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Blog Kicking Kratom Once and For All!!!

Had to get out of the house and out of my head so I drove to get a small coffee and then walked maybe 0.3 miles along a nature trail. Was very cold though even though I was dressed warm. Feeling upbeat and positive and may even go out in 90 minutes to watch my son do his walk for education at his kindergarten.

I came to realize that I have so much success and so much to be thankful for in my life INSPITE of me trying my hardest to fuck it up with addiction. I am determined to figure out how to manage my mental state going forward without abusing substances.
 
^Fantastic! I wish I had a kindergartener to hang out with again. I find that to be an amazing age. They are very good teachers for living in the moment and being excited by each new day. We are born with so much wisdom and school tends to kick most of it into some dark forgotten corner. Then we internalize all the useless paradigms like popularity, success and competition that we learn in school and spend a good amount of adult life trying to free our own brains from these faulty judgments.
 
FindingPeace said:
The physical part is the easy stuff
The crushing anxiety and depression that is PAWS is the true battle
Good Luck
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DogLover123757 said:
How's it going man? Has it hit you full on yet? You sound focused and it seems like you are prepared so I hope you bust straight on through this shit. There are these fruit smoothie drinks called Blue Machine and other stuff that are chocked full of vitamins and good stuff. I drank many of these and they helped a lot as I could never really eat no matter how hungry I thought I was.
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herbavore said:
^Fantastic! I wish I had a kindergartener to hang out with again. I find that to be an amazing age. They are very good teachers for living in the moment and being excited by each new day. We are born with so much wisdom and school tends to kick most of it into some dark forgotten corner. Then we internalize all the useless paradigms like popularity, success and competition that we learn in school and spend a good amount of adult life trying to free our own brains from these faulty judgments.
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So true! He helps me keep perspective and is never down or sad so it's hard to feel down when around him. He helps me push through this.

I did end up going with my wife to the school to watch him race around the building countless times for a fundraiser. It was 59 degrees and even in hoodie and sweatpants I was frigid.

Came home and had a banana,
Mini bagel and a Powerade and then soaked in the hot tub for 10-15 mins. Took all my nausea and discomfort away, at least temporarily.

I would love to think I can manage to go into the office tomorrow but that will hinge mostly on how well I can sleep tonight. I'm planning on working from home or at the worst - take the am off and work in PM.
 
Cold sweats have calmed down a good bit but nausea and restlessness is brutal. Just had a cup of peppermint tea my wife picked up at the store and some kava in it. Son is home from school and hopefully I can be more helpful today than I was yesterday
 
I am hopelessly addicted to kratom. I have been trying to get off of it for years, but never succeed. Currently, I have tapered down to one half teaspoon taken every 4-5 hours which I consider a very low dose. I don't experience a high from this dose, just relief from withdrawal. If I don't take it, I feel restlessness and aches and pains, sweaty clammy skin, hot cold flashes, yawns and lack of energy/interest in anything.

I just don't seem able to go lower than this dose. Its pathetic because I used to be addicted to heroin and the wd from this is so much milder in so many ways and yet somehow I can't seem to bare it.
 
burn out said:
I am hopelessly addicted to kratom. I have been trying to get off of it for years, but never succeed. Currently, I have tapered down to one half teaspoon taken every 4-5 hours which I consider a very low dose. I don't experience a high from this dose, just relief from withdrawal. If I don't take it, I feel restlessness and aches and pains, sweaty clammy skin, hot cold flashes, yawns and lack of energy/interest in anything.

I just don't seem able to go lower than this dose. Its pathetic because I used to be addicted to heroin and the wd from this is so much milder in so many ways and yet somehow I can't seem to bare it.
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I feel u - this is I think my 6th or 7th attempt at quitting for good. Life is just easier with kratom at least at first until your doses get so high you start to suffer more Ill effects than good ones.

The withdrawals definitely have you feeling hopeless at times, you just have to remind yourself that it will get better and by many other accounts, it truly does.

If you could kick H you can definitely kick kratom. Just buckle up, prepare for several shitty days and get it done.
 
My son was nice enough to take another walk with me after dinner. I was freezing the whole time and as soon as we got back I took yet another hot shower. I definitely feel the best, almost normal after a hot shower, at least for a little while...

44 hours clean
 
Right there with u guys. I'm on day 3 right now and my wife is on day 1. I got the flu over the weekend and said screw it I am doing it right now today no more. I was at about 30g a day wife was at about 10g daily. Working up over 1.5 years.

For me day 1 was horrendous emotionally and physically but nothing nothing like sleeping on night 2. So much rls I was up all night and severe fatigue today although feeling better mentally. It was so terrible I think it might be the worse night of my life.

