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December '14 -- SL Getting & Staying Sober Thread

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wezface said:
Smoky, I am on Gabapentin and Savella for my chronic pain and find they actually work really well. And remember, you can taper these much more easily since they don't really have abuse potential like opiates.

I hate to see anyone else in pain... if it might help, I'd say please at least give it a shot.
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Hi Wezface,

Thanks so much. I appreciate that. I'm scared of surgical procedures.
What is Savella? Is that like an snri, ssri? I've used Gabapentin for withdrawal once and Lyrica, but experienced issues with the Lyrica, a similar drug.
I started having tremors and body type jerking movements on it.

Do you need a high dose for the pain you have?
 
Captain.Heroin said:
36 days off suboxone

I still have suicidal thoughts.

Sleep is still not quite there.
Click to expand...

Congratulations on your perseverance!!

You can beat this!!

Have you considered therapy to deal with the suicidal thoughts?
It can get better! I´ve gone through this experience and it helped quite a bit..

Sleeping has always been my greatest problem but it gets better.
I know you don´t like to take meds, but certain green medicinal teas could maybe help.

Good luck man!!
 
Smoky said:
Hi Wezface,

Thanks so much. I appreciate that. I'm scared of surgical procedures.
What is Savella? Is that like an snri, ssri? I've used Gabapentin for withdrawal once and Lyrica, but experienced issues with the Lyrica, a similar drug.
I started having tremors and body type jerking movements on it.

Do you need a high dose for the pain you have?
Click to expand...

Have you been in another surgery before?
The reason I ask is because they do everything to make you calm and comfortable. No fear, no worries..

My sister takes Lyrica. I´m not quite sure if that´s working for her. Does it work for your pain?

I was just wondering that if you work with animals you tend to curve, bend many times during the day.
Have you noticed that?

For your type of pain I believe you would need a pay sick leave, would they give you this? Some time off can really help.

Wish you all the best!!:)
 
BlueSaffron said:
It's soo not that great. There's something about being sober that makes you romanticize and idealize getting high... but everytime I've caved it hasn't been the blissful opiate nirvana I was dreaming about... not even close. I'm trying to remember that this time. It's not that great, at least not for those of us who've had a habit for any length of time. I wrote about that a couple pages ago I think. At best it's only 'decent'... and when it comes time to redose it's not even decent anymore, I just feel heavy and sedated, and that's when I start thinking about how much I want to be clean. It's a stupid boring merry-go-round of pointlessness, and I'm done with it.
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"It's a stupid boring merry-go-round of pointlessness." I might quote that someday.
 
Erikmen said:
Congratulations on your perseverance!!

You can beat this!!

Have you considered therapy to deal with the suicidal thoughts?
It can get better! I´ve gone through this experience and it helped quite a bit..

Sleeping has always been my greatest problem but it gets better.
I know you don´t like to take meds, but certain green medicinal teas could maybe help.

Good luck man!!
Click to expand...

Thanks for reaching out

I have 37 days off suboxone

Still having suicidal thoughts, still hard to sleep well

I wouldn't go to a therapist.
 
Doing great...

C.H. I am a diagnosed Insomniac, sleep was a huge reason I used. It still isn't great and I have to take Seroquel for it but its better. I also have basically had to accept that my sleep will never be great. Before, I always looked at it as something I had to fix. Now, its a problem that I have to treat with medicine. Just the way I look at it basically.

6 months and 26 days clean and serene. Feels great to write that.

I have a Doctors appointment today with a new doc (I am on Obamacare). For like 60 seconds I thought to myself "Don't tell them you are an addict and see if you can get an ambien script!"... then I quickly realized how crazy that is. So what am I going to do as soon as the doctor walks in????? Tell him I am a recovering addict of course!
 
I'm just afraid I'll never be happy again, I am tired of the nightmares, flashbacks and panic/anxiety. I think all those are making the insomnia seem worse. I could probably handle crappy sleep without my sick mind.

Thank you for your input though man.
 
Erikmen said:
Have you been in another surgery before?
The reason I ask is because they do everything to make you calm and comfortable. No fear, no worries..

My sister takes Lyrica. I´m not quite sure if that´s working for her. Does it work for your pain?

I was just wondering that if you work with animals you tend to curve, bend many times during the day.
Have you noticed that?

For your type of pain I believe you would need a pay sick leave, would they give you this? Some time off can really help.

Wish you all the best!!:)
Click to expand...

Hi Erik,
Thank you…. I have had surgery before on my spine. I have to remember maybe it won't be as bad this time… I was deep in addiction and came out of surgery (was put under and all), in withdrawal, last time. It was horrible… and made matters much worse. I didn't realize it either as I was never clean before, lol. I was seeing demons… in delirium, the whole bit recovering at my aunt's house… in unbearable pain...with no access to drugs. I was on trammadol which didn't do shit. So, in withdrawals and post surgery.

I find Lyrica to be addictive, I had issues with it… I don't know… It did help with pain though.. I do take ibuprofen 800's.

That horrid experience won't happen again now that I'm clean, it's just my last experience with surgery.. so you have a point. It was incredibly traumatizing for me.

