I would like to apologise

[mydrugbuddy]

Thankyou all again for your support.

I havge noticed that it is maninly the newbies (been a member for 1 month or so) who are the less understanding types who are the main group of people giving me grief on here . They are acting like they own the site when they've only been here a matter of days. The wrongnes of that makes me feel physically sick. They clearly have not had chance to observere how people are on the forum, and will be under the impression that my behaviour during the meltdowns is the normal me. They hadnt known the real me who was on these boards for about 30 months before all this happened., I think they should all be lined up against a wall and shot by firing squad at dawn. hahaha

It obviously takes a bit of maturity and living and growing before some people can develop empathy towards others. If they ever can. Still getting about 3 attacks a day. What am i supposed to do aboiut it, i feel sitting back like a dummy and not saying anything is not right. Ignore is not right. Reasoning wityh them does not work. All i have left is verbal put downs. Im not sure if thats right or not either, But the ones that get them are certainly deserved.

 

[Bearlove]

Thankyou all again for your support.

I havge noticed that it is maninly the newbies (been a member for 1 month or so) who are the less understanding types who are the main group of people giving me grief on here . They are acting like they own the site when they've only been here a matter of days. The wrongnes of that makes me feel physically sick. They clearly have not had chance to observere how people are on the forum, and will be under the impression that my behaviour during the meltdowns is the normal me. They hadnt known the real me who was on these boards for about 30 months before all this happened., I think they should all be lined up against a wall and shot by firing squad at dawn. hahaha

It obviously takes a bit of maturity and living and growing before some people can develop empathy towards others. If they ever can. Still getting about 3 attacks a day. What am i supposed to do aboiut it, i feel sitting back like a dummy and not saying anything is not right. Ignore is not right. Reasoning wityh them does not work. All i have left is verbal put downs. Im not sure if thats right or not either, But the ones that get them are certainly deserved.

MDB - do you really care what the new users think? Meh -it's bit like reading 'MDB is fat' on a toilet wall and crying about it. New users are simply that - new users! They have neither earned your respect or have spoken to you enough to be able to put your down. Too many new users think that the only way to gain stature / reputation is to be bitchy/witty/quick with their put downs etc (lounge style).

Stop worrying about how people perceive you! If your being a cunt - PTC will tell you ! :D
Bear

 

[mydrugbuddy]

MDB - do you really care what the new users think? Meh -it's bit like reading 'MDB is fat' on a toilet wall and crying about it. New users are simply that - new users! They have neither earned your respect or have spoken to you enough to be able to put your down. Too many new users think that the only way to gain stature / reputation is to be bitchy/witty/quick with their put downs etc (lounge style).

Stop worrying about how people perceive you! If your being a cunt - PTC will tell you ! :D
Bear

I thinki can give as good as i get on here, i just feel like target number 1. All newbies seem to be under the impression ah lets take the piss out of mdb, it does bring me down every day. Though of couourse you are right - it sholuldnt because they dont know me atall, or anything about me. It would be like being taoght to drive a car by a himalayan shepperd who has never even seen a car, ie, they havent a fuckin clu what they are talking about. Ill keepo that on board.

I hope this current crop are fly by night, gone in a few weeks, rather than permanent fixtures. They are all a right nasty bunch.

COME BACK SPADE, PLEASE HAVE YOUR SHARE OF THIS GRIEF IM GETTING. IM NOT SURE WHAT YOU DID TO DESERERVE IT, but the dynamic if the forum would change totally if he retrned.,

 

[Bearlove]

I thinki can give as good as i get on here, i just feel like target number 1. All newbies seem to be under the impression ah lets take the piss out of mdb, it does bring me down every day. Though of couourse you are right - it sholuldnt because they dont know me atall, or anything about me. It would be like being taoght to drive a car by a himalayan shepperd who has never even seen a car, ie, they havent a fuckin clu what they are talking about. Ill keepo that on board.

I hope this current crop are fly by night, gone in a few weeks, rather than permanent fixtures. They are all a right nasty bunch.

COME BACK SPADE, PLEASE HAVE YOUR SHARE OF THIS GRIEF IM GETTING. IM NOT SURE WHAT YOU DID TO DESERERVE IT, but the dynamic if the forum would change totally if he retrned.,

MDB - I (because of my work of Pillreports) get a shit load of flack from new users etc. I personally couldn't give a flying fuck and comments from randoms mean absolutely nothing to me. If your making yourself 'target number 1' then firstly you have to understand that 99.9% of the comments are meant 'purely' for a reaction (the content of the messages are usually meaningless / the way they are delivered are meaningless /the people that send them are ...'meaningless'. Your better than this - fuck the trolls pulling you down, skim the messages - x y z messages from randoms - delete.

