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My Ex Left After Finding a Hotter Replacement

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My childhood best friend of 10 years, knew him since I was 9, stole my high school sweetheart we'd been dating for 4 years and I found out they were dating behind my back for 2 months, she then told me that she was pregnant and that he paid for her abortion, (we were going to have a child together like fuck I had only just turned 18 a month ago and I was going to be a father, but I realized wait no because you fucking aborted him).

Completely devastated me, its been a year and a half now and I've now reached a point in my life where I think I can be happy and soldier on, they didn't continue after that night they ended it, it was so fucked, a friend called me and picked me up because I was breaking down because my world fell apart. I walked from his house to my house the next morning (10miles) I was just a complete zombie, I couldn't believe it happened but better that happened in my life when I'm young rather than when I get married, I'll definitely pick the right one.

Hope you're feeling better Captain, we do get better just keep your chin up :)
 
Don't let their bad behaviour change your mind about the value of good behaviour. After my ex pulled her bullshit I thought to myself "if doing the right things makes me a bad man, than I guess I'll show just how far this man can fall."
 
iLoveYouWithaKnife said:
I agree with this. Someone can be the hottest person on the fucking planet, and if they have an awful personality, it makes them ugly. and vice versa.
Someone can be the lesser of what we define as "hot", but truer beauty shines through from the inside.
That cliché statement that beauty is in the eye of the beholder is so true.


And now C.H. after getting to the bottom of the story:
If she left you for another woman, then it was doomed from the start, unfortunately.

Really, if you ask me, I think she'll come to her senses.
Maybe you guys were going thru some problems or whatever, and the experience of another woman/fling is just making her forget about real life and making the now seem exciting and problem free.
That shit eventually goes away. Life can't hide forever.
If she left you, she doesn't deserve you in the first place.
AND if she just straight up left you, just like that, all being an asshole to satisfy her own needs and not care that she is hurting you, then you deserve way better.
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Great post. CH, to me the fact that she left you immediately doesn't suggest that she found this other person hotter, but rather that she was having some issues with your relationship at that point and wanted to escape from it for a bit and here came an easy and simple (at first) alternative. I know it's a shit situation regardless but I don't think you should blame it on something that isn't necessarily the cause and that'll inevitably simply make you feel worse.
 
Pagey said:
Great post. CH, to me the fact that she left you immediately doesn't suggest that she found this other person hotter, but rather that she was having some issues with your relationship at that point and wanted to escape from it for a bit and here came an easy and simple (at first) alternative. I know it's a shit situation regardless but I don't think you should blame it on something that isn't necessarily the cause and that'll inevitably simply make you feel worse.
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I am ok with what happened. I am asking if anyone else has had this happen in their lives. It was a true blessing.
 
I have never considered if the replacement was hotter.

What I have considered is whether or not I really understood what motivated the other to move on.

In all honesty the signs were always there; It only took moving outside of my ego to see that. Almost always it was too late not to feel hurt when the realization of being passed over sunk in.

In retrospect, I was too dependent on the reflection that the other provided. I'm not sure if that means all romantic relationships have a co-dependent/narcissictic base line that needs to be maintained to remain viable.


:\



Maybe growing out of that kind of dependence is a good thing.

:)










Time will tell. It almost always does, if you listen enough.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I am ok with what happened. I am asking if anyone else has had this happen in their lives. It was a true blessing.
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Might I ask if this is the girl who won your heart in your "patented success story"?
But to answer in tje thread: yes its happened to me a few times. And every single time I debated homicide for some months. Even planned them out to paying off alibis and enlisting the aid of a good friend whos mentally fucked like me sometimes.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
^ much greater than that.

I won't bother trying to paint the picture for anyone. I was just wondering if people actually been through anything like this before.
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Yes sir, I have, although this was years ago, 2006 to be exact. My ex-wife of 8 years cheated on me and got pregnant by one of my best friends friends. I don't think he was "hotter" than me lol, but he was a lot taller. I'm 5'10" and he is 6'4" and in pretty decent shape I guess.

We are civil now, and only talk about our child that we have together, but for years the fighting was brutal. It took me a good 2 1/2 years to wrap my head around and ultimately get over the whole situation. I really lost everything, including my job due to the perfect timing of a company merge and massive layoffs. We had a $300,000 home, 3 vehicles, and a child together, not to mention thousands of dollars in furniture, expensive appliances, and countless items that we collected together over the years. In the end I gave up, pulled out of the driveway in my truck, taking only my clothes and drove away to try and find somewhere to live. This proved to be very difficult because I had alienated most of my friends and family due to years of erratic behavior while abusing and being addicted to many drugs.

At the time, I was drinking heavily due to constantly going in out of severe withdrawals from my massive opiate and benzo addiction. I was basically trying to escape the reality of the situation any way that I possibly could. In retrospect, I imagine that I didn't want to feel any emotion at all. I would like to think that I would handle this situation very differently now.

After all was said and done, and the newness of her fling with this guy was over, she actually tried several times to get us back together. I even fooled myself into believing that my heart was actually in it on the first occasion, but ultimately I could never get over her betrayal. I would also never be able to trust her again, no matter how hard that I tried. I have to accept that and forgive her for everything, but still go through with the divorce.

Things will get better Captain. It will not be immediately, or even completely at first, but time does heal all. I'm also of the opinion that when a door is slammed shut, another one or two always open. I took a complete 180 degree turn in my career field and I honestly can say that I love my job that I'm working now. I have near zero stress, because I really do enjoy going in to work. I am living the single life, and only dating when I feel like it. I'm not ready to settle down again as of yet, but it's nice being able to learn from this situation and be much more responsible nowadays.

This is what I had to realize. A great deal of this situation was my fault. I was able to achieve peace of mind only when I surrendered to this truth, admitting it to myself, and finally accepting some of the blame. We just weren't meant to be together. What happened was going to happen no matter how much I tried to fight it, and I'm much better off now that I know this.

I hope this helps...just realize that you're not alone.
 
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afterlyfestyle said:
How do you cope now GM? Financially and emotionally?
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Financially, I had to spend several years recovering, but now I'm doing well again. I can honestly say that emotionally, I am completely over her and have been for several years. The only issue that takes an emotional toll on me is the fact that I can't see my son everyday. He lives about 1,200 miles from me now. He flew out here to GA for the summer, and that was really great, but he's back in school now in Texas. I get real sad and depressed sometimes when I think about how much I miss him. Sometimes you just gotta let a few tears flow and move on.
 
yep. got drunk for 5 months. tapered and detoxed. then got on heroin for 2 years. tapered and detoxed.

and now here i am. ready for another chick to fuck me over again.

give it time. i know that sounds pathetic and so not helpful, but its all you can do.

its true... the whole "better to have loved and lost..." thing. in many years you will look back and realize this just helped you grow

also, dont idolize or dream about the girl if possible. it may be hard, but if you get it set in your head that she is a dead end it helps.
 
Ugh it happened again.

I am thinking I am a golden ratio.

Or a diamond that is tired of all the faces I have acquired.

Question and answer time;

"How awful of a person are you?"
No comment. self bias and what not.
 
Hey man what happened? :(


& REMEMBER!!! Sadness goes away, you'll be back to feeling like a million bucks soon enough you know that's gonna happen.
 
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