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December '14 -- SL Getting & Staying Sober Thread

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13 days no heroin. Been taking 2 mg sub twice a day, this am i only took 1 mg, waiting for it to kick in... I'll probably take 1 more mg i think, cos it should be kicking in but i dont feel much, and then see if i can leave it at that and not take any more today.


As for my last post -straightrazor, i understand you needed to stop having relationships for a while to work on yourself, but that isnt the case for me. Im happy with myself, and i don't think that wanting to be with someone (and expressing that) means im not. Its a simple human need. Physical touch reduces stress. My post was referring to a specific person who im seeing, not me wishing to be with just any random guy. The situation is complicated and we dont get to see eachother as much as id like, hence me saying that if you have someone, appreciate them.
 
I'm in. just gonna find it hard goin somewhere sober. how do you do it? eg concert?
 
Thank you wez, blue, Erikmen, and smoky <3

Blue; the other day when you said to do something special for your significant other - I did

We had a great time, and I am so thankful for your guiding words. I find it so hard to enjoy the moment but when you urged me to, it made sense, and I thought about you all alone (I have spent most of my life alone) and I suddenly realized how fortunate I am to have such an amazing person in my life

So thank you dear <3 and congrats on your 2 weeks !! <3
 
I'm glad you did something special with your partner CH :). Im really glad someone took my words to heart.
 
Supportbluelight said:
how do you manage doing something sober?
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Practice. And finding other things to make you feel good. Learning to connect to the people and things around you, which is I think something a lot of addicts struggle with. Empathy. I have no grand advice except take time to clear your brain and actually notice your surroundings. The sights, the smells, the feels. Feel the ground under you and the energy around you. Touch things, taste things, smell things. Really see things.
This is what they told me to do in the psych ward to "keep myself present" and not dissociate but I think it's applicable here as well.
 
Yes but there's the Smashing Pumpkins concert on the 8th of December.
 
Its two weeks today, no heroin. I took 3mg sub yesterday, ive taken 2 today, not sure if ill take one more or not. But im not going to cop today, and i wont be able to tomorrow. i can't believe its two weeks already... By xmas itll have been more than a month.

Im still really up and down, still have moments I really want to use... But i want to try life sober. Dope will always be there if i change my mind.
 
BlueSaffron said:
Its two weeks today, no heroin. I took 3mg sub yesterday, ive taken 2 today, not sure if ill take one more or not. But im not going to cop today, and i wont be able to tomorrow. i can't believe its two weeks already... By xmas itll have been more than a month.

Im still really up and down, still have moments I really want to use... But i want to try life sober. Dope will always be there if i change my mind.
Click to expand...

I have a lot of ups and downs too

Today was fucking difficult for me.

I am so proud of you Blue, keep up the great work!!
 
Well done guys. I've noticed you around bluelight a lot Captain.Heroin (I'm a longtime lurker). I hope you can get where you want to be in life, you've helped a lot of people I'm sure. Keep up the good work man.
I've been off poppy tea since the 17/11/14, and off oxy since 29/11/14. On suboxone 4mg everyday now (since 1st dec), it's only been a week but I can already tell this drug's gonna cause problems when I try to stop. Atleast I'm off full agonists, and have been since my last oxy on the 29th. Longest I've gone without full agonists since I started using them regularly so that's a positive I guess, kind of embarrassing though.
 
Only 3 mg sub for the 2nd day, & im feeling it tonight- sniffly, hard to enjoy anything, and i probly wont sleep much tonight. I wanted 2 more mg so bad a few hours ago, but you know what? FUCK THAT. Didnt touch it. Its 11pm now & would be stupid to take it this late. Going to try to get by on 2mg tomorrow. I want off it, I'm serious. I want off all drugs. I want to feel again.

And while im on the subject, fuck "PAWS". Paws are what my godpuppy has-four of them. I expect to be back to normal by January.

im going to have some hot chocolate with a metric ton of marshmallows and go to bed on my 3 mg. goodnight all.
 
24 more down good people=D

good_night_tree-f3a47a594b358b3358f65ef801621da5.jpg


I never was into porn that much, but in the last two years i became a regular consumer. Regular consumption of this shit clearly can have negative consequences. I have found that it really is like a drug in that tolerance is clearly involved. The change in parameters needed for stimulation end up affecting aspects of normal sexual relations. I dont think I have a porn addiction going on yet, but if I continue to view this shit it might not be that far away. So im done with that shit for good.

Quitting the tobacco on or before the 1st. unitentionally went almost 24 hours yesterday and was feeling pretty batshit crazy. Yeah its going to suck. But it needs to happen and its never going to be a good time or get any easier.

I have to say that is has been fucking great not withdrawing from anything in years. Just need to knock this one last drug outa my universe and with a little luck and planning i will never face another substance withdrawal on this blue ball.

Hope everyones doing great.
 
Someone once told me that one will always need something to distract.
That could be chewing tobacco or gambling. Porn works for lots of people, etc, etc, etc.
We were made to function on a reward system. So some people are just addicted to make money too. And they always lost too much before making a little more.
That´s how life is designed for human beings I guess.
 
Congrats NSA, I heard food and sex can be difficult to give up as we are wired to experience (and need) them to survive… I do my best to transcend my pain into something healthy … but it's not easy.
For me I find myself in need of sugar all the time…. I don't know if I can give up chocolate or sugar. I have not had my blood work done cos I have not been able to go without coffee in the morning. I have to fast. That's crazy, hence my hep C and fasting glucose tests have been put off. Maybe by writing this herein I will just DO it, this week. Procrastination is a biggie for me cos I don't want to know the outcome of my tests, as that will mean 'change' needs to happen as an addict, I don't like change…

I'm embracing it though ... in other areas and making progress. Some areas are just very difficult to face… like medical stuff…
 
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I have nicotine cravings - mostly at evenings. Some say it´s due to the medications.
 
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I could go get high right now. I guess I am avoiding it because I finally realize that there WILL BE a shit trade off for feeling great for a day, and I don't feel bad now. I contacted the connect last night after fighting with my gf. Woke up to message that he has the fire. But I delayed because what's the point anymore, I know I'll regret it. Anybody got supportive words in this situation?? thanks
 
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