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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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^sucks. i don't know about places to get help. hopefully someone else will chime in.


four weeks today. it doesn't feel any easier. keep on thinking about how good a drink would feel after so long. and questioning whether i could establish and maintain control. i'm quite sure i can't. right now the golden ticket to crushing craving is reminding myself that my past drinking has likely caused brain damage and that not drinking at all will mitigate that damage much more than still drinking occasionally.
 
im made it afew days without getting drunk, but it seems i cant talk myself out of it for that long, i just hope this doesnt turn into a bender
 
well heres an update, im a fuckn loser with no self control i woke up today drak a 1/5th and of course i have a half not even cracked, this is why i hate alchohol, unless i somehow grow a spine im going to keep on drinking til i get picked up again, that 1/5th did taste pretty good though
 
I was basically drunk the whole last week, not feeling very impressed with myself. I really need to get this shit under control, some how or another...
 
Another week, another attempt. Night sweats and Insomnia are pissing me off at the moment. I have so much work to get done in the next 30 days and I feel like if I don't start sleeping better in the next week then my work will suffer. But i guess it won't suffer as much as if I am still drinking. Managed to get an initial assessment for some CBT on the NHS. It helped me out a lot a few years back when depressed, so feel like it could help me with my drinking. My healthy eating has been a way of keeping busy when away from the library and at home. Prepping all my meals from scratch takes me a while. I'm pretty much a novice after all :) Anyways back to work on this dissertation!
 
from top-shelf to bottom, when your a alcoholic you dont care most of the time. I think the only low ihavent sunk to is rubbing alcohol or mouthwash
 
Lol my dr prescribed me fucking librium

WTf man

I blacked out and tried cutting spam for 20 mins and charged my dad's card to buy online drugs

I need some fucking Valium


I've drank mouth wash before

My farts smelt minty fresh

Oh it's confirmed my hep c is real

Thx doc
 
The only reason I drank was because I couldn't get my hands on any better substances at the time. Honestly I've grown to loathe getting drunk, yet I still like a couple glasses of wine which is a very slippery slope as the whole bottle could end up getting drunk which would lead to acting foolishly. So if for some reason I can't abstain completely I just try to keep it below 4 drinks in a day, and not drink more than once a week. This method only works if I synergize the drinks with a susbstance (not another depressant). Otherwise I really hate alcohol now.

Yet I can't say I've stayed sober. Hopefully I can get my hands on some things to keep me away from the booze until I can go completely drug and drink free.

The desire is still there to use a few substances. Alcohol is the worst substance I could choose to use nowadays. At least I moderate other chemicals better. If one has tendencies towards drinking too much, they probably have tendencies to use other things too much as well.

Moderation in all things, if one can't give them up completely just yet...
 
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fuck mouth wash, the grocery store is right there. theres no excuse to drink listarene
 
Drinking while sick is a nice reminder that you're addicted to alcohol.
Makes me feel even worse but what's a meal without a beer or three?
Had planned to wander the streets drinking liquor today but cancelled that after puking my guts out again the other morning, glad I can't handle liquor these days despite my repeated efforts

Life is too short to keep shortening it each day...
 
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Guys, I was doing sooooooooo well. Hadn't drank for 9 days, was eating so much better (pretty much cut out processed foods, eating mainly vegetable based meals with stuff like quinoa etc.) and I felt great. Lots of energy, though sleep was still tough to accomplish i got hold of some Etizolam for when I really need it. However, yesterday I was meant to meet up with my ex, who is my first love from a long winded and complicated involvement. An hour before we were due to meet she tells me she was with her new BF who she is madly in love with and would love for me to meet. Now I am happy with us being friends, but I considered her announcement of this addition in such little time as a lack of respect towards me, as I was meeting her under the guise it was to be just the two of us so I cancelled on her. I haven't said this on bluelight yet, but last month I had a Health scare in regards to Testicular Cancer. (Had to go for an ultrasound, blood work done etc) But thankfully turns out it was benign and she knows about this. It has been a stress for me recently on top of having to dedicate myself to the library for my dissertation (pretty much living in there at the moment). So basically i hit the drink last night, and I hit it HARD... Feeling rough as fuck today and kind of craving another drink, but I've got to go and interview people for this research. Eurghhh.
 
