bropiate
Bluelighter
A darker side to 25I NBOH
Took another dose of 25I NBOH yesterday afternoon; 1.7mg (or as close to 1.7mg as a 1ml syringe will let me measure) nasally, this time without any benzos. Before dosing I'd a vague worry that, (despite only taking etizolam for 6 days and not experiencing any sort of withdrawal effect other than very mild rebound insomnia), the NBOH might precipitate a seizure. As I started to come up this worry was amplified into a very dark and uncomfortable two hours. I'll do my best to explain them:
+ 00 - Squirted the 1.7mg of NBOH dissolved in vodka up my nose; it burned like hell and seemed to go everywhere, some running out of my other nostril. I'd recommend dosing liquids rectally from now on; I'm convinced it will be much less uncomfortable.
+15 - First alerts are apparent, dilated pupils along with jaw clenching appear; I try to watch the Transformers animated movie but end up giving up after 5-10 minutes, it just seemed much too loud and confusing. I put on aphex twin and watched the planet visualiser on the PS3 in the hope that it would calm me down.
+30 - I'm fully tripping now and it's not at all comfortable, I've got bucketloads of nausea along with immensely powerful OEVs, my skin seems to feel electric all over. I get up to try and drink some water and the nausea starts to overpower me.
+35 - I've entered a state of almost complete dysphoria, I manage to get myself up the stairs and curl up in bed; I close the curtains to try to blot out all external light and uncomfortable stimuli. After ten minutes the nausea gets unbearable, I run out to the bathroom and throw up what looks and tastes exactly like blood, I manage to put this down to the fact that I was tripping; there was no pharmacological reason for me to be vomiting blood. After flushing the vomit I went back to bed.
+50 - As I become accustomed to the state of almost complete sensory deprivation I begin to get the most vivid and amazing visuals in the blackness; at first they're completely sodden with my feelings of fear and panic and consisted of me having an out-of-body experience looking down on myself while looking an awful lot like the guy in the Alex Grey 'bad trip' picture. After twenty minutes of ego-consuming thought and terror the experience changed abruptly; I got a feeling that some benevolent presence was trying to help me overcome the feelings of fear and can remember thinking "You've no benzos to cheat the trip with, how are you going to make this better; you have to fix things yourself." after this the visuals changed very rapidly and were reminiscent of the animation sequences in Pink Floyd's "The wall". I saw vast abandoned cities that took form out of fractals as if they were made of some sort of ferrofluid, nameless, faceless entities tried to communicate some sort of message of benevolence to me through this whole experience telepathically; at moments my whole life flashed before my eyes, at others I saw objects and things that defied all known laws of physics, none of it was especially pleasant nor was it unpleasant, it was as if something had me in it's grip and was trying to put as much information into my mind as quickly as possible. This continued for at least an hour and I saw things I can't explain in words and things I can barely comprehend in my own sober mind. I've never managed to break through on DMT despite taking large amounts of it so the only thing I can liken this to is an extremely bizarre experience on ketamine, which was also neither pleasant yet unpleasant.
+2:30 - I finally emerged from what must have been the peak and was able to get out of my bed and move into the light, the previous experience gave me a feeling of achievement, as if I'd accomplished a difficult task, as if I'd just climbed a mountain. While this two-hour peak was less pleasant than my last it was many times more rewarding and I came away feeling elated that I'd managed to work things out on my own; it was a hard but necessary lesson in self-sufficiency and changes my feelings about using benzos to abort a mildly uncomfortable trip. I move down to the living room and put the music back on and continue watching the visualiser on the PS3 for half an hour.
+3:00 - Getting bored of listening to music I fire up 'The Journey' on the PS3, which along with the amazing visualiser is one of the few things that make the PS3 more than an expensive Blu-Ray player. I'd definitely recommend that anyone with a PS3 buy it; it's something you can very easily play when tripping and is an all round brilliant experience while tripping. It acted as a catalyst to my abstract thought pattern and kept me thinking about things like gods, souls, artificial intelligence and time travel. I played the game through to the end, which took about two hours and enjoyed it just as much as the first time I played it.
+5:00 - Feeling somewhat worn out I move upstairs to watch TV and listen to music on the computer, I try to cook some steak but couldn't hold down more than one bite of it, the rest ends up going to the cat. I sit at the computer doing nothing in particular until I reach the 8 hour mark (~2330) after which I feel too shaken up and worn out to use the computer any more; I try to sleep despite feeling that this will be a futile attempt and manage to fall asleep within 40 minutes; a record time for me, especially after tripping. I'm usually up until 3-4 in the morning every night as I suffer from pretty bad insomnia. I wake up at 0700 and lie in bed thinking about last night's experience until about 0830-0900 after that I enjoy a few more hours of (somewhat broken) sleep up until 1630.
This experience, while not being the most pleasant has definitely re-defined 25I NBOH as a mainly visual psychedelic with little mental element to a potent psychedelic with mindfuck abilities that rival everything else I've tried. It's also brought me to the conclusion that difficult trips should not just be aborted because they are difficult, but the person tripping should isolate themselves and let them work things out on their own. If this fails to work after an hour or they show violent/self harming tendencies then benzos should be administered/help summoned as needed. Completing a hard task can be many times more rewarding than abandoning it, even if completing it causes marked distress. As for whether I felt the experience was good or bad; I'd rate it as a good experience, although very unnerving and mildly traumatic; I'd only rate a trip as bad if nothing of value was gained from it and I've a feeling that if I'd noped out of it with benzos I'd be here complaining about a 'bad trip' rather than a gloomy but rewarding experience.
