English/British insults

[BigG]

As he is fairly tall how about 'lankey streak of piss'

That's always a good one. And not a typical yank insult either so he wouldn't be expecting it.

A quality piece of piss taking there Max (round of applause)

 

[maxalfie]

Thanks mate.
Usually insults would just roll off my tongue but now I'm making a concious effort to think of some my mind fails me.

 

[itsonlyme123]

Dingy.

 

[felix]

he wears Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix t-shirts.

Well, if he's into them, he sounds like a good'un. Why don't you just buy him a pint of your American piss lager and tell him he's a good cunt?

 

[pharmakos]

i think i'm going to start out with "cockney knob gobbler" first thing on monday and go from there

thanks for the ideas guys, keep 'em coming

 

[felix]

Give us a first name and we can do wonders.

 

[BigG]

Cockney knob gobbler seems a pretty solid line to me mate...

I doubt you'll go far wrong with that one. Maybe is you changed it to "Fackin' cockney knob gobbler" then all the better (emphasising the "a" in fackin' (as in rhymes with slacking)...plus always remember that if you are calling him a cunt (which is always a good road to go down) then it's pronounced "caaant" not "cunt"...If ever in doubt then a good bit of Jason Stratham based research will keep you on the right path....

Good luck (and if he ends up twating you then you must promise not to sue any of us - cos we know how fond our American brethren are of a good lawsuit )

 

[maxalfie]

a little extra weight

Lard arse

 

[felix]

Just start calling him Jimmy Savile and that's all you neeed.

 

[maxalfie]

Just start calling him Jimmy Savile and that's all you neeed.

Very true, no greater insult than that for sure.

 

[BigG]

He doesn't sound too dissimilar to old Jim'll Fix It actually when you re-read the description (other than the fact he's still alive that is)

 

[Don Luigi]

If I really wanted to insult him, I'd just comment that his recent behaviour has been rather American

 

[One Thousand Words]

Just start calling him Jimmy Savile and that's all you neeed.

I might return serve by calling him a gypsy though. Pedo>pikey

 

[zzz101]

tnw - please just call him a lazy pom because that's what he is


call that 60-year-old 'hey, Irish-man, wtf are you doing, bloody Irish!'

If I really wanted to insult him, I'd just comment that his recent behaviour has been rather American

you don't make sense. take those potatoes outa your mouth asap

 

[ColtDan]

tnw - please just call him a lazy pom because that's what he is


call that 60-year-old 'hey, Irish-man, wtf are you doing, bloody Irish!'

nah

 

[zzz101]

wat


Say something to him and then after say - IN IT and smile


i once worked with an Irishman who gave out so much shit - and one thing he hated was being called an English rofl. i mean so it can work the other way too

 

[zzz101]

I'm drunk and i am going home
I am just not funny

 

[Bearlove]

Bit off topic but still on cross culture insults - one of my favorites (Arabic) - makes no sense in English but translates roughly to 'Shit on your mums thigh' - the go to curses in English don't have the same connotations (wanker, nobjob, dickhead, cunt) etc - but bitch, or son of a bitch is really harsh (never said in fun). Even the hand gestures used in the UK don't have the same impact (frustrating when your driving and the person dose not understand you calling them a wanker, nob head etc).

 

[felix]

I always used to tell my German colleagues to "lecken mein Arschwasser" but they kept telling me it made no sense.

OP: Just randomly say "Blinky blonky blimey" at your workmate whenever he says anything unintelligible.

 

[ColtDan]

Say something to him and then after say - IN IT and smile

Innit m8