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Gibberings CLXXII - I Have Zero Imagination

Dont run yourself down so much.. you're probably doing far better than you're giving yourself credit for..

I often doubt myself and ability, im always thinking im going to be rumbled as a chancer who doesnt have a clue what im talking about... in reality though im pretty good at what I do, according to the companies I work for anyway..

Have a bit of faith in yourself :)
 
^^ Give it your best and if its not good enough then at least you know you aren't ready to be back in employment or the role was not for you. If not you will probably be wondering what if at a later date.

Think back to how pleased you were you had landed a job after quite a while out of work. Stick with it i'm sure you things will be looking up sooner rather than later, it always takes a while to settle in to a new job, especially after being out of the loop for a bit.
 
What the fuck, MDB? Two sickies already, for no reason other than you wanted to binge on some shitty stim?

How long have you been at that job? Can't be much more than a couple of weeks, can it? And you're still training?

I don't think I've had much more than two sick days in the last two years, and that's with some genuine 'issues' that would have warranted a lot more time off. Using your mental health concerns as an excuse for stupidity with drugs is just unbelievably irresponsible, and won't convince your employer of anything other than your unreliability.

You'll be extremely lucky to keep that job.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but somebody had to say it.
 
mydrugbuddy said:
Fuck, just done 2 pentedrone allnighters, missed my 2nd day at work allready. My head was a paranoid negative wreck this morning, i was thinking about quitting my job. I may well be sacked anyway, but first im gonna send my manager an email about my "extenuating circumstances" and that im "in recovery" not from from drugs, but from mental health issues, like depression, paranoia, low self esteem (is that a MH issue:?) and anxiety. Actually narh, i wont mention low self esteem or paranioa.
.
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Madness.

You moan on here for months about being unemployed, got to tons of interviews and have been unsuccessful....THEN eventually, someone gives you a chance.... and you land a job...




And you what!? risk the entire thing so you can enjoy a few lonely nights taking stims and posting on here??????????????






























Congrats. , You're becoming a true EADD'er ;)
 
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Sammy G said:
FG, you've mentioned this drug cartel coming to get you several times. If that really is the case, how the fuck do you expect the drugs to help? Should you not be getting the police involved, or failing that, just getting out of the area completely?

I really can't see how the drugs will help, and I think you're just using this as yet another excuse for the kind of drug binge which inevitably ends in disaster. It seems the more concern people show, the more stupid binges you go on. Do you not see how that grates over time?

I know you well enough to know you're not stupid. So if you're not stupid and you're not trolling, what the fuck are you doing?
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It sounds like he is blotting out/escaping painful realities with drugs?

This is where taking up with drugs support wokers helps. They get people to see the difference in long term vs short term thinking. So a binge might be some form of temporary relief/release/escapsim, but long term it will only make things worse. It took many months for DWs to get this message through to me, even now i am not entirely in control of everything as much as i would like to be, but overall i have made some progres.

I would rather FG continue posting/venting his feelings than just keeping them to himself, disappearing on us and dieing. The issues are obviously looming very large in his mind, and yes FG you do need to get help to work through thse issues. Even someone here may be able to say something that connect with him/gets through to him, but he would be better engaging with professional help asap.
 
ScotchMist said:
Dont run yourself down so much.. you're probably doing far better than you're giving yourself credit for...Have a bit of faith in yourself :)
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SM hit the jackpot MDB... you are just in a bit of a cycle of negative thoughts by the sounds of things.

mydrugbuddy said:
I can turn this around, with the right will and attitude.
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Yes you can & I'm sure you will. :)

Did you call in sick or just not turn up at all? Either way it might be an idea to let your boss known your extenuating circumstances (mental health stuff)... but you could always make your excuses for now & wait until you've been back in work a few days.

I am fortunate myself in that I am in such a situation as I can go through the re-adjustment stage without the stresses of making ends meet. My Psychiatrist pretty much told me starting a full-time job would be a bad idea for me... I'm supposed to be contacting some local organisation that helps people who are long term unemployed because of mental health problems to get out & start doing things. (not necessarily jobs straight away, like group things etc.)
 
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mydrugbuddy said:
It sounds like he is blotting out/escaping painful realities with drugs?
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No, the real problem is that he's making his reality 1000x more painful with drugs.

As for MDB explaining any extenuating circumstances, 'I had a drug binge' doesn't usually wash, especially for those undergoing a probationary period.
 
ponch said:
^^ Give it your best and if its not good enough then at least you know you aren't ready to be back in employment or the role was not for you. If not you will probably be wondering what if at a later date.
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yep, thats all i can do now. As i was saying earlier i have made some progress, but occasionally have trouble controlling impulsive binges. I am very rusty in all departments, so even if i do get sacked, which as sam saaid is quile likely i can use my remaining time to re-adjust to the working routine, and practicing on improving my social skills and stuff.
 
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Sammy G said:
What the fuck, MDB? Two sickies already, for no reason other than you wanted to binge on some shitty stim?

How long have you been at that job? Can't be much more than a couple of weeks, can it? And you're still training?

I don't think I've had much more than two sick days in the last two years, and that's with some genuine 'issues' that would have warranted a lot more time off. Using your mental health concerns as an excuse for stupidity with drugs is just unbelievably irresponsible, and won't convince your employer of anything other than your unreliability.

You'll be extremely lucky to keep that job.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but somebody had to say it.
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Unless i make a miraculous turn around you're probably right. What did annoy me with that post was that you sometimes seem to imply that my issues are not genuine :? Yes i often create problems for myself, but this is what i need help with to stop myself from keeping doing this. Walk a mile in someone else shoes and all that.
 
Sammy G said:
Why don't you just keep the stims to the weekend? Or have you been going into work on stims and then continuing in the evening?
Click to expand...

I get one day off here and there. One allnighter took far more out of me than i expected, when the alarm went off the next morning i had taken so many benzoes the night before in order to sleep i had no judgement or motivation that morning.
 
I'm not implying your issues aren't genuine, MDB.

What I'm saying is that you shouldn't use your genuine problems (anxiety, depression etc.) to rationalise (and to an extent excuse) what is obviously irresponsible and self-destructive drug use. There are thousands of people in your position or worse who aren't boshing pentedrone and throwing sickies.
 
What the fuck is pentedrone anyway? At least get some decent gear in if you're going to have a two day wank session and miss work.

I'll be missing work the mora. Landlord is sending some cunt round to fix a leaking shower and I'll be fucked if I'm letting the cunts snoop about here when I'm not in, so a cheeky day aff it is. Fucking needing it, been up all night wired on acid.
 
^Because he is PTCH?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds rather like you have a problem with misusing drugs on top of all your other issues. I don't think for a moment that you are simply caning drugs because you want to get fucked, right?

It sounds rather like you are having trouble adjusting to working / that job & you are falling back on drugs. I can relate to justifying drug use for just about every reason under the sun when in reality, I was using them as a coping mechanism. Bad plan.
 
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