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Blog Kicking Kratom Once and For All!!!

Taking my son out for tacos tonight while my wife is at work. All around great day. Low key playing video games and putting laundry away. No symptoms at all today. No anxiety, no depression, no physical stuff.

The key going forward when anxiety creeps in (which I know from past detoxes it will) is that it is only temporary and to remind myself of the shitty withdrawals from earlier in the week.

I won't say "I made it" until a year clean but I know what I need to do to maintain sobriety. Stay busy, stay connected to friends and family, be involved in every aspect of my life and treat each circumstance as a blessing because I can feel again and am not an emotional zombie who is apathetic to everything around him.

I am beyond thrilled for life after substances. It has been too damn long...
 
Is an RC being added to kratom to make it this addictive? By itself it's only a tea.
 
socko said:
Is an RC being added to kratom to make it this addictive? By itself it's only a tea.
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RC? Sorry I don't know what that means. I was using plain Bali leaf but capped. If you make tea I would think your doses remain much lower. I was ingesting 5.4 grams (15 capsules) 6xday. It gives you euphoria at these higher doses and sedative properties. When you stop taking it your dopamine is all fucked up. I've detoxes off of poppy pod tea and the symptoms of kratom are much the same just shorter lived IMO.

I can see value in kratom for someone coming from a hard drug addiction to get off of drugs but I will never encourage anyone with an addict personality to start taking it. I consider myself an extremely strong willed person and was a slave to this plant for more than 6 years.
 
7 days clean come 10 PM tonight!!!

Slept from 10- 515 this morning. Woke up refreshed and drove the 45 mins to the office. Been so long since at work and clean. Feels amazing and after conquering the withdrawals last week I feel ready for anything work can throw at me.

Come and get me life!
 
RC =research chemical like a synthetic opioid. I don't know how likely that is, but it would explain why the wd is similar to a stronger opiate. The natural concentration of 7hydroxymitraginie seems too low otherwise. I've taken kratom at the same levels as you for months ànd found it to be like codeine or heroin at those levels. Mixing it with heroin had a synergistic effect and was always very nice.
 
I have always made tea and just chugged it. I was at about 30g a day. I can attest after having a pretty bad oxy contin addiction (40mg a day), that kicking kratom was equal to or even harder than kicking OC's. It's not only about the substance, it's about the physiological affect it is having. At the height of my kratom use I could easily take 5 10mg vicodins in one shot in order to get the same affect the kratom was giving me. Kratom acts on very similar opiode receptors, and by taking it in large doses your brain compensates by increasing the amount of receptors in the area to balance the neurotransmitter usage. The more potent the drug is, or the higher the quantity, the greater the increase in receptors, the greater the tolerance.

This is similar with many drugs. Alcohol, kava, opiates, etc. If you abuse the shit out of them you are going to fuck your brain up, and the longer you do it, the bigger the cliff will be once you fall. I can very much attest to kratom's addictiveness after a long period of abuse. It is painfully difficult to overcome. Far more painful than I ever thought it would be.

Of course that is our fault though for being irresponsible and taking it too far. Today marks one full week for me! Back at work and feeling good finally.
 
^^^

Glad you are fighting the good fight still. I went ahead and in subscribed from my suppliers mailing list and even considered giving all my credit cards to my wife but I trust myself at this point enough to never order any again.

My hope is honestly that the US bans the sale of it. I've never bought illegal drugs before and can say for sure if kratom wasn't legal I would never have been in this situation in the first place
 
^^It's only tea FFS! I've had worse physical symptoms quitting COFFEE! I'm talking migraines, vomiting, no sleep, no energy, depression and the rest when I quit coffee cold turkey. That taught me to taper. I don't know how anybody could have such a problem with kratom unless it is laced. The trick to quitting without discomfort is to taper. I've had runs when I've taken 50-60 grams per day, and I never had any problem quitting with a taper. 50-60 grams as you know is too much for most people so I reduced my dose, quit for a while, reset my tolerance, and went back to low doses. I learned to use it in moderation and never every day. More than 5g a day is too much. You just make up your mind and do it and gradually reduce your dose over 2 or 3 weeks and it is easy. You will not lose sleep, have restless legs, low energy or even stress/depression. You will not have PAWS. And of course stay busy to keep your mind off it. Once you come to terms with the psychological hurdle of anxiety, you will be ok.
KratomDemon said:
^^^

Glad you are fighting the good fight still. I went ahead and in subscribed from my suppliers mailing list and even considered giving all my credit cards to my wife but I trust myself at this point enough to never order any again.

My hope is honestly that the US bans the sale of it. I've never bought illegal drugs before and can say for sure if kratom wasn't legal I would never have been in this situation in the first place
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And this is where some people differ in their addictions. I have tried tapers numerous times and always end up eating my entire supply and ordering more.
 
