Harambulus
Greenlighter
also is there a differences between dependence and recreational use since any kind of using a foreign substance is dependence of a kind isnt it rather than relying on your 'God Given Sobriety'?
Like these days, since im t total most of the time i find it really fucking boring most of the time as i have very little to look forward to. on the one hand i wonder if i should just be 'strong' and endure the boredom and learn to appreciate this 'straight' lifestyle or whether just taking something a cpl ties a year is ok- like mdma and a bit of weed.
I still havent found an answer bt i do know sobriety has been fucking boring the periods i do it and that im always 'waiting for the payoff' of life which never seems to materialise.
The way i currently see it is- taking drugs a cpl times a year and at least having a little pleasure now and then but feeling guilty and like a failure for using some foreign substances to enjoy life or on the other hand live in indefinite boredom and malcontent at at bleak and humdrum existence always moving on the treadmill with the fruit of life just being out of reach to touch.
Like these days, since im t total most of the time i find it really fucking boring most of the time as i have very little to look forward to. on the one hand i wonder if i should just be 'strong' and endure the boredom and learn to appreciate this 'straight' lifestyle or whether just taking something a cpl ties a year is ok- like mdma and a bit of weed.
I still havent found an answer bt i do know sobriety has been fucking boring the periods i do it and that im always 'waiting for the payoff' of life which never seems to materialise.
The way i currently see it is- taking drugs a cpl times a year and at least having a little pleasure now and then but feeling guilty and like a failure for using some foreign substances to enjoy life or on the other hand live in indefinite boredom and malcontent at at bleak and humdrum existence always moving on the treadmill with the fruit of life just being out of reach to touch.
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