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Benzos Diazepam Withdrawal

LOL I was thinking about picking up the pace a little bit on my taper too, how crazy. I worked out the math yesterday and if I go at a 10 day pace I won't be done until February 3rd so I was thinking about doing 10/7/7/10 or something something instead.
 
Crampz said:
^^ hows it going? are you finding it okay?
Click to expand...

Not particularly. My head was POUNDING last night before I took my night dose. Pretty sure my blood pressure has been through the roof. I hope I feel better by Wednesday because that's my next cut time. I can't slow it down any more than I have.

How about yourself?
 
oh NO sorry to hear, when did you last make a cut and how much did you reduce by/how much are you on? If you have any spare I'd definately consider going a bit slower but I do know how fucking frustrating it is just wanting to be off of them...

To be honest I am going to hold it for a while, I was driing the other day and had some very bizarre feelings (kind of like I wasn't in reality etc), I had those before when I tried to get off them, and it included stuff like me having an urge to just smash up my room (I actually read that such urges arent uncommon if you reduce too fast and I just kind of gave up trying to get off them) so I am on 8.75mg and going to keep it like that for a while.
 
That doesn't sound pleasant at all.

I'm on 8.75mg a day myself. I made a 1.25mg cut on 11/25 to my morning dose so its 3.75mg in the morning, 5mg in the evening.

I was so high strung yesterday that I got stuck in a thought loop... It drove me up the wall. I have been doing good with not checking my heart rate though. Even when I actually feel it thumping against my chest :\

I think I'm going to hold my dose too. I was scheduled to cut another 1.25mg on Thursday but I might hold it for an extra week. I still have another 120 5mg pills I can fill at the pharmacy on top of having a good 60 of my current bottle left so holding is certainly possible.

I'm considering cranking up the dose of my Delsym for a few days as an experiment...
 
reading these posts,Im so glad im off. i do suffer from anxiety but benzos DO NOT help. they may seem like it but they dont and you always need more, it sucks dont even think of playing with them if you already best them. Thank you God. I cant put into words the relief, anxiety still sucks but im subject to no one or anything. i ysed to let people runall over me out of fear they wouldnt like me(anxiety) and im a very strong man but while fighting anxiety i was scared of my own shadow. i rocess things differnt too while not on benzos.
 
Really, you should hold. I remember being in the exact same situation you are describing kinda, constantly checking my heart rate etc, at I saw your thread over in healthy living and I too got into the situation where I was terrified of exercise (but this wasnt strictly due to withdrawawing from benzos, thats one of the reasons I was prescribed them in the first place).

I have just woken up after a few hours sleep, it is going to be a long long day, I am exhausted :(.
 
Yeah, the heart rate is one of the reasons why I was prescribed benzos in the first place so its a huge worry of mine...

My heart doesn't get anywhere near as stupid as it used to but whenever it elevates AT ALL its highly uncomfortable.

I think I'm going to hold. My roommate is practically begging me to hold. He kind of pissed me off today though because he was like "we need to have a talk about this. I don't think you're going to be able to be medication free and that's something that you need to look at with a doctor."

I mean... I've already been in hell and I'm in a volatile state and instead of being supportive, he tells me he doesn't think I'll ever be able to live without meds. If I didn't feel so crappy I would have had an argument with him.

At least you got some sleep. I don't feel tired in the least so I'm not expecting any tonight. Hang in there!
 
I can empathise 100%! especially because palpitations often make it feel like it is beating much faster than it really is, its terrifying.

and yeah, fuck your housemate, thats the last kind of thing you need to hear. He likely just doesn't understand, most people (luckily for them) will never be able to conceive of what it is like so it is best just to ignore their ill informed opinions. It is weird with 'mental health issues', I think because it is kinda stigmatised and ignored people know nothing about it so to feel like they are having some useful input they say stuff like 'take those pills that the lovely doctor gave you'.

About the heartbeat thing though, it will get better, I think maybe doing just mild exercising and stuff can be really helpful (not too strenuous) as over time it is kind of like 'exposure therapy' or something and it begins to sink in that you are young, healthy and there is nothing 'bad' going to happen.
 
Yeah what always set off my panic attacks was an abrupt increase in my heart rate... It never failed that I would obsess over it until I ended up in a full blown panic. I actually had a dent on both wrists from pressing my fingers in to check my pulse... I'm so glad I don't do that anymore.

He means well. He's seen me go through the whole gamut... He supported me when I was drinking a handle of Everclear every other day, he put up with my aggressiveness (I have a feeling that my aggression comes from benzos because I didn't ever have aggression until I started on Klonopin and I'm worse with Valium and I was drinking for 4 years before I ever touched a benzo and was always a happy drunk), he put up with my bipolar episodes (another thing I haven't experienced any part of since I started my taper), and he's been supporting me through fighting disability. I've lived with him for a year sleeping on his couch now and he put me down as his live in aid so we can move to a two bedroom in January.

