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Alcoholism Discussion Thread Version 6.0

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I think that not being aware of what you are doing or how you got somewhere is a scary prospect, especially if you are out in public. Granted all the example you gave are definitely scary situations. However, remember this thread is about alcoholism.
 
ikeibeabuchi said:
o man, i always worry about running out even when I still have some. just wondering if anyone finds that being a pothead makes it too easy to also be a drunk. With pot i don't have to worry about feeling hungover since it clears up my head and stomach, however I feel that this is more detrimental than beneficial.
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I agree with what you wrote how if you smoke herb or use cannabis how it's easy to be a drunk or abuse alcohol and other drugs.

It's all too easy to drink way too much while stoned, and a lot of people go back and forth between abusing alcohol (or other drugs), and cannabis. Also if you claim to be "sober" or "clean" yet still use cannabis you're just kidding yourself, and you run the risk of relapsing on your drug(s) of choice.
 
I got off sub and went to drinking a few months later..it's getting out of hand quickly. Watching the clock till 5p, falling asleep early, drinking a third of a liter a night.
This is day two without vodka. I don't really have withdrawal...but the cravings can be intense.
 
Ya I got off subs 6 months and started drinking really hard now but was drinking on subs to

The dr says he doesn't want me to have a sieZure

Okay give me some diazPam

Better on my body instead of hammering it with a 5th a day
 
oh f#@)&%, here we go again
up and up, down and down, a calm here and there and then YYAAAAAAAikes
back on the ol roller coaster

hope me strong enough
sorry folks, a little side tracked and self motivated , F, had to may we get through
 
hydroazuanacaine said:
that's rough polymath. you have large incentive to quit drinking. i'm sure drinking soap from public restrooms is not your low, but is more than enough reason. congrats on over 2 weeks.
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17 days and I'm still sober (my longest sober period for at least 4 years). I already feel good enough that I'm trying to exercise, doing push-ups and things like that. I also went bowling with the support group yesterday. The addiction therapist seems to be a nice person and is very helpful.

Next month I will know whether I get the required funding for my Ph.D. project, which will begin in September. I absolutely have to stay sober if I want to be able to work as a researcher (even though hiding ones addiction problem is easier in an academic environment that in many other workplaces).
 
hydroazuanacaine said:
are we allowed to vent about triggers in this thread? man, fucking media gets at me. not media that shows alcohol use as pleasant -- left that illusion behind long ago -- but film and photography that glamorizes destructive yet carefree drinking. i really like this stupid cartoon Archer, and even though it's the opposite of reality, their upper-class alcoholism is so fucking attractive. i know eventually it's no longer cool to not give a fuck about life. it's still very, very tempting. also, good beer. man, i was scouting event locations for my job. nonprofit means fundraising. which means alcohol. it's a bitch going to nice breweries, nice bars, and this week i actually went to some upper end liquor/wine store that holds sommelier hosted tastings in a private room. while i was waiting for the sommelier/owner, there wasn't anything to do but browse their amazing selection of stouts. rolling the bottles over in my hand and reading about what barrels were chosen for aging. but i put them back on the shelf after.
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Ha yes Archer is a great show but its hard to watch without a drink in your hand. Two and a Half Men is like that too. I want to be Charlie Sheen....

Good luck junegreenjeans. Just be careful he doesn't have a seizure. It would be safer for him to have a couple glasses of wine each night for the next couple weeks trust me on that. My buddy had a seizure 3 weeks clean. It was from Xanax but alcohol withdrawal is similarly dangerous.
 
Ha yes Archer is a great show but its hard to watch without a drink in your hand. Two and a Half Men is like that too. I want to be Charlie Sheen....
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"Two and a Half Men" is simply hard to watch. ;)

ebola
 
Very close friend of mine relapsed on booze monday night, killed a motorcyclist and as a result has been charged with second degree murder, vehicular manslaughter/gross negligence, and felony hit and run.

One night of drinking/relapsing, 3 strikes in one shot, his life is over and someone is dead.

Let this serve as a reminder for how lucky and fortunate all of us are that we haven't killed anyone, as well as a reminder as to what can happen to any of us if we start drinking.
 
hydroazuanacaine said:
Silver, how is spring gonna help you quit drinking? holy smokes, i am wondering how the fuck i am going to get through spring. my porch was built for beer. but i'll be good.
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Hah, good question .. probably just a hollow promise I've made to myself the last 6 years or so. Sunshine, fresh air; addiction is still there.

I'm finally drug-free again (non-recreational meds aside). Had the most serious psychiatric crisis of my life last week, almost turned myself in, managed one day clean & sober.
Trying to get my head straight. I've been lying to myself for years, thinking I could do one without the other.
With no resources/support (aside from this forum) I'm essentially hopeless, but if I want to live to see 30 I need to make a serious effort to recover my life after a decade of addiction.

