Opioids Abusing the script - Where to now?

[merajjj840]

Hello. To start off, its 5:34am where I am. If I am redundant, nonsensical, the time of me writing this may allude as to why. First, a little background, but I will try not to rant too much..

I have been using alcohol/drugs since I was 12. I am 22 now. Alcoholic 13-14.5yr. Got hooked to cocaine for a few months prior to 15yr. Conned my parents into buying me 222's on a trip to Canada (legal codeine) and since then (CWE) I realized that amphet/coke/alcohol/weed/all that shit, I didn't care about that anymore. Opiates had me. Or I had opiates, either or.

I have been addicted to pills since I was 15. Tried H when I was 15. With no job, and not in the dealing game (yet), I wasn't able to do H often. Only when friends bought it/shared it. I became *truly* addicted to heroin at age 17. Fortunately never picked up the needle :D

Shockingly, I have been pretty 'successful' in my life. Graduated HS, graduated with a BA in Psy, currently enrolled in a Masters program in... drum roll... Counseling lol. Former* drug addicts can make the best counselors though, right? In theory anyways. My 'success' in life is how I rationalize my pill/heroin addiction. *Not* trying to gloat.


The point of this post is I am at a fucking loss with what to do now. I have legit pain. Granted, it is only lateral epicondilitis (idc if spelled wrong, tennis elbow*) BUT I have had this problem for 3+ years. I also have horrific TMJ (grinding ones jaw) I'm a vegetarian, not because I am opposed to eating meat, but because I can't even fucking chew it. No, I don't drink caffeinated anything.

I have done **everything** the DRs have asked of me in regards to my arm pain prior to asking to get on opiates. I'm not even typing this, I speak and my computer types it for me. Don't text me, I'm not texting you back. I don't even hold the phone, speaker phone all the way. Doing dishes is hell. Brushing my teeth is laborious. Turning a key (ignition, apartment key) is like a punch in the balls. You get the idea, shit for real. I wish I was faking it. 8(

PT, OT, steroid injections, ionic electrophorisis, NSAID(s), NSAID topical, SSRNI, benzocaine/lido, nitrogylcerin etc. Everything. Nothing has helped except opiates.

Cept I abuse the fuck out of them and then I'm left sick, or copping H (cant even get pills anymore) - Financially/physically Idk how much longer this charade can go on.
My script of 90 10mg perc lasts 6-10 days. This time it was 9. That was me *trying* Please don't say "gain self control" I have attempted... many times... Easier said then done when you have pain/have had a habit for years.

**QUESTION**
What the fuck do I do now? Should I go on subs? Once I do this my pain will likely never be taken seriously again. I have used them before (non-scripted) and while they keep WD at bay, they do nothing for my pain. Is MMT the answer..? If I were to binge I could easily (and did, 5 days ago) .6g H (intranasal) & 170mg (oral) Oxy in a day. Would MMT be appropriate..? Dude, I'm just at a loss. I'm asking a message board and the sun isn't even up, clearly I'm at a dead end.

For those with ADD/ADHD, sorry to type so much. Thanks.



I have been going to OutPatient since September. It has helped me to a degree. Been to psychologists/psychiatrists since I was 13. Helped to a degree. Mental state kind of, fucked, but working on it.

Please dont recommend in-patient. That.. that just isn't an option right now.

I live alone in my studio. Nobody to "hold onto them" New to my uni, first yr MA, my new friends would... loose their minds if they knew. Not an option

 

[schrimpdaddy]

I've gone through almost the same exact thing you have, except instead of tennis elbow, I have a bulging disk by my shoulder blades. I would recommend staying on the percs for as long as possible. Every time you go back for a refill/check up tell the doc that you have run out early/the pain was just too intolerable to be taken care of by your intended dose.

Unfortunately for me, I live in Alabama and it's hell trying to get doctors to prescribe anything stronger than hydrocodone 10mg, and even hell getting those prescribed. Like I said I was in the same boatasyou pretty much: abused and used long before my injury, so about a year ago I decided to get on suboxone (I'm 22 now). The suboxone has helped exponentially in combating my habit to agonistic opioids, but like you mentioned it doesn't help at all with the pain; it just makes it easier to deal with.

You should take my advice from the first paragraph and try to get your dosage upped (even though 30mgs of oxy/day is already a pretty high dose unless you are an addict and that's what doctors will think too). I hate to say it, but more than likely you'll always have this pain, and the best way to get relief would be to find a surgeon, or start physical therapy or both lol.

Hope this has helped, good luck in your future as an addict and pain patient; have a great day!

 

[Whosajiggawaaa]

Subs and tramadol together would be a good combo for you, maybe even tramadol alone would do the job in high doses if you're one who metabolises it right.

 

[merajjj840]

You should take my advice from the first paragraph and try to get your dosage upped (even though 30mgs of oxy/day is already a pretty high dose unless you are an addict and that's what doctors will think too). I hate to say it, but more than likely you'll always have this pain, and the best way to get relief would be to find a surgeon, or start physical therapy or both lol.

Hope this has helped, good luck in your future as an addict and pain patient; have a great day! [/QUOTE]


My DR had started me out at Tylenol #4. I told him I had an allergic reaction (hives) and he switched me to oxycodone (seems strange to jump, but, hey, im an addict, I was all for the jump) Started me at 20mg oxy. Got moved to 40mg. I had a feeling he was getting hip to my game, so I 'asked' to be lowered to 30mg. That was roughly 9 or 10 months ago.

