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Tapering Benzo withdrawal: Losing my mind

  • Thread starter Thread starter cj
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Just here to say i love ya buddy. Stay strong bro. Just gotta hang in there til Monday. If anything, you can go to the ER and tell them you're cold turkey withdrawing off of benzos or alcohol and they should give you a script for libium.
 
That's what you really need cj, as I've said before, is a script for Librium. It is fucked how hard it is to get to those in the most need though, especially on an outpatient basis.
 
cj said:
Obviously I have relapsed. I really kind soul ordered me some etizolam but it wont be here until Monday at the earliest. I can get more benzos sometime tomorrow but I haven't had any since midday yesterday. I am obviously feeling like death. Hopefully I don't have a seizure. Will drinking help at all on that front? I am just so tired of life. I am so tired of the constant struggle with mental health issues. I am tired of this shitty place I live. Tired of everything. Im going to eat Seroquel and hope it helps but I know it wont.
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Drinking will not help. It will only make things worse.

I wouldn't take seroquel either.
 
Cj, please, if seizures are even a possibility - go to the ER! Please don't take a gamble like that.

Im sending you all my good vibes and hoping that you are able to get healthy as soon as possible. We love you and do not want to lose you. I worry about you taking benzos and methadone together. Please be safe.

- VE
 
Go to the hospital cj. While alcohol may help a very little with the withdrawal while it is actively in your system, it will lower your seizure threshold even more while it leaves, and you will have to deal with the hangover on top of the benzo withdrawal.

This bouncing back and forth and running out of benzos is so terribly bad for you, please find some way to do a taper and get off them for good. Do you have anybody you can trust to administer them to you so you don't take more than you should and you don't run out? I'm not saying you're abusing them, just to ensure you stick to the taper. Also, having a second set of eyes on your schedule and the number of benzos you have can help ensure you don't run out.

Drinking is not going to help you get to Monday. Do you have any depakote or phenobarbital? If/when you go to the emergency room ask them if they can give you a prescription for depakote so you can take that the next time you run out.

Hang in there...I'll be thinking about you. Big hugs!
 
Go to a hospital/ER NOW. You run the risk of having a grand mal seizure and dying from benzo withdrawals. Drinking alcohol and taking other drugs and being depressed is not going to help and a lot people posting here are worried about you. Don't become a statistic. Get help.
 
No no no, definitely do NOT drink any alcohol! It will make you feel MUCH worse! Alcohol is a depressant and it will kill any seratonin or dopamine you have left. Unfortunately benzos is the only cure for benzo withdrawal. I take benzos every day because I have a scrip, as I have really bad anxiety. But if you want to get clean I suggest you do a slow taper. Again, you are not alone! We care about you! I specifically looked for this thread today so I could check on you. Hang in there and please, don't drink any alcohol!
 
I'm glad to hear you haven't had any siezures. My boyfriend has had 2 grand mal siezures from benzo withdrawal, each siezures was almost 5 minutes each. They are no joke. I would recommend that you don't drive, take it easy today. Call out of work. Just rest and try to relax and sleep if you can. If you can't find any benzos today and you feel like you can't take it anymore, go to the ER and they will help you. They have sick addicts in there all the time and they won't judge you. And because you're worried about siezures, maybe you have a girlfriend or friend who can come over and keep an eye on you today so you aren't alone if you do end up having a seizure.
 
Hang in there man. Look at how much support you are getting. Your withdrawal makes my opiate addiction look like I'm getting off pixie sticks. I hope that you know how strong of a man you are for batting this.

I don't know if I could handle it myself. I have extreme anxiety and daily panic attacks. I can take shit kicking after shit kicking, I can take clinical depression and borderline disorder, and excruciating chronic pain - but panic disorder that led to scripted benzo use is my true weakness. I simply couldn't handle it without a doctor supervised taper (which I plan on doing in the future over several years) and I think you must be a really tough guy to be toughing this out. Probably tougher than you give yourself credit for. Relapse with this is understandable and it sounds like you are really fighting.

Keep strong, and especially safe. I am sending you my best wishes.
 
Just so you all are aware, I have a game plan to helo cj stabilize and eventually detox his gabaergic substances dependency that I will be discussing with him later today. If he agrees to go along with my plans, know that he will be in very good hands and start to make some real progress sooner than later. The goal right now is for cj to get stabilized so he can begin to sort out the shit he needs to deal with in his life that is causing him to continue to need gabaergic substances to cope with life and regulate his mood. Good things are on the horizon, you may all rest assured. I've got a game plan put together I think he is going to be open to and willing to try at the very least.
 
JunkiePrincess27 said:
I'm glad to hear you haven't had any siezures. My boyfriend has had 2 grand mal siezures from benzo withdrawal, each siezures was almost 5 minutes each. They are no joke. I would recommend that you don't drive, take it easy today. Call out of work. Just rest and try to relax and sleep if you can. If you can't find any benzos today and you feel like you can't take it anymore, go to the ER and they will help you. They have sick addicts in there all the time and they won't judge you. And because you're worried about siezures, maybe you have a girlfriend or friend who can come over and keep an eye on you today so you aren't alone if you do end up having a seizure.
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God damn that's scary. I was able to acquire enough to stop the immediate danger but I have to figure this shit out asap. Heroin withdrawal wasn't fun but this is on a different level.

5 minutes after dosing. all is right again with my brain. addictive drugs are truly horrifying things to play with.

im open to all things up to and including open lobotomies at this point.
 
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swilow said:
I think stabilising your dose is vital cj.
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agreed. The problem is the Xanax is liquid which makes accurate dosing a chore. I took a little too much earlier and I am barely high. Im going to shoot for that being my only dose today and to dose super low tomorrow just enough to keep me sane. Xanax is just a horrible drug to taper with because of half life and it being liquid. But I have to make this work or I am looking at rehab with a 170mg methadone habit :/. I don't even want to consider that honestly.
 
cj said:
God damn that's scary. I was able to acquire enough to stop the immediate danger but I have to figure this shit out asap. Heroin withdrawal wasn't fun but this is on a different level.

5 minutes after dosing. all is right again with my brain. addictive drugs are truly horrifying things to play with.

im open to all things up to and including open lobotomies at this point.
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If you're open to all things go to a rehab or hospital. Self dosing benzos yourself is extremely unsafe, and you need to be looked after by doctors that can monitor you.
 
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alpha_centauri said:
If you're open to all things go to a rehab or hospital. Self dosing benzos yourself is extremely unsafe, and you need to be looked after by doctors that can monitor you.
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I feel you and you may be right. However I'm hesitant be a use I'm on 170mg of methadone for over a year now. That's a scary jump to mske
 
cj said:
I feel you and you may be right. However I'm hesitant be a use I'm on 170mg of methadone for over a year now. That's a scary jump to mske
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I've been saying it for a while, that you should really use this as an opportunity to get off of methadone as well.

It's your choice but I think you would really benefit from getting off everything.
 
I would really recommend looking into Valerian. It is killing the fuck out of my panic disorder and I sometimes even use it as a benzo substitute - fellow benzo addict here, and it strongly interacts with and potentiates benzos as well, so I've been able to get by on a lower dose.

Just trying to help. I don't mean to downplay what you are going through, as it is truly extreme in every sense of the word, but I was shocked that something natural could relieve my anxiety almost well as well as drugs I've been taking for years. I've been using Valerian liquid phytocaps... if you're in hardcore withdrawals I swear it would help take the edge off in high doses. It acts on Gaba A and even has affinity for the benzodiazepine receptor if I'm not mistaken. From any health food or supplement store, marketed as a sleep aid.
 
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