I'm self employed which makes it easier in some ways, but not others…
:)
 
After 3 months of looking I finally got a new (to me) car. I am so glad to be out of the market. I got a really good deal on a car I like although it is a lot bigger than what I am used to driving. I'm also 95% sure I've got my old broke down car sold. The combination of shopping for a car and not having a car has been a huge stressor for me so being done with it is a giant weight lifted of my shoulders. My new car is way nicer than anything I have ever owned in the past so I feel a little baller as well ;)

Final exams are in a few days as well so I am almost done with school for the semester.
 
@Smoky
I understand. You have the freedom to stay on leave but not good for business at the meantime.
I remember going through surgery and literally begging for stronger meds since I was also going through w/d.
I remember the recovery was based on the amount of painkillers they would give me.
So I guess I was quite manipulative relating all my discomfort to the surgery. It worked for a couple of days, but out of hospital it was not very easy.
They gave me Demerol. Since I had it IVed I sort of managed.
I believe things will work out just fine for you and much better this time.
Wish you good luck! And that you soon can go back to your work.:)
 
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phactor said:
Doing great...

C.H. I am a diagnosed Insomniac, sleep was a huge reason I used. It still isn't great and I have to take Seroquel for it but its better. I also have basically had to accept that my sleep will never be great. Before, I always looked at it as something I had to fix. Now, its a problem that I have to treat with medicine. Just the way I look at it basically.

6 months and 26 days clean and serene. Feels great to write that.

I have a Doctors appointment today with a new doc (I am on Obamacare). For like 60 seconds I thought to myself "Don't tell them you are an addict and see if you can get an ambien script!"... then I quickly realized how crazy that is. So what am I going to do as soon as the doctor walks in????? Tell him I am a recovering addict of course!
Click to expand...

Great decision imo.
I also take Seroquel but have been extremely sleepy during the day.
I tried to take half but it doesn´t work that well.
So either I don´t sleep or become too sleepy.
The challenge is waking up. When accomplished, if accomplished, I can manage.
Good luck with the doctor!
 
Sleep has always been the main reason I abused both benzos and opiates. Not surprisingly insomnia has also always been my most difficult withdrawal symptom. I had limited benefits from non-narcotic sleep meds such as trazadone and Seroquel but I haven't been taking anything for the past couple years. I've also come to the point where I just accept that I'm not going to sleep well or even at all some nights. I still get tremendous anxiety some nights worrying about how I am going to function the next day with no sleep but I am some what used to it.

I am lucky to get maybe 15 really good nights of sleep in an entire year at this point. On the flip side I only get maybe 15 nights of zero sleep. The rest of the time I usually get something between 4-6 hours. While this isn't ideal I've learned to live with it at this point. If you would have told me 20 years ago that I would be living with my insomnia without medication I never would have believed you. I probably wouldn't believe I ruined my life with drug addiction either though..
 
Bad day. Thought of using, but didnt. 11 days no heroin.

4mg sub the last couple days, going to try 2 1/2 tmrw.

My life is pretty empty without opiates. Up to me to fix that, i know. I just wish i had someone. Those of you who do, do something nice for them tonight, and remember how lucky you are.
 
My life is pretty empty without opiates. Up to me to fix that, i know. I just wish i had someone. Those of you who do, do something nice for them tonight, and remember how lucky you are.
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I understand where you are coming from but one of the things I have learned over the years (as far as my life goes anyway) is that happiness is something you need to find within your self rather than outside of yourself. Having people you care about in life is important especially as far as support goes but the real tough work of addiction for me is intensely personal. I decided to take some time off relationships when I started getting sober because I'm not a very good person when I'm using, I've found that being alone helps me find clarity and focus on what I need to work on in my life. Of course everyone is different and there is no one size fits all solution but if you can try to convince yourself that being alone may in fact be a positive thing it may make it a bit easier for you.

Best of luck
 
Haven't smoked cigarettes since a month now. Never felt better. Life is awesome. X)
 
BlueSaffron said:
Bad day. Thought of using, but didnt. 11 days no heroin.

4mg sub the last couple days, going to try 2 1/2 tmrw.

My life is pretty empty without opiates. Up to me to fix that, i know. I just wish i had someone. Those of you who do, do something nice for them tonight, and remember how lucky you are.
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I will Blue. I will. <3

There's someone out there for you too, just keep your options open and stay strong Hun

I have 38 days off suboxone

Less suicidal thoughts (but they still happen at completely random intervals, completely unpredictable times)

balea said:
Haven't smoked cigarettes since a month now. Never felt better. Life is awesome. X)
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Congrats !!!!! I don't smoke them and am glad to hear you got off it :)
 
Savella (milnacipran HCl) is an SNRI similar to Lyrical and Cymbalta. I absolutely hated Cymbalta, had similar stuff with you and Lyrica on it. I think it has a lower abuse potential than Lyrica.
 
I too understand chronic back pain as I have degenerative disc disease and 3 herniated discs in my lumbar spine with a lovely annular tear as the cherry on the cake, the icing being some nice sciatica. I'm on day one of a sub taper after a 60 to 75 mg a day oral oxy habit. I have never been addicted to anything so this is new territory for me but my new doctor wants to try steroids and celebrex for me and if it means no more being shackled to narcotics then I am all for it. I can't wait until I'm clean and sober. I'm excited and happy and am very grateful to have found this place and others like me who want to make a change.
 
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