It occurs to me now how the Cassandra complex applies to my alcoholism. I forsee drinking myself into an early grave but feel powerless to prevent it.

Re-reading the addiction guide sticky tonite was enlightening. Alcohol is not my DOC but is my "drug of last resort." I haven't enjoyed it for many years, but the fear of sobriety overrides my aversion to alcohol intoxication, day after day, year after year.
I understand it more as time goes on, but never grow closer to overcoming it
 
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junegreenjeans said:
oh f#@)&%, here we go again
up and up, down and down, a calm here and there and then YYAAAAAAAikes
back on the ol roller coaster

hope me strong enough
sorry folks, a little side tracked and self motivated , F, had to may we get through
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Addiction is certainly a roller coaster, but he showed the first signs of wanting to recover.

Keep at it. Stay strong.
 
well i some how escaped jail like 3 times , my friend got picked up and I have the shakes so bad right now, i realy need to quit
 
doing better today, i stayed sober for the most part. hopefully i can keep that up, i just need to avoid hanging out with people that drink all day
 
glitter_kiss said:
sometimes i realy hate alcohol
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Me too! I've just woken up, it's 5:25 am here. I have a black eye and gash on my eyebrow and flashbacks of frantically scrubbing the carpets to remove blood (I live in a rented property with my dad). I remember us having a conversation about my drinking again. I stayed dry for almost a week whilst he was away on vacation yet I have been on a bender since sunday. I should have been writing an essay with a clear head yesterday, now instead I am writing it frantically with a major hangover, exacerbated by this head injury. I am really fed up with how I have allowed myself to get this way. In a way I am, sadly, afraid to think of life without alcohol. Something in my head keeps saying that I can drink socially, but I REALLY CAN'T. Eurghhhhhhh. Because of this black eye I'm not even going to be able to visit my mum who is my rock when it comes to my drinking as she will flip. I HATE ALCOHOL!
 
I think I may be an alcoholic... I've been drinking daily for about a year and a half, not much, maybe a drink every hour I'm awake, if I'm partying then 2-3 drinks an hour but I don't go out and party often, usually I just sit and drink alone at night, take clonazepam, smoke pot and take my daily dose of bupe for my heroin addiction. I know drinking alone is a sign of alcoholism, same with addiction to other drugs plus my dad is also an alcoholic so I get that my odds of also being an alcoholic are pretty damn high. I started drinking after a break up, I was depressed and slowly started using crack, alcohol became a nice little treat to use while on cocaine then soon I was just drinking without crack, using alcohol to potentate my clonazepam and bupe. I guess I know I drink more then normal but I justify it because I don't usually "get drunk", I just drink slowly all day and don't get that much of a buzz. I'm pretty sure I can quit without getting withdrawals but that is a concern I have now, I don't want to have a seizure or anything but I did quit a 1mg of clonazepam a day habit without any problems so I think I'm safe quitting at like 10-12 drinks a day. Part of me doesn't really want to stop drinking, hell, I'm just starting to realize I may have a problem, my real problem is drugs but I'm scared, I'd rather honestly die today then become my dad tomorrow. I think I'm ready to maybe soon try going a day or 2 without having a drink, I'm hesitant though because I also plan on trying to stop shooting bupe soon and as I said, I use alcohol mainly to potentate other drugs and also to deal with my social anxiety, that's the reason I have a prescription for clonazepam. It's frustrating, I didn't even start drinking on a daily occasion until my mid 20's, I thought I didn't even like alcohol but now I wake up with a cold beer and go to sleep with one, apparently I do like drinking now.
 
yeah, being on benzos makes alcohol a whole other drug. without the pills, the drink has much less appeal. IME.
 
Thought I could handle 1 day sober. Instead I broke a 3-month promise to myself and hit up a liquor store ( thankfully the State still runs those in Oregon).
When I drink beer daily it's maintenance alcoholism .. when I drink liquor its to destroy myself.
Killed that bottle faster than I could imagine. My organs are angry. My desire for proper drugs is insatiated. I still can't sleep. Bought another today.

I have an appointment with a generic Doctor in 2 weeks. My HMO has done nothing but disappoint but I can only pray I have the strength in those five minutes to admit my problems and somehow gain some relief.

AA is NOT an option as they all meet in Churches which I could never enter.
What other resources exist besides AA an inpatient/residential Tx?
I've never sought help in 11 years of drinking and don't know where to start.
My HMO is consistently worthless but I can't afford to pay for things on my own.
 
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