I agree with you on the heartbeat. I can only deal with so much at a time though. I haven't left the complex since I started the taper. :\
 
lol I shouldn't laugh and this is embarassing to admit, but I actually called an ambulance not once, but twice, because I was convinced I was having a heart attack, eventually they pretty much just said to me 'it is all in your mind'.

He sounds like a good friend to be fair, I don't think I can imagine anyone who would do that for me, but I don't really have any friends so heh. I think drinking affected my mind state more than benzos, when I was drinking about a litre of vodka a day I was a fucking mess, I thought that my landlord had put cameras in my bedroom to 'spy' on me and all sorts, really really paranoid, was horrible! How are you finding it not drinking? I'm finding it quite tough, even though I hate the stuff (it is an absolute demon of mine).

How are you sleeping generally? I woke up twice last night, slept a total of about 3 hours and that was with mirtazapine and diphenhydramine :(.
 
I've called the ambulance a few times too. And not always while on drugs! lol

David has pretty much replaced all of my "friends" in my life. To think that we ended up living together just by chance because I posted somewhere that I was going to be homeless again and he saw it. Crazy how that worked out.

As far as the alcohol and the nicotine withdrawal go, I am not having either of them, which is pretty amazing since they were my most consistent drugs of choice. I'm wondering how much of that is my will and how much of that is the cough syrup because I've cut my cough syrup down to 60mg a day total and that's pretty much nothing. Its very well possible that its still enough to be effective for nicotine (its highly potent for nicotine receptors) but the alcohol I'm not so sure. Then again, I never really have a problem once I'm past the first week of alcohol until I decide to go to the liquor store or the bar again and then fall right back off the cliff.

My sleep overall has been pretty decent. These past couple nights I've had trouble getting tired but I've been mostly sleeping 6-8 hours every night which has been amazing.

I really wish I could tell how much the Delsym addition is adding in relation to withdrawal symptom benefits. I know that I don't want to test going without it, it just seems kind of crazy that a children's dose every 12 hours is working as well as it appears to be. It definitely was the spark that kicked the cigarettes and alcohol initially though because I was on it for a week and I noticed after 4 days that nicotine wasn't working well and by the 7th day, I had no cravings for alcohol and I gave up trying to smoke because I couldn't get ANY effect from the nicotine.

I actually looked at my withdrawal log and I noticed something extremely peculiar - my handwriting is much nicer now than when I started. As a matter of fact, my penmanship is actually better than it ever was. I have always been terrible at handwriting. Something is definitely healing, I'm just not sure what. Too many things going on at once!

I haven't even touched my trazodone, the only sleeping pill that works for me, a single a time since starting my taper.

The headaches suck though. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that my blood pressure is high.

In my case, the mental effects, the headaches, the blurry vision, and the occasional rapid spike in heart rate (perceived or literal, like I said I'm not checking anymore because it wouldn't do me any good to know) are the worst of it... The mental effects are a bitch though. Oh and I've been backed up hardcore. :\
 
Thats good you are doing well with the other two, I am kind of the same with alcohol, if I start drinking I just end up drunk for about a week then just wake up one day like 'what the fuck just happened?'

To be fair I would say my main things are probably just the shaking (which is just annoying, more than anything) the lack of sleep (which is fucking killing me) and the 'noisey head' - I don't know how else to describe it, just very on edge and uptight about things, more so than usual anyway and the odd bit of tension in my muscles. In fairness, it is going much better than when I tried to quit before, which was just a fucking disaster so I'm hoping it works this time around. I'm just very aware that the smallest cuts I can make are 1.25mg (and thats just roughly) so its going to be a bigger percentage each time now - eek!
 
Well if it makes you feel any better, I spoke too soon about the sleep. It is 5:15AM and I am not remotely tired. :p I have to be up at 10:30 too. :|

On the other token, I just typed up a nice detailed explanation of how psychedelics work that goes far beyond my normal comprehension of pharmacology and I'm pretty sure that I got most of it right to boot. I hope I'm not going manic!!! If I am, then that throws this whole process into dangerous territory. 8(
 
oh dear! lets hope not eh! Though I have to say your comments about people who work in call centres just fucking cracked me up... I worked in a call centre once... note the use of the word once... I didn't go back the next day. I'm guessing its a bit late to try the trazodone now but if you arent feeling tired yet you will be by tonight for sure... youll get some sleep then.