Took another dose of 25I NBOH yesterday afternoon; 1.7mg (or as close to 1.7mg as a 1ml syringe will let me measure) nasally, this time without any benzos. Before dosing I'd a vague worry that, (despite only taking etizolam for 6 days and not experiencing any sort of withdrawal effect other than very mild rebound insomnia), the NBOH might precipitate a seizure. As I started to come up this worry was amplified into a very dark and uncomfortable two hours. I'll do my best to explain them:
+ 00 - Squirted the 1.7mg of NBOH dissolved in vodka up my nose; it burned like hell and seemed to go everywhere, some running out of my other nostril. I'd recommend dosing liquids rectally from now on; I'm convinced it will be much less uncomfortable.
+15 - First alerts are apparent, dilated pupils along with jaw clenching appear; I try to watch the Transformers animated movie but end up giving up after 5-10 minutes, it just seemed much too loud and confusing. I put on aphex twin and watched the planet visualiser on the PS3 in the hope that it would calm me down.
+30 - I'm fully tripping now and it's not at all comfortable, I've got bucketloads of nausea along with immensely powerful OEVs, my skin seems to feel electric all over. I get up to try and drink some water and the nausea starts to overpower me.
+35 - I've entered a state of almost complete dysphoria, I manage to get myself up the stairs and curl up in bed; I close the curtains to try to blot out all external light and uncomfortable stimuli. After ten minutes the nausea gets unbearable, I run out to the bathroom and throw up what looks and tastes exactly like blood, I manage to put this down to the fact that I was tripping; there was no pharmacological reason for me to be vomiting blood. After flushing the vomit I went back to bed.
+50 - As I become accustomed to the state of almost complete sensory deprivation I begin to get the most vivid and amazing visuals in the blackness; at first they're completely sodden with my feelings of fear and panic and consisted of me having an out-of-body experience looking down on myself while looking an awful lot like the guy in the Alex Grey 'bad trip' picture. After twenty minutes of ego-consuming thought and terror the experience changed abruptly; I got a feeling that some benevolent presence was trying to help me overcome the feelings of fear and can remember thinking "You've no benzos to cheat the trip with, how are you going to make this better; you have to fix things yourself." after this the visuals changed very rapidly and were reminiscent of the animation sequences in Pink Floyd's "The wall". I saw vast abandoned cities that took form out of fractals as if they were made of some sort of ferrofluid, nameless, faceless entities tried to communicate some sort of message of benevolence to me through this whole experience telepathically; at moments my whole life flashed before my eyes, at others I saw objects and things that defied all known laws of physics, none of it was especially pleasant nor was it unpleasant, it was as if something had me in it's grip and was trying to put as much information into my mind as quickly as possible. This continued for at least an hour and I saw things I can't explain in words and things I can barely comprehend in my own sober mind. I've never managed to break through on DMT despite taking large amounts of it so the only thing I can liken this to is an extremely bizarre experience on ketamine, which was also neither pleasant yet unpleasant.
+2:30 - I finally emerged from what must have been the peak and was able to get out of my bed and move into the light, the previous experience gave me a feeling of achievement, as if I'd accomplished a difficult task, as if I'd just climbed a mountain. While this two-hour peak was less pleasant than my last it was many times more rewarding and I came away feeling elated that I'd managed to work things out on my own; it was a hard but necessary lesson in self-sufficiency and changes my feelings about using benzos to abort a mildly uncomfortable trip. I move down to the living room and put the music back on and continue watching the visualiser on the PS3 for half an hour.
+3:00 - Getting bored of listening to music I fire up 'The Journey' on the PS3, which along with the amazing visualiser is one of the few things that make the PS3 more than an expensive Blu-Ray player. I'd definitely recommend that anyone with a PS3 buy it; it's something you can very easily play when tripping and is an all round brilliant experience while tripping. It acted as a catalyst to my abstract thought pattern and kept me thinking about things like gods, souls, artificial intelligence and time travel. I played the game through to the end, which took about two hours and enjoyed it just as much as the first time I played it.
+5:00 - Feeling somewhat worn out I move upstairs to watch TV and listen to music on the computer, I try to cook some steak but couldn't hold down more than one bite of it, the rest ends up going to the cat. I sit at the computer doing nothing in particular until I reach the 8 hour mark (~2330) after which I feel too shaken up and worn out to use the computer any more; I try to sleep despite feeling that this will be a futile attempt and manage to fall asleep within 40 minutes; a record time for me, especially after tripping. I'm usually up until 3-4 in the morning every night as I suffer from pretty bad insomnia. I wake up at 0700 and lie in bed thinking about last night's experience until about 0830-0900 after that I enjoy a few more hours of (somewhat broken) sleep up until 1630.
This experience, while not being the most pleasant has definitely re-defined 25I NBOH as a mainly visual psychedelic with little mental element to a potent psychedelic with mindfuck abilities that rival everything else I've tried. It's also brought me to the conclusion that difficult trips should not just be aborted because they are difficult, but the person tripping should isolate themselves and let them work things out on their own. If this fails to work after an hour or they show violent/self harming tendencies then benzos should be administered/help summoned as needed. Completing a hard task can be many times more rewarding than abandoning it, even if completing it causes marked distress. As for whether I felt the experience was good or bad; I'd rate it as a good experience, although very unnerving and mildly traumatic; I'd only rate a trip as bad if nothing of value was gained from it and I've a feeling that if I'd noped out of it with benzos I'd be here complaining about a 'bad trip' rather than a gloomy but rewarding experience.
