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Tapering Benzo withdrawal: Losing my mind

  • Thread starter Thread starter cj
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ShroomySatori said:
I would really recommend looking into Valerian. It is killing the fuck out of my panic disorder and I sometimes even use it as a benzo substitute - fellow benzo addict here, and it strongly interacts with and potentiates benzos as well, so I've been able to get by on a lower dose.

Just trying to help. I don't mean to downplay what you are going through, as it is truly extreme in every sense of the word, but I was shocked that something natural could relieve my anxiety almost well as well as drugs I've been taking for years. I've been using Valerian liquid phytocaps... if you're in hardcore withdrawals I swear it would help take the edge off in high doses. It acts on Gaba A and even has affinity for the benzodiazepine receptor if I'm not mistaken. From any health food or supplement store, marketed as a sleep aid.
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Ill check that out for sure.

Shit kinda worked out with the car. I am just so fucking stressed. Family is stressed. Its a bad situation. I cant imagine kicking 170mg of methadone though. That's gonna be something else and I am pretty sure ill be back on heroin before its all said and done.

Trying to taper with such a short acting drug in an unknown volumetric form is useless. At some point I may just say screw it and risk the seizure.
 
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simco said:
in a good way? ;)
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I am not complaining that's for sure. 15 hours since my last dose of Xanax no noticeable signs of withdrawal. Hopefully it stays this way.

This has been such a confusing experience. My methadone counselor asked me the other day why I constantly second guess my decisions and its because I have made such piss poor ones in the past. I don't know what the future holds but this has been the final nail in the coffin for my old life. I know I cant go on the way I am. I have to make changes. Large changes. Scary changes. I have to grow up. You guys are amazing thanks for all the support.
 
Sounds like good insight, cj. But also, don't forget the cliched-but-true: take things one day at a time. Change starts here and now. You're doing great.
 
Glad to hear you were able to get some sleep and are feeling better! Sage advice - "One day at a time". If it's been 15 hours since your last Xanax you may want to take a minuscule amount to keep yourself out of withdrawal as symptoms set in quickly. It should be simple to measure a low dose since you have it in liquid. Try to keep the momentum you have going for you now :)
 
Moreaux said:
Glad to hear you were able to get some sleep and are feeling better! Sage advice - "One day at a time". If it's been 15 hours since your last Xanax you may want to take a minuscule amount to keep yourself out of withdrawal as symptoms set in quickly. It should be simple to measure a low dose since you have it in liquid. Try to keep the momentum you have going for you now :)
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That's what I did. I have enough to get through today. Ill make a decision about tomorrow in the morning I guess.
 
I woke up this morning shaking moderately 15 hours after last Xanax dose. I feel a little better after getting my methadone dose down though. I wasn't able to get more so there is no time like the present I suppose. I will let you guys know if I die ;0
 
I woke up this morning shaking moderately 15 hours after last Xanax dose. I feel a little better after getting my methadone dose down though. I wasn't able to get more so there is no time like the present I suppose. I will let you guys know if I die ;0. If my connection is too be believed I have taken 10mgs Xanax since Thursday. I don't see how that's possible but he claims it to be true. If it is true then I am pretty fucked I imagine.
 
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Ive decided to draw this out for awhile and try to properly taper over the next month. As much as I want this over with I want to do this right. I feel I relapsed this time due to an inadequate taper. So I bought more today and if all goes well I should have my entire taper supply by mid week. Hopefully that comes to fruition.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Do you think you can taper and not binge on them?
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Yeah. I know I can not binge on them but tapering with short acting opiates is really difficult. Especially since what I currently have is liquid its hard to know exactly how much I am taking. Today ended up being a bit of a cheat day cause I drove my connect around and he kept feeding me bars lol. But tomorrow I am back on the taper for real. My goal is to jump off at .25 Xanax a day.
 
hey cj. sorry i havn't been around much. been pretty busy here lately.
just want to show you some love drew, and i know you can do it!
don't seize out on me dude!!
<3
 
Sorry I wasn't able to call you last weekend, I had a bit of a rough time myself dealing with the stresses of family, the holiday season and all the other bullshit I have to deal with in terms of life more generally. Luckily I didn't end up using and was able to take care of myself, all things considered. Going on a rather intense hike wasn't necessary the most skillful way to deal with the stress of life, but it sure beats getting loaded.

I tried to call you today, but try not to worry about not icing up. I will try and give you a call during the upcoming holiday when I am on vacation. Know I am sending you a lot of love and chill SoCal vibes :) <3
 
Thanks for the encouragement everyone. My current dose has stabilized at 2mg of Xanax a day or 1mg every 12 hours. When I use etazolam it can be slightly more because of its shorter halflife like 3 1mg doses a day though I really try to keep 1 of those doses at .5mg if I do that. My goal is to be down to .5mg 2 times a day by this time next month I just have no idea how to do that exactly. I also kinda feel like this regiment is helping my quality of life I am having thoughts of going back to a doctor to get a legit script. My therapist has been on my ass about me downplaying the severity of my anxiety and PTSD and she is right. I deserve to have those symptoms treated and if nothing else the last few weeks I have proven to myself that I can be responsible with my dosing for the most part as long as there isn't a crisis going on in my life.

I also realize I am at the point of no return where if I have supply problems I will have to seek immediate medical help. Which sucks but that's the game I have decided to play.
 
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