Thanks for the replies everyone. Day 9 now I think. I actually slept last night! Although I fell asleep at 4AM and woke up at 1:00PM. Not the most normal sleep schedule, but getting better. I don't want to take any pills for the actual insomnia. I know the sleep will come back naturally and I want my brain chemicals to naturally get back to normal. The anxiety is the real problem and what always made me relapse.
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H&R Moderators: streaM Freak
How I skipped the worst of the WDs from H
- Thread starter dooggie
- Start date
closeau
Bluelighter
I'm coming off my opiates right now this time with my pain Drs assistance. Going slowly. I've done it cold turkey but never again and I'm not going to suboxone clinic. Been there, done that. That shit is bad. Hopefully if we keep going slow I shouldn't feel much but I'm on day 3 of only coming down 2 pills a day and I can feel it. Plus I didn't do myself any favors by going on binge before and that just raised my tolerance. I'm using DXM to let it does what it does. Sure helps and I have some Kratom if I feel too bad but I just want off these pills. First of all I can't handle them and secondly I have opiod induced hyperalgsia. So I'm in more pain with opiates not less. I think it's a sign from God that I got this. I've been to rehab twice and in and out of AA for 9 years. I look forward to getting clean again. I do have chronic pain but I'll have to live with it. Cannabis really helps a lot of things with me. I'll prob use cannabis and Kratom for awhile to get over that added depression that can linger after opiates are out. Keep popping in meetings and stay connected. I want my life back but I'm in a good situation. If you're out there and wanna be clean or semi clean you can do it. Trust in yourself and WANT it for yourself and nothing can stop you.
closeau
Bluelighter
My post should have been in a different thread. I posted it in another thread. Why is it here? You can tell cause it doesn't fit in flow of thread. Well now that y'all know everything about me, dooggie, you will fing forgiveness if you keep at the clean thing. Time heals all. Takes time. If you ever wanna take a pill for sleep try Trazadone. It works great for me and if you take it 12 hrs before you wanna get up you'll fall asleep within 30 min of taking it and stay asleep all night. Might have some grogginess in morning. I don't know why but Xanax seems to be the most addicting benzo. I know their basically all the same more or less but idk about xanex. I'm on Kolonopin 1mg 3x day. I'm probably gonna have to do something when I'm completly off opiates and that anxiety and depression set in. I see my dr Tuesday so she will know. Maybe up my lithium. I have Drs at my disposal so might as well use them to make this least suckie as possible. I was doing good and found 4 15mg Oxys so I took um. I hate that! Now I've jacked up my tolerance. Tomorrow is gonna suck. Like I said, using DXM and have Kratom waiting for when my tolerance drops. I know y'all know I've been to rehab twice and AA and all that now but I believe in cannabis. I'll be using that to help after opiates are gone. I can't find any right now. I got a long way to go on opiates and see my dr Tuesday of next week so we'll see. Dooggie,I'm proud of you man. You've gotten clean and everything you want will come in time. I never thought people were gonna forgive me but they did. You've kicked the substance, now it's just consistency. You got it man. Get off the Xanax if you can. I don't wanna come off as hypocrite but those bars will grab you. I have horrid panic attacks if I don't take mine and I don't take them for sleep. Try Trazadone. Doing good man. Life will open up and be beautiful!
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
You sure it's not the DXM that's confusing you? j/k much love closeau 
I only have bouts of anxiety when im WDing. When I am not, I take xanax only when I have a panic attack or something of the sort. I am have a clean mind right now even though I took 2mg of xanax to try to calm down and sleep before 3AM. Someday soon my sleep schedule will be back to normalcy even though its not too bad now. When I came off of suboxone, it took me 1 month to stop WDing from that crap. I don't like to say bad things to people who take it, but it is really a hard drug to come off of. I had to go to inpatient for suboxone and it took me 28 days to feel as normal as I do now 9 days sober from H. Riddle me that
Blahhhh 2:00AM now. Don't feel any physical pain and the 2 xanax bars has helped the anxiety immensely. I have been applying for jobs all day. Ironically, I am a pretty smart person, how I got myself into this mess is far beyond my understanding. Opiates suck. I can't wait to have a month under my belt. I feel like after a month its smooth sailing. I missed lots of things this summer because I was using. Fucked up a relationship with a good girl. I am determined for this to be over behind me and it always completely is.
manboychef
Bluelighter
You will find that most addicts are not stupid at all. You have to have creativity, cunning, and adaptability to keep an opiate addiction up for any length of time.
Doogie: Don't think about what you have lost, or what you need. Think about what you have. It will help your anxiety quite a bit at this stage of the game.
@closeu. I feel the same about suboxone. I had a similar experience with it, however it is a godsend to some people. You will achieve sobriety again. Don't get caught up in how bad you think the withdrawals are going to be or they will be that bad. Think about ways to minimize them in your mind, or focus on something else entirely (I know it is a Sisyphean feat, but can be accomplished)
Doogie: Don't think about what you have lost, or what you need. Think about what you have. It will help your anxiety quite a bit at this stage of the game.
