Family wants me to quit heroin but I'm only chipping?

[class-a-team]

I'll try my best to keep this short because I know I have a tendency to ramble on. Basically I've been dabbling in heroin for the last two and a half years, never been sick. My family found out about it around six months ago and of course they're treating it like an addiction and want me to quit altogether. I'm 19 and in uni so I'm still financially dependent on my parents. They're doing everything in their means to stop me from using - forcing me to do drug tests, limiting my allowance, etc. - and for the most part it prevents me from using but I still score the occasional bag when I think I can get away with it. I wish I could show them that using heroin occasionally without becoming addicted is very possible, but I'm guessing that because I'm still relying on them for money I have to play by their rules? I'm pissed off because my parents are practically encouraging me to drink when I'm in college, for the sake of being 'sociable', yet as a Type 1 diabetic alcohol has far worse effects on my health than heroin does. What to do?

 

[BlindHelperMonkey]

get out now, if you value your family. you cant control heroin, many have tried. aleister crowley, with all his majick, familiars and mastery of the will - became a wretched addict, dirty, emaciated and threatening doctors who refused him prescriptions - that was morphine - not even heroin. do as thou wilt, but dont base your plans around its subjugation. to do so would be undoubtedly foolish

 

[swampdragon]

If it means that much to them and you want to prove you're not addicted, give it up completely. And if you particularly want to (not that it's the best idea, mind) you can always get back into it when you're financially independent and not living with them?

 

[BecomingJulie]

Yep. All good advice.

If you've not got a habit, then you can stop anytime you like; and if you have got a habit, then you need to stop anyway.

Keeping your family on side is important. Everything is just so much easier if you have their support. I know it's a cliché, but you really can't understand what parents go through until you've been in that situation yourself -- either as an actual parent yourself, or through a relationship with someone who already has children from a previous relationship.

It's not even forever -- just until you've got a job and are able to pay for your own drugs. That's the way to look at it. And there probably will be opportunities for experimentation without risk of parental discovery sometime in the meantime -- which you will appreciate all the more for their scarcity.

 

[Kronos]

get out now, if you value your family. you cant control heroin, many have tried.

Fucking this, you've done well to chip for as long as you have, but it never lasts. I dont wanna preach at you, so i'll just say if you're not addicted, why not just quit? Especially if you rely on your parents for money/board or whatever, you owe them that much imo.. youd be making them incredibly happy, and also saving yourself a lifetime of utter shite with the occasional euphoric rush.

Similar advice i was given when i started using regularly 5 or so years ago, fucking wish id followed it. the problem is people rarely follow advice when it comes to stuff like this

 

[class-a-team]

Thanks for all your replies, much appreciated!

@BHM with all due respect, I don't believe it's as black-and-white as you suggest. I think in order to estimate the likelihood of an addiction forming one must take into consideration numerous factors, not merely the type of drug in question. Not saying I have the greatest willpower (it's quite poor actually), but after day 3 of using heroin I get really bored and sick of it. It's not for at least a week later that scoring seems like a good idea, and even then, that's only if I remember I have the possibility to do so. Heroin isn't my favorite drug but it's nice for when I'm bored and just want to chill. I'd probably smoke weed instead if it didn't make me so paranoid.

@swampdragon Seems like my only option unfortunately!

@BecomingJulie I agree with most of what you have said, except for the idea that if I am not addicted I should be able to quit easily. After over two years of using on a weekly basis changing your lifestyle is not as straightforward as it might seem. Aside from that though, there are lots of things I am not addicted to that I would find hard to live without. Temptation can exist independent of addiction. But you're very right about how I don't know what my parents must be feeling, I can't even begin to imagine and perhaps I am selfish as well as stupid for thinking I can use heroin occasionally.

@ColourfulKronos Not sure if it never lasts, but the risk probably isn't worth it so maybe you are right.

 

[Jackeh]

You said you're financially dependent on your parents. If this is true and they don't want you using heroin then stop. This shouldn't be about whether you're addicted, you're using someone else's money to fund your habit and if you can't stop when they don't want you to then it seems like an addiction or at least the start of one.

