxing and sick? In any case, those first days are so rough. Keep up the awesomeness!!
No, the last thing I used was DXM last tuesday, cocaine the day before that. So no withdrawals, other than the psychological aspect. I feel great off chemicals, but still always feel the need for something. I've never made it more than 57 or 58 days clean/sober since I started using/drinking like 12 years ago. So I'm trying to smash that record. My goal is 90 days, not that I'm planning to use after that, but I wanted to set a goal and acheive it. Also since I've never made it that long, I don't think I've allowed my receptors and neurotransmitters and such to fully stabilize, which they say takes at least a year.(and possibly never fully happen, but at least get better)
No, the last thing I used was DXM last tuesday, cocaine the day before that. So no withdrawals, other than the psychological aspect. I feel great off chemicals, but still always feel the need for something. I've never made it more than 57 or 58 days clean/sober since I started using/drinking like 12 years ago. So I'm trying to smash that record. My goal is 90 days, not that I'm planning to use after that, but I wanted to set a goal and acheive it. Also since I've never made it that long, I don't think I've allowed my receptors and neurotransmitters and such to fully stabilize, which they say takes at least a year.(and possibly never fully happen, but at least get better)
I used dissociatives, mainly DXM and MXE, very, very regularly for months while I was tapering off and recently abstinent from methadone. It's taken me like six months to get to a place today where I'm not using them at all, not even infrequently anymore. It is amazing how long term sustained use of that stuff, particularly DXM (and I'm not even talking about DXM and X OTC combos), is a blessing and, if you get to comfy with it, quite the curse. While under the influence DXM basically made behave like a high function autistic individual. It was very frustrating sometimes, living in the normal world full of "normal" people and not being able to interact with them according to their "normal" social norms, yet knowing full well what they were and what was expected of me. Of course, there were many beautiful, truly life changing things about these experiences that words cannot description. Feelings of connection and flow like few I've ever known.
All that said, I did noticed some very subtle, yet very significant side effects and a kind of withdrawal (it wasn't really withdrawal, it was more like I could feel my body/brain chemistry re-equalize to a state of no exogenous NMDAr antagonists post DXM/MXE). The most noticeable thing, and the reason I was so easily able to stop and not interested in using it, is because by the end constant and regular use of them totally dehydrated by body (to the point where when I had a physical they almost put me in the hospital). Something related to this (I'm not to clearly on what each organ dose anymore, outside a handful of them of course) is that my diss use totally fucked up my kidney. You can only imagine the horribly scary color and, yes, texture of my urine. More so when I was actually using them, but still, weeks later, some of it has linger (though it's gotten much better; my kidney no longer hurts, my urine is no longer grainy or cloudy, etc).
Scary shit. I know not everyone will react this way, and firmly believe that occasional diss use is safe and not very problematic either on the brain or psyche. But sustained, constant, or very regular use will undoubtably become problematically harmful. It's just a matter of time (six months, a year, three years, who knows, but one will run into problems with their diss use at some point if used irresponsibly like I was).
No, the last thing I used was DXM last tuesday, cocaine the day before that. So no withdrawals, other than the psychological aspect. I feel great off chemicals, but still always feel the need for something. I've never made it more than 57 or 58 days clean/sober since I started using/drinking like 12 years ago. So I'm trying to smash that record. My goal is 90 days, not that I'm planning to use after that, but I wanted to set a goal and acheive it. Also since I've never made it that long, I don't think I've allowed my receptors and neurotransmitters and such to fully stabilize, which they say takes at least a year.(and possibly never fully happen, but at least get better)
No comments on two great Maiden videos or did everybody think they were pics probably cause my old ass coudnt figure out how to link them right that was my best attempt lol just click on pics
Oh, I watched em, TLD. Love the spandex and the fog machine. More seriously tho, I always thought maiden's bassist was an absolute badass.
Seems like a good plan. Realistic and doable. ... Oh, and I'm with you on the whole brain healing thing... trying like hell to abstain long enough to bring my brain chemistry back into something approximating normal function.
Good luck!
I used dissociatives, mainly DXM and MXE, very, very regularly for months while I was tapering off and recently abstinent from methadone. It's taken me like six months to get to a place today where I'm not using them at all, not even infrequently anymore. It is amazing how long term sustained use of that stuff, particularly DXM (and I'm not even talking about DXM and X OTC combos), is a blessing and, if you get to comfy with it, quite the curse. While under the influence DXM basically made behave like a high function autistic individual. It was very frustrating sometimes, living in the normal world full of "normal" people and not being able to interact with them according to their "normal" social norms, yet knowing full well what they were and what was expected of me. Of course, there were many beautiful, truly life changing things about these experiences that words cannot description. Feelings of connection and flow like few I've ever known.
All that said, I did noticed some very subtle, yet very significant side effects and a kind of withdrawal (it wasn't really withdrawal, it was more like I could feel my body/brain chemistry re-equalize to a state of no exogenous NMDAr antagonists post DXM/MXE). The most noticeable thing, and the reason I was so easily able to stop and not interested in using it, is because by the end constant and regular use of them totally dehydrated by body (to the point where when I had a physical they almost put me in the hospital). Something related to this (I'm not to clearly on what each organ dose anymore, outside a handful of them of course) is that my diss use totally fucked up my kidney. You can only imagine the horribly scary color and, yes, texture of my urine. More so when I was actually using them, but still, weeks later, some of it has linger (though it's gotten much better; my kidney no longer hurts, my urine is no longer grainy or cloudy, etc).
Scary shit. I know not everyone will react this way, and firmly believe that occasional diss use is safe and not very problematic either on the brain or psyche. But sustained, constant, or very regular use will undoubtably become problematically harmful. It's just a matter of time (six months, a year, three years, who knows, but one will run into problems with their diss use at some point if used irresponsibly like I was).
Hey all just checking in. Still being a good boy. My couple experiences with DXM were interesting but didn't really leave me wanting more. I remember watching Battle of the Bulge and feeling like it went on for the entire day and not much else.