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Sex with Two Strangers

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debs64

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 10, 2014
Messages
6
Hi there,

I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this, so hope it's okay to say on here. A few weeks ago I attended a friend's wedding out in the countryside. It was a big reunion and in her small home village, and guests ended up staying wherever. I stayed with the brother of my friend (the bride). I'd never met him before but he lives with his boyfriend so I didn't really think it would be that weird or uncomfortable. I stayed with them for three nights and somehow it quickly got to the stage where, on the second two nights, they did pretty much everything they could to me. Alcohol was involved - I've had issues with it in the past. I feel humiliated and shaken up by what they did but so so aroused still. Unlikely I'll ever see them again, and I almost certainly won't admit this to anyone I know. But it's messing with my head so just typing it out here.

Debs
 
Nothing to feel ashamed of if you had a good time and you weren't mistreated! Its all in good fun!
 
Apologies for not being clearer with my initial message - I didn't want to appear crude! - but there was a lot of mistreatment involved. It's where a lot of this conflict has come from. I've had my fair share of experiences in the past - threesomes with two guys and another couple - but this was rough and savage and psychologically manipulative. I was up for everything as my head was in a crazy place but even then it was pushing the limits of consent. Please don't think I'm a bit of a prude regretting something the next morning! Even in my wilder younger years I always felt pretty much in control sexually, so this has thrown me for a bit of a loop. Thank you for your kind words too.
 
So , let me get this straight, I'm a little confused. You are a female who had sex with 2 bi-sexual males ?
 
Yes. I'm a female and they are two bi males, who I thought were gay. They live together. I hadn't met them before but as one is the brother of my friend (the bride), it seemed like an easy enough way to stay locally. There aren't many B& Bs in that neck of the woods, so I stayed in their spare room, another friend stayed with the bride's cousin, etc. I got on with them quite well - we drank a lot and had a laugh and ended up trading raunchy jokes and stories. That continued into the second night but that's when we also started fooling around together. Which was great - I've led a life, and I enjoy sex - but it soon escalated into something far rougher. I was taking pleasure from it all, on one level, but my head was all over the place and I simply didn't know how to back away or calm it down. I was in a bit of a stunned daze for the remainder of the weekend, and they effectively had me all night over the second two nights. They were degrading and verbally abusive and everything about it went against my politics and sense of self, yet I had more orgasms that weekend than I can remember. It's just now, away from it and in the cold light of day, I can't quite get to grips with what I let them do. I know I should just chalk it down to, 'I enjoyed it, just accept it and move on,' but it feels so much more complex than that.
 
debs64 said:
That continued into the second night but that's when we also started fooling around together. Which was great - I've led a life, and I enjoy sex - but it soon escalated into something far rougher. I was taking pleasure from it all, on one level, but my head was all over the place and I simply didn't know how to back away or calm it down. They were degrading and verbally abusive and everything about it went against my politics and sense of self, yet I had more orgasms that weekend than I can remember. It's just now, away from it and in the cold light of day, I can't quite get to grips with what I let them do. I know I should just chalk it down to, 'I enjoyed it, just accept it and move on,' but it feels so much more complex than that.
Click to expand...

Are you not just a bit ashamed (not judging) or embarrassed that you let it go that far? Look at it another way - your an adult, you had consensual sex with a couple of other people. Maybe its outside of your comfort zone, not the norm for you (which made it all the better) - your just taking a bit of time to understand wft.

Did anything happen to you in which you said - NO? You stayed for two nights, if the first night was bad you wouldn't have gone back for more?

If they invited you to visit - would you ?
 
Bearlove - yes, it was outside my comfort zones both physically and mentally. Please don't think I'm suggesting rape: it WAS consensual - but on the margins where shame and doubt and genuine fear come in to it too. Maybe I'm making too big a deal of things, and apologies if it sounds that way. But this is all new territory for me, despite years of experience, so I'm a touch thrown. X
 
Here's something I can tell you from a guy's perspective (not necessarily these particular guys, but very likely the same): It was just sex and fun. The rough part was play, like role play. It worked for them and it worked for you. Outside of the bedroom they probably respect and like you. You were like-minded people getting off in a way that would be very wrong and degrading if it were not consensual, but that gave each of you what you needed sexually in a safe environment.
 
debs64 said:
Please don't think I'm suggesting rape: it WAS consensual -X
Click to expand...

Would you do it again ?

Sometimes it's nice to be pushed outside your comfort zone though - often your day to day comfort zone is perceived out of availability and almost becomes routine. Every now and then you can get fucked in a way you (day to day) would think as vicious, savage, humiliating, degrading - but at the time you love it, you want more, you love it. Next day when your thinking clearly (I do not mean drunk / high) you think wtf was I doing -then you think - did I enjoy it?

