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General Heroin Discussion 20 v. Walking Around in Women's Underwear

havent used in a few weeks but was getting killer fent cut dope the last month or so; was delivery within a half hour right to the door.. VERY NICE! but lets hope I can stay somewhat sober (on subs only) from here on out.
 
^^ Look who's back.. My man.... Have you maniged to keep your nose clean so far? We all know where trying to stay somewhat sober will probably get ya.. It's giving yourself the option... Not trying to give ya shit BBT cause I actually had some of my own troubles this week.. Glad to see ya back and kicking around... It wasn't the same without ya...
 
somnilicious said:
^^ Look who's back.. My man.... Have you maniged to keep your nose clean so far? We all know where trying to stay somewhat sober will probably get ya.. It's giving yourself the option... Not trying to give ya shit BBT cause I actually had some of my own troubles this week.. Glad to see ya back and kicking around... It wasn't the same without ya...
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nose clean; only BAD thing to happen was taking a few xannies. I was on 2 subs each day in the program and my final 2 days I only had 1 a day and wasnt feeling great so they gave me 1MG xanny at night rather than a 2nd sub to help me sleep. worked much better. the first night after NOT taking the sub I woke up not feeling great.
 
BostonBrownTown said:
nose clean; only BAD thing to happen was taking a few xannies. I was on 2 subs each day in the program and my final 2 days I only had 1 a day and wasnt feeling great so they gave me 1MG xanny at night rather than a 2nd sub to help me sleep. worked much better. the first night after NOT taking the sub I woke up not feeling great.
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That's no problem.. It was a prescribed and administered, therapeutic dose or what I like to call a license to cop a buzz. I know your gonna be up to taking your gabbas, having a few drinks, and smoking your cheeba.. Hopefully not the chiva... Just don't let it get you into trouble and if you find yourself really drunk and craving opiates then run the other way and cut out the alcohol.. I find that sometimes alcohol gives me cravings for either dope or coke cause it hits that dopamine reward center and ignites a fire for the real deal.. I'm just looking out for my Boston brother.. I don't wanna hear about you being jammed.. I was kinda worried about you the last two weeks before you left.. You were definitely chasing that sleep of the Gods in a bad way.. Sometimes people sleep that sleep forever... Then what would we do over at our other home.. It would be shit without BBT.. Much love..
 
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dude, they made me take 900MG gaba at night in the program, so it was ALL A WASTE and now I am DONE w/ it all, oh well. as far as weedies gone, NOPE! havent smoked in weeks. last I smoked was the Wednesday before I went into the Sunday program and I smoked 2 HITS out of a blunt. we were playing cards and I was having a few beers and took a puff just to chill the fuck out.

I am TRULY TRYING TO STAY SOBER! but who the fuck knows, ya know!? sober to me is much different than most. sure, ill prob still smoke weed, take a benzo to sleep, and have a few beers here and there, but that is sober to me. much better than shooting 1-2 grams of dope a day, ya know!?!? lol. we'll see how it all works, tho. I just want to STAY AWAY FROM DOPE! lets hope it works. these suboxone make me FEEL FUCKING GREAT but ONLY 16MG; anything less and I am NOT feeling great. sure, maybe 12MG but even 8MG not doing it for me just yet. ill slowly drop my dosage as times goes on but I am only 2 weeks clean so in NO RUSH, man.
 
I've been on a huge run the last few weeks. Doing way too much dope everyday. So I decided to take the leap and start on methadone. I have an appointment at the clinic Friday morning to get started. I hope I'm not fucking up but I feeli like I am at the end of my options. And I've been addicted for long enough now to say I'm in it for life.
 
BostonBrownTown said:
I am TRULY TRYING TO STAY SOBER! but who the fuck knows, ya know!? sober to me is much different than most. sure, ill prob still smoke weed, take a benzo to sleep, and have a few beers here and there, but that is sober to me. much better than shooting 1-2 grams of dope a day, ya know!?!? lol. we'll see how it all works, tho. I just want to STAY AWAY FROM DOPE!
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This is basically where I'm at and I have the same mentality when it comes to "sobriety." I look at myself as having a heroin problem. I'm not an alcoholic and I have no problems with other substances I have used in the past. That is my issue with going to meetings and how the programs of AA & NA approach addiction and alcoholism. They say you must abstain from all drug and alcohol usage. I'm at odds with that because I have been using drugs since I was 13 and I have a deep interest in psychoactive substances. How can someone tell me I can't use anything for the rest of my life when that is where a big portion of my interests lie and it has been all that I know?

