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Stimulants Abusive HX of alcohol and Speed-need someone to call it like it is!

I

inspireme

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 28, 2012
Messages
9
First experience with drugs as a teen....hippy drugs back then. I was a teen) There was speed (pills) but then I could never find them but when I did I would take take too many (loved it). I really did not hang out with the "drug" people then and my demon was always alcohol (ETOH speeds me up also and too much of it. Yea, yea, hx of legal issues with it)

To make a long story short, I discovered Phentermine (diet pill), found a doc who handed it out like candy.....abused that for a few years....and DRANK and could drink more with those neat pills!....then some asshole gave me something called "crank" when I asked for Coke. (LOL) recreationally used a few times, then Tweakers started ending up on my front door and this is how I "learned" IV. Used heavily for a short time, then moved the hell away to another city to "escape".

5 years later, in a bar (I DRANK-LOL) a friend asked someone for E....and he said "no, but I have something better called Ice. SHIT I SAID!

I have been using on and off since but off times were more frequent as I did not have access (I am in a professional realm and lead a double life there). Well, again, the damn people end up too often on my doorstop.

I have realized this after all these years (well one of the things).....I LOVE SPEED...I have had a "fat" complex since childhood and if I am off too long I feel like I have gained 500 pounds and start looking for this quick fix to lose those 500 pounds (Its a lie and the truth) but I am noticing NOW if I cant have it when I want it I become bitchy, unhappy, pissed off at the dope dealer (haha) and depressed because I am fat (again). Someone confirm to me that this is withdrawal I am experiencing which in turn leads me to believe I am liking it a little too much which scares me. (By the way, I RARELY DRINK anymore)

I have controlled myself to a point and when I had it, I maintained small daily snorts insisting on sleeping at night (pissed off about it too!). And....here comes yet another enabler........he IV's.

I guess I need to convince myself to get off it....but I "dontwanna". If you have been where I am, call it! I guess I need to hear it from someone other than liar, cheater, user, enabler other people I can confide in!

Thanks for reading!
 
There is going to be times in your addiction when you truly want to quit. Unless you actually want to do it for yourself, you're not going to. I don't mean during a comedown at 4am staring at an empty bag in the dark, but for real. If you're anything like me, you have to learn everything in life first hand, the hard way. If not, that's great, but either way it would help if you spoke to people about what you are experiencing if only to widen your support group. I don't know where you live, but you should be able to find a social/street worker someplace who will be able to help you out by getting you in touch with services you need.

It seems this isn't simply a substance use issue, but also one of body image. Often they go hand in hand with stimulants, and you need to address both aspects of the problem at the same time.


Here is a link to The Dark Side's Meth/amphetamine quitting thread:

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/451056-Meth-Amphetamines-Serious-Discussion-Only-V-2-MERGED-with-amps-quitting-thread

I know how it is, stay strong.
Shoot me a PM if you want to chat.
<3
 
wiggi said:
^ ETOH is commonly used terminology.
Click to expand...

No it isn't. I have yet to encounter anybody who uses the terms interchangeably in conversation. I have yet to encounter anyone who uses the term at all.

Its a completely unnecessary substitution, and frankly is just poor writing.
 
onetwonine said:
No it isn't. I have yet to encounter anybody who uses the terms interchangeably in conversation. I have yet to encounter anyone who uses the term at all.

Its a completely unnecessary substitution, and frankly is just poor writing.
Click to expand...

ETOH is a commonly used term in any sort of academic or medical writing. I've seen it plenty of times on Bluelight.

ETOH is poor writing, but saying its is acceptable to you?
 
I know people that only know alcohol by ETOH. If we're going to start hating on people for calling alcohol, ETOH, where does it end? with a society that doesn't know ETOH = alcohol.

maybe unnecessary substitution, but poor writing? I don't see anything wrong with being specific.

ETOH distinguishes from other common alcohols like isopropyl and benzyl alcohol.
 
wiggi said:
ETOH is a commonly used term in any sort of academic or medical writing. I've seen it plenty of times on Bluelight.

ETOH is poor writing, but saying its is acceptable to you?
Click to expand...


This isn't any academic or medical writing. It's a forum post.

Missing punctuation isn't poor writing. Absolutely everybody who has written anything has done it.

I know people that only know alcohol by ETOH. If we're going to start hating on people for calling alcohol, ETOH, where does it end? with a society that doesn't know ETOH = alcohol.

maybe unnecessary substitution, but poor writing? I don't see anything wrong with being specific.

ETOH distinguishes from other common alcohols like isopropyl and benzyl alcohol.
Click to expand...

You don't know anybody that knows alcohol only by ETOH, I don't believe you. Its not necessary to distinguish ETOH from isoprop or benzyl alcohol. It's just assumed knowledge. If OP had just said he was mixing alcohol (instead of ETOH) with speed, not a single person would have wondered if he meant he was mixing benzyl alcohol with speed.

Unnecessary complexity is poor writing, as it detracts from the message. Calling alcohol ETOH is unnecessary complexity.
 
Yeah, sorry.

There is no problem. I'm just neurotic, and off my medications.

Pet peeves are inherently irrational. At least mine are.
 
Last edited:
inspireme said:
ETOH....was a medic for 10 yrs....habit!
Click to expand...

Don't worry about it, it's basic chemistry, I'm sorry that your thread went offtopic on that minor detail.

I definitely would encourage you to check out The Dark Side while you wait for more replies, there's a perfect link above, and you might find something you're looking for there, chances are good.
 
onetwonine said:
No it isn't. I have yet to encounter anybody who uses the terms interchangeably in conversation. I have yet to encounter anyone who uses the term at all.

Its a completely unnecessary substitution, and frankly is just poor writing.
Click to expand...

Dude...alcohol can be anything, including testosterone. If you want to differenciate between the alcohol you drink and the one you ejaculate through your dick hole you need to call it ETOH.
 
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