You had great sex that you enjoyed (you did) - yeah its made you question what you thought of as normal - isn't that the joy of exploring ?

We all know our boundaries - we all know what we will accept, I have been in some fucked up situation but I have always been able to say or suggest 'no'.

Bear
 
sounds like typical post meaningless sex blues mixed with a lack of self respect.

dirty sex with strangers never leaves anyone with a feelgood factor for longer than a few hours afterwards, then comes the remorse/i could be doing so much more with my life type thoughts...
 
I don't think I'd do it again with the same two men. As I mentioned, I have had threesomes before, but they were more traditionally 'feel good.' I bled for two days after this and there was so much verbal abuse that got into my head. It's clearly what they are into and I just don't feel confident I'd be able to control that. Maybe if going into it again, with my eyes wide open, it would be a different mind set and so a different experience, but that would be a deliberate gamble I'm not too keen to take.
 
Listen, you made a mistake so dont beat yourself up about it. However, if you consented to a threesome with say a bit of oral and then them taking turns, but it turned out to be you getting slapped around and DP'd against your will then please go to the police, it seems like things got out of hand if 'you bled for two days afterwards'

Also, you shouldn't feel ashamed that it got that far. ITs not your fault! It was you, a female against two men, and it does sound like they took advantage of the situation.

Finally, please get yourself checked out if you didnt use protection, because where there is blood there is a high risk of blood borne pathogens, and if they are bi-sexuals they are considered high risk due to the fact that they have anal sex. (high risk for HIV, Hep A, B and C). You sound like you are from England so there are lots of free and confidential places to get tested, so please do so.
 
If you had more orgasms in that two days , what was it exactly about the physical part that you found to be too extreme ? Was it just verbal abuse that got under your skin ?
 
EP158207 said:
Listen, you made a mistake so dont beat yourself up about it. However, if you consented to a threesome with say a bit of oral and then them taking turns, but it turned out to be you getting slapped around and DP'd against your will then please go to the police, it seems like things got out of hand if 'you bled for two days afterwards'

Also, you shouldn't feel ashamed that it got that far. ITs not your fault! It was you, a female against two men, and it does sound like they took advantage of the situation.

Finally, please get yourself checked out if you didnt use protection, because where there is blood there is a high risk of blood borne pathogens, and if they are bi-sexuals they are considered high risk due to the fact that they have anal sex. (high risk for HIV, Hep A, B and C). You sound like you are from England so there are lots of free and confidential places to get tested, so please do so.
Click to expand...

It was not rape - the op has said she let them do it. Yes it does sound like it went a bit too far (especially if she was bleeding etc) - but to start getting the police involved for something that you consented in is a bit much. Obviously if it was rape, or anything was done against her will, or after she had said no then that is another matter.

OP - if you wanted to get a bit of closure why not speak with the couple of guys, explain your thoughts, say that you feel that you were used and that they hurt you. They could have thought you were into rough play.
 
I agree 100% with Bearlove. Going to the police doesn't seem right in this situation. Being degraded and obviously used beyond a little rough sex is wrong in my opinion. She never stated that she said no, or asked them to stop. Maybe the bit of fear she was experiencing was the reason for it. (Not asking them to stop.)

Strangely, there can be a sexually exciting aspect to being dominated and degraded. Hence all the orgasms.

Debs, I know it will take you awhile to get over all these feelings you're having but I think you came to the right place. Most of us on here are living in glass houses and damn sure won't cast stones of judgement at you. I will say the psychological bullshit went too far and I hope you can come to peace with yourself soon. My heart honestly hurts for you. Hugs!

And Bearlove, I absolutely respect your thoughts, advice and complete candid way of speaking on here and the thread offering advice to the youngster questioning his sexuality. Found myself nodding in agreement and even made a few un-ladylike snort laughs. Thanks fir that
 
I still stand by the fact that if the OP didn't agree to the degradation and forceful sex that led to bleeding, then it is sexual assault . these guys now think its okay to treat women like this. I don't think thats right. Also, there are people who climax during rape, its a natural response. So the OP liked it at the time, her body responded, but she is really conflicted and hurting now.

Debs, I hope you feel better soon, both mentally and physically.
 
Debs stayed a third night after night two when she said the sex started. And when asked if she would do it again she said she didn't "think" so. Maybe I'm reading it wrong as it can be tricky to read emotion sometimes through writing, but she didn't answer with a resounding "NO WAY"
 
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