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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

So that rave I went to.....I ended up in hospital.

SilentRoller said:
Unfortunately it's real mate. The details have been collaborated by a good few of my mates who saw the same things.

An update for you all though. I'm feeling back to normal now, but am off everything apart from half a square of hash chocolate that I eat each evening after work for a nice stone. Planning on keeping it strictly herb only for a good long while! What's somewhat worrying though is a small part of my brain ocassionally things about all the good times I've had rushing my face off...however I only have to think about the catheter again and I'm instantly like "nope...fuck that shit." I'm sure it all fades in time, it's just a shame I love the music and the scene that comes with it.

But anyways, just thought I would update you all. In fairness (almost) clean living is pretty amazing. Sure I like my bud, but not having comedowns is great! Not that I did stims reguarly anyhow, but you get my point :)
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That's understandable you'll think of the good times. It's your reward system asking for more of the reward it's been given. Slightly different but when I was addicted to codeine n would have the most horrendous constipation n be in agony in the floor from taking too much paracetamol I would promise NEVER to touch codeine again if only I'd have some relief. Within minutes of having relief I'd be wolfing down more n totally forget any agony I was in.

What I'm trying to stress is that you really have to fight with yourself at times to keep away. Not saying you're addicted or dependent but that your reward system is craving its reward possibilly at the times you gave it the reward. Maybe look at what you could replace it with

Is there anything that truly interests you that makes you feel pleasure / feel rewarded etc? What about exercise?

Sorry I've waffled on a bit - hope you're ok.

Evey
 
ot saying you're addicted or dependent but that your reward system is craving its reward possibilly at the times you gave it the reward.
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I see your point :). I would just like to state that at no point have/was I addicted to MDMA. With one exception, I always left a decent amount of time between uses, despite dosing high when I finally used it. The bigger issue that I've identified is my lack of self control when ON MDMA - I just keep eating it 'just another half etc' until I am mullered. But you are right, replacing it with exercise is a good option, and is I've been doing plenty of it recently. Work is also pretty busy so keeping my occupied, it's just as I love trance/dubstep, an awesome track may come on during the car journey home, and I'll get that rushy feeling in my chest, and be all like "woooooooo". You'll know what I mean if you've had it.

I for one believe that once you had tried MDMA once, the ocasional niggling desire to experience it again never actually goes away. There have been points when I haven't touched MD for 5 months, and then I've been out on the piss with mates having a good night, and me and a buddy have looked at eachother, and joked how 'half a gurner would make the night amazing'. However it was never acted on, and we just forgot about it and continued with the night. It's an interesting concept for sure!
 
Aw man, massive love to you. That sounds like a SHOCKER of a rave :( I hope you are able to get over the things you saw and your hospital ordeal. I'm so careful with MD now, I once had a terrible experience at a festival where I got some MD that gave me chronic bladder pain and I felt like I had to pee when I didn't have anything to pee out, it ruined three days for me, and I didn't even get a high.

<3
 
If you get it down to once every month or two and just a couple of doses before any side effects become present there's not much wrong with it i think. I re read your report again 4-FA can do that too probably not a good combination as they both release lots of serotonin. I've also mixed these 2 and suffered a menacing comedown, perhaps this is worthy of a warning.
 
Do you use test kits for MDMA? I've not taken it myself but another member hee told me you can get test kits fot it. Is it possible that it may not be MDMA or may be cut with something? I apologise for my ignorance here if I'm talking utter shite x

Evey
 
Yeah the MDMA crystal was marquis tested Dutch gear - white almost clear crystals with almost no smell. All I know is it took my head off. And the pills were from the naughtyweb, also tested with a kit. The tox screen in the hospital (piss test) came back as meth-amphetamine, amphetamine and cannabis which makes sense considering that MD will show positive for meth amp on a urine test. I gave up trying to explain to my mates that a positive for meth-amp doesn't mean I took meth in this case and is instead due to MD's releation to meth-amphetamine that caused it (despite them being very different obviously)

Basically I just an idiot and took a large amount of strong MDMA. The fact that the rave was an ODfest is another matter unfortunately. Even typing this and thinking about an MDMA comedown is putting me off. Shame I ruined it for myself really but I got all I could from the compound. Time to move on :)
 