Today I am once again clean from heroin, but I want the freedom to be honest and not feel ashamed at the fact I still like heroin and what it does for me and I'm once again in mourning over not using. That might sound ridiculous to some, but I think anyone posting in this thread will understand where I'm at. It's a constant struggle and I'm giving it my best effort to distance myself from dope.
 
I was able to continue to stay sober; been almost 3 weeks now, but 2 of those weeks were inside a sober house, so who knows. but right now I have no need to get dope whatsoever. lets hope things stay what way and tonight I will be playing cards and playing poker all night, so hopefully I STAY SOBER, ya know!?

we'll see, tho.
 
Yup to me I think the only way i can stay sober is from within a treatment facility...or a correctional facility...definitely don't want to go there!!! Out on these mean streets I have absolutely no control and it totally sucks azz....can I get an AMEN???
 
AMEN! Been wanting aaanything, having sub is a godsend but sometimes id like to be altered, ya knooow?;) If not for weed id be going crazy.

Im trying to take super minimal suboxone, just one dose daily of about a mg, still IV guys... Lol. Its just how its gotta be done. I want to fucking feel the H next time I get ahold of some. I miss getting those chunky grey bags. Droooool.
 
oh sweet sweet mother jesus.

ok, so ive been buying bags through a buddy of mine because hes been bagging them out himself and buns literrally cost half price for me. awesome right? sort of. his boyfriend is a meth user/dealer. walking into his house is the weirdest congregation of people ive ever seen. tweakers, junkies, and pill heads in there.

best part, im heterosexual but dont give flying fuck what others prefrences are....but when youre in a room full of 6 flamboyantly gay tweakers and junkies....my god is it entertaining. especially when the gay guys ask me what pussy feels like, i jokingly say "like a looser, more welcoming asshole"....and i swear to god i heard someone sigh as though they wish they could try. lol.

i love having gay drug user friends. also, because i showed up 15 dollars short of a bun, he just said dont worry about it so i gave him a xanny bar and a little smidgen of some white rhino bud i have for 12 bags of fun. so, awwwww yea, tonight is my shit.

hows team nod doing? i havent checked in lately. thought yall thought i was dead. im just trying to lay low before i move out to denver (honestly going for the "green rush".)
 
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maybe because the DEA in USA made hydros and others schedule !!. no docs want to prescribe even for legitimate pain.. so folks are going on methadone to keep from getting sick . its criminal !
 
^ fact. but methadone and suboxone programs arent immediately accepting of new clients, which is why they all turn to heroin. thats why hear in the northeast (i actually live in the epicenter of the VT/MA/cap region NY "epidemic"). it actually has gotten extremely extremely bad around here lately. tons of scam artists too. i have had people offer me 50 dollars for my connects because my connects are safe (due to them being long time friends/clients).

its fucking rough out here. i wish i lived in denver, with all the weed i want, a suboxone doctor, and a script of some benzos. i truly believe i can start over if i can make that happen. i have a history of growing weed that looks better than a high times centerfold, and i deal with many people with medical needs. you wouldn't velieve the extent of which i have educated myself on that plant. i need to put it to good use besides just being the dude with a big bag of weed rambling about it's origins when you only want to buy an 8th and walk away lol
 
crimsonjunk said:
I've been on a huge run the last few weeks. Doing way too much dope everyday. So I decided to take the leap and start on methadone. I have an appointment at the clinic Friday morning to get started. I hope I'm not fucking up but I feeli like I am at the end of my options. And I've been addicted for long enough now to say I'm in it for life.
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Methadone can be a godsend. It's helped me at several points in addiction where I was so sick of the using cycle but couldn't stay off. It does allow you to get your life together and focus on somethings other than copping.

