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European & African
Drug Discussion
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The EADD I'm Fucked MEGATHREAD - Imaginations required from an imaginative mod/member
- Thread starter deano88
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Don Luigi
Bluelight Crew
A bottle of 'wine' and a fat herb stack shall facilitate doing fuck-all tonight.
I went into town to pay off a strap but there's a parade starting with 80 bands so I got out of there quickly.
I went into town to pay off a strap but there's a parade starting with 80 bands so I got out of there quickly.
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Heh heh! Way to go Stee
how do you finding vaping 3fpm affects your chest? I get a nasty tickly cough for up to a week after while its being purged from my lungs. Have you noticed you can still taste it in your phlegm for days as well? Im sure you get a secondary hit off coughing it up and swallowing it... Tbh, I think vaping this stuff is far from healthy, much worse than gear IMO. Like yourself I'm a stim head at heart and every time I've come off meth or gear I start using stims to take my mind off it and give me that 'kick up the arse' needed to start being functional again.
GarageFlower
Bluelighter
Just had five .5mg clonazolam and 20mg Valium feeling more relapsed already.
foolsgold
Bluelighter
its getting mixed with mxe at the weekend now that should be fun then after that ive got doip to try out
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Is that what one could call a 'Freudian slip?'
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
A perfect example!
Currently tweaking on 3-FPM and need to go for a walk, suppose it's time to close the 37 tabs of shite before it gets too late.
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
Still going! There is a definite empathogenic side to 3-FPM, just had one of the loveliest conversations of my life. Opened up completely to my ex-fiancee and expressed so many things I'd been holding back, cleared up a lot of things and set the stage for a vastly improved relationship. Eugh, it was very long overdue and I am so very happy that I could talk with sincerity and honesty rather than pretend to not care at all.
Also wrote a post so long I wasn't sure it could be posted as a single response. I remember the rage I felt after writing essay-posts on MPA and receiving the dreaded 'token has expired' message!
Would appreciate someone reading it over and telling me whether it is legible or senseless, stimulant induced gibberish.
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...fects-from-a-non-user?p=13014729#post13014729
Also wrote a post so long I wasn't sure it could be posted as a single response. I remember the rage I felt after writing essay-posts on MPA and receiving the dreaded 'token has expired' message!
Would appreciate someone reading it over and telling me whether it is legible or senseless, stimulant induced gibberish.
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...fects-from-a-non-user?p=13014729#post13014729
Sadie
Bluelight Crew
I'll read it sprout. Also, FB PM'd you earlier xxx
If you fancy a phone call let me know.
If you fancy a phone call let me know.
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Still going! There is a definite empathogenic side to 3-FPM, just had one of the loveliest conversations of my life. Opened up completely to my ex-fiancee and expressed so many things I'd been holding back, cleared up a lot of things and set the stage for a vastly improved relationship. Eugh, it was very long overdue and I am so very happy that I could talk with sincerity and honesty rather than pretend to not care at all.
Also wrote a post so long I wasn't sure it could be posted as a single response. I remember the rage I felt after writing essay-posts on MPA and receiving the dreaded 'token has expired' message!
Would appreciate someone reading it over and telling me whether it is legible or senseless, stimulant induced gibberish.
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...fects-from-a-non-user?p=13014729#post13014729
Sprout, this is actually very legible stimulant induced gibberish
Seriously though, everything you say is absolutely bang on afaic.
I'm glad you mentioned the empathy with 3fpm - this is why the wife & I got into it. We've been together nearly 25 years now, but after about 60mg of 3fpm each, we were opening up to each other in a way I've never known with any other substance. We were sharing our deepest fears, desires and sexual fantasies, (regularly interspersed with bouts of frantic shagging), but it felt totally natural, as opposed to the empathy experienced on MDMA - which is great at the time, but feels false and empty afterwards. Unfortunately, this 'magic' aspect of the drug only lasted for a few sessions - whether this is due to tolerance, familiarity, different synths, vendorbuggeringaboutary or isomer ratios I can't say, but we both miss the first times with 3fpm...
Wow telephone contact, it scares the shit outa me TBH, I am truly shite at the people thing, fuk knows how I seem to manage at work, it's like it's someone else.
