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  • EADD Moderators: Shambles

Family wants me to quit heroin but I'm only chipping?

But swarm, that's the thing, addictions can be strong or weak. They're not all equipotent.

They usually get stronger with time, though.

Although, that's not to say special circumstances cannot make it easy or easier to beat a well ingrained addiction.

l think you're conflating physiological dependence with addiction, ie withdrawal symptoms ?
 
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Yeah I can see that. I never really focused on that exact question before, just wrote what I did based on general feel. I'll definitely try it on for size over the rest of the weekend and see how it fits.
 
Addiction seems to have a negative component built into it, because you make irrational choices just so you get to engage in certain behaviours even at high cost. On the other hand, habits feel qualitatively different. I watch sports re runs every fucking night cos I'm broke and bored ... but this feels like a habit to me. Its like a neutral behaviour that I just seem to have stumbled upon that fills up the time.
 
I don't know, I'm addicted to nicotine, but I reduced the cost, i.e. cancer and emphysema by switching from smoking to snus. Still costs me money, of course! But it's affordable, compared to cancer and similar serious shit it's free! But I cannot go without!

(Obviously that is a probabilistic judgement not a guaranteed thing.)


And yeah the sports re-runs are probably not an addiction, unless you've become a fan! ;)


See if you had money and other opportunities you'd probably find it easy to do something else instead of sport re-runs. I invariably end up combining tobacco with everything else :) It's an end in itself. I absorb nicotine because of nicotine. You absorb people running around because it's less boring than staring at the wall :D
 
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That's a good example.

I think with cost I mean in terms of your decision making. Say if you were about to jump in a cab to catch a flight when you realised that you had forgotten to pack your ecig. Would you throw the whole schedule off?

Its a dumb example because of the existence of shops but you know what I mean.

Its a doubly bad example as I can now see that you made no mention of an e-cig anywere in your post.
 
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Well I don't do e-cigs, I stick moist snuff in my gob. But let me put it this way. It does not happen that I forget to pack my snus. And where I have run out of snus, I end up smoking, or when I went to the States, I ended up locating snus, cos you can buy it in shops there.


Same with kratom. I took some with me. I ran out. Tout suite I found a local retailer.

I'm lucky not to have a taste for heroin. If I did, I'm pretty sure I'd have gone out of my way to find the local scene. And, even though I don't have a heroin habit, and never have, I've identified possible sources in my current town, and come to think of it I do know who to ask in Portland Oregon =D Now that's an addictive substance.
 
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I first took heroin in Portland, Oregan! I was on an exchange program at Reed College. Only did it a few times though. Funnily enough it didn't resonate that much with me at the time as I was generally preoccupied with the coca and crystal meth.
 
(Prior to reading, I will tell you that this will be quite a long read but for good reason)

I can quite closely relate to the situation you're in actually class-a-team:

I recently had a large altercation with a long-time friend of mine because of me smoking gear once every fortnight or so.
He and another friend set me up with an appt. with a great local addiction service completely out of the blue one day and - seeing as it takes me about 4 hours to wake up from the meds I'm on (Amitriptyline being the major one actually, when considering I'm on much more addictive meds that one may blame for that fact) - I wasn't best pleased that they'd just turned up and told me this and, to use a far too strong term, coerced me into doing so (I feel really uncomfortable when people just turn up at my home - Let alone telling me they've set me up with an appointment that was in a few hours time) and in the end I said I'd go.

When I got into the appointment room, the first thing they (the two people who were on the other side of the table) told me was that they wanted to put me on a script: aka. on Buprenorphine or Methadone.
So it turned out that my friends had VASTLY prejudged my use to the point where they thought my use was controlling my life at this point. I told the table-opposites how often I used Heroin and that, if anything, it was Ethanol that had the strongest grip on my life and that it was the most hazardous substance that I used (and also that I was on Codeine for pain anyway)... Infact it was the one that I actually abuse and have the most horrible trouble with (it putting me in hospital et. al.).
And as soon as I told them that, one of the people left the room, likely because they expected me to be a "hardcore I.V.er" than some bloke who smoked some a day or two (if I had some left after the day before) a fortnight, and they gave me a number to call about Alcoholism and that was that - appointment over :?

So, when I returned from the appt. and told them what went down, my friends were cool with me on the drive back, but then when I spoke to the one who had been the "mastermind" - if you will - of the whole operation afterward, he thought that I was taking the piss and that I was lying to him about my use.
Now, don't get me wrong, I really had a fairly terrible addiction a year or two ago and - at that time - such action would have been appropriate, but these days I use Heroin as much as I used to drink when I was smoking weed over 8+ years ago when it wasn't causing me massive paranoia and psychotic episodes! (evidently this is where you find yourself with weed).
So yeah, I had replaced weed with gear in a manner. And when the drought came I replaced "gear" with Ethanol.
I was basically using whatever substance that kept my Depression, Anxieties and distraction from the situation that I was in from breaking through to the surface and really messing with me, because it was the pain I needed to go through.

