Heroin How to get more out of Oxy/avoid switching to heroin?

[shadowstryker]

Dude, he is trying to help you. I know you think you want this now... I remember how bad I did... now I wish I had never taken that first lortab. I lost a marriage because of opiates... just know that when it finally ruins your life, bluelight will be here. And we will still help you. When it comes to addiction there is never an I told you so, it is just how can we fix this now?

It eventually came down to him saying he'd rather see me shot to death in the city or die of an OD on some random person's bag than be responsible for me getting heroin, which makes no sense to me because this guy's bags are usually pretty clean I hear. And damn does it piss me off, I couldn't even pay him to give me the number, and this guy needs money I'm pretty sure...

 

[crzydiamond]

^^and does that not tell you something? you may not see it now, but that friend is a REAL friend who has your best interests at heart.

He may not be able to stop you but he isn't going to be the one responsible for putting you on that downward spiral. Quit pestering him for the number--do you really want to put that kind of guilt on your friend knowing he would be the one who started you if you OD or get locked up and get a record that ruins you career wise ? Do you want him to have to face your family at your funeral carrying that burden?

If we (strangers on a forum) see clearly where you are headed I'm sure your friend does as well. I mean, you're acting like a fiend and you haven't even done heroin yet?!

Just one question for you. You said you just don't see the storms ahead on this road. May I ask, in all seriousness, where exactly do you see yourself ending up in a year? Three years? Five years? What's your endgame plan for heroin use? ...(or are you the 18 yr old invincible it won't happen to me and I don't look past tomorrow)

 

[shadowstryker]

^^and does that not tell you something? you may not see it now, but that friend is a REAL friend who has your best interests at heart.

He may not be able to stop you but he isn't going to be the one responsible for putting you on that downward spiral. Quit pestering him for the number--do you really want to put that kind of guilt on your friend knowing he would be the one who started you if you OD or get locked up and get a record that ruins you career wise ? Do you want him to have to face your family at your funeral carrying that burden?

If we (strangers on a forum) see clearly where you are headed I'm sure your friend does as well. I mean, you're acting like a fiend and you haven't even done heroin yet?!

Just one question for you. You said you just don't see the storms ahead on this road. May I ask, in all seriousness, where exactly do you see yourself ending up in a year? Three years? Five years? What's your endgame plan for heroin use? ...(or are you the 18 yr old invincible it won't happen to me and I don't look past tomorrow)

I see myself in a similar place I am now. Just trying to finish college and float through life right now. I hear heroin is practically the same as Oxy in terms of recreational use, yet cheaper, and that's good enough reason for me to go find some. I don't understand why he'd feel guilty, we all make our own choices. I have no end-game plan for my use. That's like asking what you plan to do with the "knowledge" you gain from watching TV all night or something.

 

[Mad Dash]

You will not finish college my friend. I nearly did not finish. I had to have my brother move in as my room mate in order to keep me clean enough to finish school. I lost 2 full semesters because my only TRUE goal was to get dope. You are worried about your scholarship by going to rehab? Try losing it because you can't keep your grades up because of drugs and then see what you friends and family think.

 

[shadowstryker]

You will not finish college my friend. I nearly did not finish. I had to have my brother move in as my room mate in order to keep me clean enough to finish school. I lost 2 full semesters because my only TRUE goal was to get dope. You are worried about your scholarship by going to rehab? Try losing it because you can't keep your grades up because of drugs and then see what you friends and family think.

Right now grades are still a priority for me. I wouldn't think it'd get bad enough to make me drop out. Be low on cash, probably, but I'm sure my grades will be secure. I'm rooming with my best friend too so I'm sure he'd keep me in check if any of that ever happened.

As a side note, is it normal to be really depressed the next day after using again?

 

[ThaDudeAbides]

Assumptions of the mother of all fuck ups. You assume you will be able to manage a dope habit all throughout college? You don't need an end game? You plan to just keep using and using and float by life? Prepare to be homeless. You need treatment so bad it's not even funny. That would be a great gift to your parents. My parents sleep better now that I got my affairs in order and am working a life of recovery. The stress I put them through on drugs could have killed them. I'm in my 30's now. I've been abusing drugs for 17yrs. They nearly killed me. Have caused me to lose almost all my friends and I could have lost my parents had they not cared enough. They could have easily written me off and I wouldn't have blamed them. I read your posts and your logic at times sounds like mine was when I was deep into dope. That shit permanently fucked me for life. Not a day goes by that I wanna get high. I have to try very hard to resist using. Drugs still dominate my thoughts. It's not a fun life bro and you're heading down the same path. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH DRUGS! Obsession of the mind is part of addiction and it sucks.