My honest advice - do not bite , do not respond to the horrible messages, you know who your talking with - delete all other messages. Yeah I get so much 'hate mail' under the guise 'I need a test kit' - I take this as a compliment as somebody has gone out of their way to disguise a message just to get me to read it.


Take it easy
Bear

 

[Mailmonkey]

Really good OP

Glad things are getting clearer for you mdb.

And yeah, you do owe a few people an apology...not for posting a lot, but for having a go when they were trying to help.

But you know that, and you've done it. Takes a big man, man.

Great post Bear too You get hate mail though?

MDB - I (because of my work of Pillreports) get a shit load of flack from new users etc. I personally couldn't give a flying fuck and comments from randoms mean absolutely nothing to me. If your making yourself 'target number 1' then firstly you have to understand that 99.9% of the comments are meant 'purely' for a reaction (the content of the messages are usually meaningless / the way they are delivered are meaningless /the people that send them are ...'meaningless'. Your better than this - fuck the trolls pulling you down, skim the messages - x y z messages from randoms - delete.

My honest advice - do not bite , do not respond to the horrible messages, you know who your talking with - delete all other messages. Yeah I get so much 'hate mail' under the guise 'I need a test kit' - I take this as a compliment as somebody has gone out of their way to disguise a message just to get me to read it.


Take it easy
Bear

 

[Bearlove]

Really good OP

Glad things are getting clearer for you mdb.

And yeah, you do owe a few people an apology...not for posting a lot, but for having a go when they were trying to help.

But you know that, and you've done it. Takes a big man, man.

Great post Bear too You get hate mail though?

Normally from you shouting about fishing :D ! (Fish Police / Shambles was the last one - cried myself to sleep that night :D)

 

[justinsayno]

thank you all. Thats very encouraging to get a few kind words,
I bet theres a mental illness forum with a section on drugs in it. Ill have a browse later.

it appears that you may be investing too much in this forum. Why go look for another ? Yes its attached to a HR website, and i have seen some good advice n stuff on here. But it is what it is; a forum.
You might get good advice or a supportive message in the comments section on a you-tube vid. But would you regard the person behind the supportive message as a friend ? Would you get butthurt if someone there called you a fag ?
Of course not.
No this isnt the comments on a you-tube vid....but its only a kick in the arse away from it.

Forums are good for filling time between wanks, after checking you e-mails, or during the adverts on tv or whatever.
They are not important. What is said here doesn't matter.
If you're seeing this place as some kind of support network then in my opinion, as human being and as someone who worked in the mental health sector, you are mistaken and its probably doing you more harm than good.
If stuff written here is bringing you down then its obviously doing you more harm than good.

IMO [ and yeah maybe i'm wrong ] if they havent made you a cup of tea or bummed a fag off ya they're not a friend, they are just words in a box. They may be amusing words in a box, they might occasionally give good advice or make you laugh and you might be able to form some kind of opinion about the person typing but as i say......its just words.

Get a real support network, real friends.

Its possible you may look at my join date and post count and decide this confirms your current 'its the new people' theory. But hey ho.

 

[Bearlove]

it appears that you may be investing too much in this forum. Why go look for another ? Yes its attached to a HR website, and i have seen some good advice n stuff on here. But it is what it is; a forum.
You might get good advice or a supportive message in the comments section on a you-tube vid. But would you regard the person behind the supportive message as a friend ? Would you get butthurt if someone there called you a fag ?
Of course not.
No this isnt the comments on a you-tube vid....but its only a kick in the arse away from it.

Forums are good for filling time between wanks, after checking you e-mails, or during the adverts on tv or whatever.
They are not important. What is said here doesn't matter.
If you're seeing this place as some kind of support network then in my opinion, as human being and as someone who worked in the mental health sector, you are mistaken and its probably doing you more harm than good.
If stuff written here is bringing you down then its obviously doing you more harm than good.

IMO [ and yeah maybe i'm wrong ] if they havent made you a cup of tea or bummed a fag off ya they're not a friend, they are just words in a box. They may be amusing words in a box, they might occasionally give good advice or make you laugh and you might be able to form some kind of opinion about the person typing but as i say......its just words.

Get a real support network, real friends.

Its possible you may look at my join date and post count and decide this confirms your current 'its the new people' theory. But hey ho.

^ This is the typical message I would igrnore ?

 

[RC Enthusiast]

^ This is the typical message I would igrnore ?

 

[Bearlove]

Damm it - wheres my hat ?

 

[justinsayno]

So somebody who has stated they have mental health problems will find the answers to their problems online ?
I disagree, less time online and more face to face interaction is healthier.

Just my 2 cents.
MDB is free to ignore my post of course.

 

[Bearlove]

So somebody who has stated they have mental health problems will find the answers to their problems online ?
I disagree, less time online and more face to face interaction is healthier.