You might not think you're addicted or might not think you're taking enough to, so if you aren't yet then why not just stop until you have your own money to use. At least by doing this you can a) keep your parents happy and b) ensure that you really aren't addicted.

 

[Urbain]

I think in order to estimate the likelihood of an addiction forming one must take into consideration numerous factors, not merely the type of drug in question. Not saying I have the greatest willpower (it's quite poor actually), but after day 3 of using heroin I get really bored and sick of it

@BecomingJulie I agree with most of what you have said, except for the idea that if I am not addicted I should be able to quit easily.

You're a moron, if you think you can 'control' Heroin.

 

[class-a-team]

You're a moron, if you think you can 'control' Heroin.

Plenty of people do, believe it or not: http://www.jrf.org.uk/system/files/1859354254.pdf. People don't become powerless defenseless beings from using heroin without a certain amount of overindulgence. The idea that heroin use and addiction is vastly different to that of other drugs is moronic. The main attribute distinct to heroin addiction from addiction to other drugs is the physical element - and after over two years of using, physical dependency has yet to develop. I'm not saying it won't, I'm just saying don't generalise basically.

 

[Kronos]

^From my experience, nobodys able to keep chipping. They either stop fairly quickly, or carry on like you are for a few months, maybe a year, maybe 5, but it'l still catch up with em. People speak about heroin in that way because of this, any other addictive drugs there are scores of people who can take em or leave em, with heroin its 1 in a million

 

[loumacari]

It gets you... No one wants to become an addict, no one wants to fiend or steal, or fuck up friendships and relationships..... But it happens.

 

[BecomingJulie]

@BecomingJulie I agree with most of what you have said, except for the idea that if I am not addicted I should be able to quit easily.

With all due respect, it's not me you're taking issue with, but the Oxford English Dictionary. If you find it not easy to quit doing something, you're addicted.

After over two years of using on a weekly basis changing your lifestyle is not as straightforward as it might seem. Aside from that though, there are lots of things I am not addicted to that I would find hard to live without. Temptation can exist independent of addiction.

Ah, but you're buying into the media narrative in which addiction is portrayed as a terrible thing in and of itself and addicts must lead a miserable life, denying themselves the very thing they enjoy as punishment for liking it. Yet there are hundreds of thousands of people addicted to tobacco, which is still just about legal, and they manage to keep it from interfering with the rest of their lives too much. Most people don't rob old ladies to buy fags. Most tobacconists don't shoot other tobacconists from moving vehicles. Most mothers will go without cigarettes to put shoes on their kids' feet. There are also counter-examples, if you look hard enough.

The simpla fact is, you are addicted to heroin. But this alone does not make you any less worthy of respect as a person, and you are welcome to give anyone who tells you otherwise a good kicking from me. (The converse also is true: being a high-functioning addict does not entitle you to any additional respect as a person.) I'm not saying quitting will be easy, but neither will it be as hard as you think. Especially if you convince yourself that it isn't permanent, and normal service will be resumed eventually. Opiate addiction has both a physiological and a psychological aspect to it, and you have to work on both to stand a chance of beating it.

But you're very right about how I don't know what my parents must be feeling, I can't even begin to imagine and perhaps I am selfish as well as stupid for thinking I can use heroin occasionally.

Not selfish or stupid; just human.

I'd probably smoke weed instead if it didn't make me so paranoid.

Weed makes you chilled-out, not paranoid. If you get paranoid, you must be either not smoking enough of it, or buying the wrong sort. Change your supplier or get growing your own.

 

[Jackeh]

Weed does make some people paranoid. Some users are more susceptible to that behaviour while using it.

 

[Tangerine Dream]

My family wanted me to quit drugs, so I quit my family... was that funny? How about now without tongue's they don't complain about my drug use and its effects on my behavior any more! No? Oh well.

