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My relationship is like a rollercoaster. Is it normal to feel this way?

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I'm confused. You say you guys broke up and then at the end that you're back together. Did you agree to get back together with her when she called you?

I'm sorry to be harsh but I seriously think you just have to man up and get this over with (not that I'm suggesting you're being a coward or that it's easy to do - trust me, I know it's really difficult). I started being miserable in my last LT relationship about a year in but I never broke it off with him because I was just afraid of it being worse once it was over - so I let the relationship drag on for over another year until he ended up cheating on me and breaking up with me himself. Trust me, I regret so much not having the guts to do it when it was starting to go bad. It would have saved me so much pain. The longer you drag this out, the more likely it is to hurt when you guys finally break up. :\
 
Yeah, I kind of agreed to get back together... But I told her she has to change, she has to let me help her with all her issues, she has to accept my love to be able to give some back in return. She's closed herself off from the world... She doesn't talk about her shit, she just keeps them inside... She doesn't trust anything and anyone. I told her to let the love flow through her and that it's the only way of changing herself. I remember how my first MDMA experience had changed me... made me a much better person :) If she wants to be with me she will open up and accept my help.

She said she wants to go to a psychiatrist but she doesn't really have any money to pay for one... what a bummer.
She said she doesn't want to take MDMA.
So the only option here is for me to help her any way I can... I don't know why I'm doing this.

This isn't about cheating, this isn't about her not loving me... This is about her fucking problems and they weigh so heavily on her that she blocks every feeling she has... she has become like a zombie. She denies her feelings because her feelings mean suffering... Sadly, this also means her feelings for me....
 
I reiterate my opinion, nothing good is gonna come out of this for you...you can't take on all the responsibility of helping her with her issues, you just can't. Her talking about them with her friends rather than you would be a MUCH better option. I was the depressed one in that relationship I was talking about, my boyfriend was very much aware of it and I relied on him for support too much - and in retrospect, that's one of the things that put a lot of strain on the relationship. Plus he didn't even help really, because I don't know, a boyfriend/girlfriend really isn't the appropriate person when it comes to such problems I think. You can be supportive and help, yes, but you can't be her only rock. If she's in such bad shape she needs to work on herself before she'll be able to have a stable relationship and in the meantime she's just going to 'drag you down' with her.
 
Yes. I really think she is dragging me down... so so so much.
After I broke up with her I realized my full potential. For the first time in 3 months I felt truly FREE. Like the rush you get from coke or something.
Now, after getting back together with her it's like I'm taking all of her problems and making them mine... It's like something that weighs on me.
I have to escape.
 
I'll say it again dude. U need her to be happy. Which isnt right. u need to get to the point of being happy on ur own before u enter another rrelationship.

I was u a ccouple years ago until i saw the light. I stayed single for 2 years to work on myself so glad i did. I used to post some sad shit on here but that dont happen ne more.

Break it off dude. No need to break up just delete her number and avoid all contact. She's psycho and ur dependant on her for ur happiness. U can deny it to urself all day long but its the truth.

Relationships like this is garbo compared to being healthy and being happy with urself and then meeting someone similiar.

Work on the needy shit bro trust me.
 
BluLait said:
Yes. I really think she is dragging me down... so so so much.
After I broke up with her I realized my full potential. For the first time in 3 months I felt truly FREE. Like the rush you get from coke or something.
Now, after getting back together with her it's like I'm taking all of her problems and making them mine... It's like something that weighs on me.
I have to escape.
Click to expand...

Yes! Just do it, get it over with once and for all, and then ignore her calls or something so that she can't convince you to come back. You really need this for yourself. Just remember that it's pretty likely you guys are bound to break up for good eventually in any case, so you may as well do it now and be able to attain that full potential sooner.
 
She's 17 though... I keep hoping she'll solve these fucking teenage issues and get it over with.
And because I love her, I want to help her so much. Ever since trying psychedelic drugs I have been a lovey-dovey kind of person, wanting to help everyone and living in an utopia... And I honestly want to help people. But I can't help her without hurting myself even more, this is what's fucking me.

I'll feel bad leaving her when I may be able to do something for her... But I don't know.

One friend is telling me to stick with her because she'll eventually come around... But the truth is, she is a fucking drama queen. If I say something even a little upsetting she starts shouting at me and yelling. Sometimes she just hangs up the phone when she gets too pissed off over some trivial shit.... Only to call me back later and talk like nothing had happened. And if I bring the subject up again, she'll get mad and say "of course I hung up... you said bla bla bla, you don't care about me bla bla bla, you're an egoist bla bla bla".