Just try and stay at the lowest effective dose if you plan on coming off someday. And don't plan on coming right off , it's good to give it a year or so to get used to living without chasing the high

Nice thing about methadone is you still feel that good opiate feeling. I have actually been decreasing because I'm getting to the point that I'm tired of spending my free time nodding off (who'd have thunk I'd ever say that?!?)

Hope it goes well for you. It's def a relief to go to sleep not worrying about how you'll get well tomorrow
 
crzydiamond said:
Methadone can be a godsend. It's helped me at several points in addiction where I was so sick of the using cycle but couldn't stay off. It does allow you to get your life together and focus on somethings other than copping.

Just try and stay at the lowest effective dose if you plan on coming off someday. And don't plan on coming right off , it's good to give it a year or so to get used to living without chasing the high

Nice thing about methadone is you still feel that good opiate feeling. I have actually been decreasing because I'm getting to the point that I'm tired of spending my free time nodding off (who'd have thunk I'd ever say that?!?)

Hope it goes well for you. It's def a relief to go to sleep not worrying about how you'll get well tomorrow
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That warm opiate feeling is what I never got from suboxone. The only thing that worries me is that I don't plan to be 100 percent abstinent from other drugs especially weed. I'm hoping I can find a way around the tests or that it's not a deal breaker to fail for weed. My intake appointment is Friday and they start at 25mg so I guess I'll see how good my dope connect really is then lol.

Edit. I just found out that the methadone is 16 dollars a day or 480 dollars a month!!! Is it just me or is that fucking insane!! Thats the same as the rent on the 1 bedroom apartment I am looking at! Absolutely crazy the profiteering people get away with because well fuck junkies right?
 
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That is a little expensive. The clinic I went to from 2012-2013 was 70 a week, or 280 a month. They listed it as a package though, and required you to go to group meetings once a week at first until you had clean urines for 90 days. They went in the bathroom with you for urine tests so getting around the tests was nearly impossible. Ultimately because I loved weed too much I could never put 90 days clean and I was stuck at their stupid "level 1" program. They had levels 1 through 5. At level 5, you had a months worth of medicine to take home. But it usually would take upwards of 4 to 5 years to get to that point. I felt like it was a stupid goal to get to level 5 just to be hooked on methadone for that long. I felt like it would mean I would be on it for life and have to play the clinics little games forever. Ultimately I decided to detox off it. I relapsed and have struggled since but I have recently put together good clean time
 
man, suboxone helps me 100000x's more than methadone could ever. I take 16MG daily and I have no urge, no NOTHING to use. but when I was on methadone I used when I first started (20MG) all the way through to 95MG before I tapped out and decided methadone just is NOT doing it for me this time. made my way back down to around 19MG before I jumped off completely and was just shooting daily as usual.

I have NO CAR, so going to the clinic is/was a pain in the ass; even if I had a car it would be a pain. suboxone just helps me in every which way, esp. the driving part, ha. I have 2 DUI's and dont get a car/license back for another 4-5 months.

god bless you clinic peeps, tho. its a pain in the butt. my sub Dr. I see once a month, 60 pills, bye bye! and I dont even sell the pills anymore like I have before (years back w/ my first time on subs) because I need these motherfuckers to kill ALL URGES!~
 
crimsonjunk said:
That warm opiate feeling is what I never got from suboxone. The only thing that worries me is that I don't plan to be 100 percent abstinent from other drugs especially weed. I'm hoping I can find a way around the tests or that it's not a deal breaker to fail for weed. My intake appointment is Friday and they start at 25mg so I guess I'll see how good my dope connect really is then lol.

Edit. I just found out that the methadone is 16 dollars a day or 480 dollars a month!!! Is it just me or is that fucking insane!! Thats the same as the rent on the 1 bedroom apartment I am looking at! Absolutely crazy the profiteering people get away with because well fuck junkies right?
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Yeah some "for-profit" clinics really are expensive. The good part if you plan on using weed is the for profit ones are usually more tolerant of use. As long as they get paid...

Check into TASC. They often cover most of the costs if you don't qualify for welfare Medicaid. It varies by county but is usually around 20-30$ per week
 
i always got really stoned from methadone. It does give you a chance at a normal life ..but detoxing from it is a bitch !
 
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