I smoke heroin every now and then. Realised its well pricey compared to bupe or fent though. Lucky my mum doesn't care about me (that's a lie, she just makes sure i cut her into every deal)

If I was doing it often she would worry. But once or twice a month, and that's only recent.

Not everyone becomes addicted for various reasons, although a lot seem to. How do you know if you are one who does before it's too late?!

 

[class-a-team]

Hey thanks for replying again, I know you speak from experience and I really appreciate your input but there are a few things I have to disagree with.

With all due respect, it's not me you're taking issue with, but the Oxford English Dictionary. If you find it not easy to quit doing something, you're addicted.

By that logic, I'm also addicted to chocolate, the Internet and fingering myself.

The simpla fact is, you are addicted to heroin.

I'm certainly not. Just because I enjoy something doesn't mean I'm addicted to it. As I pointed out already, there are a lot of things in life that I would find difficult to live without. It doesn't mean I'm addicted to anything. To me, addiction put simply is when you continue to engage in something despite the severe adverse consequences it has on your life. Heroin hadn't had any severe consequences for me thus far, so why would I see any reason to quit? I can't quit just because someone else wants me to.

I'm not saying quitting will be easy, but neither will it be as hard as you think. Especially if you convince yourself that it isn't permanent, and normal service will be resumed eventually. Opiate addiction has both a physiological and a psychological aspect to it, and you have to work on both to stand a chance of beating it.

I don't quitting will be difficult, I gave in to temptation a couple of days ago after months of not using. The only bit about it that I regret is the fact that I got caught. I was never physically addicted to heroin so there isn't a physiological aspect to my use at all.

Weed makes you chilled-out, not paranoid. If you get paranoid, you must be either not smoking enough of it, or buying the wrong sort. Change your supplier or get growing your own.

The weed I smoke is normal, all of my friends love it but I hate it. I hate weed with a passion in fact. I hate the smell of it, the taste of it, the effects of it, pretty much everything about it... And if I have to smoke lots of weed before I enjoy it I will never smoke it again. The anxiety attacks I get from smoking are so horrific they have turned me off weed altogether.

 

[knock]

Hey thanks for replying again, I know you speak from experience and I really appreciate your input but there are a few things I have to disagree with.



By that logic, I'm also addicted to chocolate, the Internet and fingering myself.

Yes, you are (probably, seeing as you seem to be admitting to a compulsion), they are just different kinds of addictions. Although I have to say the fingering is probably harmless and will slow down naturally over the years :D

I'm certainly not. Just because I enjoy something doesn't mean I'm addicted to it. As I pointed out already, there are a lot of things in life that I would find difficult to live without. It doesn't mean I'm addicted to anything. To me, addiction put simply is when you continue to engage in something despite the severe adverse consequences it has on your life. Heroin hadn't had any severe consequences for me thus far, so why would I see any reason to quit? I can't quit just because someone else wants me to.

No, enjoyment doesn't equal addiction, but things which plug into the reward system of the brain lead to addiction with repeated activation. This is just the way the brain works.

I don't quitting will be difficult, I gave in to temptation a couple of days ago after months of not using. The only bit about it that I regret is the fact that I got caught. I was never physically addicted to heroin so there isn't a physiological aspect to my use at all.

See, the psychological aspect of addiction only exists because of the underlying physiological response. Of course there is a physiological aspect to your use, unless you're not actually absorbing the drug And yeah it's possible to be addicted to things even though you're not using them all the time. Addictions, and addicts, vary in terms of how controllable they are, how able we are to endure not acting on the compulsion, how frequently something must be repeated before it becomes compulsive, how long the cycle of compulsion takes to complete, how much it may be stretched without breaking, how much or little stimulus is required to maintain the addiction, etc.

