I haven't missed a day since February - my last month long break. I have also gotten into dabbing oils during this time period, which certainly has not helped my tolerance, nor concomitantly my withdrawal symptoms. And my withdrawal is very much rooted in real, valid, and debilitating physical symptoms - it's not just wanting to get high. My body gets rocked, fucking completely fucking owned when I don't smoke weed, in similar ways to what FnX described. It is agony.
Today, I have been suffering all day. Usually life is great, but today is garbage, because I am addicted to weed and chose not to smoke any today, which has been one hell of a willpower battle. I am on this website typing just to keep myself preoccupied, because the present state of my body is in sheer chaos and torture. I have not had anything to eat in 24 hours, and I usually consume a lot of food. I have insane gut rot, constantly feel like I am going to spew, and my anxiety is so bad that I really just want to fuck off and go catatonic. The anxiety is so bad that it is manifesting as physical problems seemingly unrelated to my messed up mind. But I know that everything is 100% due to the lack of thc. I can't remain still though, I always have to keep moving. But I just tried to down a light blueberry milkshake, to no avail. Puked it right out...
I can only imagine what "sleep" will be like tonight. Try tossing and turning while exploring the various ways in which I have ruined my life through abusing cannabis again. I don't even think melatonin could knock me out, I'm pretty manic. I've been having such a great time lately though, that I am due for some crap in my life. You can't just get all that magic and euphoria out of a plant for nothing. This will be worth it in the end, because getting baked a month or two down the road, without feeling like total shit after and needing to blaze again, is going to be great. And my health will improve.
But I will not allow myself to smoke cannabis again, until I can live a normal day without it. This is far from normal, it is damned misery. My reasons for getting baked should be valid. Warding off miserable withdrawal symptoms from hell, and inevitably further strengthening them in the end, is not a good reason to get baked. And if you're really smoking a lot of weed these days - as in, you actually notice and it's hard if you try and limit yourself a bit and not take a hit for 3 hours - then you can definitely expect some shit like this down the road, especially after blazing that hard for a good while. For those who keep it to evenings, and even for those who don't have the urge to take bong tokes all the time when they are already baked, you'd never experience anything remotely like this. It really takes some serious, heavy long term usage to completely fuck yourself over like this. You have to get addicted first - it is possible to develop a compulsive urge to smoke more weed even though you're already high and it doesn't make any sense for you to do that. You've just been using it too much for a while, probably more often than not, so that's what ends up happening with an addictive substance after awhile. Then comes the withdrawal. Otherwise, drug dealers wouldn't work so well because you'd just say "fuck this shit" at the very first tinge of withdrawal without having the cravings to keep you coming back.
Weed withdrawal really sucks, it is one of the most miserable things I have ever known, and it is real enough that it has pretty much ruined a great deal my life. It is real enough that giving into it has cost me tens of thousands of dollars. It is real enough that I cannot eat food, or get any sleep without being baked for an extended period of time. It is real enough that I have sacrificed my previously stable mental health for it. And that is sure as hell real enough for me. I have tried many things, and have known one addiction. I don't even know what addiction is for things other than weed. That doesn't make any sense to me, to myself addiction is, and always will be, one problem. It is a crazy battle with a plant that I really truly deeply love and I have allowed to merge with the core of my being to the point that I am a wreck without it. Imagine that, having to smoke a lot of weed just in order for your body to function. Seems like it could be pretty disturbing, right? I mean, being stoned is way different than being sober - my personality completely changes - and I was naturally born into a sober state, but I've become a different person and it's near-impossible to get back to my good old self - that fluid, laid back guy who remembers a lot, can actually sit down and focus, and enjoys talking to strangers. It just takes everything out of me to get back there. But the driving force, the urge to use is a very powerful beast and it owns my life right now unfortunately.