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how to fail a job interview

maxalfie said:
Tell them that you will need time each day to get to the chemist to pick up your methadone.
Amazing how that sentence changes their view of you and it won't land you in trouble with JCP.
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Best one yet !!!!!!!!! =D

although the jsa may ask to see proof of that if the employer reports me. :|

everything has to be proven now

you can possibly get fake scripts off plush avenue though lol. (Not that im at all keen on going down that route - it would make me feel far more like a real criminal, rather than just someone trying to fix his own broken brain chemistry)

I could just tell them i have to pop out every few hours to top up my benzoes due to my anxiety issues 8)

The JSA have booked me in for a 2 and a half hour course of how to do well in interviews in a fortnight. Cant wait. Do they not think that as a person of inititative who's already secured about 10 jobs and 2 promotions that ive not already read and understood about as much as there is to know about interviews, and am already perfectly capable of "selling myself" and making a good impression, should i choose to want to do so. <annoyed>

The one system to fit everyone thing DOES NOT WORK. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE THE GOVERNMENT TO REALISE THIS. PEOPLE HAVE SO MANY UNIQUE CIRCUMSTANCES THE ARROGANCE AND PATRONIZING NATURE OF THE IDEA DOES ME FUCKIN HEAD IN !!!!!!!!!! <where is all this anger coming from, time for an etizolam maybe lol)

Dilemma - do i show him what i can do and possibly get pushed straight into a job, or act totally useless, and therefor have to have further remedial thicko level training ? 8o
 
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May be an unpopular suggestion but maybe you could, y'know, try to get the job? Surely even an entry level job is better than sitting at home on JSA? *

* (This is by no means a dig at people on genuine disability benefits, that's a different kettle of fish entirely)
 
mydrugbuddy said:
No, you don't understand. My plan is to go back to college to retrain to be counsellor/drugs worker. Its not that i dont want a job.

I want a very specific job.

Ive had 20 years of doing jobs i dindt want to do. That's enough for one lifetime surely.
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Can't you work and train? I had to study in my own time. Hard but oh so rewarding when it's done

Ps, I actually thought this was a jokey thread.. :|
 
Why the fuck should he get an "entry level job"? Why does he have to work and train? Bunch of fucking sadists. He's just said he's spent 20 years working jobs he didn't enjoy. And you're like "well, a little more won't hurt" :?
 
knock said:
Why the fuck should he get an "entry level job"? Why does he have to work and train? Bunch of fucking sadists. He's just said he's spent 20 years working jobs he didn't enjoy. And you're like "well, a little more won't hurt" :?
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Absolutely I am! Fuck I'm only 27 and I've done 13 years of doing jobs I didn't want to do! Plenty more left to do too, I guess that's why it's called WORK!
 
The alternative is to sign off JSA and go to uni. Should be able to get a mature learning grant AND a student loan.
 
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ive already been to uni. They wont pay for you to go twice. One option im considering is trying to get a lodger/housemate (and what a one he would be if hes up for it !) to help ends meet. Seriously part time jobs are hard to come by in Manchester due to the thousands of students. If it does come to that though I'll be pulling out all the stops to get one.

I have never known what i wanted to do with my life until recently. Now that i finally do, it feels like all the pieces of my life are coming together like a jigsaw.

I dont care if the pay is £12,00. I can live off that. I want the human challenge and human rewards. Not fuckin entering data into a pc for another 23 years. Id rather be dead or in prison geting raped up the arse every night.

Im 43, and thats quite a lot longer to have had to put up with demeaning shit than your 27. Believe me there comes a point where you just cant take any more crap. I wouldnt do a pontifex, but id have my resignation letter ready to throw on HRs desk if anyone started fucking me around again. Being 43 does not that makes me above entry level jobs, but wouldnt that be a bit of a waste of my skills and talents and experience. :|

I think 23 years of doing crap godawful jobs gives me some right to take a breather and plan how im gonna start the next stage of my career. Nothing wrong with that surely !

I have mainly supported myself off my own hard earned savings through this hiatus, and have only receive about 4 weeks in benefits. Does that make a dole scrounjging scum of the earth ! ?
 
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I once went for a job interview in GBL withdrawal (I was in the middle of 24/7 use, and had to go without). I was a sweating, shaking, mess, and ended up having to do a little presentation thing, in front of a few people. I then had a normal sit down interview. I was certain I'd fucked it, from the state I was in, but I only went and got the job! It was a popular ISP, as well. They don't just take on any old cunt. Needless to say, I lasted about a month, or two, and had about two weeks off, and was fired. I really could not hold down a job, at that point. Other interviews, I've had some benzos, beforehand, and got several jobs. Oh, this is about how not to get a job. Turning up in a trench coat, not particularly well dressed seemed to work, in that department.
 
I turned up for a job interview wearing a crap shirt, a pair of jeans & trainers (I couldn't find my shoes lol) stinking of the previous night's Strongbow. Looked an absolute state. Another wee guy there for an interview was suited and booted, rocking a briefcase. I got the job. Briefcase wanker didn't.

The point of that story? If you don't want the job buy a briefcase.
 
parttime crackhead said:
I turned up for a job interview wearing a crap shirt, a pair of jeans & trainers (I couldn't find my shoes lol) stinking of the previous night's Strongbow. Looked an absolute state. Another wee guy there for an interview was suited and booted, rocking a briefcase. I got the job. Briefcase wanker didn't.

The point of that story? If you don't want the job buy a briefcase.
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lol. I went for a job interview in a hoodie, a tracksuit bottom and wearing a pair of trainers. Got the job selling apple computers for a year. couldn't believe it even the assistant manager said it to me after I was hired that she didn't know why the manager hired me dressed like a chav.
 
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