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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

English/British insults

thenightwatch said:
hey EADD. i'm an American, going to temporarily invade here though to ask a European slanted question.

i live in a rural area of Michigan, and somehow a 62-year-old London-born Englishman found his way here and is now working with me at an automotive factory. he's started teaching me some English slang and insults. his favorite insult is "syphilitic fuck pig." what are some good English/British insults that i could toss back at him when i see him at work again on Monday?
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Just wrench him, hide the bod, and you'll never see him at work on Monday again ever. Won't have to bother insulting him either. Win, win.
 
Call him Jimmy Savilles best friend? You might want to google that before using it. I can't think of anything worse. He might be so offended he never speaks to you again.
 
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ferret fucker? No thats nasty to the ferret. Sheep shagger? No thats bestiality for Welsh men only. (No offense to Welsh people my kids are both Welsh and I love em to bits. My ex husband who is Welsh I would quite happily use that insult on) Wow I didn't realise how much filthy language I have stored away in my tiny little brain. After saying the words Jimmy Saville (shudders) I will have to go and wash my mouth out. What a horrible piece of work he was. He should have been strug up by his bollocks and given a slow painful death.
 
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If he ever has the need to hit something with a hammer, make sure to shout at him: "HEY!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT THE DAMN THING, NOT TICKLE IT!!!"

Works on all occasions.
 
called him a "cockney nob gobbler" at the beginning of the day and he gave me both a hearty laugh and a high five

called him a "cankle-biting half-retarded fuckstick pom" later on in the day and he just sort of glared at me

we did have a stressful day, though
 
How did 'dickslap' become 'dicksplash' anyhow? I've certainly never heard 'dicksplash', but it might be a regional variation.

One of the noblest insults of our time, and somebody had to go and corrupt it.
 
Sammy G said:
How did 'dickslap' become 'dicksplash' anyhow? I've certainly never heard 'dicksplash', but it might be a regional variation.

One of the noblest insults of our time, and somebody had to go and corrupt it.
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Surely they are two different things entirely? In the off chance that they are not, please accept my sincerest apologies Sammy G.











You dick splash. :p
 
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