Now we are laying down right now. Kids are heading to bed and I'm starting to freak out..idk wtf I am going to do if I don't get sleep tonight I think I might die.

Nevertheless tomorrow will be a better day. Stay strong guys I'm right there with you.
 
^^^^
I hope you guys survived the night. I ended up passing out around 630
After a hot shower for an hour and then was up until 9'when I took a sleep aid containing melatonin,
Valerian and 5-htp. Slept until 1 and after tossing and turning for almost half an hour, came down to sofa and slept through to 515. Can't complain. No cold sweats really over night just restlessness and stomach discomfort.

We will see what today brings and hopefully I can work remotely today and be back in the office tomorrow.

56 hours clean...
 
Wife made me a bowl of chicken noodle soup and some dry toast for breakfast. Helped to settle my stomach a bit but then got sweaty then cold, blah, blah, blah.

Messaged work and told them I would be out this morning yet and put in a half day from home. Hoping things continue to improve today. Biggest issue right now is anxiety and stomach discomfort which is helped only by a hot shower or hot tub soak.
 
60 hrs clean...

Just got back from a short drive to buy a coffee and then took a walk around the neighborhood. Have to get to work in about an hour and a half. Anxiety is the big issue today so I have tried to stay busy cleaning up around the house, laundry, etc. gonna finish my coffee and then go out and do a little yard work before work work.

Stay strong everyone, don't be afraid to cry out and ask for help. Better days are sure to be had
 
That's awesome man sounds like you are heading through this pretty well. I still have problems sleeping and hardly ever eat a full and balanced meal but for me it's a slow process. I am alone though with no family so I wonder if that makes some of the bad shit linger around longer. If I had a wife and kids I would probably be much more active and what not. Anyways I am really happy for you sticking it out and fighting back through the wd's. Continued good luck to you.
 
Thanks dog lover - yes, being married with a son helps keep me grounded and prevented me from delving deeper into harder drugs and addiction and I am thankful everyday for that.

This morning I have finally shed my hoodie I had been wearing the last few days as the cold sweats seem to have mostly gone and I am better able to regulate my body temperature it seems.

I haven't had anything Today to combat withdrawals. No lope, no kava, no peppermint tea. Feels good. I hope today keeps on improving and the worst of the physical pains are behind me
 
Had some fat free plain yogurt with vanilla whey protein mixed in for lunch. Not all that pleasant but healthy. Brewed up a cup of peppermint tea and taking a short break from work
 
Anxiety and stomach pain has been terrible this afternoon so far. Probably doesn't help I am stuck in my office trying to be productive. Giving me some real anxiety as to how well things will go tomorrow when I am in the office for an entire day.

Trying to get a friend of mine to go for a run with me later today which will hopefully help.
 
Had an all around great evening. Friend came over for a short run and then stayed for dinner and conversation with the family. We then watched Life of Pi. Almost forgot my past few days of struggles. Looking forward to meeting tomorrow head on after hopefully some restful sleep.

I'm hoping with each day the bouts of anxiety become less and less. There really is an end to the suffering if you persevere.
 
Coming up on 72 hours clean (10 PM) and I believe through most of the physical symptoms. I know I will still get short bouts of chills and RLS but nowhere near as paralyzing as those first 48 hours. Thanks to everyone for keeping me accountable and a huge thanks to my wife, who coming clean to has been the greatest factor in my sobriety and I have told her how much I thank her for her patience and understanding.

I plan on continuing to update for days to come as I am sure challenges will arise and I will continue to be tested. I also have to still figure out what led me to start using kratom In the first place (general anxiety about life).

Night all.
 
An ok night of sleep I guess (10 pm - 3 AM) then tossing and turning lots until about 615 with maybe another hour of sleep in there.

Had a dream I was taking a train cross country and had a look at my kratom stash and was worried about not having enough to last for the trip. I was able to somehow remind myself that I didn't need that crap anymore and it disappeared from my dream altogether.

Going to end up skipping the office today and work remote again. It's an hour drive to get in and I honestly feel I can use this upcoming weekend to make even more progress and hopefully better sleep patterns too
 
Sounds good man, honestly I think at this point five hours of sleep is pretty good. I still struggle to sleep that much at once. I wake up all the time still sweating and sometimes shaking and freaked out. This weekend will be a big help I believe. So great progress man you should be turning the corner. If I may ask are you feeling mentally strong with regards to using anymore? Do you ever think about it at all?
 
I've been on a 2 month Kratom binge taking sometimes as much as 60grams a day... I have been tapering all week and am down to one morning dose of 9 grams...The only sides are boredom, restless legs, and mild depression/anxiety....
 
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