@closeu. I feel the same about suboxone. I had a similar experience with it, however it is a godsend to some people. You will achieve sobriety again. Don't get caught up in how bad you think the withdrawals are going to be or they will be that bad. Think about ways to minimize them in your mind, or focus on something else entirely (I know it is a Sisyphean feat, but can be accomplished)
closeau
Bluelighter
What I don't understand about suboxone is how expensive it is. I mean, it's supposed to help people. The little time I was on it I was paying out the ass. Even with my new prescription coverage it's a teir 4 drug which means it's expensive. I'm glad I won't be needing it. Taper is going ok. Mostly pchycological issues. Body is fine. Getting ready to go down another Dilaudid tomorrow. I'm inpatient and just want it to be done but I know that's not how it works with opiates. Can't take DXM. Maybe gel caps but liquid makes my ostomy go crazy. Oh well. Dooggie you'll be free and clear soon. Manboychef was right about addicts. You'll get a month and your anxiety will lift in time and you can create new wonderful memories!!! Good luck
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Have you tried to get subutex instead? The generic is super duper cheap and most doctors will be okay prescribing it instead of suboxone for cost reasons. At least those that don't have their head too far up their ass...
Have you tried Baclofen or Neurontin/Pregabalin to deal with withdrawal closeau? Those drugs are damn cheap (maybe with the exception of pregabalin actually) and work really well just as long as one isn't in the relative minority that gets undesirable side effects (life getting knocked out or depression). Baclofen works really, really well as long as one doesn't take too much.
Have you tried Baclofen or Neurontin/Pregabalin to deal with withdrawal closeau? Those drugs are damn cheap (maybe with the exception of pregabalin actually) and work really well just as long as one isn't in the relative minority that gets undesirable side effects (life getting knocked out or depression). Baclofen works really, really well as long as one doesn't take too much.
closeau
Bluelighter
I've never tried subtex. Maybe I can bring it up to my dr next Tuesday. I have been on neurontin or gabapentin. They used it years ago to try to control my pain. Subtex sounds good but what happens getting off of that? I heard it's hard and now that I have this hyperalgesia, I need opiates out of system. I heard Clonidine is good for Withdrawl symptoms. I could get that easily. Don't know what Baclofen is but I'll look it up. If me and dr stay on course I shouldn't feel much of anything. Right now what I feel is mental and hating having to get off meds cause I'm in pain but the pain meds are causing the pain with me so I'm fucked. I'm prob gonna go with clonidine. Go to pcp this week so I'm covered. Thanks for the tips and wish me luck!
Good luck closeau.
2:00AM again. Didn't sleep last night but slept from much of the whole day. Woke up feeling refreshed. What is wrong with me? Why can't I sleep at night and just be awake during the day. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
Day 11 is tomorrow now? Still sneezing and have a runny nose. That's annoying.
2:00AM again. Didn't sleep last night but slept from much of the whole day. Woke up feeling refreshed. What is wrong with me? Why can't I sleep at night and just be awake during the day. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
Day 11 is tomorrow now? Still sneezing and have a runny nose. That's annoying.
swilow
Bluelight Crew
I've used MXE during mild codeine withdrawal and it did not make any major difference. I felt 'distant' from the WD but it was still present. Perhaps the more stimulating aspects of MXE didn't help.
closeau
Bluelighter
Hang in there dooggie. You're almost thru. Runny nose used to drive me crazy. Sleeping too. These are problems but I personally feel if you use another drug to alleviate your symptoms like other people are suggesting you'll put yourself back. I've been thru opiate Withdrawl a few times and alcohol Withdrawl that almost killed me and would have if I hadn't made it to ER. It's funny, alcohol Withdrawl ain't pleasant but can kill you and opiate Withdrawl won't kill you but it feels like it!! Stay the course my man. Xanax is ok I think but try to keep going. There's really no way around what you're going thru right now. But before you know it you'll be sleeping and your nose will dry up and you'll be free. Best of luck to you and I'll keep checking on your posts.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Yea, I've heard from others that MXE and Ketamine didn't help much at all during withdrawal but DXM did. And yet others who had absolutely horrible experiences with one or all three when they tried them for kicking. I think like only 1/3 of 1/3 of the people who try DXM/MXE/Ketamine for any reason like and tolerate it, so this stuff certainly isn't a panacea for opioid withdrawal. I am very happy with how much it's helped me in the past, but at the same time it is a huge commitment when I've had to use it - like I can't just use it and function otherwise normally like I can with other meds during opioid withdrawal. The DXM make it so I have to devote entire days to not having to function much, even though I'm feeling absolutely fine, just because I am not able to think normally.
manboychef
Bluelighter
This is so true. It is a lot like growing a fruiting tree. Once you plant it you water and check it everyday for like four five months...nothing happens. Then a year or so later you go back to it and its actually grown quite a bit without you noticing
closeau
Bluelighter
Word
Maybe my last post. We'll see. I was just offered salary at a firm. Went there yesterday to sign a few papers. Anyway enough humble bragging. Thanks so much everyone for being there. Took my last bar yesterday. I guess this is 15 days clean. Let's see how today goes with no bars
closeau
Bluelighter
Well dooggie, good luck to you. That's awesome you got a good job. The bars shouldn't make a difference by now. You're thru the worst of it. Sleeping will return to normal soon. It was a pleasure getting to get to know you. I hope and pray you stick with it and come out on top. Remember, I'm always here to listen so if you're in a bind or had a bad day, you know how to find me. Good luck bro. May the Angels be with you my friend?