There are actually at least two physiological habituating mechanisms involved in drug addiction:

- behaviour / reward system - you do something it feels good, brain learns to repeat the behaviour
- tolerance / dependence - you do something repeatedly, you get used to it, you need it to "feel OK"

And then there are at least two psychological elements - the struggle to control reward-driven behaviour, which is in itself habituating! (oh how I enjoy repeatedly freeing myself from this terrible dependence and sinking myself right back in it) and our psychological inability to endure the effects caused when we remove a stimulus to which we are tolerant/dependent (I see these as two sides of the same coin, but I can see how dependence might be spun off as yet a third/sixth physiological and psychological mechanism at work keeping you doing something for no rational end. And then there are the rational ends which feed these systems.)

It's quite complicated, sneaky shit and you're almost certainly not immune although it starts off fairly simple, and gets more complicated and sneaky the longer your habit and habits go on for.

You have an oversimplified (actually Julie is right, it's over-complicated, cos you've defined it to have more features than it actually has, so you can say you don't have it; but that's not to say the mechanisms aren't more complicated than you might think) view of addiction. Addiction is not "repeatedly does something despite severe adverse consequences", that's more like "problematic use", and/or "self-destruction", you can be addicted without any actual grave consequences. Just like me, to various things.

 

[backroll]

Well like Larkin said: "They fuck you up your mum and dad."

Problem is they got the market sorted: nature AND nurture or, some combination!

 

[BecomingJulie]

By that logic, I'm also addicted to chocolate, the Internet and fingering myself.

You probably are. I certainly am .....

Just because I enjoy something doesn't mean I'm addicted to it.

I never said that. I said that finding something hard to give up makes you an addict. And that is not automatically a bad thing in and of itself. I'm presuming you only touch yourself in private and if so, that addiction is not having any adverse consequences for you. You are a high-functioning masturbation addict.

As I pointed out already, there are a lot of things in life that I would find difficult to live without. It doesn't mean I'm addicted to anything. To me, addiction put simply is when you continue to engage in something despite the severe adverse consequences it has on your life.

That is just one particular type of addiction. An especial case, where the general case is more inclusive.

Heroin hadn't had any severe consequences for me thus far, so why would I see any reason to quit? I can't quit just because someone else wants me to.

If you weren't addicted, you could stop using heroin anytime you liked, for any reason no matter how silly.

I don't quitting will be difficult, I gave in to temptation a couple of days ago after months of not using. The only bit about it that I regret is the fact that I got caught. I was never physically addicted to heroin so there isn't a physiological aspect to my use at all.

And I'm truly glad that you haven't had problems yet. But there is obviously a psychological element to your use, and that can be even harder to deal with.

If you weren't addicted to heroin, you would find it easy to give up. That is all addiction means. I am not judging you. I am not saying anything bad about you. Simply being addicted to something is not bad in and of itself -- it is the way you handle it that makes it good or bad.

To be honest, what I'm most afraid of right now is you saying "Hah, what does this snotty old cow know anyway? I'll show her, I'm no addict!", digging in your heels and carrying on stubbornly as before; then getting caught in flagrante delicto again by your parents -- and in the meantime, your addiction worsening to the point where you will feel real, physical symptoms when forced to quit. And believe me, nobody deserves that. You've been offered an "out", and you'd be crazy not to accept it. Can you really not hold off scoring until your parents are going to be away from home for a few days?

 

[knock]

certainly the case for "nuclear families", backroll :D

except that makes them seem more exciting than they actually are.

 

[Swarm]

I'm pissed off because my parents are practically encouraging me to drink when I'm in college, for the sake of being 'sociable', yet as a Type 1 diabetic alcohol has far worse effects on my health than heroin does. What to do?

I can see why this would piss you off. Alcohol has been a big issue for me in the past so this bit caught my attention. Addiction is scary though. The first drug I really got hooked on was tramadol. Never saw it coming - had been using for years on and off when suddenly running out meant 4 nights no sleep. Took me about 3 years to get that straightened out - fucking embarrassing!

I maybe have a slightly different view of addiction to some others. To me addiction is a very powerful thing and I therefore shy away from using it to label every behaviour we carry out semi habitually. I'm not saying thats right, its just how i look at it and therefore i follow your logic. All I know really know is that every addiction I've had I never saw coming. Its weird.