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SilentRoller said:
Yeah the MDMA crystal was marquis tested Dutch gear - white almost clear crystals with almost no smell. All I know is it took my head off. And the pills were from the naughtyweb, also tested with a kit. The tox screen in the hospital (piss test) came back as meth-amphetamine, amphetamine and cannabis which makes sense considering that MD will show positive for meth amp on a urine test. I gave up trying to explain to my mates that a positive for meth-amp doesn't mean I took meth in this case and is instead due to MD's releation to meth-amphetamine that caused it (despite them being very different obviously)

Basically I just an idiot and took a large amount of strong MDMA. The fact that the rave was an ODfest is another matter unfortunately. Even typing this and thinking about an MDMA comedown is putting me off. Shame I ruined it for myself really but I got all I could from the compound. Time to move on :)
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Thats my exact thoughts on MD now, over a year after ruining it for myself. Dont miss it one bit now which is weird considering i couldn't get enough of the stuff for years. 8)
 
Sorry to hear about that man, I'm kinda the same with MD now the gaps between using it are getting longer and longer and the comedowns seem to get worse. I had a phase where i could take it to my hearts content and not even get a comedown but not now.
 
Sidnafilisevil said:
I re read your report again 4-FA can do that too probably not a good combination as they both release lots of serotonin. I've also mixed these 2 and suffered a menacing comedown, perhaps this is worthy of a warning.
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I was gonna mention this actually. 4-FA can cause some severe bladder and "plumbing" issues. I've never mentioned this before cos it was so damn freaky but one time after plugging rather a lot my balls swelled up to the size of melons and I was in excruciating pain for a while. I had also taken 2C-C which I mention for its serotonergic effects - I in no way hallucinated the swellyballs stuff. Thankfully it wore off after a couple hours but can see how that may quite possibly have been less (in hindsight) comedic and more genuinely worrisome.

I am very fond of 4-FA but it plays extremely badly with evenly mildly serotonergic substances ime. Doesn't bear thinking about how nasty that could get with MDMA - as it seems you may have unfortunately found out for youself, SR :\

Eveleivibe said:
That's understandable you'll think of the good times. It's your reward system asking for more of the reward it's been given. Slightly different but when I was addicted to codeine n would have the most horrendous constipation n be in agony in the floor from taking too much paracetamol I would promise NEVER to touch codeine again if only I'd have some relief. Within minutes of having relief I'd be wolfing down more n totally forget any agony I was in.

What I'm trying to stress is that you really have to fight with yourself at times to keep away. Not saying you're addicted or dependent but that your reward system is craving its reward possibilly at the times you gave it the reward. Maybe look at what you could replace it with

Is there anything that truly interests you that makes you feel pleasure / feel rewarded etc? What about exercise?

Sorry I've waffled on a bit - hope you're ok.

Evey
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Excellent post, Evey. This is true of addictive behaviour in general and addictive behaviour is not exclusive to traditionally addictive drugs. Not saying you are/were addicted, SR - mainly cos I don't really see how MDMA could be addictive in any real sense - but it is quite possible for things to cross a line into self-destructive behaviour which is obviously a big part of traditional addictive behaviour patterns.

Anyway, am waffling now so will just add to those saying that rave sounds fukkin insane!!! And not in the good way :|
 
Eveleivibe said:
That's understandable you'll think of the good times. It's your reward system asking for more of the reward it's been given. Slightly different but when I was addicted to codeine n would have the most horrendous constipation n be in agony in the floor from taking too much paracetamol I would promise NEVER to touch codeine again if only I'd have some relief. Within minutes of having relief I'd be wolfing down more n totally forget any agony I was in.

What I'm trying to stress is that you really have to fight with yourself at times to keep away. Not saying you're addicted or dependent but that your reward system is craving its reward possibilly at the times you gave it the reward. Maybe look at what you could replace it with

Is there anything that truly interests you that makes you feel pleasure / feel rewarded etc? What about exercise?

Sorry I've waffled on a bit - hope you're ok.

Evey
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Did you do a CWE on the paracetamols ? I know you have stated that you used to be taking upto 600mgs of codeine per day - so I'm curious.
 
Bearlove said:
Did you do a CWE on the paracetamols ? I know you have stated that you used to be taking upto 600mgs of codeine per day - so I'm curious.
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Went through phases. First just took pills as normal then I read about cwe n absolutely fell in love with it. Was actually a thrill that I was doing something "not quite right," so to speak.