And now I read you're depressed after a night of using again. Addiction is going to tell you to use more to get rid of that feeling. You're in denial beyond belief. You think you're special and dope won't effect your life like it did so many others. I find it sad. I truly care for you or I wouldn't bother replying. At the end of the day BL will still be here to help you. But you should consider treatment ASAP.

 

[crzydiamond]

Yes it's completely normal. That dopamine that floods your receptors makes you feel great. When it's gone, you feel lower than baseline. Like a seesaw, in very general terms. It's just part of why it's so hard to not use back to back days

Eventually your brain chemistry changes and produces much worse withdrawal symptoms. The depression is one of the very first mild ones

I know where you're coming from. I started heroin at 19. Went from all As deans list to dropping out 2 years later cause I was in jail when the semester started. Then had to go to rehab. For my mom, it was such a shock...she never saw it coming. I was like the golden child who was supposed to succeed...and instead was like that porcelain doll you treasure on a pedestal , once it falls and shatters it's never quite the same...

The likelihood of getting arrested while cold copping in the city is pretty high. Hopefully you won't have to call your family from jail for them to find out

 

[shadowstryker]

Yes it's completely normal. That dopamine that floods your receptors makes you feel great. When it's gone, you feel lower than baseline. Like a seesaw, in very general terms. It's just part of why it's so hard to not use back to back days

Eventually your brain chemistry changes and produces much worse withdrawal symptoms. The depression is one of the very first mild ones

I know where you're coming from. I started heroin at 19. Went from all As deans list to dropping out 2 years later cause I was in jail when the semester started. Then had to go to rehab. For my mom, it was such a shock...she never saw it coming. I was like the golden child who was supposed to succeed...and instead was like that porcelain doll you treasure on a pedestal , once it falls and shatters it's never quite the same...

The likelihood of getting arrested while cold copping in the city is pretty high. Hopefully you won't have to call your family from jail for them to find out

Okay, I was just making sure because I've never gotten that kind of depression after using like I did today. I had a couple people ask why I was so slow/down compared to usual today, so I guess it was pretty noticeable too. Your story sounds pretty similar to me. I doubt any of my family would suspect what I do in my free time, which I partially never want them to know. I was always the smart one of the family that just didn't care, but was always viewed with potential. Hell, I'll be the only one in my family with a degree that's projected to make a decent amount of money (CS Degree). I just don't see it as big enough of a problem to cause so much trouble by telling them. Then they'd want me to go to rehab, and I'd more than likely have to drop out of my classes, or promise that I'd never use again, and I just can't do that. I don't want to do that.

 

[crzydiamond]

Yeah I hated that back then, everyone wanting you to make promises you know you're never going to keep

It's hard at college age to see consequences. Like for me--I went to school and was home during the summers and worked during the summers to have spending money. Which once I really started drugs usually went to drugs. But see, that was ok then. I didn't have bills, I didn't have a child to support, I had a roof over my head and all I really had to do was go to school which was pretty easy for me and left me tons of free time to kill by getting high

A lot of college kids do the same. But they do it recreationally--when it's there it's there. If it's not it's not. Then they grow up and move on.

Some though, get the obsession. Fall in love with opiates. For us it's different. It becomes the focus. It's not "if it's there" but "what can I do to find some"--be it other people's medicine cabinets, buying pills, copping dope...at 19 I learned where to go in North Philly for the good dope and never really looked back

You sound like one who has been "bit" by the opiate bug. And quite honestly you sound like me years ago. We aren't like other college kids who can sample and put it down. That's why I've responded to you even though I know once you have that feeling nothing anyone says makes a difference. I had people 10-15-20 years older than me in rehab try and talk sense into me. I was by far the youngest back then--it wasn't like today with young people's rehab and such. I couldn't see far enough down the road to see me ending up like them.

It's very hard to want to stop at your age simply because you won't experience the "losing everything" that drives most people to quit. And while I don't wish it on you, years from now you'll probably look back and have that eureka moment and know what i am trying to say

It progresses fast though. I went from sniffing at 19 to waking up in an ambulance from an OD at 21. (Back when philly had fentanyl cut h in the 90s).

