Obviously I have relapsed. I really kind soul ordered me some etizolam but it wont be here until Monday at the earliest. I can get more benzos sometime tomorrow but I haven't had any since midday yesterday. I am obviously feeling like death. Hopefully I don't have a seizure. Will drinking help at all on that front? I am just so tired of life. I am so tired of the constant struggle with mental health issues. I am tired of this shitty place I live. Tired of everything. Im going to eat Seroquel and hope it helps but I know it wont.
I'm glad to hear you haven't had any siezures. My boyfriend has had 2 grand mal siezures from benzo withdrawal, each siezures was almost 5 minutes each. They are no joke. I would recommend that you don't drive, take it easy today. Call out of work. Just rest and try to relax and sleep if you can. If you can't find any benzos today and you feel like you can't take it anymore, go to the ER and they will help you. They have sick addicts in there all the time and they won't judge you. And because you're worried about siezures, maybe you have a girlfriend or friend who can come over and keep an eye on you today so you aren't alone if you do end up having a seizure.
I think stabilising your dose is vital cj.
God damn that's scary. I was able to acquire enough to stop the immediate danger but I have to figure this shit out asap. Heroin withdrawal wasn't fun but this is on a different level.
5 minutes after dosing. all is right again with my brain. addictive drugs are truly horrifying things to play with.
im open to all things up to and including open lobotomies at this point.
If you're open to all things go to a rehab or hospital. Self dosing benzos yourself is extremely unsafe, and you need to be looked after by doctors that can monitor you.
I feel you and you may be right. However I'm hesitant be a use I'm on 170mg of methadone for over a year now. That's a scary jump to mske