Just my 2 cents.
MDB is free to ignore my post of course.

Im having a laugh - please do not take offence at my earlier post (sort of defeats the point :D)

 

[justinsayno]

ooh right..
wasnt offended...was a tad surprised tho

anyway MDB.... hope you get yourself sorted ASAP

 

[knock]

justin, whether you believe it or not, whether you like it or not, BL does provide a support network of sorts, I know because it's been here for me when I've been going through rough times.

Yes actual in-the-flesh contact with people is sometimes better, maybe more often than not; but it's often simply not available and sometimes a forum can be better than in-the-flesh. If I come to BL with problems I know that there are some people here who will understand them and not be so judgemental as to make me hate them. When I've been depressed BL has been much more useful than my family and friends. My family are the last people I would turn to, mainly because of family "politics". And it can be an unfair burden to dump your problems on friends. I prefer to have a laugh with friends rather than get into dark depressing stuff. I certainly have done the latter but I would rather keep it to a minimum. On BL people can choose whether or not they want to get involved in someone else's problem, and amazingly it's usually the case that someone here is able to listen and empathise.

I don't agree with your use of the word real, everybody here is a real person, and the communication is real. It is done on computers, maybe they're alien to you, but to a lot of people it's second nature to communicate via email, forums etc. Would you criticise a telephone call in the same way? Or a letter?

edit: unlike Bearlove I'm not joking I'm not having a go at you either though well maybe just a little!

 

[Marmalade]

Agreed. I like TPBs use of the term AFK (away from keyboard) as a definition, rather than irl versus online life.

Justin, you may not have experienced it here, but I can assure you there's a lot goes on that isn't displayed publicly in the forum .. support between posters here happens in many different ways ... be that via phone, or mail or meet ups. Some people don't just keep their interaction to surface level stuff displayed publicly. EADD goes way beyond that in may ways.

 

[knock]

Yes thanks marmz of course, I was in "make this point" mode and missed the elephant in the thread. It's actually much more than "a forum".

 

[justinsayno]

^ interesting...

E-mails arent alien to me [ christ i must write like a 50 year old! ]

I wasn't judging MDB, i can be awkward myself at times so understand that "go out and make friends!" is far easier said than done for some people.

A phone call or letter is different because we don't often call strangers.

I totally get the points you made, but i dont think they 'disprove' mine. MDB [ sorry to talk about ya when you're not online ] has said himself that comment here bring him down.
Thats clearly not a good thing.

Maybe the best approach is to accept the good things here, but invest a little less emotionally so the odd trollish comment doesnt cut so deep ?

The fact that someone can start a thread and get opinions that differ as much as ours is one of the good things about a forum. Cherry pick the bits you like and disregard the rest.

 

[Bearlove]

justin, whether you believe it or not, whether you like it or not, BL does provide a support network of sorts, I know because it's been here for me when I've been going through rough times.

Yes actual in-the-flesh contact with people is sometimes better, maybe more often than not; but it's often simply not available and sometimes a forum can be better than in-the-flesh. If I come to BL with problems I know that there are some people here who will understand them and not be so judgemental as to make me hate them. When I've been depressed BL has been much more useful than my family and friends. My family are the last people I would turn to, mainly because of family "politics". And it can be an unfair burden to dump your problems on friends. I prefer to have a laugh with friends rather than get into dark depressing stuff. I certainly have done the latter but I would rather keep it to a minimum. On BL people can choose whether or not they want to get involved in someone else's problem, and amazingly it's usually the case that someone here is able to listen and empathise.

I don't agree with your use of the word real, everybody here is a real person, and the communication is real. It is done on computers, maybe they're alien to you, but to a lot of people it's second nature to communicate via email, forums etc. Would you criticise a telephone call in the same way? Or a letter?

edit: unlike Bearlove I'm not joking I'm not having a go at you either though well maybe just a little!

I wasn't 'joking' though? (my point was heard) People are too quick to dismiss these forums / chatting online as an 'alternative' to real life interactions. For a lot of people - the interactions they have online is the 'only' interaction they have so it is as real as meeting your mates in a pub etc

 

[knock]

Justin - Yes that can be a useful approach but sometimes people aren't in "the right frame of mind" to do the cherry picking :D So there really is a responsibility on everyone to be at least somewhat considerate of other people. I was going to say "not to be a dick" but then I realised I would have an issue with that.

I wasn't 'joking' though?

Sorry I saw your "I was having a laugh" comment and misinterpreted it, while admittedly SKIMMING the posts that had been made while I was writing my own! It was a hasty edit

 

[justinsayno]

You 2 were posting as the same time as i was writing....

No i havent seen any of the offline or PM support you mentioned. My original comment here came from a good place... I was trying to be nice.