Then the more I became addictedvto codeine the more my brain became warped by the addiction. So I'd read somewhere that with cwe you lose some codeine n my mind would go "no more cwe best to take whole tablets n would whatever than lose ANY codeine. So cwe became a thing of the past n then I got hold of the stronger stuff (60mg) n would find ways of manipulating n rotating my collections so i lasted with each type.

Can't really say owt more than that without breaking rules n it was 900mg +. Life became an obsessive ritual of waiting for the post, find pharmacies last minutes n depending on codeine for emotional n physical wellbeing. Can't believe that was 2 n half years ago now it feels another life time ago n like that, I was a different person.

Evey
 
Eveleivibe said:
Went through phases. First just took pills as normal then I read about cwe n absolutely fell in love with it. Was actually a thrill that I was doing something "not quite right," so to speak.

Then the more I became addictedvto codeine the more my brain became warped by the addiction. So I'd read somewhere that with cwe you lose some codeine n my mind would go "no more cwe best to take whole tablets n would whatever than lose ANY codeine. So cwe became a thing of the past n then I got hold of the stronger stuff (60mg) n would find ways of manipulating n rotating my collections so i lasted with each type.

Can't really say owt more than that without breaking rules n it was 900mg +. Life became an obsessive ritual of waiting for the post, find pharmacies last minutes n depending on codeine for emotional n physical wellbeing. Can't believe that was 2 n half years ago now it feels another life time ago n like that, I was a different person.

Evey
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Yeah its very scary when the addiction takes over, common sense goes out of the window. I thankfully was never a fan of the opiates and was always more into the stimulant side of things.
 
Interesting, as I had never really considered the 4-FA as part of the problem, considering it was only around 20mg. It's what I get for mixing stims like a cock though, lesson learnt.

I thought I would also add that I had some mates come over a few days ago, who decided to get on some gurners. I stayed sober of course (apart from weed and beers) and I must say, being sober and watching people mashed on pills makes you embarrassed as to how you used to look of MD yourself. They looked absolutely rediculous with their sweaty gurns and eye rolling, but what's more is that I realised how fake the whole thing was and having some pilled up lad chat your ears off is just irritating, and the love and empathy just seems so fake . Especially when you see these same lads at the end of the night cracked out and hallucinating, and it makes you glad to be sober in all honesty. Sorry if I'm sounding like a miserable old cunt, but from this angle, MDMA is now looking pretty shallow and silly, which makes me wonder why I held it so highly.

On a different note, I have always had a love for 6-APB and and managed to come across a bit of pre-ban stuff I had. However, I have decidedI shall be leaving it a good while before I indulge in that. Can't say I'll be partaking in MDMA again though especially after what I saw and with 6-APB and psyches on tap when needed, it's time to bid farewell to Mandy.
 
^

Yeah, well, not everyone's experience is yours. You sound like you need new friends more than you need new drugs. MDMA may be cool but taking it doesn't necessarily make you cool. I have 26 years of experience that, erm, challenges yours. Not being superior, just saying that what you describe isn't necessarily typical.

Personally I don't find MDMA 'shallow and silly'. I'm willing to bet your 'friends' are. With or without drugs.
 
Gool ol' SHM, telling it how it is. I like it, no sugar coating, just 100% cunt. Only kidding buddy, I see your point entirely. However irrespective of who was taking the MDMA, my point was that watching anyone on MDMA whilst you are sober and seeing what a mess they are in, puts things in perspective. Don't get me wrong, I love/loved the disco biscuits as much as anyone and I have been that eye-rolling sweaty bloke many times. It's just when you finally view it from the other side, it puts you off. Or it did me anyway.
 
I love you too man. Seriously. The MDMA told me.

But the only mess MDMA gets me in usually involves lots of sperm and a gf's pussy/arse/face.

Hey, different strokes an' all that.

I wish you well. <3
 
hahahaha love you SHM you're so funny. Hope you n your gf are doing well x

SR that's the case for a lotta things. As you know I've not taken MDMA but look at alcohol when I'm drinking I feel mellow n chilled, sometimes happy n cheery but when sober n watching others drink they come across as idiotic, annoying, repetitive n sometimes fearsome. I guess it's to do with perspective n situational interaction between intoxicated-sobriety.

Hope you're good x

Evey
 
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