I got 9 hours the other day, granted though it was after about 36 hours with none, but it felt fucking good to sleep that long! :D
 
I worked in call centers from 2004 until 2011 and then I had 3 weeks of training before getting terminated for oversleeping when I attempted to go back to work part time working from home earlier this year :\

I'm glad I could provide some comic relief :p

With the trazodone... I would rather avoid it. When trazodone DOESN'T put me out, I end up with a fucked up high from the mCPP and that's just a nasty feeling...

Hopefully your sleep starts improving. I've heard low dose melatonin does wonders.
 
yeah in fairness trazodone is a nasty drug precisely because of the mCPP if taken regularly at least but I assume it would be the same for short term too. We actually don't have melatonin available in this country for some reason but I might have to start having it shipped from the US or something, lack of sleep sends me nuts, it feels like you are being fucking tortured (well, they do actually use sleep deprivation as a method of torture so hmm).

Sorry about your job but I'm sure you can find something a bit less masochistic, I don't know how people put up being yelled at all day, either by 'customers' or people you are trying to sell stuff too or a 'team leader'.

One thing i have found to work wonders for the shaking in my fingers is green tea ( the decaf version of course) I have no idea why or how it works, but it does.
 
MagickalKat777 said:
Yeah, the heart rate is one of the reasons why I was prescribed benzos in the first place so its a huge worry of mine...

My heart doesn't get anywhere near as stupid as it used to but whenever it elevates AT ALL its highly uncomfortable.

I think I'm going to hold. My roommate is practically begging me to hold. He kind of pissed me off today though because he was like "we need to have a talk about this. I don't think you're going to be able to be medication free and that's something that you need to look at with a doctor."

I mean... I've already been in hell and I'm in a volatile state and instead of being supportive, he tells me he doesn't think I'll ever be able to live without meds. If I didn't feel so crappy I would have had an argument with him.

At least you got some sleep. I don't feel tired in the least so I'm not expecting any tonight. Hang in there!
Click to expand...

Sounds like your room mate is just worried about you. It is a bit negative of him to say he thinks that you'll never be off meds but i interpret from what you say that he is saying this through care n worry for you not through malice. I can not tell you what to do but can advise you n my advice would be not to argue with him when you're not in your right mind. What I mean by that is what are not in our right minds when going through withdrawals: we are hurting, volitile, stressed etc etc n so we may be thinking DIFFERENTLY to how we would normally think. You may be taking what your room mate said, too close to heart n you don't want to lose a friendship of someone who is only worried n trying to help you. Believe me I have done this n regretted it. Remember too, that if he has never struggled with addiction he may not know what is right to say to you - he may be thinking he is doing right by saying this or may have sought advice from others on what best to say. Sorry I am only going by what you have written in your post so if I have missed something I apologise.

Re: heartbeat if you are having palpitations due to withdrawals or something else before benzos I would seek a doctors approval before exercising n if given yes please, if you are able to afford it, hire a personal trainer. It's very important to be careful with your heart and exercise speeds up the heart. I would suggest purchasing a heart rate monitor so that you know you are in your zone.
To calculate your max heart rate it's 220 - age. You then look to exercise a % of that say 60% you calculate 220 - age / 0.60. Then with your rate rate monitor check to make sure you're in the zone.

Please take care of yourself ok. We're all here to support you through this.

Evey x

EDIT: GRRRR ITS DONE IT AGAIN!!! I opted for E-mail notifications n instead of sending me updated versions of the thread it sends me old ones. I reply to old ones n now look a fucking tit. Bad enough being partially sighted n having to deal with Apple's crappy ios7. Sort it out bluelight pleeeeeease - it's annoying.
 
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So just out of interest, how badly would it fuck up my taper if I had a few beers tonight?
 
I've heard that it can throw you into withdrawal the next day and I've heard of people having no issues doing it. I wouldn't recommend risking it to be honest. It will most certainly aggravate your withdrawal symptoms and you may well choose to just go on a bender because you'll be chasing the withdrawal relief for both substances with alcohol. Its a nasty cycle. I fell off my taper last time because I started drinking while I was doing it and finally decided that a 40mg taper was enough and went back to drinking and drugging for another 2 years. And now we're here.

@Eveleivibe - Thanks for the post. The doctor has never found anything wrong with my heart. As a matter of fact when I went to the ER for benzo withdrawal this last time and it looked like I was having a heart attack, they told me that my nervous system was fried but my heart has 0 abnormalities and is in fantastic shape. That said, I'm really nervous to exercise when I'm in withdrawal. I have managed before without alcohol and cigarettes - actually went on quite the power walk (like 2 hours I was out there) - but my blood sugar crashed towards the end and I felt miserable by the time I finally got in the door even though I had gone out to eat while I was out. I think exercise will be the hardest (and most important) part of my withdrawal.
 
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