• H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist

June Getting and/or Staying Sober Thread

Hang in there, omen <3 soon enough you'll have more and more of those good days/feelings while the negative ones become less and less!! It's all gonna balance itself out I promise :)
 
Off maybe close to 2 weeks very little alcohol also. Devil got me as he often does handed it over without me even asking or really thinking bout it. No second thoughts straight back on. All gone I'm glad but a sleepless nothing what for night again. I'm not wanting more only the 1 night just another little set back. Just pray that the gaps get bigger and bigger until all just a terrible memory.
 
Off maybe close to 2 weeks very little alcohol also. Devil got me as he often does handed it over without me even asking or really thinking bout it. No second thoughts straight back on. All gone I'm glad but a sleepless nothing what for night again. I'm not wanting more only the 1 night just another little set back. Just pray that the gaps get bigger and bigger until all just a terrible memory.

Did you ever hitup an NA/AA meeting?
 
24 more amazing people<3

Night_Scene.jpg
 
I had a little slip yesterday but I am clean again today. I am happy, content and resolute. I plan on hitting up the local NA groups because I get a bit lonely and all my friends use so I need to expand my horizons and find some like minded company. I feel stronger when I can relapse and move forward the next day. I just need to find a way to resist these little slips. I am willing to try or do anything because although my usage is rather infrequent it still sets back my recovery and I wish to move forward in my life. I want to do the things the "squares" do. Live life and thrive. I am on the threshold and I refuse to slide back into a life of addiction and dependence. Today I am clean and happy.
 
Rough day today. In the past if i had a day like today i wouldve used, no question. Wouldve been like hey, i DESERVE to be able to do some after today. Im not going thru this sober/sick. But i didnt use. Just didnt feel like it would really make me feel better, and felt like any positive feelings would be outweighed by guilt, sadness and more withdrawal. And thats the truth.

I hesitate to say ive 'turned a corner' or anything like that... But I'm peeking around the corner. So far, it looks ok over there. We'll see :)
 
Well damn i'll have 90 days tomorrow the time actually went by really quick. I'm still struggling on most days though mostly with boredom and loneliness. Basically I spent months in rehab and then a sober house surrounded by folks in recovery but now being back home it seems like I have no one again. All my old friends from my hometown are users and my anxiety is keeping me from making new ones. Sobriety just seems pointless for me if I can't even go see Phish at Merriweather this summer (let's face it staying sober there is near impossible).

I'm trying this bullshit IOP thing, where everyone is always using, to try and meet some chill people but with no benzo as a crutch i'm finding that it's just backfiring on me. I can't wait until tomorrow when I get some phenibut in the mail that shit is actually great for anxiety and sleep though I guess it can be habit forming too. I'll continue to keep at it since i've gotten this far and hopefully things will improve with time. There have been many positives to come from this actually but I just felt like venting a bit. Keep at it everyone the time will fly by for the newcomers and I appreciate the inspiration from the others!
 
I've been having a few issues with my drinking as well so it will help with that too, reduces the amount of satisfaction you get from it.

Apparently it also helps kickstart the brain's natural systems too, don't ask me why, just something my key worker said to me (15 years experience in D+A work).It also paradoxically potentiates opiates in pain patients at certain doses I think. The brain is a strange and marvellous thing.

I'll let you know, tbh I swear I feel better already though.
 
It does have that potential. It helps occupy excessive μ-opioid receptors. :)

Are you going to do a tablet, shot, implant?

Most drugs of abuse, specifically opiates, alcohol, cannabis, and others effect endorphins, indirectly or directly.

Since it's an antagonist it won't make you feel high whatsoever, and it should alleviate the bad feelings associated with withdrawal and cravings.
 
Tablets, would have to go private if I want anythng else. They have a couple of days leeway on them though because of the protein binding/active metabolites I think. Not like you can just wake up, not take your pill and get high. This may be of mixed truth from person to person I think.
 
Well damn i'll have 90 days tomorrow the time actually went by really quick. I'm still struggling on most days though mostly with boredom and loneliness. Basically I spent months in rehab and then a sober house surrounded by folks in recovery but now being back home it seems like I have no one again. All my old friends from my hometown are users and my anxiety is keeping me from making new ones. Sobriety just seems pointless for me if I can't even go see Phish at Merriweather this summer (let's face it staying sober there is near impossible).

I'm trying this bullshit IOP thing, where everyone is always using, to try and meet some chill people but with no benzo as a crutch i'm finding that it's just backfiring on me. I can't wait until tomorrow when I get some phenibut in the mail that shit is actually great for anxiety and sleep though I guess it can be habit forming too. I'll continue to keep at it since i've gotten this far and hopefully things will improve with time. There have been many positives to come from this actually but I just felt like venting a bit. Keep at it everyone the time will fly by for the newcomers and I appreciate the inspiration from the others!

I have done lots of shows clean, but there is no way I can go this summer. I know I am not ready and this recovery is dead serious for me (as in I don't think I have another one left). That being said, there are meetings at shows (The Phellowship).

http://www.phellowship.net/about_us

Please be really careful with the Phenibut. There is no way I would touch the stuff personally. I got hooked on that shit real quick. It didn't provide much benefit (still abused it like the addict I am of course) and man did the withdrawals fucking suck. No sleep for days.

---

Anyways I have 6 weeks and 4 days totally clean today. Kinda feel odd today, like I am breaking up with a really close friend. I have felt this way before.

Also, I am kinda fucking pissed. I am trying to find a provider for Vivitrol injections. I work two jobs, am a graduate student and thus am on Medicaid. Nobody around here takes Medicaid for Vivitrol. No way I could afford it because its around 1500 for ONE FUCKING INJECTION. Here I am, trying to take extra measures to stay clean (and doing quite well so far if I do say so) and I cannot afford it because our healthcare system is still out of wack. I am Grateful to have coverage, don't get me wrong (my state did a huge expansion after HCR was passed) but still I wish they would provide me with things that will ultimately lower the costs for everyone.
 
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Going to the clinic soon.... I had decided yesterday that i was going to go up a decent amount, from 20 to maybe 25-28 or more, because im anxious and down a lot, to the point where its hard for me to do everyday things, & its not leveling out... But now im having doubts. Ive gotten down to 20, i hate to go up again... But then, i need to be able to function.

I'm not sure what to do :/
 
Hiya everyone, I hope that you're all doing well. I just want to say, good luck to anyone who is quitting / has quit and wishing you all well in your recoveries. You all CAN do this, even if at times you feel you can't.

I have reduced from 12 mg to 8 mg s******* over the last few months - and have actually felt a lot better, believe it or not, for doing so.

Take care,

Evey
 
I went up 5, to 25. I feel like shit. I was so happy to be down to 20, but the withdrawal, anxiety, and lack of motivation were killing me. I was crying every day. Part of me feels like i shldve toughed it out... Part of me even feels like i should just jump off at 20 and do it cold turkey. I havent heard from tbe guy im seeing in 2 days.

I just want to not feel anything anymore. Im not sure theres much of a point for me.
 
Going to the clinic soon.... I had decided yesterday that i was going to go up a decent amount, from 20 to maybe 25-28 or more, because im anxious and down a lot, to the point where its hard for me to do everyday things, & its not leveling out... But now im having doubts. Ive gotten down to 20, i hate to go up again... But then, i need to be able to function.

I'm not sure what to do :/

Arm yourself well with appropriate meds, secure a comfortable location and the time to detox. Jump.

Worked for me, precisely the symptoms you are describing are the reasons I didn't taper.
 
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