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Single? For how long?

bagochina said:
I have never been able to understand those girls that are constantly in relationships, usually I try to avoid them.
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My ex was like this. She was always in a relationship and had been since she was a teenager. I think in her case it was filling the void she felt and the constant needs for affection to fill her loneliness and depression. But you'd have to take each person on a case by case basis. Some might be similiar, others would have their own reasons where it has nothing to do with this.

The longest I have been single since I started dating properly would be almost three years. I had plenty of sexual partners between then and a few 'fuck buddy' situations that was close to a relationship (many people would probably consider them a relationship - they just weren't in my mind).

At the moment, I am coming up to six months being single. I have been thinking about it alot recently. To be honest, I am pretty happy being single at the moment. The last six months, though immensly difficult, have allowed me to grow alot as a person and focus on myself and what I want. Previously, and before my last relationship, I wasn't happy being single, despite having a number of opportunities to be in a relationship. Now, I am happy with not even having sex for a while. It's been kind of liberating focusing on things other than a relationship or dating (though it has only been a month since I have been on a date and two months since I had sex).

If the right girl came along and I was stoked on her, then I would probably date her exclusively. However, at the moment, I am happy focusing on my career and money rather than actively going out and trying to get laid or date girls.
 
Shit, was in a relationship from 16-18, 6 month break, then a 6 month relationship. Now I've been single for almost two years. Jesus fuck, I don't even remember what sex feels like, and for almost 2 years straight I was having it multiple times a day.

It's beyond depressing/lonely, it's kind of like when you've been a junkie so long it's just like meh, life is cold and dark, so what

I would love a nice, respectable girl, especially since I got clean, but basically all college age girls are whores and I can't be with someone who's had more sexual partners than they can count on one hand
 
It will come with time, my friend. Just keep taking care of you, and the girls will notice. Comes when you least expect it.
 
i might have you all beat, ive been single for 7 years and without sex too. I was 16 when i had a girlfriend for about 6 months. She was abusive and manipulative. My friends have tried to set me up with girls but they either arent into me, or they sleep around a lot and/or want him :(
 
Was in a relationship for 2 years, and I've been single for almost 3 now.

I'm 22.

I really do want a relationship deep down, but after all of the shit my last girl put me through, I'm just better off alone.
 
I had my first gf when I was 11 and have been in constant relationships since, with one marriage. I have now been mostly single for about 2 years and can't say I'm enjoying it at all, not after being in good relationships most of my life. I do have a fwb that I get to see irregularly but really want a relationship again.
 
RedRum OG said:
I would love a nice, respectable girl, especially since I got clean, but basically all college age girls are whores and I can't be with someone who's had more sexual partners than they can count on one hand
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Pagey said:
What, so 6 sexual partners is a lot?
You know it's not cuz a girl likes to have one night stands that she's not nice, respectable or worthy of your interest :)
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Exactly what I'm thinking. Just because a girl has slept with multiple people before doesn't mean she isn't a good person. There are lots of people who have had sex with far more than six people who are really cool and would probably make good girlfriends. Why can't a girl who has had six partners be nice and respectable??

My boyfriend has had far more than six sexual partners. I don't know the amount, but I would guess maybe around 10? I've had one (before him). I don't really care. We're both clean ... so I don't really see the issue with him having slept with many girls. It's the past.

Not all college age girls are whores. Even though I'm out of college, I'm only 22 and many people my age are in college and not all of them are whores. I have plenty of friends (around my age) who are virgins and who have slept with many guys. There is a lot of variety out there.


Is it that you have had less sexual experience and would be upset if your girlfriend had more experience with sex than you?
 
^Yeah, I mean I dunno, since I got out of my last relationship last august I've slept with maybe 5 or 6 guys which would bring my total up to 7-8 and I don't consider myself a 'whore' at all... in fact I don't see any kind of problem with it and I don't see why it would make me any less of a good girlfriend.
It's just that when I'm single, I still want to have sex. What's wrong with that? :p
 
Snake_Eyes said:
Not really. Between not having no self confidence, self loathing and lack of women around my age I just kind of accepted that I'll never be with anyone again.
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Aw :( I hope one day soon you'll come to realize that that doesn't have to be the case though. No matter what you may think now, there's always at least one person out there for you. You just gotta look :)
 
I can't understand guys that feel insecure with women who are sexually experienced or worse, turn down what could be a great relationship because they place a numerical value on the acceptable number of relationships she can have in comparison to their own, how would they feel if she did the same? The girl I'm seeing infrequently at the moment told me she's probably had about 200, not only is her experience amazing but she's a wonderful person and I hope that we can develop a relationship. I really hate term "whore" used at all especially with regards to women with experience. What do we call us guys with that experience ... studs? I sure aren't' one.

Came across this the other day, one woman's story about the loss of a great relationship because her partner felt threatened by her experience.

http://au.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/42_dating_advice.html
 
IntimacyAddict said:
I can't understand guys that feel insecure with women who are sexually experienced or worse, turn down what could be a great relationship because they place a numerical value on the acceptable number of relationships she can have in comparison to their own, how would they feel if she did the same? The girl I'm seeing infrequently at the moment told me she's probably had about 200, not only is her experience amazing but she's a wonderful person and I hope that we can develop a relationship. I really hate term "whore" used at all especially with regards to women with experience. What do we call us guys with that experience ... studs? I sure aren't' one.

Came across this the other day, one woman's story about the loss of a great relationship because her partner felt threatened by her experience.

http://au.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/42_dating_advice.html
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I'm kinda hoping the term "whore" loses its potency. My sister and I call each other whores as a joke. Kinda like instead of saying "fuck you" we say "whore" to each other. Maybe that's why it just doesn't affect me. There is definitely a double-standard for men and women, though.

I don't have it in me to sleep around, but I've had some pretty freakin awesome female friends who slept around a lot and the men who got involved with them were pretty damn lucky to know such awesome women.
 
^ Yes it's one thing women calling each other that for fun, but I couldn't do it - that's even out when it comes to talking dirty during sex.

My FWB who's had a lot of partners says that it's wasn't because she wanted to sleep around, but because guys wouldn't commit to a relationship. I am definitely the lucky one.
 
Lysis said:
I'm kinda hoping the term "whore" loses its potency. My sister and I call each other whores as a joke. Kinda like instead of saying "fuck you" we say "whore" to each other. Maybe that's why it just doesn't affect me. There is definitely a double-standard for men and women, though.

I don't have it in me to sleep around, but I've had some pretty freakin awesome female friends who slept around a lot and the men who got involved with them were pretty damn lucky to know such awesome women.
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Yeah same, my best friend and I call each other sluts all the time - but there's a difference between that, when it's said jokingly, and a guy calling any girl who's had more than 5 sexual partners a whore (sorry RedRum, but I mean come on...). It's pretty ridiculous how deeply that double-standard seems to be inked into us.
Like okay, that best friend in question sleeps around a LOT (like a guy every week...a lot), but that doesn't stop her from being absolutely awesome and any guy would be lucky to have her as a girlfriend. There was drama in our last year of high school because she hooked up with some guy in her class and everyone started calling her a slut, whore etc., but no one said anything about the guy. Pretty ridiculous really.
 
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