I'm actually going to go to bed tonight, I've got some work to finish up whilst the diaz kicks in, I best make sure I get some sleep or I'll end up mad as a badger by the afternoon, not that anyone would notice :D
@Sprout, sometimes if you lose a post there is an auto recovery button in the new blank window, personally I either keep doing CTRL A and copy or I write long posts in word or similar, I can't spell very well at all so like to review and correct, my hand writing is honestly illegible, I suspect some borderline condition but as I've worked in technology since 1988 I only write in my notebooks, everything else is typed, I'll even scan forms to fill them in if I can't get Mrs A to do them for me.
foolsgold
Bluelighter
(regularly interspersed with bouts of frantic shagging) that made me lol then
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
Sprout, this is actually very legible stimulant induced gibberish
Seriously though, everything you say is absolutely bang on afaic.
I'm glad you mentioned the empathy with 3fpm - this is why the wife & I got into it. We've been together nearly 25 years now, but after about 60mg of 3fpm each, we were opening up to each other in a way I've never known with any other substance. We were sharing our deepest fears, desires and sexual fantasies, (regularly interspersed with bouts of frantic shagging), but it felt totally natural, as opposed to the empathy experienced on MDMA - which is great at the time, but feels false and empty afterwards. Unfortunately, this 'magic' aspect of the drug only lasted for a few sessions - whether this is due to tolerance, familiarity, different synths, vendorbuggeringaboutary or isomer ratios I can't say, but we both miss the first times with 3fpm...
Thank you for reading, and cheers - I'm never too sure these days. Wrote way too many essays and projects under the influence of stimulants, believing them to be of quality, only to read it over the next morning and learn it is 3,000 words too long, tangential to the point it makes little sense and was written with all the literary flair of Posh Spice with a hangover.
Sounds lovely FUBAR, I'm glad you had such a positive effect. There is definitely some 'magic' with 3-FPM that I can't quite put my finger on. I also entirely agree with you with regards to the empathy of MDXX feeling somehow 'artificial', almost forced in character. 3-FPM by comparison leaves me with a little more control - I feel capable and confident enough to express myself without fear of repercussions, but at the same time I could simply ride the stimulation without uttering a word.
Lovely, simply.
@Allein, I did eventually learn to copy every post before attempting to send them, but it took much longer than it should have done! :D
I'm not much of a social butterfly myself, misanthropic pessimism is more my thing. Though our resident Sadie is truly a delight to speak with.
@Allein, I did eventually learn to copy every post before attempting to send them, but it took much longer than it should have done! :D
I'm not much of a social butterfly myself, misanthropic pessimism is more my thing. Though our resident Sadie is truly a delight to speak with.
I don't always but do look for that recovery button it does work sometimes, I do hate loosing a long post although I may be saving ohers from my rambling drivel
I can be a bit of a recluse TBH, apart from work I could go weeks without seeing anyone other than my family although I am trying to get back in touch with old friends locally, I tend to let friendships fizzle away largely because I get anxious about social situations unless I'm taking something which just isnt either always appropriate or productive.
I find the phone difficult, I'm not great at reading peoples reaction face to face and tend to over compensate with sarcasm and humour. In general I seem to fair better with women, I've been with Mrs A since I was 15 and never been interested in chasing women, I'd hope to be a gentlemen with no ulterior motive and have had some of my closest friendships with women back in my ravin days. I don't relate well to blokey men, football, the pub and the kinda talk abut women that just doesnt interest me makes me want to head for the door, oddly I think we have very few of that type here.
All that reminds me of the partner of one of my best male friends, Dave lives down in Essex, love that man but see him rarely these days. His partner became a very close friend, she struggles with anxiety and such and we gave each other genuine comfort in the past, she's unwell ATM and Mrs A is visiting tomorrow, I;ve not even called her to take the piss, will do so in the morning
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
I don't always but do look for that recovery button it does work sometimes, I do hate loosing a long post although I may be saving ohers from my rambling drivel
I can be a bit of a recluse TBH, apart from work I could go weeks without seeing anyone other than my family although I am trying to get back in touch with old friends locally, I tend to let friendships fizzle away largely because I get anxious about social situations unless I'm taking something which just isnt either always appropriate or productive.
I find the phone difficult, I'm not great at reading peoples reaction face to face and tend to over compensate with sarcasm and humour. In general I seem to fair better with women, I've been with Mrs A since I was 15 and never been interested in chasing women, I'd hope to be a gentlemen with no ulterior motive and have had some of my closest friendships with women back in my ravin days. I don't relate well to blokey men, football, the pub and the kinda talk abut women that just doesnt interest me makes me want to head for the door, oddly I think we have very few of that type here.
