Look I get it, I have been there, that is why it is hard. The point is not to stay away from heroin so to speak. It is that you have an addiction, and a strong one at that. Use oxy or heroin the result will be the same, the oxy will get you there quicker, and eventually you will make the switch regardless of what we say. Then you will be using and the thing I warned you about) tolerance eventually going up so high you start to look for other solutions. This is where the brain goes: "Well I don't want to use needles... but heroin is twice as strong IV as it is nasally, so if I switched to IV I would only have to do half as much... that means I could stretch my money twice as far!"
Then you do the needle thing for a while and it is amazing, unlike anything you have ever experienced. And the heroin game is a nightmare, you never know how good the quality is going to be, or is you are going to get a small bag and they say it is going to be strong but it turns out to be weak as shit, and that goes on for months, and you are barely keeping yourself from getting sick, then your dealer says the same shit they always say: "yo, this shit is different shit, it is really strong don't do the whole bag." You look at the bag and it is even smaller! Then you are like that fucker! Damnit! They just shorted me on a fucking bag!
But this time it turns out to be a fent-laced bag and you shoot the whole thing PRAYING for a tiny rush. But that is it. Game over, you don't wake up this time. Do you see how easy it was for me to write all that? Almost like I had lived it before? It is because I have. The only difference being I got lucky and woke up. Do you think that stopped me? HELL NO. I had to keep going, but I got scared so I went back to oxy so this way I could be sure. But then before long the money problem gets me again, so reluctantly and fully knowing I am risking my life I go back to dope.
This is the fucking cycle of addiction. It will take EVERYTHING away from you. Imagine doing all this shit but trying to maintain a job, or a marriage, or anything else that you care about. The scary thing is the problems it causes are so fucking bad suicide becomes a very viable option. And the thing is you have the perfect, most painless way to kill yourself. And maybe you try, and maybe you succeeded. Maybe you don't and the cycle continues. These words might not mean anything to you because you have not lived them, but just typing them makes me want to stay the FUCK away from it... AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE.
You don't know what pain is until you hit rock bottom, and you don't know what depression is until you have broken through rock bottom, and you don't know what wishing you were dead is like until you are so deep you can not even jump as high as you can and reach bottom. The saddest thing about addiction is you have a million people here warning you DON'T DO IT. But you will. And I am so sorry for you... you need treatment. That is the only thing that save you from this lifetime of hell. But you wont go. I just typed all this shit for no reason. Everyone here will applaud me, you will say you understand and you are going to change on your own. But you will live your life the way you want. Prove me wrong. Go to rehab tmrw. It will not happen. That is how powerful addiction is. I am not being pessimistic... I just KNOW because I have been there, and you have not, and that is how it works.