First experience with drugs as a teen....hippy drugs back then. I was a teen) There was speed (pills) but then I could never find them but when I did I would take take too many (loved it). I really did not hang out with the "drug" people then and my demon was always alcohol (ETOH speeds me up also and too much of it. Yea, yea, hx of legal issues with it)
To make a long story short, I discovered Phentermine (diet pill), found a doc who handed it out like candy.....abused that for a few years....and DRANK and could drink more with those neat pills!....then some asshole gave me something called "crank" when I asked for Coke. (LOL) recreationally used a few times, then Tweakers started ending up on my front door and this is how I "learned" IV. Used heavily for a short time, then moved the hell away to another city to "escape".
5 years later, in a bar (I DRANK-LOL) a friend asked someone for E....and he said "no, but I have something better called Ice. SHIT I SAID!
I have been using on and off since but off times were more frequent as I did not have access (I am in a professional realm and lead a double life there). Well, again, the damn people end up too often on my doorstop.
I have realized this after all these years (well one of the things).....I LOVE SPEED...I have had a "fat" complex since childhood and if I am off too long I feel like I have gained 500 pounds and start looking for this quick fix to lose those 500 pounds (Its a lie and the truth) but I am noticing NOW if I cant have it when I want it I become bitchy, unhappy, pissed off at the dope dealer (haha) and depressed because I am fat (again). Someone confirm to me that this is withdrawal I am experiencing which in turn leads me to believe I am liking it a little too much which scares me. (By the way, I RARELY DRINK anymore)
I have controlled myself to a point and when I had it, I maintained small daily snorts insisting on sleeping at night (pissed off about it too!). And....here comes yet another enabler........he IV's.
I guess I need to convince myself to get off it....but I "dontwanna". If you have been where I am, call it! I guess I need to hear it from someone other than liar, cheater, user, enabler other people I can confide in!
Thanks for reading!
To make a long story short, I discovered Phentermine (diet pill), found a doc who handed it out like candy.....abused that for a few years....and DRANK and could drink more with those neat pills!....then some asshole gave me something called "crank" when I asked for Coke. (LOL) recreationally used a few times, then Tweakers started ending up on my front door and this is how I "learned" IV. Used heavily for a short time, then moved the hell away to another city to "escape".
5 years later, in a bar (I DRANK-LOL) a friend asked someone for E....and he said "no, but I have something better called Ice. SHIT I SAID!
I have been using on and off since but off times were more frequent as I did not have access (I am in a professional realm and lead a double life there). Well, again, the damn people end up too often on my doorstop.
I have realized this after all these years (well one of the things).....I LOVE SPEED...I have had a "fat" complex since childhood and if I am off too long I feel like I have gained 500 pounds and start looking for this quick fix to lose those 500 pounds (Its a lie and the truth) but I am noticing NOW if I cant have it when I want it I become bitchy, unhappy, pissed off at the dope dealer (haha) and depressed because I am fat (again). Someone confirm to me that this is withdrawal I am experiencing which in turn leads me to believe I am liking it a little too much which scares me. (By the way, I RARELY DRINK anymore)
I have controlled myself to a point and when I had it, I maintained small daily snorts insisting on sleeping at night (pissed off about it too!). And....here comes yet another enabler........he IV's.
I guess I need to convince myself to get off it....but I "dontwanna". If you have been where I am, call it! I guess I need to hear it from someone other than liar, cheater, user, enabler other people I can confide in!
Thanks for reading!