x2theC said:
Guys, I was doing sooooooooo well. Hadn't drank for 9 days, was eating so much better (pretty much cut out processed foods, eating mainly vegetable based meals with stuff like quinoa etc.) and I felt great. Lots of energy, though sleep was still tough to accomplish i got hold of some Etizolam for when I really need it. However, yesterday I was meant to meet up with my ex, who is my first love from a long winded and complicated involvement. An hour before we were due to meet she tells me she was with her new BF who she is madly in love with and would love for me to meet. Now I am happy with us being friends, but I considered her announcement of this addition in such little time as a lack of respect towards me, as I was meeting her under the guise it was to be just the two of us so I cancelled on her. I haven't said this on bluelight yet, but last month I had a Health scare in regards to Testicular Cancer. (Had to go for an ultrasound, blood work done etc) But thankfully turns out it was benign and she knows about this. It has been a stress for me recently on top of having to dedicate myself to the library for my dissertation (pretty much living in there at the moment). So basically i hit the drink last night, and I hit it HARD... Feeling rough as fuck today and kind of craving another drink, but I've got to go and interview people for this research. Eurghhh.
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First off, glad to hear the cancer was ok.

You slipped. We all slip. 9 days is great and you need to feel good about yourself. Pick yourself up, don't drink today, and move on. Treat it as a learning experience.

Think about what caused this relapse. To me it sounds like you still have feelings for your ex. It seems like to me in the future cutting off contract with her is the right choice here. But that decision is yours to make
 
weekend addiction said:
I was doing well. Subbing out kratom for booze. Now I"m out of kratom till tonight or tommorow. ANd I'm drinking again. I dropped a shit ton of shake weed all over the floor last night cause i was drunk. I hate drinking. I hate being an alcoholic. Tommorow I quit again.
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Subbing out never worked for me. I tried subbing alcohol with weed and I ended up doing both constantly.
 
GenericName12 said:
First off, glad to hear the cancer was ok.

You slipped. We all slip. 9 days is great and you need to feel good about yourself. Pick yourself up, don't drink today, and move on. Treat it as a learning experience.

Think about what caused this relapse. To me it sounds like you still have feelings for your ex. It seems like to me in the future cutting off contract with her is the right choice here. But that decision is yours to make
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Thanks GenericName12.

I've come to the conclusion that it is probably best to cut ties with her for good. Shouldn't be too hard as she now lives on the other side of the country rather than just down the same street as me (still need to force myself to delete her from social media, but the sad thing is I know her phone number off by heart so the temptation to get back in tough will be there i guess).

But to be brutally honest with myself, she hasn't even been what i'd consider a great for me when going out with her or even as "friends". Example being her using me for a place to crash etc when she is in town then as soon as she leaves not speaking to me again until it suited her. My family and friends all think she is a dick with the way she is to me at times, but as I stated, first love kinda territory so sometimes you let this stuff continue cos of these crazy underlying feelings that will probably linger for a lifetime.

Didn't drink yesterday and I'm not planning to drink at all today either. Here it goes again!
 
not drinking has made me less social, but last night i went to some party and ended up seeing friends i hadn't in years. one since high school. it's by far the most intense party atmosphere i've been in since i quit. it was tempting when people were doing shots and the room smelled like beer. i did fine.

i had fun, i remember everything, and i'm not hungover. i had attributed all the social energy that happens at parties to alcohol. last night i felt some sort of buzz just from being in the atmosphere. not at atmosphere of drinking, but more the party atmosphere of "we are here to do nothing but be around each other and have fun."

another thing i hadn't noticed at parties before, a lot of people are not drinking.
 
Been drinking since I was 12 now 28, been to treatment numerous times along with hospitalizations for alcohol withdrawal.I really hate drinking but it it's my safe zone .I cannot drink responsibly yet.but am working on it.I believe it is possible.a lot of my family members have.I'm only drinking 5 to 10 drinks a day compared to 10 to 25 just 4 months ago.alcoholism is the shits but I believe it can be tamed with the right support system and motivation.our maybe I am just fooling myself?
 
GenericName12 said:
Subbing out never worked for me. I tried subbing alcohol with weed and I ended up doing both constantly.
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I can attest to that. Wish I could replace alcohol with cannabis but it always becomes an addition instead.

I have 4 weeks to somehow get sober. Had the opportunity of a lifetime this last week when I've been very sick, managed 3 days without drinking before giving in again despite my illness.
Next month I have a very important business trip (I never have those) to the big city, I HAVE to quit drinking ASAP, but a decade of addiction and no resources stand in my way.
AA and my HMO are non-options ... Wish I knew of some other way to get myself straight but I can't imagine myself not tanking this opportunity.
 
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