But I can totally understand why your folks want you to quit outright, and especially that you're financially dependent on them.
Now I'm one to talk, but those who have suggested that if your use is as indifferent as you say, that you should quit completely - At the very least until you are financially independent as others have suggested.
This is purely a suggestion and I don't expect you to take it as gospel or anything, but by the sounds of what you and your family are going through at present, I would say that it would be a very good idea.

Something that I disagree with though that others have said, is that yes - Some people can use Opioids and not end up with a huge problem with them and let them rule their lives. I think that it's more of a situational manner that is the most poignant of factors when it comes to becoming addicted to any substance.
Like I said - I had a really big problem with Heroin a few years back, but now I'm still using the same drug and not having anywhere as near as a problematic relationship with it now.
Infact I remember when I first spoke out about my use of it here on BL and that I would never IV it, and everyone gave the same...
"Give it a while and I promise you will be"
... but I never have!
I've thought about it ofcourse, but whenever that happened I became aware that I was using too much and would go on a sabbatical. And I've never IV'd and never will :)
NSFW:
Unless it comes to my wish to take my life and even then it will only be once 8) (Forgive me - Very droll "humour")


Right - That's as far as I'll rant. Just please be careful and choose the path that's the best for you and your relationship with your family chuck <3 <3 <3
 
Swarm said:
I first took heroin in Portland, Oregan! I was on an exchange program at Reed College. Only did it a few times though. Funnily enough it didn't resonate that much with me at the time as I was generally preoccupied with the coca and crystal meth.
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Small world :D yeah I spent two fucking weeks there and I know a coke-head, a crack-head and a former heroin user - my sister. I also have a "great connect for kind bud" - my nephew.
 
knock said:
Small world :D yeah I spent two fucking weeks there and I know a coke-head, a crack-head and a former heroin user - my sister. I also have a "great connect for kind bud" - my nephew.
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Its mad. All wrecksters are like beacons sending out some code that all other wrecksters instantly recognise and gravitate towards. Two weeks is still pretty good going though.
 
Swarm said:
Its mad. All wrecksters are like beacons sending out some code that all other wrecksters instantly recognise and gravitate towards. Two weeks is still pretty good going though.
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It helps if, when you meet people, the first thing they do is offer you a huge line of coke, or if when you are being prepared for an introduction, your mediator informs you "x spends most of his time smoking crack" =D I suppose for that I have my stoner ex-junkie sister to thank (for the contacts). Something must run in the family, or have coalesced in it :)
 
Ha no he was my sister's lodger, nice enough guy, just had a fairly serious crack habit. The "mediator" was my sister. I was posting in "words" forum last night and I've not been speaking right ever since.
 
I was "chipping" for longer than 2 years 6 months & ended up in a right mess I am still fighting to get out of now.
Enough people have said to you, quit now & this idea you can get away is crazy, I said the same myself & failed.

Out of everyone I've come across it caught every single person, you will be sorry & mark my words be it 6 months or 6 years you will come back on here & say everyone was right about you getting caught out.
 
i hope you can keep chipping. heroin is great. but its soo addictive. and its only after youve had a proper habit or two that you realise how true this is. i feel like my brain chemistry has changed. anxiety gotten worse, less enjoyment from life, etc. now perhaps i am still in WDs and these things will solution themselves over a long period of time. but since i got off methadone i have relapsed on heroin several times and have dug a deeper hole for myself by getting a benzo addiction. having said that i still have managed to go on one day speedball binges during this time and avoid WDs.

if i had a pure affordable source of heroin i would be back on it now. reality is rarely so simple. although not physically addicted i am considering subutex (although not really available in ireland I did not like being on methadone.) my main reason is to stop my cravings, help me get a better quality of life and get off these benzos which i have thankfully not beeb on too long.

it definately sounds like you are psychologically addicted to some extent miss a-team. whatever your decision it is yours and nobody elses and i wish you luck with it.
 
Tryptamite said:
i hope you can keep chipping. heroin is great. but its soo addictive. and its only after youve had a proper habit or two that you realise how true this is. i feel like my brain chemistry has changed. anxiety gotten worse, less enjoyment from life, etc.
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This.

It's the one thing I can't leave alone sadly, I'm sure it will be the death of me & I accepted it a few years ago.
I know what you mean by feeling like your brain has changed, i really believe once you been on your never 100% off again.
 
By all means live your life and do whatever you see fit, but you must pay for your own drugs, if you're still living off your parents' shilling then you must play by their rules. Become financially independent first
 
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