I feel like if he upped my dose I would just abuse more, ya know?

I have taken tramadol before, it made me FREAK THE FUCK OUT. I think it was the SSNRI component (used to be on a lot of psych meds)


So the consensus is sub maybe, MMT = definitely not.


Input? Tricomb, I know you have CP. Advice mods? Anyone else? %)

 

[merajjj840]

You should take my advice from the first paragraph and try to get your dosage upped (even though 30mgs of oxy/day is already a pretty high dose unless you are an addict and that's what doctors will think too). I hate to say it, but more than likely you'll always have this pain, and the best way to get relief would be to find a surgeon, or start physical therapy or both lol.

Hope this has helped, good luck in your future as an addict and pain patient; have a great day!

My DR had started me out at Tylenol #4. I told him I had an allergic reaction (hives) and he switched me to oxycodone (seems strange to jump, but, hey, im an addict, I was all for the jump) Started me at 20mg oxy. Got moved to 40mg. I had a feeling he was getting hip to my game, so I 'asked' to be lowered to 30mg. That was roughly 9 or 10 months ago.

I feel like if he upped my dose I would just abuse more, ya know?

I have taken tramadol before, it made me FREAK THE FUCK OUT. I think it was the SSNRI component (used to be on a lot of psych meds)


So the consensus is sub maybe, MMT = definitely not.


Input? Tricomb, I know you have CP. Advice mods? Anyone else? %)[/QUOTE]



Ps: PT/OT did help to a degree. Insurance turns me down now. They say "it isn't benefiting you enough." & there is no surgery for my condition. I *wish* I had carpal tunnel.

Also have tried Gapapentin/Lyrica. Woah. Them bitches fuxed me up, and not in a good way.

 

[littlepenguin]

& there is no surgery for my condition. I *wish* I had carpal tunnel.

hmmm...are ya sure??
because both my father and I had surgery for the pesky "tennis elbow" aka lateral epicondylitis.

have you had an EMG yet? (electromyography) - it is a tool used to look inside the elbow to see if the cause of the pain is actually a compressed nerve which exhibits the same/similar symptoms to those of tennis elbow.

if a doctor was the one who told you there's no surgery for what you've got, find another doctor. Remember - every doctor doesn't know everything. Doctors are practicing medicine their entire career. If one's OPINION/DIAGNOSIS doesn't seem right or if you want another, as I said - go find another doctor with a different opinion/diagnosis. There ARE plenty of orthopaedic surgeons/doctors who can and will preform surgery on your elbow.

also, even if insurance discontinued support for your physical therapy (sounds incredibly odd and unlikely...but I digress...) I'm quite sure you could continue doing some or most of the exercises on your own even if your 'trainer' is not there with you. As odd as it sounds, you should be taking (could give it a try, at least) Rx Ibuprofen 600mg every 6 hours or so for your pain. I just had a massive emergency stomach surgery and after 3 days of pure IV morphine, I was started on the above Ibuprofen regime and they said that it was the best thing for pain. In addition to 1 oxycodone every 5 hours as needed, which honestly I took only for the "feel good" quality of it, the Ibuprofen is best for reduction of inflammation and moderate pain.

Wishing you the best of luck in your search for answers.

 

[RedRum OG]

I'd say get on methadone. Suboxone does absolutely nothing for pain. Methadone clinics prevent you from abusing or doing more than one days dose at a time too.

Methadone is fantastic for pain, however get thm to let you split dose if possible, I find that works best, but whatever works for you

 

[merajjj840]

I'd say get on methadone. Suboxone does absolutely nothing for pain. Methadone clinics prevent you from abusing or doing more than one days dose at a time too.

Methadone is fantastic for pain, however get thm to let you split dose if possible, I find that works best, but whatever works for you

In regards to the EMG - had it done. "Inconclusive" went to a specialist for that, said he "truthfully didn't know" This was the main specialist practice in Albany NY (i live around..there, around) His advice for the pain "drink tea".... Which i do.. often... Thats when I went to my normal GP and he started this opiate charade.

In regards to the surgery.. i really don't know. i plead ignorance. I'll ask him next visit in December.

Maybe MMT is what I should do. With no history of sub docs, no inpatient, no crim record, who knows if they would even take me on. There is on 15 miles from me. It would be more doable than this script/dope cop game..

 

[burn2shine]

Find a dirty doctor that will overprescribe you or a suboxone doctor. Youd have to pay out of pocket and go outside your insurance network, but ifyou got the funds the drugs are readily available for you. You could probably find the right doc on Yelp to be honest.

 

[Hammilton]

Methadone is your best bet. Long lasting and effective.

 

[Treefa]

I didn't read all that because now my buzz seems to be fading which is pissing me the fuck off,

But if you take 170mg oxy a day then subs couldn't hurt.

i abuse the shit out of my hydros but withdrawal from 70mg/a day giver take isn't really that bad.

Nothing some hard liquor and marijuana can't handle.

I get what your saying about pain though, i have back pain related to arthritis and it's not so much i want to get high but i need pain relief and without opiates all that works is alcohol and weed.