Oxy, heroin, any opiate will take you down. Heroin just tends to do it faster.

But once you start that dance with opiates you fall in love. It will become your best (only) friend, your lover, your family, your hobby, your job, your life. You'll get up thinking of it (how to get some where to get money who to call...), you'll think of it all day. When you're high you'll think how to get the next.

I know the allure, and I know it never ends up good. But...if you can...for as long as you can do your damnedest to not use back to back days. Using heroin is much better when you are not physically dependent. The longer you don't use back to back days, the longer you'll stave off physical dependency. That's about the best you can shoot for now...

 

[LilikoiMoon]

Impurities in heroin is what's scary to me. Unless you have a decent, honest dealer, chances are the cut is so stepped on.

I've been doing a lot of photography/research with heroin lately. I've met several IV users (each HEP C positive, one HIV couple) and two snorters.

I've seen some H turn black/brown in the spoon, then watched IV users actually inject the crap. I've seen some clear, some cloudy, etc.

One girl was sent to ER and her bloodwork came back with the same substances used in chrome cleaner. Chrome cleaner!!!

Not saying oxy is better. Of course RX meds come with fillers and such. However, IV'ing H is like playing russian roulette due to purity.

Just my 2 cents...

P.S. The addicts I've researched were once beautiful/handsome, had careers, families...they're homeless now, or living in tents and have lost everything. All started out with oxycodone habits, then moved on to H because it was cheaper. All are in bad health now...some have had abcesses that's put them in ICU, their health is so bad with Hep C/HIV. It's really sad because heroin is putting all of them in an early grave.

 

[smallengine01]

This is my first post here, but I second what everyone here is telling you NOT to try H. My story is just like all the others; started w hydrocodone, moved to oxy, then H. It never became a problem until the heroin came around. Can you honestly afford spending $1000's a month just to not get sick? Near the end I wasn't even getting high anymore no matter how much I did. Luckily I pulled my head out of my ass and got into methadone treatment bc even when I kicked cold turkey I'd be back at it (forgetting the horrible withdrawals) in about a week. I should have died numerous times from doing too much and mixing it w/ benzos and alcohol.
The only place it will take you is rehab if you're lucky and the grave if you're not.
I know you won't take my advice, but quit while you're ahead and everyone you know and love doesn't think of you as a junky.

-themechanic

 

[shadowstryker]

This is my first post here, but I second what everyone here is telling you NOT to try H. My story is just like all the others; started w hydrocodone, moved to oxy, then H. It never became a problem until the heroin came around. Can you honestly afford spending $1000's a month just to not get sick? Near the end I wasn't even getting high anymore no matter how much I did. Luckily I pulled my head out of my ass and got into methadone treatment bc even when I kicked cold turkey I'd be back at it (forgetting the horrible withdrawals) in about a week. I should have died numerous times from doing too much and mixing it w/ benzos and alcohol.
The only place it will take you is rehab if you're lucky and the grave if you're not.
I know you won't take my advice, but quit while you're ahead and everyone you know and love doesn't think of you as a junky.

-themechanic

I was able to calculate it out earlier that, with current expenses, I could afford $150-$200 a week for opiates, whether it be heroin or Oxy or whatever. With prices being where they are right now, however, that low of a budget doesn't leave me with many options. I just don't feel that rehab is right for me right now when I don't think I even have that big of a problem yet.

 

[smallengine01]

I don't think you would necessarily need rehab yet, it might even be a bad idea to go to one. Reason being is that you'll come into contact with a bunch of people who are experienced drug users and they might lead you down the wrong road. I've seen plenty of stories on here about people going to rehab w/ an oral pill addiction and coming out shooting dope b/c one of their new junkie friends from rehab showed them how.
You might want to check out AA/NA if you can tolerate it, their heart is usually in the right place. Plus you can make acquaintances/friends w people who have some sober time and have been there and can give you some advice. Also there are tons of meetings so if you're feeling like you need to use you can hit up a meeting for some reinforcement. It worked for me to stop drinking even though I don't buy everything they spout off about it was good.
I definitely understand how awesome opiates can make you feel, just stick w/ the oxy. Maybe try plugging or some methods to potentate the pills or throw in a benzo or two increase the high. Just stay away from the brown, its a long road to nowhere. Oh, and once you try heroin the pills will never cut it again unless you take a crazy amount and even then not so much. So once you cross that line you won't go back to pills.
Good luck man, I wish I was in your shoes, a month clean.... id run away from that shit as fast as I could!!