The important thing is that you met your goal. I've tried and failed at tapers too for various things. For whatever reason I cheated, but I tried again and it worked. Thinking about how bad cold turkey WDs are was good motivation.
KratomDemon said:
And this is where some people differ in their addictions. I have tried tapers numerous times and always end up eating my entire supply and ordering more.
Click to expand...
 
This morning officially marks a week clean and it feels great. No symptoms to speak of really at this point. Stay up beat and positive throughout the day. Been sneezing and sniffling like crazy the past 2 days - allergies I believe due to the change in seasons. May get a flu shot today at work. That's about it.

Happy Tuesday everyone
 
8 days clean today.

Slept terribly last night. Didn't fall asleep until 1 and had to be up at 6 for work. Almost decided to not go in but I am mentally stronger now that I'm off kratom and convinced myself to suck it up and get it done.

I took about 100 mg caffeine around 4 PM yesterday after work before going to the gym. Only Thing I can think that ended up keeping me from sleep. It wasn't anxiety but just restlessness/not tired. Will keep an eye on later in the day stim usage and do away with it if this continues
 
9 days clean

Falling asleep last night was again problematic but not as bad as the night before probably because I took some melatonin around 930 and finally fell asleep around 11.

The whole ritual of laying down to bed is starting to cause anxiety and panic because I am afraid I can't. During the weekend it's not a big deal because I'll just occupy myself with movies or video games but having to get up 545 AM for work requires some sleep at least.

On a related note, thoughts of using kratom again have been invading my thoughts the last couple days. My brain always does this after clean for a week or so because I feel great now and it tries to convince me that I can go back and use it occasionally. Every addict knows that is BS and every time I have relapsed my usage is higher than the last time I quit the shit.

Holding strong and can't wait for the weekend. Stay sober my friends!
 
Maybe it will help you sleep if you are physically exhausted enough to do it easily. Work out every day but within 3 hours of bed time. No caffeine after 4 pm. Stay away from the computer at bedtime too.
 
Yeah I work out regularly and push myself to get as much done around the house as possible. No computer before bed but always on my phone and my wife likes to watch tv before bed and i like quiet darkness. I know this will improve with time. Worse comes to worse I take melatonin maybe 3-4 days per week on days I need up early, at least in the short term.
 
10 days clean

Survived my first full week back at work and for the most part it was awesome. Productive, social and feeling like my old self again. Continuing to get back into the groove at the gym (3-4 days/week) and take one day at a time.

Slept solid last night - 1145 a 630 without any sleep aids.
 
11 days clean. Good day yesterday. Had a few beers while watching a movie before bed and then had a dream about using again. Interesting how I don't recall dreaming about using while actually using kratom. I know my brain misses the care free relaxation it offered but I continue to resist the devil inside.
 
12 days, closing in on 2 weeks and building up momentum.

I keep fantasizing about scoring pills, opiates of some kind. My true underlying desire that I have used kratom to bury. The real test here will come when at a friend or family's house and I come across some pills and can resist helping myself to them.... The brain of an addict never truly heals....
 
KratomDemon said:
12 days, closing in on 2 weeks and building up momentum.

I keep fantasizing about scoring pills, opiates of some kind. My true underlying desire that I have used kratom to bury. The real test here will come when at a friend or family's house and I come across some pills and can resist helping myself to them.... The brain of an addict never truly heals....
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I literally cried when reading about your struggles over the past year. I have to say you are a warrior. I have been in a twelve year struggle with opiates. Recently a friend of mine suggested that I try kratom in small doses to help me mentally. After reading your story, I will say that I am not going to try it for the fear of giving myself something else to have to overcome in the future. As a suggestion for you, Neurontin or Gabapentin can help you if you can get some. It may promote better sleep and relieve the anxiety you seem to be struggling with. There is a remedy I think can still be bought at Walmart in the vitamin section called nerve tonic. Also, I personally have found ginseng helpful with my mental stability and clarity. I commend you for your commitment to your self and your family!! The dreams are tough cuz they seem to trigger us, but telling someone you trust about the dreams may help you too.Look forward to hearing how you do!! Best of luck in this war!!
 
Thank you so much for the support! It has been a rough 6 years filled with lies and deception and coming clean a couple weeks ago has been awesome. The anxiety actually is pretty much gone at this point. Boredom can be an issue so I try to keep busy but I feel strong at this point.

Obviously I wouldn't recommend kratom to anyone due to my own struggles but I would still have to say being on kratom is still better than opiates. Pretty sure you can't OD and die on kratom, it just gets expensive quickly. Best of luck to you!!
 
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