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how to fail a job interview

thanks guys, a judicious sprinkling of those techniques would almost ceratinly guarentee failure =D (hypothetically speaking)

I do want to get a job, but i need to retrain for it, which they will not support, so in the meantime, i have to apply for jobs i dont want.

another BROKEN SYSTEM, RAGE !!!. throws lcd through window ( no doesnt really)

Whitehall plans and ploicies to do not fit real lifes, real people and real circumstances. They should try living a real life. (i suppose i should try that a bit more often too lol) A holes.
 
one of the craziest of my crazy friends got issued a written warning in the managers office. He proceeded to set fire to it and let the flaming ember float to the floor. Maybe hed be watching too many gangster films. He was fired shortly afterwards for too may reasons to list.
 
yoyo50 said:
Id love to win the lotto and just go to work and see what stupid/crazy shit you could do before getting fired.
Click to expand...

Same haha

id pay everybody i work with in the warehouse to collapse all the racks and mix all the stock up then quit, would take weeks to sort that shit out, a mountain of mixed up steel across the entire warehouse
 
At my old place, there was a goods lift, and it was instant dismissible for riding the lift, and yet if you came in drunk you just get sent home =D

Didn't end well for the drunk lad who rode the lift :D

ColtDan said:
Same haha

id pay everybody i work with in the warehouse to collapse all the racks and mix all the stock up then quit, would take weeks to sort that shit out, a mountain of mixed up steel across the entire warehouse
Click to expand...

if i won the euro millions, id buy the company and not tell them and let my boss fire me then fire him =D
 
Allein said:
Tell the interviewer that you got sacked from your last job because you thought the management hadn't a fuking clue.....might have been true but I just saw trouble
Click to expand...

I did quit my last job for that reason. They seemed to think people skills involved yelling at people as though they were dogs and bearating the hell out of them at the top of their voice for ten minutes for one mistake they's made on day out of 200. The fact that the other 199 days were faultless didnt come into her aggressive tiny bird like Velociraptor brain.

Everyone has wised up now. All the staff carry portable auidio recorders ! . That bitch is gonna get done. Even the HR manager who was previuously held in low esteem as someone sent in to do hatchet job on the departement, told the manager "you are coming across as aggressive". The HR lady has suddenly gone from a zero to a hero :)
 
what job was it mydrugsbuddy? our place is like that, office staff treat us like knobheads, patronizing pricks, theres nearly been fights n all sorts of stuff
 
weve got slimeballs in our office that do things like that too. Im not violent but id love to boot his face until it looked like a meatball. He snitched up one colleague for calling a manager a bitch after shed been nasty to him. This went on to involve all sorts of disceplienraies and red tape, and from filling. What a stupid way to carry on.
 
We were not allowed to eat on the shop floor in a place i used to work in a mate got a written warning for eating a mars bar on the shop floor. In the managers office he refused to sign it then picked it up and started to eat it. needless to say he got the boot.
 
modern day slavery. They push your human rights to the very limit. No breaks for 6 hours if necessary. Absolute cunts. What replulses me most is a manager will occasioannlay buy a bag of sweets "for all your hard work"

FUCK OF YOU PATRONIZING CUNT IM NOT 4 YEARS OLD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAGE <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<STEAM>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

If i wanted to get fat and rot my teeth I'd go and buy my own sweets or doghnuts.

Whatever senior manager thought that was a good idea needs death by firing squad, by untrained amateurs. LOL.

ive just had an argument with my neighjbours so am a little angry i have a lovel;y little sloped curb where i ride my bike onto the pavement to get the my house. I approached at a bout 40 mph and this stupid fat cat was there "Move!" i said / shouted. They werent scallies so it was quite a civilized argument as arguments go, i still came off worse, and looked more like the idioit. Oh well. Book closed, lesson learnt. Dont shout Move at cats when their owners are around.

I fuckin hate cats they shit everywhere in my front and back garden. My dad does to. If i cant ride my bike wherever i choose how can cats go wherecer they choose including my garden to take their foul stinky infested shits wherecer it suits them. Ill give the owner a knock necct time and ask him tio clean it up lol.
 
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When they ask why you want the job, tell them you really don't but it was the only place that offered an interview.

I can't even remember the last job I had, it is all a massive blur now.
 
^In a similar vein, tell your would be boss, whatever, that you don't wanna waste his time "look mate, sorry but i've been sent here against my own will, i don't want the job or waste your time"........etc, be polite about it and make sure to say if the jobcentre get in touch, say you were no good for the job. Worked for me many years ago.
 
Tell them that you will need time each day to get to the chemist to pick up your methadone.
Amazing how that sentence changes their view of you and it won't land you in trouble with JCP.
 
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