All that reminds me of the partner of one of my best male friends, Dave lives down in Essex, love that man but see him rarely these days. His partner became a very close friend, she struggles with anxiety and such and we gave each other genuine comfort in the past, she's unwell ATM and Mrs A is visiting tomorrow, I;ve not even called her to take the piss, will do so in the morning
I can relate to almost every word!
Some find it odd that I spend the majority of my life in a solitary manner, others take it as a comment on themselves. I guess I'm just happy in my own company, and am very appreciative of quiet time alone just thinking. I love the company of others, but I have zero issue with being on my own and letting my thoughts flow uninterrupted.
On many occasions I've upset people when I spend excess time on my own, as they believe I am avoiding them. I don't understand those people who can't stand to be alone, who must surround themselves with as many people as possible and will be the social focal point at all costs. I can't help but feel such behaviour stems from an insecurity in their self-image.
Then again I suppose it could be argued that both extremes are rooted in self-esteem and anxiety. Be it a lack of confidence causing one to avoid social events or over compensating to hide the issue.
I have an avid dislike of the typical 'manly-man', I can't associate with their stereotypical interests at all. I will never understand how supposed adult, mature, functional members of society can revert to primal, unwarranted violence and tribal xenophobia over 22 overpaid men kicking a piece of rubber round a field. Eugh.
I would estimate around 90% of those I consider friends are female, been that way for as long as I can remember. I just seem to get on so much better with women than men.
I do like time on my own focused on practical tasks but I'm also aware that my self esteem issues and intolerance of others causes me to fail to make friends easily, I'm working on it but I don't beat myself up about it.
I don't so football or any sport, I'm not chasing women and I don't want to have conversations where I belittle my wife and devalue our relationship, in some cases this leaves little to talk about, but of late I have made a few male friends that I'm getting along with OK, I'm kinda the weirdo of the group but not in a bad way.
It's not like I don't do man stuff, oily garage stuff, technology has been my work for 25 years, I couldnt be described as effeminate either in looks or behaviour. Maybe I feel less pressure from women to fit in, or maybe I prefer much of their conversation and I'm more at ease about my social anxiety and emotional stuff.
It's good to get out and meet people from time to time but I am mostly happy at home when not at work, I like to have a break from the world and the effort of being whatever 'me' seems to be most appropriate
I don't so football or any sport, I'm not chasing women and I don't want to have conversations where I belittle my wife and devalue our relationship, in some cases this leaves little to talk about, but of late I have made a few male friends that I'm getting along with OK, I'm kinda the weirdo of the group but not in a bad way.
It's not like I don't do man stuff, oily garage stuff, technology has been my work for 25 years, I couldnt be described as effeminate either in looks or behaviour. Maybe I feel less pressure from women to fit in, or maybe I prefer much of their conversation and I'm more at ease about my social anxiety and emotional stuff.
It's good to get out and meet people from time to time but I am mostly happy at home when not at work, I like to have a break from the world and the effort of being whatever 'me' seems to be most appropriate
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
It's great that you recognise your own self image and the effect of it, even more so that you're working on improving it. It can be quite a depressing cycle, IME, isolation leads to low self-esteem, which leads to social anxiety, which then lends itself to isolation.
I don't think we've ever spoken much but you do seem like a fantastic guy, and a true gentleman in a culture where such a quality is a rarity.
I used to be a very sporty person, but I never saw it as any more than a hobby - certainly no reason to assault another person or define them by the person/team they support. My father was a great fan of football hooliganism and I think a lot of my views stem from that - watching the man you are supposed to idolise beat the shit out of a stranger for supporting a different team or destroy the house if his team lost a game is not exactly pleasant.
Disgusting. Primitive. Senseless.
I'm quite an effeminate guy I suppose, or rather more distant from being masculine - gender stereotypes annoy me greatly. Hell, I've worn dresses/corsets out in public simply to irritate those desperate to define other people. Never done much in the way of 'oily garage stuff', I imagine I'd be terrible at it, but I take an awful lot of pride in the state of my shed and the tools in it. Being able to build a kitchen, operate power tools and drinking Stella are just about everything I do that's typically masculine.
Aye, it's nice not to have to wear a social 'mask'. But over the years I've become more confident in who I am and so playing the 'pretend to be whatever and whoever is most applicable' game is less common.
Spent many years doing that and it is so, so tiring.