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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Gibz: Go on, you know you want to! You're right I do, boo! <3

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I'll never forget the night my mum died. Although I'd moved out years previously for some reason I was staying at there house in my old bedroom and my dad woke me at about 4:00am and said there's something wrong with your mum will you look at her. Anyway she had stopped breathing and virtually no pulse and despite trying every trick I've even heard of could do nothing neither could the ambulance crew with drugs or defib......

This haunts me to this day, I miss her so much :(
 
Aw 74, I'm so sorry! No one really knows what it's like to lose their mum until it actually happens.

My mother was a massive fan of dark humour. I remember sitting outside the hospital with my cousin and we were making each other laugh at who my mother would haunt etc, and crying knowing she'd approve of such jokes. It was very bitter sweet. I can't thank him enough for making me laugh when all I wanted to do was die inside. She defiantly would have approved.

I held her hand as she died. I am forever grateful that I was able to be there though. I lived in Germany at the time and her in the states.

I miss her so much.
 
I know your mum is. She must have been a great woman to have raised a son as wonderful as you. You give back so much. As a mother I can honestly say, that'a a very proud thing! You gave heart to your child, the encouragement to help others when they cannot help themselves and the strength to do so.

Not saying it was all down to your mum, that's pretty much all down to you but she did plant the seeds to create a wonderful man. The last bit was all you <3
 
Thank you Sadie that's a lovely thing to say. I remember how proud she was of me when I first qualified. I'd like to think I've tried to live a good life and help others when ever I can but I'll be honest with you I feel broken inside. Maybe one day things will be different.

There's so much pain and hurt in the world that if you can't do anything to help other people then you may as well not be here.

I'd give anything to have her back though.....

Much love <3
 
There is only so much hurt one can see in the world and only so much a person can give of themselves to make it better. Wounds will make their mark but I have every confidence that you'll get past that.

You're not broken, people have the right to feelings. We have the right to say, you know what, today, I'm gonna take care of myself, I need to. Sometimes a break is needed. You need to re-group as it were. Never a bad thing, in fact, usually the best thing. The worst thing would be to burn out.

You do an amazing job! A very thankless one on the front probably but privately you've been thanked a million times over!

I know what you mean about wanting your mum back. I can't believe mine has been gone so long. She was such a funny and intelligent woman. Sarcastic with the darkest sense of humour and the warmest heart I've ever known.

Your mother did a fantastic job with you! She would be incredibly proud!!!!!! I know I would be if you were my son but I'm too fucking young for that, don't get any ideas! I'm younger than you! ;)
 
Allein said:
I guess if you commit your life to someone you may have to face that in the end, you save them from it in doing so.

We lost a close friend recently, she was one half of a couple we've known for 20+ years and probably the closest friends I have despite them not living very near. She was diagnosed with lung cancer and died in 6 weeks, 2 children and a partner who is just inconsolable. I was one of those to carry the coffin at her funeral, it was a tough day, she had a little time to make plans, we even managed to get her to Strawberry Fair in the sunshine.

She had this played at the end of the funeral which was a big tune from the free parties we used to go to together, I still can't believe she has gone, I loved her so very much but she had her time to shine and shine she did.

I have a daughter just about to turn 13, I've seen no indication of romance as yet but I'm getting my head round it in advance....I have tactics ;)


It is fekin snowing outside...cheek of it
Click to expand...

Sorry for your loss:( Was going to say so when I returned n see how you were doing but you werenn't around Bluelight.

Evey
 
Thanks Sadie your a good person. Your mum would be proud to have raised a daughter with such a kind heart and that's the noblest thing a human can have. It's been an awful year and it's not over yet but I just hope the changes I've made this year are for the better regardless of how hard it's been and that I'll be back to myself soon. I love work very much but maybe it's time to do something different. I'd rather stay with the ambulance service in some capacity but maybe my days as a paramedic are over. I've been doing this shit a long time and the stress is incredible.... From the constant high speed driving to the utter carnage that you sometimes witness when you get there. The NHS isn't what it was but maybe I can make a difference in other ways... Arghhh I just don't know.... We'll see.

Thank you for you lovely kind words though <3
 
well after months of trying to get charlie back guess what the sick bastards wont let me have him but i will not give up instead i now have a new member of my family she is called smokey a small tortoiseshell 6 or 7 week old ball of fun very loving and play full but it hurts like fuck i keep calling her charlie by mistake but like ive said i am not going to stop trying he is mine and they have no rights to keep him from so hopefully i will have two cats soon and then she can get the full attention she deserves
 
You can get lost codeine
You're taste is bloody mean
So you space me out
You're better if of you there was a drought

You are manipulative
So slip through my finger like a siv
You disgust me so
Just bloody go

You think you can mesmerise me
When you're transparent you're tactics so clear to me

I'm back on the suboxone
So you're no longer in the zone
Subs has power over you
And there's nothing you can do

Codeine: you blasted my world once
You're now a ghost, continuing many haunts
You do not get to destroy me twice
You see i have my pest contron, subs rubs your taunts like lice

Oh codeine fade, fade, fade
You were once made but now you are broken
Your power of me has gone l,
I've broken you, your spell has gone

Oh codeine fade, fade, fade away
And away you must stay, stay, stay
You were once made but now you are broken,
You were once ace but now you are done
You were once made but now you are broken,
Now you are broken.

Evey 21/11/2015

"One has to fly through the glaw of endless abyss before one can truly seek serenity n bliss"
One has to open ones hes
Art to negativity in order to find positivity
One has to swim the icy cold oceans in order to fly the goden skies of sunset:: full of endless golds, pinks"
One has to open their heart to let in the world before the world can let in that lonesom heart
One has to start i. The face of darkness n feel the full force of the fall before one is able to climb, with grace, morality n respect, out into the light. The light that will
Blind them of their evil whilem embracing them in their arm of mother nature's beauty, forgiveness n unconditional love"

A loada bollox n drive by Evey 21/11/2015

-----------
Some more writing. Just to say it's not to sway anyone's thoughts n I apologise if people feel that way. It's some tamblings. Here goes.



If one was to sit inside the sun
Seeing the whole world below
Her heart is enlarging,
There is so much beauty, Tranquilly, serenity,
So she wonders how she can hoild it all in her hesrt so,
For her heart is only tiny compared with all of this?
She misunderstands so,
She is being manipulated by ego
"Your heart is connected to the source n the source to your heart" everthing is ALREADY in your heart just as it is out of your heart.
She wonders is more more sensitive to all the love, serenity n beauty because she is placed in the sub
Again, she misunderstands so;
You are aware because you are opening you heart to the source. You're understand that your love n compassion is not yours n yours alone but you are a visual vehicle in the visual plane sharing the positivity of the source as many other - to assume one is responsible for their talents n doing, alone, are in the hands of ego n thus move away from the. source. Everything one does is through spirit---we're separate, only is visibility but really are the tangled spider-web of universal, spiritual-abundance.
 
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foolsgold said:
well after months of trying to get charlie back guess what the sick bastards wont let me have him but i will not give up instead i now have a new member of my family she is called smokey a small tortoiseshell 6 or 7 week old ball of fun very loving and play full but it hurts like fuck i keep calling her charlie by mistake but like ive said i am not going to stop trying he is mine and they have no rights to keep him from so hopefully i will have two cats soon and then she can get the full attention she deserves
Click to expand...

I know this is gibs and not the music thread. I posted this not long ago for someone else...

Still... It works.

No one ever will know what another is actually going through. It's impossible to know what dragons they are slaying as it were..

Imagine Dragons -Demons
 
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