I need someone's opinion on this.
I was physically and emotionally abused as a kid, by both my parents and my friends and I have almost always had problems(by problems I mean anxiety and insecurity) socially in my life. Fear of being alone, of losing friends etc.
I can clearly recall times I would go alone to school, and I would arrive like 10 minutes before the doors would open. There was this railing right in front on the building and my classroom, and every time I would arrive and there were people there I would be really anxious and afraid of rejection and them laughing of me. So sometimes I would stop 5-6 meters away, standing, crossing my hands in front of me, bend my head down and basically wait till they would call on me, or say something like "hey Mathew what u doin?". Though this was 6 years ago.
Often when I would bring up problems I had in school regarding my anything really, anxiety, fights etc, my parents would very often twist my feelings around and say that my feelings are ridiculous and whatever, now the biggest problem is that everytime I would act with some sort of individualism, and deny something they would ask of me, they would bring up those emotional issues I had told them and twist them even more in their own favor so I would do what they would ask of me. After years of doing that to me, I never tell them about any of my emotional problems to them anymore, I stick to forums now or myself.
Worth mentioning, before both of these incidents all the way back to age 6 and 7, I would very often get beaten by my parents, they weren't dipsomaniacs, but since I was the first child I guess they couldn't deal with me other ways. Since we moved multiple times from age 3-6, my mom would experience periods of depression she told me ones, and would be on meds(light ones).
Ones I brought up the subject of beating to my father, he would tell me that my mother would slam me on the wall to make me stop crying, I dont know how old I was then, but light enough to be lifted my mother, so probably 3-4 years I guess.
My father would also use a lot of "boxing" to teach me stuff when my brother and I would fight.
Also I would have this OCD so to speak where I had to ask new people if we were friends so I could feel safe in the enviroment I guess.
I am basically asking you guys if LSD can help me with my childhood trauma, problems, anxiety.
thank you.
I was physically and emotionally abused as a kid, by both my parents and my friends and I have almost always had problems(by problems I mean anxiety and insecurity) socially in my life. Fear of being alone, of losing friends etc.
I can clearly recall times I would go alone to school, and I would arrive like 10 minutes before the doors would open. There was this railing right in front on the building and my classroom, and every time I would arrive and there were people there I would be really anxious and afraid of rejection and them laughing of me. So sometimes I would stop 5-6 meters away, standing, crossing my hands in front of me, bend my head down and basically wait till they would call on me, or say something like "hey Mathew what u doin?". Though this was 6 years ago.
Often when I would bring up problems I had in school regarding my anything really, anxiety, fights etc, my parents would very often twist my feelings around and say that my feelings are ridiculous and whatever, now the biggest problem is that everytime I would act with some sort of individualism, and deny something they would ask of me, they would bring up those emotional issues I had told them and twist them even more in their own favor so I would do what they would ask of me. After years of doing that to me, I never tell them about any of my emotional problems to them anymore, I stick to forums now or myself.
Worth mentioning, before both of these incidents all the way back to age 6 and 7, I would very often get beaten by my parents, they weren't dipsomaniacs, but since I was the first child I guess they couldn't deal with me other ways. Since we moved multiple times from age 3-6, my mom would experience periods of depression she told me ones, and would be on meds(light ones).
Ones I brought up the subject of beating to my father, he would tell me that my mother would slam me on the wall to make me stop crying, I dont know how old I was then, but light enough to be lifted my mother, so probably 3-4 years I guess.
My father would also use a lot of "boxing" to teach me stuff when my brother and I would fight.
Also I would have this OCD so to speak where I had to ask new people if we were friends so I could feel safe in the enviroment I guess.
I am basically asking you guys if LSD can help me with my childhood trauma, problems, anxiety.
thank you.
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