 

[aced126]

OP, I'm sure you've read plenty of stories of people in your exact same situation, using pharmaceuticals and switching to H once the former becomes impractical. It's actually good right now that your financial situation is preventing you from taking more oxy. If you switch to H you'll just end up taking it more and at a higher frequency because at first the habit will be easier to sustain than using oxy. Eventually you'll end up using it daily and won't be able to escape. Listen to what everyone else is telling you on this thread and run while you can.

 

[Johndoedoe.junk]

Shadowstryker, sent you a PM man.

 

[shadowstryker]

Here's a realization I came to during an acid trip last night: yes, I'm an addict. But at the same time I'm a normal person, and I don't really see what the big problem is, but I know that there is a problem. But I don't want/have no desire to fix it, and I guess that just comes with being an addict. Nothing really came out of that realization, just thought I'd try to put it in words for you guys.

 

[shadowstryker]

Does anyone else feel the need to be under the influence of something almost every night? Since Oxy has been a little expensive, I've noticed that I've been using some sort of substance almost every night. Tonight its valium/Oxy, yesterday it was valium/acid, the night before it was actually a full dose of Oxy for me, and the night before that I drank myself to sleep. I don't even know why, I guess I just want to feel different than I do normally or something. I was drinking for fucks sake, and I hate drinking.

 

[Mad Dash]

Here's a realization I came to during an acid trip last night: yes, I'm an addict. But at the same time I'm a normal person, and I don't really see what the big problem is, but I know that there is a problem. But I don't want/have no desire to fix it, and I guess that just comes with being an addict. Nothing really came out of that realization, just thought I'd try to put it in words for you guys.

At least you know, you just are not ready to quit. You are too young. You are going to have to make the mistakes on your own. We were just trying to save you the trouble but it is clear you have made up your mind.

 

[Mad Dash]

Does anyone else feel the need to be under the influence of something almost every night? Since Oxy has been a little expensive, I've noticed that I've been using some sort of substance almost every night. Tonight its valium/Oxy, yesterday it was valium/acid, the night before it was actually a full dose of Oxy for me, and the night before that I drank myself to sleep. I don't even know why, I guess I just want to feel different than I do normally or something. I was drinking for fucks sake, and I hate drinking.

Yes, pretty much all of the people in this thread started off that way. But it soon turn into not just at night, you can't go the day being sober. Because being high is SO much better who would want to be sober? We are not stupid people, we know that the reason you want to give your life to drugs is because of how good they make you feel. You sound exactly like me when I was your age, which probably means you also have D1 dopamine deficiency disorder. There is no cure or fix for it, it is genetic you are born with low dopamine production so when your brain makes the connection that drugs (even ones you don't like) actually make you feel normal the brain makes an auto formatting correction and says we need this now, so make sure to include it in all start up procedures and functions.

The only way to fix it now is through abstinence. It sucks but it is life, I am sorry man but that is why rehab and non-recreational meds help. For me viibryd was the answer. I mean you could at least get yourself on methadone...

 

[shadowstryker]

Yes, pretty much all of the people in this thread started off that way. But it soon turn into not just at night, you can't go the day being sober. Because being high is SO much better who would want to be sober? We are not stupid people, we know that the reason you want to give your life to drugs is because of how good they make you feel. You sound exactly like me when I was your age, which probably means you also have D1 dopamine deficiency disorder. There is no cure or fix for it, it is genetic you are born with low dopamine production so when your brain makes the connection that drugs (even ones you don't like) actually make you feel normal the brain makes an auto formatting correction and says we need this now, so make sure to include it in all start up procedures and functions.

The only way to fix it now is through abstinence. It sucks but it is life, I am sorry man but that is why rehab and non-recreational meds help. For me viibryd was the answer. I mean you could at least get yourself on methadone...

Isn't methadone just another opiate I'd probably end up abusing though? Besides, how would that even go? "Hey doc, I'm 18 but I'm addicted to Oxy/heroin. Not physically but mentally, mind giving me something else to abuse?" Would they even prescribe me anything or just view me as a young junkie looking for a fix?