It's like, no matter what I do or say, she will always act the same way.
The only time she seems to give me love and act normal, is after we break-up and get back together...

She's a good person, deep inside... she's funny, smart, social, pretty, sexy.... But she has these frustrations and stuff weighing her down. She admits to all of this, she is aware that she has an issue and she keeps telling me that I deserve more than her, she is telling me that she's treating me like crap and all.

Now she said she wants some time for herself to sort out her issues... But this is a trap. I know these traps too well. When she says she doesn't want to talk to me and wants to be alone for a while to sort out her issues, what she really wants to say - or better said - what she wants me to do is be there for her and support her. If I don't call her and tell her I'll leave her alone to sort out her issues, she'll call me in 1-2 days and/or pop up at my house randomly and act all hurt and weird so that we get back together. Then we have 3-4 days of sex & happy & shit, then all the crap comes back.

The more I think about this, the more I realize there is no way out....
And I can't just keep her around for sex, I'm way too attached to her to use her or anything.
 
Listen to Pagey and get it over with. Even if you were a licensed therapist, I doubt you could help this girl or "fix" her.
 
You sound like a reasonable guy with a lot of affection towards this girl but it's sort of wasted, sorry to say. She has problems that you can't and shouldn't try to solve. By cutting ties with her would be the kindest thing you could do for her. Focus on YOU and what you need to get through this. Don't buy into her mindtrips and stop coddling her like she is the most fragile person in the world ie, taking her back every time she asks. This girl knows what she is doing to you and you gotta take a step back and stop allowing this to continue.
 
I don't regret... anything though.
I'm a very optimistic person and even though I love her more than anything, I will let her go.
I am confident I'll find someone else... someone who is more like me.
 
Ok so ur young i take it. She's 17 the only way shes gonna act decent is by growing up. and by growing up i mean literally growing up. The bull shit usually stops around 25 a lil earlier for those that mature quicker.

How old are u if ur comfortable answering that. would give alot more insight.
 
1. Cut off all communication with this chick
2. When she attempts to contact you, do not respond
3. Time ---->
4. ???
5. Move on with life.

It's pretty easy to see that the only time she wants you is when she can't have you.
 
I am 21. We have met today before school and discussed... We agreed on taking a long break. She said she's sorry for dragging me into this, that she cant give me the love and affection I need right now, not while she's suffering. She suggested breaking up completely and cutting all ties.... Or a break. I thought about it and we talked and agreed on takin' a break... We took one before, but it was short, only 4 days... stuff went well after that... Until she had a fight with her mom and started getting depressed and crap again.
 
And, guess what. Now she's sending me messages and shit. And then she sends me more messages like "comeee on, really? Why aren't you answering?".... Why does she do this? We agreed to take a break and not talk. Why doed she act so nice only when she can't have me, and once she has me she treats me like crap and does not give a shit?
 
BluLait said:
And, guess what. Now she's sending me messages and shit. And then she sends me more messages like "comeee on, really? Why aren't you answering?".... Why does she do this? We agreed to take a break and not talk. Why doed she act so nice only when she can't have me, and once she has me she treats me like crap and does not give a shit?
Click to expand...

You agreed to take a break so stick with it. Hope she doesn't drop in because that would be creepy but confirm she's got issues.
 
Changed said:
1. Cut off all communication with this chick
2. When she attempts to contact you, do not respond
3. Time ---->
4. ???
5. Move on with life.

It's pretty easy to see that the only time she wants you is when she can't have you.
Click to expand...

BluLait said:
And, guess what. Now she's sending me messages and shit. And then she sends me more messages like "comeee on, really? Why aren't you answering?".... Why does she do this? We agreed to take a break and not talk. Why doed she act so nice only when she can't have me, and once she has me she treats me like crap and does not give a shit?
Click to expand...

let me make it a little more clear for you...
 
Well.. I told her this, I asked why does she only "care" about me when I'm not that available. And she got pissed off... Then we carried on fighting and I told her that she's got issues and that she shouldn't hate everyone and envy people because that's not going to get her anywhere and only hurt her more... But she got pissed off she said I am insulting her and now she's not talking to me. I told her that I don't care if she calls me again or not because I only want to help but I'm not going to carry on like this forever. She called me and asked: "you don't really care?" I said no. She said ok, and hung up.

So I got pissed and I went out with another girl today... And it feels good, fuck that bitch, really.
This other girl really really seems to like me hehe...

Changed said:
let me make it a little more clear for you...
Click to expand...

Yes, but what does it mean?
 
It's simple. Just stop talking to her. Stop answering her calls. Just STOP RESPONDING! She's continuing because you always give in.
 
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